Page 34 of When I Fall in Love (De Piaget #4)

N icholas strode through the crowded great hall, ignoring everyone who spoke to him. He didn’t usually tremble and he never wept. That he had done both in the past several hours was surely a sign that things were gravely amiss in his life. All the more reason to put those things—or that one thing named Jennifer McKinnon—behind him as quickly as possible.

He would go back to Wyckham and help Petter. Stone masonry was a goodly work. He could spend a pair of years rebuilding his castle, then turn his mind back to the things he’d been considering when a certain red-haired angel had dropped into his life and turned it upside down: grumbling whilst going to fat in his chair before the fire, complaining about the rain, grousing about the fare.

Aye, a future to look forward to indeed.

He loped down the steps and walked swiftly across the courtyard to the stables. He considered, then decided he would saddle the Black. After all, his father had given him to him and it was past time the beast was taught a few manners. Nicholas took the saddle from his other mount’s stall and slung it over the Black’s door, just to let him know what was coming and that Nicholas had no intention of running away from the confrontation.

He paused.

It didn’t set well with him that’d he done just that with Jennifer, but damnation, what else was he to do? Watch her disappear? Turn and wave at him before she—

“What are you doing?”

Nicholas put his hands on the saddle to steady them. “Why do you care?”

“I suspected you were on the verge of making a complete fool of yourself, so I came to rescue you. From yourself, apparently.”

“Go away,” Nicholas said flatly.

“Nick,” Robin said sharply, “what are you doing?”

Nicholas looked at his brother. “I am leaving before I have to watch her leave.”

“Brave of you.”

“I don’t want her to make a choice she’ll regret,” Nicholas growled. “I’m thinking of her.”

Robin snorted. “Of course you are. So kind, so thoughtful. Such a bloody great display of chivalry —”

Nicholas couldn’t help himself. He punched his brother in the face. Why Robin wasn’t expecting it, he didn’t know.

It took quite some time before his fury was expended, but by then, he felt as if his horse had kicked him in the gut. He lay on the hay-strewn floor of the stable, staring up at the ceiling, and concentrated only on breathing. That was task enough for the present.

“Why do you think she’ll go back?” Robin asked, hunched over on all fours next to him.

Nicholas sat up with a groan. “Because she is an angel, she plays an instrument made for an angel, and I won’t be the one to take that away from her.”

“You idiot,” Robin said. “Why do you think it’s your choice? Have you considered that she might want to stay?”

Nicholas looked at him grimly. “You didn’t hear her.”

“Actually, I did,” Robin said. “I came to the bottom of the stairs to check on you and heard her up in the tower chamber. It was ... well, I’ve no words for it. But music is fleeting, brother.” He looked at Nicholas seriously. ”Love lasts forever.”

“And if I die?” Nicholas asked with a wince. “What do I leave her then?”

“Saints, Nick, you’re richer than the bloody king. Fix your damned hall, or move to France. Buy her beautiful fabric, give her wonderful children, import musicians and artists until you’re sick of tripping over them. If all you give her is a year of bliss, then she won’t curse you. Chances are you’ll live longer than Grandmère and by your end, she’ll be longing for you to lay your moldy self down in your grave.”

Nicholas considered, then shook his head. “I dare not.”

Robin blew out his breath in frustration. “Then you deserve every moment of misery you’ll experience during every day of what will no doubt be an unnaturally long life. I, for one, will refuse to listen to you complain. I will also refuse to brawl with you ever again.” He heaved himself to his feet and looked down. “I don’t know what’s happened to you. The brother I grew to manhood with and loved more than my own sweet self never would have sat in the bloody hay and given up.” He walked away.

“I haven’t given up,” Nicholas bellowed after him.

“Of course you have, you coward. Oh,” Robin said. “Finally. Help has arrived. You deal with him.”

“Why?”

Nicholas closed his eyes briefly. It was Amanda.

“Because he’s made an arse of himself and I can’t watch anymore. You’ll have to ask him what he plans to do next.”

“I will indeed,” Amanda said, sounding interested. “But first tell me what he’s done already.”

