Page 9 of We Were Meant to Burn (Ashes and Ruin Saga #1)

The next morning, I woke to the sound of hushed arguing. Instinct had me motionless before I even had time to think. My breathing stayed slow and even, my body limp in the bedroll, but my ears honed in on every syllable spilling from their mouths.

The mercenaries gathered near the cave entrance, their voices low, but not low enough.

Malakai stood against the cave wall, arms crossed over his chest, the very picture of indifference. His head tilted back, eyes half-lidded, like this conversation was a waste of his time. I didn’t trust it. The man was too perceptive for that kind of carelessness. He wanted them to think he wasn’t listening.

Kerun, the little brat, was practically vibrating with malice.

"I say we dump her with the birdbrains who paid us to free her,”

he hissed, sending a glare in my direction that might’ve been threatening if it weren’t coming from someone barely old enough to shave.

Malakai’s head snapped toward him so fast I half expected the kid to spontaneously combust.

"Watch yourself, young man,”

he said, voice low, quiet. A warning.

Then Dom, ever the delightful morning companion, chimed in.

"I say kill her in her sleep.”

Cold steel slid through my ribs at the words, sharp and jagged, but my face didn’t so much as twitch.

I should’ve left last night. Damn my plan. Damn my patience. The time was now.

I reached for my magic, that steady, burning force that had always been there. It should’ve roared to life, should’ve coiled around me in a protective blaze that no one—not Malakai, not Dom, not the entire damn Aguatitlan army—could touch. Instead, I found nothing. An empty void where my power should be.

I swallowed hard, fingers creeping up to the cold metal collar biting into my neck.

Curse the Aguatitlans and their wicked, bastardized tech. Curse myself for getting captured and letting them put this thing on me in the first place.

My breath stayed steady, but my pulse hammered against my ribs, desperate and insistent. I flicked my gaze to the cave, cataloging every potential weapon. My eyes landed on Lian’s bedroll. His weapons belt lay just within reach. A whittling knife rested beside it. Not ideal, but it was something.

If this was it—if this was how I died—then fine. But I wasn’t going down easy. And I sure as hell wasn’t going down without a fight.

I didn’t want to kill them. Not really. Especially not Lian. But if it came down to my life or theirs?

I’d choose me. Every damn time.

I inched my hand forward, fingers ghosting over the handle of the knife, careful not to make a sound, not to breathe too loud, not to exist more than I already had.

Lian stepped forward, brows knit together in worry.

"Come now. We don’t have to be killing anyone. I say we just pack up, leave her here, and be on our way.”

Finally, someone with a little self-restraint.

“This isn’t a discussion,”

Malakai cut in, his tone sharp as a blade.

"We’ve been paid already. We’re finishing the job.”

Dom let out a low hiss, like an animal about to bite.

"How can you say that?”

His face twisted with anger—no, betrayal.

"If you knew who she was when you took the job, you wouldn’t have taken it.”

Malakai’s gaze dropped to the ground, his cheeks darkening with something dangerously close to guilt.

Dom took a step back, his chest rising and falling in ragged bursts.

"You did know.”

He shook his head like he could knock the thought loose.

"You knew, but you took it anyway.”

Malakai didn’t argue. Didn’t try to deny it. He just stood there, chewing the inside of his cheek, watching Dom like he was waiting for him to snap.

Dom didn’t disappoint.

With a growl, the big mercenary lunged, fisting Malakai’s shirt and yanking him close, so close I could see the muscles in his arms straining to keep from just breaking the Hada in two.

"You knew this whole time and didn’t think we deserved to know? Didn’t think I deserved to know?”

His voice was a low, dangerous thing, the kind of voice that preceded a body hitting the ground.

Elías, apparently on a mission to keep them from tearing each other apart before breakfast, wedged himself between them, pressing a hand to each of their chests.

"You’re upset. I get that.”

He flashed that easy grin of his, the one that probably got him out of trouble more times than not.

"But I say Mal made the right call. We’ve been paid a lot of tenos, and if you had it your way, Dom, we’d be missing out.”

