Page 22

22

CALY

I had never been a bad student. School and learning had always been an escape for me, a place that could muffle out the darkness that lay waiting for me at home with Commander Von or, when he was no longer there, the demons of my own mind. I knew though that had I ever been sent to the principal’s office, it would have been eerily similar to my current endeavor.

The squish and slap of our wet feet was impossibly comical against the soft harp music filtering through the air as we followed the man with the monocle. I thought he moved shockingly fast for a man of his age, which reminded me that he was most likely somewhat ageless if he was in Moirai. He could be a god for all I knew, though the similar robe style led me to believe he was more likely another Ascended Artemi, like my father.

I desperately wished we had been going slower so I could have looked around at my own pace. It was like nothing I could have ever imagined. Everywhere I looked, lush plants and trees filled my vision. On the short walk, I’d seen more species of fauna and flora than I’d seen in my entire life, and I had studied it for years. Several times, Eli or Mendax had to grab my sopping wet shirt or my hand and tug me along after I had stopped to examine one of the many species of butterflies or praying mantis–like creatures. It was a nature paradise. Small bunnies and little fluffy creatures I had never seen before seemed to pour out to greet me, and as always, every time I gave my attention to one of the animals, my heart danced, thinking of Adrianna.

We continued along the flagstone path as it wound and curved through various landscapes until the rough-edged rocks of the path became flat, iridescent bricks of glass with tiny white flowers that carpeted the nooks and crannies in between each stone. I could see the worms and larvae in the rich brown soil under the glass. Hummingbirds or something that looked to be in the same genus whizzed by our heads, stopping to drink in nearby flowers.

Struggling to pay attention, I didn’t notice the large glass structure in front of us until we were only a few hundred feet away from a tall door with welded iron edges in the shape of spread butterfly wings.

“Through these doors and into the front entrance,” the man stated, looking slowly over Mendax and me in all our muddy glory. “No doubt they are expecting you.” He gave a weak bow and turned back the way we had come, vanishing from sight.

The building in front of us was peculiar and beautiful all at once. At first glance, it gave the appearance of a somewhat traditional stone castle with walls of heavy irregular tones in various shades of cool gray, but upon further inspection, I saw at least every sixth stone or so was made of glass. Large glass sculptures of various animals decorated the various corners of the roof like gargoyles with matching clear statues scattered among the elaborate landscape. The building was large but significantly smaller than either of the Seelie or Unseelie castles. This seemed somehow cozy, if one could ever really call a castle cozy. Not at all what I had expected.

The iridescent glass of the butterfly wings shimmered as Eli opened the door and held it for me. Shards of opalescent light leapt across the walls of the entryway. There was picture-frame molding in the same sage-green color as the walls, a cascading banister of light-colored wood following beautiful stairs up several floors, and a vaulted ceiling high in the center. My bare feet felt dirty and slippery against the glossy white floor with sparkling grout. Flowing white curtains paired with the gentle walls of sage gave the interior a serene feeling.

A wooden podium stood at the center of the entryway with a small rubbed-bronze plaque on the front labeled Registration . A short, brown-haired woman with her nose pressed inside an open book scribbled away with an obnoxiously tall, fluffy cream quill that shimmied and swayed with each passionate movement she made.

The three of us shared a look. There was no possible way she hadn’t heard our entry of sloshing, stomping feet. Eli, the obvious people person and cleanest of our obscure group, took the lead and stepped up to the podium where he cleared his throat dramatically.

The woman continued her frenzied writing. “Welcome to Moirai. I’m Anastasia. I’ll be—Oh my Fates, it’s you,” she said once she looked up and slowly set the quill down, looking past Eli to me. Her awestruck eyes felt probing and invasive as she looked me over, mouth hanging wide.

I didn’t know what to say, so I just stared back at her.

When I had pictured myself finally stepping foot in Moirai to end my father, there was never a receptionist or the most stunning array of plants and creatures I had ever seen. In my mind, Moirai had been dirty and sooty, with iron bars and spikes, something substantially more prisonlike than this. In my daydreams, my father fought me the second my feet hit Moirai soil, and I stabbed him like a stuck pig while I made him confess his mistakes in giving his powers to sweet Adrianna. I always spoke calmly and full of wit in these fantasies. I’d have him begging for mercy, and just before I slit his throat and removed his head, he would tell me something like, You are a monster, and both your mother and Adrianna deserved their untimely deaths . Then I’d saw his head from his neck before going to be with my family once and for all.

