Page 35 of Where Fireflies Dwell
I t’s hard to breathe. He’s not the one crying, nor is he the one hurting, but Jihoon feels his heart drop and his throat close. It’s almost as if a dense smoke is coagulating inside the bus, seeping through the empty seats and into his nostrils.
It’s so damn quiet here that Jihoon only hears the echoes of Yunho’s muffled sobs and his own heart breaking.
It’s only been a few days since Yunho approached them at school. Jihoon and Sangheon were studying when the blond revealed Wooju’s difficult situation with Noh Jaehee.
“It isn’t my place to say this, but I’m desperate. I don’t think I can just stand around and do nothing like he wants me to. I know Wooju needs me. I need to save him, and I need you guys to help me do it,” Yunho had practically begged, fingers fiddling with his pencil as he obviously omitted crucial details, such as the things Wooju told Jihoon about the future.
“We’ll try again tomorrow,” Jihoon says as he sits next to Yunho. “For now, you have to be strong for him.”
“I don’t know how much time we have left,” Yunho murmurs, hopelessness etched across his face.
“We have all the time in the world,” Jihoon tries.
“No, we don’t. I need something else now. Wooju has been suffering for too long.”
“I know, but—” Jihoon stops himself. He doesn’t want to hurt Yunho’s feelings, but there is a question slithering in his mind: Why is Wooju protecting his manager instead of just involving the police and confessing the truth? Jihoon already felt so torn between believing Wooju is from the future or sticking to a less complicated reality, more so now.
Wooju said he’ll be okay. He looked so sure. I shouldn’t doubt him now. I promised I’d help him save Yunho.
“I don’t know how to save him.” Yunho rubs his haggard face in frustration. “I don’t know what else I can do for him. I can’t find anything on Noh Jaehee, and I don’t know anyone else who can help. All I know for sure is that he’s gonna hurt Wooju again if I don’t do anything.” Tears begin to form in his eyes, his voice cracking with every breath. “He’s gonna hurt him again. Wooju said he’ll take care of it, but what if something goes wrong? What if something bad happens to him? He saved me, but how do I save him?”
Jihoon stills. He has only known the blond one-sidedly, and yet his heart aches to see Yunho this upset.
“You haven’t changed at all, have you, Yunho? Just like how you saved me from my abusive father, you’re doing your best to save Wooju, too.”
Yunho pauses, then he meets Jihoon’s longing gaze. “What are you talking about now?”
“Remember Soozy ?” Jihoon asks. “That was me. The long-haired little boy you saved from his father. You gave me that stupid name.”
“What? You’re Soozy? Soozy wasn’t a girl?”
“Okay, I’m gonna pretend I didn’t hear that.”
Memories of their younger years resurface. Of them running away from Jihoon’s abusive father and becoming friends in the midst of chaos, laughing about the chase and exchanging names from behind the magnolia trees, and Jihoon’s eyes glimmering with hope once again.
“You once told me I did well. For doing good after being saved and not wasting the life you saved.” Jihoon conjures the first time Yunho carried him on his back. “You said Wooju saved you, too. Then tell me, Yunho, do you think he would be happy to see you like this?
“You don’t eat. All you do is drink and worry. If you look closely in the mirror, you’ll see someone who looks like death. Yunho, whatever Wooju did to save you, he did it so you could live. Whatever he’s doing right now, I’m sure he’s also doing it for you.” He places a warm hand over Yunho’s cold ones. “Maybe ... he wants you to save yourself first.”
“What if I don’t want to?”
“Even if saving yourself first saves him, too?”