Dom shoved Malakai away with a curse, fists clenched at his sides, but Elías kept going, either too brave or too stupid to stop.

"Besides, look at her,”

he said, tossing a glance my way.

"I’m not even sure we picked up the right girl. She’s all fragile and stuff. Not exactly Nightshade material, if you catch my drift. Plus, you had no problem with her last night. Heavens, if Li-Li hadn’t told us, you’d probably be flirting with her by sundown.”

Lian groaned into his hands, clearly regretting every life choice that had led him to this moment. Malakai cringed, which said a lot, considering he was the guy currently on Dom’s shit list.

Dom turned on Elías so fast, the blabbermouth actually stumbled back a step.

"I would never degrade myself that way,”

he spat. His broad frame loomed over Elías, throwing him in shadow.

"Do you even know what she is?”

Not who. What.

Like I wasn’t a person. Like I was just a thing. A weapon. A monster.

Which—fine. Maybe I was. Maybe that’s all I had ever been. A tool for Mother to use, a blade to sharpen, a mask to slip on and off until I forgot what my real face even looked like.

Shame curled through me like smoke, thick and suffocating, but I swallowed it down. It didn’t matter. It never mattered.

“I won’t do it,”

Dom growled, shoving his bedroll into his pack with jerky, angry movements.

"You’re lucky I haven’t killed her in her sleep yet.”

He said it like it was a favor.

Like I should be grateful.

I’d heard enough.

I shoved to my feet, ignoring the sharp protest of my muscles, the dull throb of exhaustion that had settled into my bones like an old tenant. My fingers curled tightly around the ebony knife as I lifted my fists, slipping into a fighting stance.

“I’d like to see you try.”

The group snapped toward me like a pack of dogs caught mid-snarl. Malakai’s eyes went wide, surprise flickering behind that cold, calculating stare. Maybe even a sliver of admiration, though I wasn’t stupid enough to let that mean anything.

Dom, on the other hand, didn’t waste time being impressed. His hand flew to the hatchet at his hip, fingers tightening around the handle, his whole body coiled like a spring ready to snap.

“Enough,”

Malakai thundered, his voice reverberating through the cave walls. He exhaled sharply, his patience wearing thinner than stretched wire. With a practiced motion, he yanked the hatchet clean out of Dom’s grip.

Dom’s head snapped up, his expression caught between betrayal and rage.

"If she stays, then I go,”

he snarled.

Malakai rolled his eyes.

"No. You won’t.”

The words landed like a slap, final and absolute. Dom’s nostrils flared, his jaw grinding so hard I could hear his teeth creak.

Malakai turned to me, stepping in front of Dom, blocking me from view like I needed protecting.

"Don’t pay Dom any attention,”

he said, voice smooth but eyes sharp, waiting for me to lower the knife.

"He won’t hurt you.”

I didn’t budge.

I kept my grip steady, my stance firm. I’d learned the hard way that trust was a fool’s game.

Malakai turned his attention back to the others, his face carved from adamas.

"We’re finishing the job, and that’s final.”

His violet eyes landed on Dom like the weight of a hammer.

"All of us.”

Dom let out a feral growl and turned on his heel, stomping out of the cave. Malakai hesitated a moment before sighing and following after him, running a hand through his silver hair like it might hold all the answers he was looking for.

The rest of the crew exchanged wary glances before turning their attention back to their gear, avoiding me like I carried a plague. Lian muttered something to Kerun and elbowed him when he kept staring, sending him scurrying toward the cave entrance. Even Elías, who’d spent half the trip running his mouth and teasing me, kept his movements measured, careful not to brush too close.

I exhaled slowly through my nose, forcing the tension from my shoulders.

It was better this way.

At least now they knew.

Now they understood the kind of thing that walked among them. The danger I posed. The truth of what I was.

But something about the way Lian wouldn’t meet my eyes, the way Elías moved around me like I might snap his neck for bumping my shoulder, scraped against my ribs like an itch I couldn’t reach.

For a fleeting moment, I had tasted something close to normal.

I’d almost let myself believe I could have it.

Stupid.

Silly.

