Page 77 of West Bound

“No. I suppose not. But I can blame you.” Dakota didn’t know me then, but he did.

“I told you what your father did to my family.” Then his face falters like he’s just processed what I’ve said. “You can forgive her, but not me?”

“You knew me. You spent time with me. You honestly thought I’d work for a man like that?”

“I didn’t know you. As evidenced by the fact I let my guard down just in time for you to drug and burn me.”

“I apologized for that!”

“And I’ve forgiven you, but there’s a big difference between then and now.”

“Is there? Or are these just more of your mind games to lure me in? Take advantage of the confused nun who can’t decide what she wants to make sure she stays in line with your plan. Seeing you with her…” I trail off, waiting for him to give me an explanation.

“I don’t have the energy for those kinds of games. I told Dakota and Charlotte as much when they suggested it. I’m terrible at it.”

“Well, you certainly know how to muck it up, considering you’re making plans to have sex with someone else right in front of me.” I turn to get away from him because I can feel tears claw at the back of my throat, and I refuse to let him see me cry under these circumstances. I might not have much pride left at this point, but what little I do have, I plan to hold on to for dear life.

He sighs, frustrated with himself or with me, I’m not sure, but an apology follows all the same.

“No one’s making plans. I’m sorry I did that to you at the convent, but I’ve been honest with you since. Even when it was painful.”

“I shouldn’t have said anything.” I don’t know if I can believe him, and this fight is pointless. I should have kept my thoughts to myself. He might be sincere, but he’d likely say the same thing if he were just trying to weasel out of this. Either way, I feel silly for reacting so strongly when he’s being so calm.

“No, you should have. I want to know if that’s where your head is at so I can make sure you know that, however things started, that’s not the way it is now.”

“Right.” I have to suppress my tone. I want to believe him—so badly. But these are the same kind of lies I was fed before. He didn’t mean it. It was an accident. That was then, and this is now.

I don’t have the stomach for it with Levi though. I trusted him, wholeheartedly. Stupidly, it seems. I just want to be back at the cabin and feel silly in private.

“If you just want to drop me off at the cabin. I don’t want to be an impediment.”

“Zephyrine.” He reaches out for me, but I pull back.

“Who does she think I am to you, anyway? I doubt you’ve told her you’re holding me captive.”

“I haven’t.” His brows knit together. “She doesn’t ask questions. She knows better than that on this ranch.”

“Right. I suppose I should learn that rule as well.”

For all the time I've spent around men who play these games, I've never gotten good enough at them myself. I've gone along with my father’s plans, however much I hated them, capitulating before I ever really put up a fight. Then I retreated to the convent, forfeiting my life, instead of trying to beat Corey at his game. Now I'll lose another to Levi and the Stocktons.

“Are you trying to piss me off for some reason? I thought we were being straight with each other these days.” I see the muscle in his jaw tick, and his eyes narrow behind his glasses.

“Excuse me?”

“I told you there’s nothing going on with Millie. I told you the truth about how things started. I apologized. Yet you still seem determined to have it out over this.”

“Just because you apologize doesn’t mean the other person has to accept your apology.”

“And you don’t?” His brow lifts.

“I don’t. I also don’t know that I believe you about Millie. I can’t think of another reason the two of you would be giggling and leaning in to talk to one another.” They looked like two sweethearts together from where I was standing, and I have a hard time finding another reason. Especially when he won’t tell me plainly.

“Christ. We weren’t giggling.”

“She was.”

“Butweweren’t.”