Not once in any of those daydreams had I shown up covered in mud, with no shoes or weapons, making requests to a receptionist.

“Tell Zef he needs to come to the front immediately,” the woman said, looking off to the right.

I looked around to see who she was speaking to and saw nothing.

“It’s through here,” she whispered, tapping her temple and giving me a wink, as if she were letting me in on a trade secret.

I nodded, still at a loss for words.

“You don’t happen to know anything about a chestnut-brown floricorn, do you?” Eli asked under his breath.

“A floricorn? Yes, I believe one was just sent to Tartarus,” she replied with a friendly voice.

“What? Tartarus! You sent her to Tartarus? Why?” Eli’s voice cracked.

“I’m sorry. I think it was actually to the Elysian Fields,” she said thoughtfully.

“What? Why?” he asked, obviously upset.

“I really don’t know the details,” she replied with a smile.

A loud bang sounded to the right like heavy doors slamming shut. It was followed by the echoes of heavy footsteps. My stomach flipped as I listened to them getting closer.

My father turned the corner and stopped in his tracks when his eyes landed on me. The familiar face with the neatly trimmed gray beard instantly fell, then turned tight and angry. His blue eyes hardened when they looked to Eli and Mendax.

“You’re here.” His voice dripped with disappointment so heavy, my eyes shot to Eli in a told-you-so scowl. Zef glared at me for a moment before shaking his head. “I did everything in my power to stop you from coming here, but alas, fate guides those who accompany it and manhandles those who resist.” He let out a defeated sigh before scrunching his face at the long streaks of brown mud and footprints we had smeared across the white floor. “And you’re somehow covered in filth already.”

“You did summon me here,” I bit out, finally finding my voice.

“No, my dear, I most definitely did not. I’m afraid that was all the Fates doing. I didn’t want you anywhere near here, believe me.” His fists clenched at the sides of his forest-green robes.

Mendax cracked his knuckles and stepped so close behind me, I was able to feel the firmness of his stomach graze my back as he breathed in. It felt nice to know he had my back—literally and figuratively. It gave me the boost of confidence I needed.

“Don’t call me dear again. I’m not dear to you. You left me—left us,” I corrected. This wasn’t about me. I felt my blood warm with hate and anger. How had I let Eli convince me for a second that this man cared about me? His disdain for me was so pungent it pulsed from his features.

Zef nodded slowly and turned to the woman behind the podium. “Yes, well then, it’s too late now. Let’s find you rooms and fresh clothes. Anastasia, please get them situated. Calypso, please be decent in an hour, and meet me in the gardens.” He looked at Mendax and Eli, slowly appraising each of them briefly before looking back at me with a disappointed shake of the head and leaving the way he had entered.

I was so overcome with anger, I could hardly see straight.

I wanted to hit something so bad, I felt like my head might cave in if I didn’t. My arms trembled with fury that had nowhere to go. Not yet at least. He would get his soon enough.

“That was intense. Are you okay?” Eli asked, moving to stand in front of me. “I’m sorry. I—I guess you’re right. I didn’t know him at all. I still can’t help but think there’s more to it.” The lines next to his eyes, the ones that normally lifted with creases of happiness, looked so out of place not wrinkled up. His big amber eyes made him look like a puppy that had been kicked and left in a ditch.

I hated seeing him like that. It somehow made me even more mad that my father had made him sad. He was the Seelie prince! He was sunshine and freckles, laughter and dancing, yet here my father was, making him sad like me. I was always secretly afraid I would somehow ruin his sunshine, and moments like this confirmed my fears.

“I’m fine!” I snapped at him. “Don’t I look fine?” I held my arms out dramatically to display my muddy clothes and bare feet.

“Just take it easy,” he said, placing a hand on my arm. He had known me a long time , but I never let him see all the cracks or the darkness that hid behind them. By now he knew it existed, had even seen flashes of it, like when I’d killed his mother, but he still hadn’t experienced it, not really. If he had, he would know that touching me wasn’t a good idea right now. I didn’t want to hide any of me anymore.

I shoved his hand away, turning my glare on him.

“Cal, there has to be more to it. You know I’m always right about these things. It’s like I have a sixth sense or something. I’m telling you, he cares about you.” He reached out to caress my arm but thought better and dropped his hand.