“He’s run away.”

“I did not run away,” Nicholas said, crawling to his feet with another groan and turning around. “I am allowing Jennifer to return to the life she should have.”

“Perhaps she doesn’t want that life!” Robin exclaimed. He threw up his hands. “I can’t talk to him.”

“It looks as though your fists have tried,” Jake remarked.

“Aye, but they lost patience as well.”

Nicholas watched Robin walk from the stables, cursing loudly. He turned to look at his sister and her husband. Amanda was regarding him thoughtfully. Nicholas scowled at her.

“What?” he snapped.

She pursed her lips. “You needn’t snarl at me. I’m not the one who just made an arse of myself. And what do you mean, you’re allowing her to return? Did you send her away?”

“Nay,” Nicholas said darkly. “I told her that I wanted nothing to do with her.”

“Nicholas,” Amanda said faintly. “Have you lost all sense?”

Nicholas looked at his sister bleakly. “I can’t watch her leave, Mandy, and I know she will.”

Jake shook his head. “What a waste,” he said. “And here I spent the past week making you a ring.” He opened his hand.

Nicholas, against his better judgment, walked over to look. He took the ring from his brother-in-law and caught his breath at the sight.

“Medieval tools,” Jake said quietly, “but modem gems. I’m still working on my technique.”

“The saints preserve us all if you find any more of it than you have already,” Nicholas said with feeling. “ ’Tis perfect as it stands.”

And it was.

Diamonds and rubies—that much Nicholas had learned at Jake’s table. The stones were square, set in gold, and went all the way around the ring, like a flame that burned forever. It was so perfectly Jennifer, so sparkling and fiery, that Nicholas almost couldn’t see it for the sudden mist in his eyes.

He looked up at Jake and found that he had nothing at all to say.

“Like it?” Jake asked.

Nicholas blinked, hard. “Aye. Very much. What do I owe you for it?”

“Nothing,” Jake said. “Brotherly affection and all that.”

Nicholas smiled and bent his head. “Thank you. It’s exquisite.”

“Yes, it is,” Jake said. “Now, give it back, since you apparently don’t have a use for it.”

Nicholas felt his eyes narrow of their own accord. He found that his fists were clenched and he had no memory of clenching them.

“Nay!” Amanda said quickly. “Not you two as well. Nicky, stop being a fool. Don’t you love her?”

He sighed and dragged his hand through his hair. “Aye.”

“Then, imbecile, go and propose to her. What are you waiting for?”

He looked at Amanda, pained beyond measure. “She can go home,” he said quietly. “Home to the Future.”

“So could Jake, at any moment. But he doesn’t because he loves me. Why is it so impossible to believe that your Jennifer could feel the same way about you?”

“You didn’t hear her play her violin,” he began, but he looked down at the ring in his palm and considered truly for the first time just what Jake had given up. He’d seen some of the baubles Jake had made in his time and brought back to give to the ladies of Artane. He had to look no farther than Amanda’s ring, which was so beautiful, it hurt the eyes to gaze on it overmuch, to see what Jake had traded for Amanda.

He looked at his brother-in-law and took a deep breath. “I shouldn’t ask this with my sister standing here—”

“No, you shouldn’t,” Jake said with a smile, “but you could because the answer would be the same if she weren’t. No, I don’t miss anything. Well, outside of indoor plumbing, but I’m working on that.” He put his arm around Amanda. “I would do it all over again a million times and count myself the most fortunate of men every time.”

“Jennifer will lose her family,” Nicholas said quietly.

“And gain one with you,” Amanda said, reaching out to put her hand on his arm. “Nicky, why don’t you just go ask her what she wants to do? What have you to lose but your pride?”

“I don’t have any pride left.”

“Apparently you do, or you would have proposed already,” Jake said dryly.

Nicholas sighed, then looked at Amanda. “Is my face bruised?”

“Not overmuch, thankfully,” she said. She reached up and picked hay out of his hair, then brushed it with her fingers. “There you are,. freshly groomed and ready to ask for her hand.”

