Page 33 of Wedlock (Vampire Bachelor Games #3)

Reaching my room I lean against the outside of the door and put my hand to my pounding heart, my face still flaming.

Being in such close proximity to him now that my mind is free had been confusing, frustrating, exciting, terrible and wonderful all at once.

When he’d kissed me I’d almost lost myself to him.

Part of me wanted to open my mouth to his warm, familiar lips and beg him to start all over again, to forget everything that had gone before, to ask if he still loved me as Eleanor claimed he did and always would.

But the other part of me wanted to torture him for all the terrible things he’d said and done to me from the first day we’d left The Games.

To detonate his heart the way he’d shattered mine into tiny, tiny pieces day in and day out, one chip at a time.

Instead, I’d fought his advance because I know it’s way too late for either of those options now that the Princess is in the picture.

‘But why did he kiss me? Why touch my neck with such tenderness? Such concern? ’

I shake my head and try to stop thinking about his mercurial actions.

His words had told me everything I needed to know.

He can’t forgive me for sleeping with Jag, thrall or no thrall.

And as for mitigating what Jag did, Falcon was right, I had no actual proof that Viper and Spider were linked, other than Asumpta and Tatyana, and even that was tenuous.

Of course, I could have thrown Asumpta under the bus, told him that she knew all along about the obedience bite and was working with Viper, but if I did that I would definitely have no way of ever escaping this castle.

Right now I figure I hold an ace up my sleeve by not mentioning her involvement.

Also, I’m not sure how it would go over with Eleanor, with whom I’m also playing my cards close to my chest on the very slim off-chance she might help me get out of here.

Either way, given that I wasn’t going to divulge that information, I should have left when he told me to.

I was pushing him and baiting him, and I knew I took it too far and strayed from the topic at hand.

But he made me so angry, there was so much to say, so much else to tell him.

And once I was in the room with him, I didn’t want to leave.

Yet his arrogant stance, his hard glare, his assertion that he needed more ‘time’ when time was the last thing any of us had, me especially, had made me so furious I couldn’t hold the words back.

But I hadn’t said the words that I’d been thinking for so long, but was unable to say.

‘Words like: I love you. Loved you. Hate you. Hated you. Needed you, need you, wanted you, want you…’ So many words.’

Pressing my hands to my face I take a deep breath and step into my bedroom.

It’s time to feed the baby again, even though my skin is punctured and my flesh bruised from his feeding this morning, and I still feel weak from loss of blood.

Now that I’m no longer under an obedience bite I’m a regular human once again and not healing like I had been.

But there’s no help for it. My baby needs my milk and blood.

‘Will need it for three years.’

I frown as I walk to the nanny, already waiting in my room for me, and take the baby, my mind flicking back to my conversation with Asumpta. I still have no real answers as to why I need to breastfeed for three years, other than her cryptic reply, which had made no sense.

The nanny hands me the baby, curtsies and leaves.

As requested, she leaves the door open. I can’t stand being shut in this room any longer, and it’s also a reminder to her not to accidentally lock me in as she did last night.

She’d apologised profusely, but it’s not a chance I’m willing to take again.

I need to be free now, free to pursue my plans.

Almost on autopilot, I sit, stifling a gasp as I put him to my breast. Gazing into the flames of the fireplace I think over what I must do next and try not to concentrate on the pain.

I’d told Yin not to answer any correspondence from me at all, ever, because I might still be under Viper’s thrall.

But now that he was dead, perhaps The Free Men would learn of his demise and pass that information on.

Then Yin might be able to help me escape.

It would be helpful if I could pinpoint who’d killed Viper, but apart from a feeling Jag had done it, I actually have no proof he had.

Eleanor said she didn’t know how he’d come upon the information that I was under a thrall, and none of us knew if he’d then pursued Viper and destroyed him.

I thank God for small mercies that Jag had the sense not to reveal that my family knew about the bite.

‘Even then, even when his heart must have been breaking, he’d protected me.’

I shake my head at the thought and continue mulling over all I know.

None of us knew where Viper had been hanging out, although I did have the image I’d seen right before he’d died. The trees, the landscape. Maybe someone, someone close to him, might know where that was…and if so, I could point Yin to his body.

“I have to go see Asumpta,” I whisper to my son.

“Asumpta?” Eleanor asks from the doorway. “Why on earth would you need to see my stepdaughter?”