I squeezed my eyes shut and tried calming myself down. Seeing my father—being mere feet away from him in Moirai—was so much heavier on my mind and heart than I had ever thought it could be.

“Stop trying to make everything rainbows and sunshine, Aurelius!” My sudden shout echoed throughout the entrance. I reached for my weapon, and with none to grab, I clenched my fists until they went numb. I softened my voice, eventually whispering, “If you were truly my best friend, then you would be helping me and my sister right now. You would help Adrianna by killing him!”

“This isn’t helping Adrianna!” Eli shouted back as he gently grabbed ahold of my shoulder and looked deep into my eyes. “This doesn’t do anything for your sister or your mother! This does nothing but end another life!”

I knocked his hands away and glanced over my shoulder to see if the woman was listening before turning back on my friend. I was frantic now. “You never met Adrianna! You wouldn’t know how to help her or me unless your mother told you what to do!” The words were out of my mouth before I could mash them down into the box of forbidden phrases they came from.

Eli stilled. “I know you don’t mean that.” He looked to the floor and then the glass door. “You’re angry and you’re hurt, and you’re taking it out on me, because you know you could never say anything that would change how much I care about you. You’re right. I never did get to meet Adrianna, but even having never met her, I know she wouldn’t want you to end your life to be with her. No sister would want that, and if she was even half as gentle and kind as you paint her to be, she wouldn’t want you to kill her father either. You aren’t doing this for your family, Calypso. You are doing this for you!” His chest rose and fell heavily as he waited for my response.

I moved to hit him and stopped myself. My steps faltered back, slapping against the cool tile as I ran to the large butterfly doors behind me.

“Cal, wait!” Eli called after me as I slammed through the doors and back into the plant-strewn paradise.

I couldn’t hear his voice right now. There was too much happening, and I was going to do something I would regret.

I couldn’t sort out my thoughts, and my emotions were flowing unrestrained. Why was my father so wretched? I knew all along why he had left. It was always because of me, and this had affirmed it. He had probably seen what a monster I was as a child and decided to sever ties then. How strongly must you hate someone to completely abandon them? And even more if you’d just given powers to another one of your kids.

I had barely made it out of the doors when my legs threatened to give out. Crippling pain knocked me to the ground. I gasped desperately for air as I struggled to get up again. Anger throbbed behind the veil of agony. Footsteps clapped over the pathway behind me. I felt like a lion with an injured foot that couldn’t get away. The footsteps stopped behind me. A tan hand came into view with an offering of help.

“Sometimes help isn’t always grand and showy, Calypso. If someone truly wants to help you, it isn’t done for accolades or a pat on the back. It’s done because they care about that person and want the best for them, irrespective of what they might think.” Eli shoved his hand closer to me. His eyes flickered slightly, and my pain was suddenly gone save for a small, nagging ache in my legs and chest that always stayed.

I took his hand and rose from the ground.

“You’ve made your point Aurelius. Feuhn kai greeyth! Feuhn kai greeyth! I get it.” My voice softened. “Thank you for keeping me alive and pain-free with the tie that I didn’t ask for.” It didn’t sound like it right then, but I really was thankful for everything Eli had done, including keeping me pain-free, but I was still so angry.

“I’m not talking about me, Cal. I’m talking about your father, and don’t throw our words around like that. You only say them when you mean them with every fiber of your being,” he stated, gruffer than I’d heard for a long time. “Otherwise, don’t say them.”

Rage poured through me until it felt like I might burst into flames. He had no idea what I was feeling!

“I think you’re both fools,” came a deep voice from the doorway. Mendax sloshed a few steps in front of me. “People only help another with selfish intentions. They help in the knowledge that their time and energy will be returned with benefit.”

My rage turned on him. “So that is why you help me then?” I challenged.

He looked around slowly, as if I must be the only one who didn’t understand. “Yes, most definitely. I am not here because I didn’t want you to feel alone. I’m not on this seemingly never-ending endeavor with you because I want to be at your side in support while you work out your babyhood traumas, pet. I am here purely for selfish reasons, and I will continue to remain at your side for all of eternity for entirely uncharitable and selfish motives, I promise you.”

“Let’s get you to your rooms. I’m sure a fresh change of clothing could help everyone.” The brown-haired woman popped her head into our little group.