Nicholas stood there for another moment or two, then smiled at his sister. “Thank you.”

“My pleasure,” she said softly. “Now, beat it.”

“Beat it?”

Jake laughed. “It means get on with it. Nick, there really are a few words you should learn if you’re going to be married to that girl.”

Nicholas found that he could smile. “Aye,” he said. “I suppose so.”

He kissed Amanda on the cheek, clapped a hand on Jake’s shoulder, then hurried back toward the hall. Aye, he would rush back upstairs and hope Jennifer was still there where he could fall to his knees and grovel properly in private. He would tell her that he adored her, promise her untold luxuries, and hope to hell she would be willing to give up everything she had to stay behind with him.

He ran up the steps, had to rest for a moment and damn his brother for so many fists to the ribs, then pushed open the hall doors and strode inside.

And then he came to a skidding halt.

The hall was, not unexpectedly, full of his grandmother’s offerings. They were also, unfortunately, all at table, leaving him a very large space in the middle of the hall that he would have to cross on his way to the stairs.

And they were all looking at him.

He started inside only to realize that he wasn’t going to have to go all that far.

Jennifer was walking out of the stairwell.

He realized the precise moment she caught sight of him because she froze in place. He couldn’t decide if she was pleased to see him or sorry because now he would disrupt her flight toward Jake’s time gate.

He decided, suddenly, that it was perhaps better if he just didn’t think at all.

He cast caution and pride to the wind and strode across the hall toward her. He stopped in front of the lord’s table, a pace away from her. He wanted to drop to his knees right there, but he wasn’t sure he dared, so he simply stood there and looked at her.

“My lady,” he managed.

She returned his look, her expression very grave. “My lord,” she said softly.

“Ah,” Nicholas began, then he fell silent. He could feel every eye in the hall fixed upon him. He took a deep breath, but that did not aid him.

“I thought you were leaving,” Jennifer said quietly.

Well, that was something he could address easily enough. “I am,” he said distinctly, “a horse’s arse.”

She tilted her head and studied him. “Are you?”

He winced. “I should just hand you my sword and invite you to use it.”

She almost smiled. “That seems a little counterproductive, doesn’t it? I don’t think I want you dead.”

“Do you want me at all?” he said quietly.

She clasped her hands in front of her. “I could ask you the same question, couldn’t I?”

He swallowed with an alarming amount of difficulty. What he wanted to do was haul her into his arms. Whether she would want him to was something he couldn’t guess. He took a deep breath and supposed all he could do was begin at the beginning.

“Forgive me,” he said.

“What terrible thing did you do?” she asked.

“I lied to you.”

“Well, yes, I suppose,” she agreed. “In a way, though no more than I did to you.” She paused.“You also yelled at me.”

He closed his eyes briefly, then looked at her. “I will never do either again.”

“Forgiven,” she said.

He looked at her in surprise. “So easily?”

“I’m not one for holding grudges. But you could tell me why you did it.” She paused. “You could tell me why you did quite a few things, actually, but I suppose this isn’t really the place for it.”

“Likely not, since the answers you’ll want require privacy,” he agreed.

She looked at him for a moment or two in silence, then smiled. “Well? Are we going somewhere to talk?”

He considered, then shook his head. “Nay, I think not.”

“You think not?”

“I want to ask you something.”

“What? To agree to another fortnight, now that all the secrets are out?”

“Nay.”

She blinked in surprise. “Really?”

He took a deep breath. “I daresay, my love, that a,fortnight won’t suffice.”

“Really,” she repeated, sounding a little breathless,

He looked about him, just to see how many witnesses he might have for what he was about to do. There were all his grandmother’s ladies, of course, with their parents. Some of them were standing, gaping. The rest were whispering frantically. There were a few mothers weeping already.

He supposed those weren’t tears of happiness.

Nicholas looked at the high table. His entire family was there. His father, his mother, his grandmother, his brothers and Isabelle. Jake and Amanda had come inside and were standing with their daughter. Even Jennifer’s kin, Connor and Victoria, were watching.

Those souls, at least, were smiling.

