Page 157 of When We Fall: Part Two

“For Ethan’s sanity, you should,” Emilio said solemnly. “You don’t need him, Enzo.”

“I do. If he arms our enemies, then what?”

Emilio was quiet for a moment. “I’ve always thought he was a snake. I’ll look into it. If he’s the reason for any of this shit, I’ll kill him myself.”

“If he had anything to do with any of this, you bring him to me, and we will end him together,” I said darkly.

Emilio nodded. “As you wish… boss.”

For the first time in a long time, I smiled. Emilio really was family to me, and he was all I had left of my parents.

“Get to work,” I said.

He didn’t say another word. He was on his feet and out the door without a backward glance.

And I sat in silence, my heart still aching as I thought about my sunshine upstairs, missing me.

I missed me too.

FORTY-NINE

ETHAN

Ifinished bagging more drugs in the basement several days after Enzo told me and Cole about some coin Fox had. Enzo had looked at me like I knew something.

I didn’t know shit about a coin.

He didn’t press me on it, but I knew it was a matter of time before he was up my ass, asking questions.

I lit up a sugar stick and took a deep drag. The pain meds they’d given me in the hospital had stirred some of my demons a little bit too much, and I’d been getting far too wasted on sugar lately. It was helping me, though, so I wasn’t about to stop. It kept me numb. It kept me from losing my shit.

And most of all, getting fucking blitzed made my nightmares so muddled that I wasn’t waking up screaming every night since going so heavy on the drugs.

What I needed to do was perfect the one that made it easier to control people. In my mind, I’d capture Everett Church and make him torture himself and eat any parts that fell off him. I’d been dabbling the last few days, trying to make the one I had a bit better. I wasn’t brave enough to try it, though, mostly because I was sure it would send me spiraling back to the underground with the shit they doped me with.

I hadn’t seen Rosalie much. I made sure to avoid her. Whenever I saw her, I got sick to my stomach, the ugly memories of Celeste riding me flashing through my mind.

I needed to tell Enzo and Cole, but the timing never seemed right.

I missed my sweetheart something fierce, but shit just wasn’t the same with me anymore. The burden of my secret was tearing me apart inside. It didn’t help that any sort of human contact made me completely lose my shit. I couldn’t even look at my dick without vomiting. It was all scarred to fuck and ugly. I didn’t want Rosalie to see me like that. To know what happened to me. To know that I’d been balls deep inside some whore who was likely knocked up with my kid.

A soft knock sounded on the door to my sugar cave, dragging me from my awful thoughts before I could panic some more.

“Come in,” I muttered, not bothering to look up.

Enzo and Cole stepped into the room, closing the door behind them.

“You’ve been down here a lot lately,” Enzo commented.

“Drugs don’t make themselves,” I mumbled, finally looking at him as he took a seat next to Cole across from me in one of the chairs surrounding the table I was at.

“How are you feeling?” Cole asked.

“Don’t worry about me. Worry about Rosalie,” I said, looking at a point over Cole’s head. I knew they were pretty much ignoring her. At least Enzo was. Cole was still trying.

“We are worrying about her, but E, man, we’re worried about you too,” Cole continued.

“Well, don’t. I’m not worth it. I’m fine. I’ll be fine. Always am.”