I bit my tongue until it bled as we followed Anastasia and her crimson robes down another stunning path. I was upset with my father and needed to get a grip. Keep it to the side until I needed it. I wasn’t mad at Eli or Mendax. I was hurt and petrified of losing them.

I had lived my life with a plan. The moment my mother and sister had left me, my plans for retribution kept me company. I had nothing but the thoughts of getting even. Somewhere along the line, those same plans blossomed into my only friend. Of course, they would disappear whenever Eli visited me in the human realm before reappearing with a jealous flare whenever he left. Most of the appeal of having the witch separate my heart had been in the hope that maybe, just maybe, I wouldn’t feel as much after it was gone. Of course, it helped in my plan to convince Saracen that I was Artemi, but I had hoped that maybe it would also help me to have thoughts other than the incessant daydreams of killing Saracen and my father day in and day out.

It hadn’t.

Since Mom and Adrianna left me, I’d not lived an hour of my life that had not revolved around thoughts of this very moment, yet I had already failed what I’d taken a lifetime to plan.

My father should have been gurgling out blood by now.

“Aurelius and Mendax, you’ll be here. You will find an attendant inside that will help you with anything you should need. Calypso, please follow me,” the woman said.

I jolted from my thoughts to look up from the beautiful path of creeping thyme. Two small cottages, tucked into a large hill of what looked to be various types of succulents and cacti that covered each mound. The buildings looked as if the hill had begun to swallow them whole and stopped at the arched wood door of each.

“Why is Cal not staying here as well?” Eli asked.

“These villas will suit you both best. Calypso’s rooms will be a little farther ahead,” she stated politely with a hint of annoyance.

Mendax and Eli exchanged a look.

“I assure you both that she will be safe where I take her. Please be aware that as of”—she reached into her robe and pulled out a glass pocket watch that sprang open, and the blossom of a stunning purple lily appeared—“ten past midnight, your powers will be in the neutral state.” The tiny flower receded as she closed the glass lid of the watch and returned it to her robe pocket.

“A neutral state? They are keeping us alive right now,” Eli said, suddenly worried.

“You have arrived in Moirai. In about an hour, the Fates will sort out the business of keeping you all alive until they summon you. I expect it will be closer to tomorrow evening, so please get some rest before then. This way to your rooms, miss.” She began walking.

I took a step to follow her and gave a small nod to the boys. “It’s probably best if we all get some alone time to think anyway. Aurelius.” I turned to the golden prince. “I apologize for earlier. It…” A heavy sigh bottomed out from my lungs. “It seems that this is a bit more complicated emotionally than I had prepared for. You, being my best friend, already know that I don’t handle emotions of any sort very well, but especially not when they involve my family. I owe you both my life in so many ways. It’s hard for me to imagine one of us not living through this.” I shook my head. “I’m exhausted and confused and not making any sense. I will see you in the morning or whenever it is they collect us. I love you both.” I moved to catch up with the woman.

“Call if you need anything. I will hear you,” Eli said.

I nodded my thanks and hurried to catch up with the woman.

We walked in silence for several minutes. She took me through a small path that wound between various stumps covered in spongy green moss. The short, dense grass of the path tickled my feet, and I felt the edges of my anger and sadness begin to ebb. I wondered if she’d chosen this path knowing that would happen.

A high-pitched clicking noise sounded above us and nearly squealed.

“You have bats here.” I paused to look into the darkening sky and watched them fly around us.

She smiled proudly. “I knew you’d like this section.”

I tilted my head in confusion.

“The bats are one of Zef’s favorite sections to go through at night.”

I rolled my eyes.

“Moirai is where the children and grandchildren of the gods live. It’s home to the Fates and the Artemi, both beacons and creators of nature.” She held her arms out. “Everything here is created with that in mind.” She smiled. “It’s only natural that you would like it while you keep Adrianna’s powers.”

“How do you know so much about me?” I asked her.

“I know a lot about you. Can I ask you an honest question?”

“You can ask me anything you want. Whether or not I answer it…” I shrugged. What the fuck was happening? I didn’t want to make a new friend with the receptionist. I just wanted to go to sleep.

“Eli seems…lost, don’t you think?” she asked.

My feet stilled on the moss. Was this some kind of a trick? “Lost?” I asked.

She pointed up to the blue-black sky where another bat squeaked by. “Yeah. Like he doesn’t know what his destiny is anymore or something.”