Deep down, I knew better. I didn’t deserve anything less than fear. I was what Mother had made me—sharpened, honed, and carved out of blood and violence.

With a heavy heart, I slipped into the shadows, watching them from the dark as they packed up camp.

Over the next hour, the mercenaries fell into an easy rhythm—shaving, packing, stuffing their faces with dried meat and fresh fruit like they weren’t being hunted by an entire kingdom.

Kerun, the walking temper tantrum, returned from whatever sulk-hole he’d crawled into, only to throw another fit when Lian shoved him toward the passage leading to the spring.

The kid despised baths like they were personal insults, threatening to stuff Lian’s pack with rocks if he was forced to scrub off the stink.

Lian, entirely unimpressed, dragged him off by the scruff like an annoyed older brother.

When Kerun emerged, he looked like a half-drowned alley cat that had survived an attempted murder and was now plotting revenge.

His black hair stuck out in every direction, a tangled bird’s nest of rage, and he scowled daggers at Lian’s back the entire time he wrung water from his sleeves.

I guessed that the little hell-beast had refused to get in on his own, so Lian had taken victory any way he could get it and dunked the kid into the water fully clothed.

Not long after, Malakai swept back into the cave, moving like a storm rolling in.

Dom followed, radiating pure bitterness, his scowl etched so deep it looked like it had been carved in adamas.

“Gear up,”

Malakai barked, already strapping weapons onto himself like he was preparing to take on an entire army.

His bow rested crosswise over his shoulders, a quiver of arrows slung over one arm.

A long sword hung from his hip, thick metal bands encased his forearms, and his chest plate gleamed with rounded studs, more than enough to deflect a blade—or a bullet.

His silver hair was an unruly mess, like he’d spent the better part of the morning running his hands through it in frustration.

Probably thanks to Dom.

The others followed suit, strapping on enough weaponry to look like they were marching to war.

Elías, ever the peacock, wore a pair of sleek silver pistols slung low on his hips and a mint-colored sash cinched around his waist, as if he were strolling into a festival, not potential combat.

A bandolier draped across his chest, each leather strap packed with throwing knives.

My fingers twitched just looking at them.

If I had to pick between throwing knives and sweet bread, I’d pick the knives every time.

Lian strapped a back sheath across his lean frame, twin curved swords nestled inside.

Even Kerun, the brat, was loaded up—a bow slung over his shoulders, a short sword at his waist, and a gun holstered in his vest.

Dom, predictably, positioned himself at the entrance of the cave like a human barricade.

He wore his hatchet at his hip, a pistol strapped to his right boot, and a look on his face that said he’d rather bite down on glass than follow Malakai’s orders.

He stood there, arms crossed, silent and seething, his glare tracking Malakai’s every move like a predator waiting for an opening.

And then there was me.

Barely clothed, still collared, and armed with nothing but a single knife and a bad attitude.

Not ideal, but at least I wasn’t completely helpless. Though with my luck, I’d probably roll my ankle and stab myself before I got the chance to use it on anyone.

Fantastic.

Malakai motioned forward like he was leading a royal procession instead of a group of sleep-deprived, heavily armed mercenaries through the jungle.

"Move out; we have a lot of ground to cover.”

His crew slung their packs over their shoulders, tightening straps and double-checking weapons.

Every one of them moved with the efficiency of people who had done this a thousand times before.

The jungle swallowed us whole.

The thick canopy choked out the sun, leaving everything in a perpetual twilight.

The air buzzed with the sound of insects and rustling leaves, toucans singing somewhere overhead, their calls blending into the heavy atmosphere.

I could feel the moisture clinging to my skin, making my clothes stick uncomfortably to my body.

Everything smelled like damp earth and rot.

The humidity was suffocating—so unlike the dry heat of Rojas, where sweat actually had the decency to evaporate instead of lingering like an unwanted guest.

Lian helped me keep pace as I caught up to Malakai. “So,”

I said, voice flat.

"How exactly are we getting to Tiepaz?”

Malakai barely spared me a glance as he adjusted the pack on his back.

"Mostly by foot.”

I stared at him, waiting.

Nothing.

Seriously?