Nicholas turned back to his lady. He took a step backward, started to bend down, then winced.

“What happened to you?” she asked.

“Robin,” he gasped, putting his hand to his side. “Bruised ribs.”

“I’ll kill him later.”

He shot her a brief smile, then went down fully on one knee, gasping at the pain. When he could see again, he reached out and took her hands.

Her ring clinked on the stone.

“Damnation,” he said. He found it, fortunately, without having to dig through too many rushes, then he looked up at her. “Now, I’ll try this again.”

She was smiling as tears streamed down her cheeks. “Try what again?” she asked.

“Something that I would really prefer to do in private and I imagine I will when the rabble is cleared from the hall. Something I should have done in the tower chamber an hour ago. Something I should have done the very moment I saw you.” He looked up at her seriously. “I know what you will give up for me if you say me yea. I know I am selfish to ask it of you—”

“Why don’t you just ask me whatever it is you’re going to ask and let me decide that?” she said softly.

“I vow I will see that it is worth it,” he promised.

“Did I ever tell you that you talk too much?”

He managed a laugh. “I’ll be about my business, then. Now, what are all your names? I’d best get that part right or your sister will make it known.”

“There’s a MacLeod in the middle there,” she said with a smile. “And you’re right. Vic will tell on you.”

He bent his head and kissed her hands, then looked up into her glorious eyes that were full of tears. “Jennifer MacLeod McKinnon,” he said loudly, “here before this company, I pledge myself to you, vow to shield you with my body and my name, and ask you to plight your troth with me.” He paused. “Will you?”

“Aye,” she said, just as loudly.

Then she smiled and hauled him back up to his feet.

He got there with a gasp, which was covered nicely by the amount of noise his family was making. Cheers, clapping, whistling: there was not a smidgen of dignity to spread between the lot of them. Nicholas noted that the rest of the hall was clapping politely, but that clapping wasn’t enough to cover the howls of outrage from his grandmother’s offerings.

He wondered if he and Jennifer should retreat to his father’s solar and bolt the door.

But instead, he did what he had been longing to do for a solid se’nnight. He pulled Jennifer into his arms in front of the entire company and, as she would have said, kissed her silly.

She finally pulled away from him laughing, then hugged him so tightly that he gasped again, in spite of himself.

“Did he have to break your ribs to bring you to your senses?” she asked in surprise.

“I would have gotten there eventually on my own,” he wheezed. “Robin just sped up my thinking. I suppose ’tis fitting, since I did the same for him once upon a time.”

She looked up at him and smiled. “Did you really just ask me to marry you?”

“Let us retire somewhere private and I’ll ask again,” he said. “I might spend the rest of the evening asking you in a dozen different ways. Then I’ll tell you all the reasons I love you and all the things I’ll do so you don’t regret having stayed with me.”

“Don’t I have to do anything in this relationship?” she asked wryly.

“Love me in return,” he said, bending his head to kiss her again. “Play for me,” he whispered against her mouth. “Forgive me.”

“I already forgave you,” she said honestly. “I think I understand.”

“Do you?” he asked with a smile. “That I loved you from the moment I set eyes on you and that the thought of you leaving fair killed me?”

“Something like that,” she said with a smile of her own. “Tell me again later, when I’ll remember what you’ve said. I don’t think I’ll remember anything now.”

“Remember that I love you,” he said. “For now, perhaps we might sit at the table together. Think you?”

“Ask your grandmother.”

He put his arm around her and led her behind the high table. He stopped behind his grandmother who turned around to look at him with raised eyebrows.

“Aye?” she said, a smile playing around her mouth.

“I wooed her in plain sight. I bloody well asked her to wed me in plain sight. Now may I sit with her at the damned table?”

Joanna’s eyes brimmed suddenly with tears. She stood up and hugged the half of him where Jennifer wasn’t standing. “Well done, Nicky, my love,” she said. “Well done, indeed.”

Then she pinched his ear.

He pulled back with a scowl. “What was that for?”

“For making her cry, whelp. Best spend the rest of your days making up for it.” She slid a pointed look down the table. “And you’d best go see if her sister’s husband will allow it. I don’t imagine you asked his permission, did you?”