I didn’t like talking to her about him. It made the hair on the back of my neck rise. “Yeah, he has a lot going on,” I replied vaguely, suddenly racking my brain for something else to talk about with this random stranger. “Your pocket watch,” I said as we continued walking.

She looked up with a genuine smile. “Yes, you enjoy my pocket watch. You see, there is this tiny flower that?—”

“Photonastic movement.”

She looked at me with a friendly smile and quirked her eyebrow. I had a feeling she already knew the answer but was humoring me, knowing she’d pressed about things she should have left alone.

So I continued. “It’s the plant’s response to the onset of night and the temperature change controlled by the circadian clock. The flower closes when the bottom petals grow at a faster rate than the petals on top, forcing them shut. It’s amazing,” I said.

“It’s nature’s magic.” She continued forward.

“It’s science,” I argued, moving beside her.

She stopped again. “Are they not the same thing?” She winked and continued forward.

“Are you close with my father?” I asked.

She smiled. “Yes. I am quite close with Zef.”

We moved in silence, each a little more closed off with the other than we had been. I wondered if she was Zef’s girlfriend or something. And had she overheard me talking about murdering him? That could be bad.

We passed through a cozy meadow filled with tiny white, bell-shaped flowers and a stream, stopping at the back of a small cottage with an old wooden picnic bench. Goose bumps covered every inch of my skin as the blood drained from my face.

“It this some kind of a fucking joke? Did you do this or him? This was his doing, wasn’t it? He just cannot let me have one moment of peace!” I shouted.

The woman ignored my question. “You are obviously familiar with the garden near the front entrance, since that’s where you landed. Your father wishes to see you there in”—the glass pocket watch glistened like crystal water against the silver moon above us—“forty-three minutes. Here, keep the watch,” she said with a hint of sympathy as she placed the smooth watch in my palm. “You’ll figure out how to read it. Don’t be late to meet your father. Clothes and food are inside. The Fates thought it best not to risk leaving an attendant with you, as unstable as you are right now, but please call if there is anything you need.”

“Unstable! You—” My words fell silent when I turned to realize she was completely gone. I spun around looking for her, but she was nowhere.

They left an attendant with Mendax, but I was too unstable for one?

My shoulders sagged in defeat as I reluctantly turned my attention back to the house—my childhood home. Even the air had the same fragrance of honeysuckle and fresh laundry from my past. I moved a few steps to touch the faded wood picnic table. I knew none of this was real, but even the knots in the table looked the same. I forced myself to look out into the field where it had all started. My fingers grazed over the V-shaped scar on my thumb as they always did when I thought about that day.

My eyes snagged on a painted terra-cotta pot next to the steps of the back door. Now I knew he was doing this to torture me.

Unable to look at the place for another second, I palmed the tiny gold vines of Adrianna’s ashes and spun to leave. I didn’t have to be here anymore. I didn’t have to remember it. I would go and stay with the boys.

The tears fell, weakening me with every drop.

Better yet, I would go now and kill my father—or myself. Anything that I could to make these feelings stop.

I turned around. As badly as I wanted to be gone, I wanted to be back with some of the memories even more. My feet carried me back to the house, only allowing me to drop when I reached the small terra-cotta pot again. I fell to the ground and lifted the dirt-filled pot to my lap. Large sticks of mulch fell out onto my lap from the drainage hole at the bottom.

Best frendz was scribbled on the pot in a child’s sloppy handwriting. Above it were two stick-figure girls with interlaced arms. Adrianna had been tasked with painting us, and I had been in charge of the words because I was older. My body curled around the pot as I melted into the ground with tears that felt as heavy as a river. I missed her more than should have been humanly possible. I wasn’t me without her.

“Calypso! Leave the frogs alone, and come inside for dinner!”

I startled upright at the sound of my mom’s voice. My heart lodged in my throat at the sight of her as she stood holding the back screen door open. She looked just how I remembered her with wild hair and tired, nervous eyes. Absently, she adjusted her neckline to cover the top of her skeleton tattoo as she always had. She chewed the side of her cheek a second before turning around.

“Mom! Mom, it’s me! Mom!” I ran to her.

The door slammed closed with a creak as she went back into the house, completely unaware of me.

“Mom, please!” I called, following her. I needed her to look at me. “Please, Mom, look at me,” I cried as I turned the corner into the kitchen.