“That’s it? That’s the master plan?”

I asked, deadpan.

He smirked.

"First, we reach Xica. Port city. About five months from here, if we don’t die on the way.”

Then, casually—too casually—his eyes dipped to my legs like they were ornamental twigs.

"Maybe longer. Depends.”

My jaw clenched.

"Depends on what?”

He stretched his arms overhead with a dramatic yawn, like this whole conversation was beneath him.

"How slow you are.”

The urge to trip him grew stronger by the second.

“Careful,”

I muttered.

"You might wake up one night missing teeth.”

Malakai just grinned.

"I’m willing to risk it.”

Five months. Five months of trudging through this nightmare of a jungle, constantly watching my back in case Dom decided to gut me in my sleep. Five months of sweating through my clothes, of Malakai’s insufferable commentary, of dealing with creatures lurking in the shadows that would love nothing more than to make me their next meal.

Nothing bad could come from any of that.

“You gonna be alright with that, love?”

Malakai grinned like he wanted me to punch him.

I fisted my hands at my sides.

"Call me love one more time—”

“I know, I know,”

he said, arms thrown lazily behind his head.

"You’ll mash my face in. Heard you the first time, sunshine.”

I ground my teeth so hard my molars ached.

Smug bastard.

Why did he have to look like sin incarnate when he was being insufferable?

My jaw locked. I wanted to strangle him. To hate him. But more than anything, a horrifying part of me wanted to take his sword and run him through with it.

That was the part of me I despised the most. The part that was too much like Mother. The part she had spent years cultivating, molding, and sharpening into a weapon that would never hesitate. A monster made to kill first, never question later.

Malakai’s grin widened.

"I’ll take my chances, love.”

Laughter rang through the trees, sharp and sudden, and I snapped my head up, instincts flaring. Were they laughing at me?

I was halfway to bracing for a fight when I caught sight of Elías, his arms flapping uselessly against Dom’s thick forearm, which was locked tight around his neck. The idiot was trapped in a headlock, legs kicking, face twisted in exaggerated agony while the others snickered.

Not about me, then.

Still, I didn’t trust any of them enough to let my guard drop, so I adjusted my pack and kept walking.

Malakai, ever the insufferable leader, stepped over a fallen log like he was out for a pleasant morning stroll.

“I’ll admit, it’s not the funnest path,”

he said, tone maddeningly casual for someone escorting a wanted criminal.

"Nothing like a bunch of beasties hounding our heels at night.”

Beasties. That’s what he called them. Like they were mischievous little spirits pulling pranks instead of creatures with too many teeth and a fondness for human flesh.

The Aguatitlans feared magic, but even they avoided these trees. Rumor had it that something ancient lurked here, asleep and waiting. No one wanted to be the idiot who woke it up.

“You don’t seem worried,”

I muttered, rolling my shoulders to keep the pack from digging into my skin. The air was thick and sticky, drenched in the smell of wet leaves and damp earth. Sweat gathered at my temples, and I wiped it away with the back of my hand.

"Endrina is full of things that will want us dead.”

His lips curled into that slow, infuriating smile—half challenge, half promise.

“Not for me,”

he said, like the jungle itself wouldn’t dare touch him.

Arrogant, exasperating man!

He probably thought his mere presence was enough to ward off whatever nightmarish creatures were skulking through the underbrush.

It didn’t matter. I wasn’t staying with them long enough to find out. I just needed the right moment, the right window to slip away. A few days, maybe less. Get back to Rojas. Get back to Mother. Make things right.

I tightened my grip on my pack strap.

"What about the Aguatitlans?”

I asked, forcing my tone to stay casual.

"Aren’t you worried they’ll find us?”

Malakai shook his head, like the very idea was laughable.

"The Aguatitlans’ tech won’t work in Endrina. The magic here messes with their systems.”

He pulled something from his pocket and tossed it to me.

"Even the magnetism is off.”

I caught it, turning it over in my hands. A compass. The needle spun wildly, unable to settle. I frowned.

"Then how do you know where we’re going?”

He pointed toward the sky.

"Sun rises in the west and sets in the east. Even the stars are flipped. Like looking at them through a mirror.”