Nicholas wished his side didn’t hurt so damned much. He looked down at Jennifer. “Why do I suspect he’ll want to meet me in the lists to settle this?”

“Because I imagine he’ll take any excuse to cross blades with a legend.”

Nicholas sighed and led her over to where Connor MacDougal was now standing behind Victoria’s chair. Victoria’s expression was one of satisfaction. Connor’s wasn’t.

Nicholas made him a low bow, catching his breath as he did so. He straightened, winced, then looked at Jennifer’s brother-in-law.

“Since her sire is not here, I should have accorded you the respect due him and asked your leave before I asked for her hand.”

Connor folded his arms over his chest and frowned a most impressive frown. “Aye,” he said with a curt nod, “I daresay ye should have.”

“I’m asking now.”

“I’ll leave my answer until I’ve seen ye in the lists. Dawn suits me.”

Nicholas nodded gravely.

“But ye can take yer ease with her tonight,” Connor conceded. “You might not be able to on the morrow.”

Nicholas didn’t dare smile; he suspected Connor was all too serious about that. So he made him a small bow, then turned to Victoria. She was almost smiling.

“You didn’t ask me anything,” she said pointedly.

“Your mother is rather whom I should be questioning,” Nicholas said with another hitching bow.

“Why?”

“I would ask her how she managed to produce two such exquisite daughters.”

Victoria gaped at him, then laughed. “Oh, Jenner, he’s good.”

Jennifer tugged on his hand. “Stop. It’ll go to her head. Nicholas, I’d like to sit down now between you and my sister.”

Nicholas stood back and watched as Robin went about settling everyone into new places. He caught his brother’s eye in passing. Robin only winked. Nicholas soon found himself standing next to his sire.

“Well?” Nicholas asked.

His father clapped him on the shoulder. “Congratulations.”

“Thank you.” He smiled gravely at his sire. “And my thanks for your wise words, as well.”

“I’ll continue to offer my support as chaperon until you’re wed,” Rhys said smoothly.

Nicholas opened his mouth to protest, then caught sight of the twinkle in his father’s eye. Rhys laughed, clapped him on the shoulder, then moved out of the way to make room for his family, who seemed to be determined to swarm his love.

Nicholas realized then that he was holding Jennifer’s ring in his hand. He waited until all his family had taken an inordinate amount of time to either congratulate her, or, in the case of his elder brother, offer her condolences. Nicholas shoved Robin out of the way before he warmed overmuch to his topic, sat down next to her, and smiled.

“Finally.”

She smiled. “I couldn’t agree more.”

“I have something for you.”

“More than your heart?”

He slid the ring onto her finger. Her reaction was all he could have wished for. She looked up at him, clearly stunned.

“It’s gorgeous.”

“I should have saved it for the ceremony, but I’ve already dropped it once. You’d better keep it.” He looked down at the ring on her finger, then saw that she was looking at it with tears in her eyes. “What is it, love?”

“When did you do this?”

“I asked Jake to make it for me when I was there,” he admitted. He stared down at it for a moment, then back up at her. “I hoped.”

“Didn’t you know?” she murmured gently.

He shook his head, then lifted her hand to kiss it. “We must have speech together,” he said quietly. “About a great many things.”

“Later,” she suggested. “Perhaps a very long walk along the shore with just us two.”

“If Connor MacDougal leaves anything of me, we’ll do it tomorrow,” he said with a smile. “But tonight, perhaps we might retreat to my father’s solar with your family and mine and simply be at peace.”

She nodded, her eyes sparkling with tears. “Yes.”

He suspected that she would grieve that her parents weren’t there, as well as her other sister and brother. He sighed to himself. There were things that he would never be able to ease for her, things he could never make up.

But he would try, just the same.

He found that he simply couldn’t look away from her. He supposed in time they would both digest the events of the day, discuss what had been said in the tower chamber, come to their own peace about it all. For now, he was simply grateful she had said him aye.

And that he could hold her hand on top of the table for a change.