“Adrianna, get out of your sister’s room, and sit down. Dinner is ready,” my mom called as she moved around the kitchen.

“Mom,” I whispered. Nothing. It was as if I wasn’t even there.

“Where’s Cal?” came a little voice that was much too painful to hear.

I watched my little sister climb up to our old wood table.

It was too much to see her. My back hit the wall as I tried to leave. I slid to the floor, my eyes unable to leave her little body.

“It should have been me, Adrianna,” I began to blubber incoherently. “Sor—sorry, I’m so sorry, Addy. It should’ve been me she killed, not you. I’m so sorry. I’ll fix it—I’ll fix it.”

Like my mom, she didn’t hear or see me. Instead, she continued to play with her fork.

I made my way to the back door and fell out of it, tripping over my own feet. It was like every scarred wound of mine had been ripped open and was bleeding out at the same time. Memories and feelings I had shoved away reared their painful heads, and as always, anger beat them back down before they could consume me. I clenched my fists and let out a scream that rivaled any wild animal’s. I was going to finish this. Once and for all, I would be done with this pain.

The tears wouldn’t stop falling, even cushioned by anger. My clothes had started to dry, and the mud crackled off in little crumbs that followed me, making me furious. I needed a weapon and now . I turned back to enter the house and grab a knife from the kitchen before I left to go to him.

“Let’s get this over with.”

My muscles snapped to attention hearing my father’s voice.

I turned to see him standing about ten feet away, holding out a long dagger in my direction. It was clear and icy-looking on the bottom with a cloudy white center. It had a frosted white handle with an intricate butterfly design around the cross guard and pommel.

I was running at him before he had finished his sentence. The stupid old man tossed the blade to me before brandishing his own. It looked similar to the one I now held, but instead of a white handle, his was all black other than the gold vines.

Without a second thought, I lunged for his heart. I would remove his head once I got him down. He stepped to the right, dodging my haphazard attempt. I tried again and again, putting every ounce of my will and training into slamming the blade into any part of him that I could. Yet every time, no matter how close, my father would calmly step away. There was never an indication of which direction he would go either. His face remained passive, almost somber as he moved about gracefully. I hadn’t so much as grazed him, and I felt like I was about to collapse.

This continued until I was so exhausted, both mentally and physically, that I couldn’t lift the blade one more time. I fell to the ground in a heap.

“Fine! You win,” I panted.

He stepped to where I was slumped and held out his hand to help me up.

Idiot.

I pressed the blade into his chest so quickly, my fist hit his chest. Or at least it would have had the blade not disappeared from my hand.

He smiled, grabbing my empty fist and pulling me to my feet. “Your mother would have been so damn proud of you.”

“You mock me.” I glowered. “Was this not enough?” I asked, waving my hands wide toward the house.

“I do not say it in mocking, Calypso. She would have been proud. Your mother was one of the smartest women to ever exist,” he said as he looked toward the house. “You take after her more than you will ever know.”

“You will not speak about her. Not within my earshot,” I snarled.

He looked offended. “My child, I knew your mother far longer than you and have grieved deeper than you can possibly imagine. Do not tell me not to speak about her, you who haven’t even grieved her death yet.”

I hurled myself at him.

Just as before, he moved to the side as if it were a choreographed dance and he knew all my steps. I was more exhausted than I’d ever felt in my life, in every possible way. Anger and rage, the beasts that stood guard of my other emotions, were too tired to fight anything else. Tears that felt like they were directly attached to my heart dropped from my eyes, taking molecules of my wholeness with them.

“You have no idea how hard I’ve grieved my mother!” I shouted like a feral monster.

“I do. I know everything there is to possibly know about you, my dear, and I’ll tell you something that will really piss you off.” He leaned in closer to me. “I love you more than you could ever imagine.”

I made contact with his shoulder. The tip of the blade I’d swiped from his hand entered his skin, but it wasn’t enough to do anything. I swore in defeat as he took a step back, taking the blades with him.

“Yes, she would be—she is—very proud of you,” he said as he touched his finger to the minuscule cut on his shoulder. He huffed a small, nearly silent laugh. “This reminds me of what you pulled when you took down that fae from Rosenbecks,” he said. “The one that took your blade so you had to use, oh, what was it?”

My every cell froze. “The pin from his hat,” I muttered.