I handed the compass back, careful not to let my fingers brush his.

"So long as you know what’s backward, you can compensate.”

Malakai’s grin widened. “Exactly.”

Smug. Confident. Unbearably full of himself.

But useful.

And now I had another piece of the puzzle. If the jungle could disorient compasses and Aguatitlan tech, I’d have to rely on the stars when I ran. Good thing I had a habit of paying attention to things other people thought I shouldn’t.

I felt it before I saw it—the slow, insidious heat crawling across my chest, right over my marca. I glanced up and found Dom’s glare burning a hole through my skull. Evaluating. Measuring. Weighing the worth of putting his hatchet in my back.

My fingers twitched. My body answered before my mind caught up, my stance shifting, my chin tipping up in silent challenge.

What the hell was I doing?

The answer came, low and venomous, in Mother’s voice: Because it’s what you are.

I inhaled sharply, my pulse pounding against my ribs. No. I wouldn’t be that. I had to fight it. At least until I was sure of my surroundings. Until I was strong enough to make it on my own. I couldn’t let that part of me slip through my grasp. But doubt slithered in, coiling tight around my throat. You can’t fight what you are.

At my feet, a puddle of murky water rippled, distorting my reflection. Hollow eyes. Sharpened features. Something monstrous stared back at me.

I tore my gaze away.

I was dangerous. I knew that. Had known it since I first held a knife steady in my palm. But I couldn’t let myself slip. Not here. Not now. These men weren’t my enemies—not yet. They weren’t threats, just . . . temporary complications. And complications didn’t deserve my wrath.

Dom bared his teeth but fell back, slipping towards the back of the group. The tension in my shoulders didn’t ease.

“Don’t mind him,”

Malakai said, nudging my arm with that same maddening ease—like he thought he had permission to touch me, and worse, like part of me might let him.

"He’s a viper with no fangs. All my men are under strict orders not to kill you.”

The unspoken part sliced clean through the space between us. Unless you give them reason to.

I exhaled slowly, pretending I didn’t feel the noose tightening.

"What’s his problem with me, anyway?”

Malakai’s gaze flicked sideways, something unreadable slipping into his expression.

"He has . . . history with your mother.”

A pause.

"Practically all of us do.”

His lips twisted—not quite a smile. Something darker. More bitter.

“For me, there’s no point punishing someone for their parents’ crimes.”

But the way his voice dipped—low, quiet, careful—told me he’d considered it. Maybe still was.

I couldn’t help but snort under my breath. Such a choice was bold of him. Foolish. But bold nonetheless.

Mother, of course, would staunchly disagree with such a wanton philosophy.

I knew firsthand that guilt by association was enough to get a person skinned alive if it suited her.

“You still think keeping me around is a good idea?”

I asked, keeping my tone carefully neutral.

"Is this job really worth it?”

Malakai let out a slow, exaggerated sigh, like I was the most exhausting thing that had ever happened to him. His mouth curled into a lazy smirk, but there was something sharper behind it. His eyes dragged over me—slow, deliberate, assessing.

"You wouldn’t last a day out here on your own.”

My jaw clenched so tight it hurt.

"Maybe not,”

I said, voice flat.

"But you don’t have to take me to Tiepaz. If you took me home—”

He cut me off with a scoff, his boot slamming into a fat, bloated mushroom that burst like a blister.

“Out of the question,”

he snapped, all charm gone.

The words came out hard. Clipped. Like he hated that I’d even asked. Like the idea scared him more than he’d admit.

“I’m taking you to Tiepaz,”

he said, voice low and final.

"And that’s the end of it.”

Like hell it was.

I bit the inside of my cheek, shoving down the sharp flare of frustration. He was so damn sure of himself. So sure I had no choice but to follow him like a good little prisoner. That was his mistake.

Malakai and his crew were useful. They knew the terrain. They had weapons, provisions, and the skills to make it through the jungle alive. And if something worse than them came creeping through the trees, I knew they’d be the first line of defense between me and death.

For now.

But when the right moment came?

I’d be long gone before any of them could stop me.