“Yes! The pin from his hat. He looked like a strawberry after you were finished with him.” He smiled a closed-lip smile that faded quickly from his eyes and turned to something sad.

“How do you know that? Were you spying on me?” I accused, though it sounded too quiet and gentle to be considered any type of real accusation and not hopeful wonderment.

“I’ve watched everything, my dear.” His face dropped, aging him another ten years as his blue eyes fell heavily. “Everything.”

“What? Gross!” I snapped, immediately thinking about some of the lewd and lascivious things I’d done.

Zef immediately jerked back. “Oh my, no! I suppose I should be more specific. Nothing indecent, I assure you.” He cringed.

That hardly calmed me. “Why? Why watch me? You didn’t care enough to stay and help us, so what is the point? Is that how you enjoy your free time? Watching your daughter struggle?” I walked to the picnic table with trembling legs and sat down. Silently, I prayed sitting for a minute would give me enough strength to take action.

“Calypso, believe me, I never wanted to leave you. It wasn’t my choice. I ascended, as all Artemi are meant to. It was my fate, just as it would have been your sister’s. Just as what you are doing now is your fate.” He sat on the opposite side of the table.

“Was it your fate to destroy your daughter? You say you watched everything, but did you listen as well? Could you hear the screams of pain from your daughter when her powers began to come in? The powers you gave her? She wasn’t even able to stay alive long enough to get the rest of them,” I shouted. Suns, why couldn’t I be stronger?

“Believe me, I know it won’t make any sense to you and will sound incredibly harsh, but everything that happened to you, no matter how unfortunate it was, was what has led you to where you are now. The same with your mother and sister,” he stated.

“You don’t even care! Look at you. You are the reason they are dead! How could you do that to her? How! How could you look at your own flesh and blood and see how gentle and sweet she was and still do that to her? She was my best friend, and you killed her! How could you!” With all my flailing about, I fell off the bench and landed on my backside as I screamed and bellowed out all the demons that had lain quiet inside me for so many years. “It was too much! She was too soft! You should have given it to me. I could have taken the pain!”

My father’s gray brows pinched together with a flicker of unease. If I didn’t know him to be a complete monster, I would have thought he looked hurt at my words.

“You think you could have weathered the power better, but you’re wrong, my child. Long before I had either of you, I chose your sister to receive my Artemi powers because she was the right fit. You think she was too weak. How else does one get stronger? By overcoming things we don’t think we can. Look at you.” He stood from the bench and walked to where I sat on the ground and extended his hand to me. “Do you think you would be as strong and fierce as you are now had you not been hardened by the events of your life?” He leaned in closer and barely above a whisper said, “Yet you are destined to change the realms far more than you could ever imagine.”

I glared at him, refusing his hand. He let out a huff and sat on the ground next to me, somehow making me even more mad.

“I was destined to change the realms.” If my eyes narrowed any more, I wouldn’t be able to see out of them. My fingers absently clutched at my pendant.

“Yes,” he said with an unnerving stare at my sister’s ashes.

I struggled to stand, nearly falling over again, feeling abnormally weak. The bond and tie were taking more from my body with every passing day it seemed. “Enough bullshit. I don’t want to talk to you anymore. Sever the tie and the bond between Eli, Mendax, and I now! They have no part in this. This is between you, me, and Adrianna,” I shouted.

He looked to the ground, and his eyes fluttered closed. “I tried everything to stop you from coming here—everything in my power. I tried to hide and break the scrolls from the Fates before you could get them, I intercepted the scroll and included edible tickets that would send you back to the human realm, where you would be safe, but it was no use fighting fate. I even lost my dearest falcon to an accident when I tried to have it remove the scroll from Lake Sheridon.”

“Why would you do all that to try and stop us?” I could feel my face reddening with frustration.

“Because the Fates are going to let Aurelius and Mendax go—” he began.

My heart instantly felt lighter. I knew we would all get out of this together.

“—and they are going to kill you.”

Oh. Well, good.

I was aware that was likely never the response when you find out that you are going to die, but for me, it was the best scenario. It meant both princes could return to their realms and pick up where they left off—without me. I wouldn’t be responsible for yet another of my loved ones’ deaths.

“You welcome death,” my father said, taking note of my small smile. “Why?”

“I have long awaited the day that I could be released from the pain and loneliness of this world and return to Mother and Adrianna,” I said, feeling at peace for the first time in a very long time. It wasn’t happening the way I had envisioned it, but Eli and Mendax would live, and I would get to rest in the Elysian Fields with my sister. I squeezed the pendant. I could almost imagine what it would feel like to hug her again. Was she still little, or had she grown up? I could hardly wait to see her again and tell her I was sorry.

“Adrianna is not resting in the Elysian Fields with the other unascended Artemi, I’m afraid, though your mother is there waiting,” he said gently.

“What?” The word was a whisper.

“See the things you would have missed out on had you killed me upon first sight as you’d hoped to? There is far too much to discuss, Calypso.” The corners of his mouth pulled up in a sad smile.

“How is Mom in the Elysian Fields? Humans go to heaven?” I asked warily, unsure if I should even be believing the things he was telling me.

“As I said: too much to discuss here. My hope in putting you back in this situation was not to hurt you but to let you grieve as you’ve never been able to allow yourself. Your anger and fury have stopped your ability to fully grieve them,” he said softly.

I wanted to hate him. I had hated him, but I couldn’t deny it was different now. Nothing about him exuded anything but wise and calm peacefulness. It was the same feeling I got with the animals. They never had bad intentions. Even when they bit, it was out of fear or hunger. As much as I had been trying to, I was unable to push that same feeling away now, even through my hurt and blame.

“Let me show you to your actual rooms. They are in the garden. I had a feeling you might enjoy it there.” He offered me his hand again.

“If Adrianna is not in the Elysian Fields, then where is she?” I asked as I looked up from the ground.

He sighed and looked at the ground. “Because of you, your sister remains trapped in Tartarus.”

As before, he went to remove his hand, but I grabbed it before he could completely pull it away. I stood up and released him. “Because of me?”

His eyes were filled with sadness. I hated how much the almond shape of his eyes reminded me of my sister’s. It felt nearly impossible to be upset with anyone who had any resemblance to her. He stared at my pendant as he gave a nod.

“The Elysian Fields are an ethereal place for those who have good, pure hearts. It’s the place where the good go to rest and where the bad go to rot in misery. The same concept goes for Tartarus. It is where evil fae go to wreak havoc in happiness and the so-called good fae go to be punished. Eromreven is the place of arrival in Tartarus where it’s decided what level you are cast to.” He took a few steps toward the path before turning back to face me.

“I know what Tartarus and the Elysian Fields are,” I grumbled at him.

He nodded, looking dejected. “Only full-blooded Seelie, Elven, and Hanabi royals and full-blooded Artemi are granted immediate access to the Elysian Fields.”

“Adrianna is full-blooded Artemi. She should be in the Elysian Fields.”

“She would be…except you still hold a drop of her Artemi power and a part of her soul in the ashes around your neck,” he said softly.

No.

“You’re lying.” I clasped the pendant to my chest until the little white gold vines and the FEUHN KAI GREEYTH inscription dug into my skin.

“She is trapped in Tartarus until she can be reunited with that last drop of her power and the remainder of her soul,” he said sadly.

My chest began to heave in a panic. “How? It’s her ashes, not her soul.”

A small tear ran down his face. “She, being so weak and gentle, as you put it, refused to leave you, even after she had died. The soul collectors had to go retrieve her, but by then, you already had a piece of her soul, completely encapsulated and unable to escape.”

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. “Then I’ll go to her. I’ll give it all back!”

“That isn’t possible. As of now, you are marked a Seelie royal by Prince Aurelius. You will join your mother in the Elysian Fields when you die.” He glanced over his shoulder for a second.

“It was just a joke! Eli didn’t even realize what he was saying!” I grabbed his forearms. It felt so weird to be touching my father and not trying to kill him.

He smiled, and a light sparked in his eyes. “Had either one of you meant it as a joke, it wouldn’t have held in the eyes of the Fates. You may think you were being sneaky, but Aurelius was as aware as you were, and besides that fact, even if that didn’t hold up, you are human. You would have then gone to heaven or hell in the human realm.”

“But Mom…you said she is in the Elysian Fields.” I let go of his robes and put my fingers to my temples.

He glanced back one last time. “I will tell you anything you wish to know, Calypso, but not here. Believe it or not, it pains me to be here as well.”

“Then why do this?” I snapped.

“Because,” he said, “you haven’t grieved them. Instead of dealing with your pain, you found ways to hurt others as much as you were hurting. This was my only way of getting through to you.”