Page 143 of We Are Yours

One month later.

* * *

“Hello,” I greeted the attendant at the county medical examiner’s office. “I’m here for Melody Knightly.”

It took four weeks to get her ashes. I just got the call that morning that they were ready to be picked up. The last month was a whirlwind, between the week I lost getting fucked up to school and then trying to look for Julius, it flew by in one big blur. I didn’t show back up at the house for about a week, and when I did, it shook me to my bare bones.

I’d never forget that afternoon, walking into the disaster of what had become of our lives.

I stepped inside the eerily quiet house, and Isla was the first thing I saw. She sat on the couch, staring intently at me. For a moment, I thought something had happened to my brother.

“Isla—”

She ran to me, almost knocking me over from the impact of throwing her arms around my neck and hugging me so damn tightly.

“Isla, you’re scaring me…”

She broke down crying. “I thought you weren’t coming back like Julius. I thought you both left me…”

“Like Julius?” I hugged her back, loving the feel of her in my arms.

I spent the past week in a drunken and high stupor, not wanting to feel much of anything. Luckily, my probation hadn’t looked for me, or I would have gotten a call, or worse, the cops would have been looking for me. Spring break was over. I had to return to the house. I couldn’t blow off school. My court date wasn’t until summer, and I refused to be thrown back in there for shits and giggles.

“Yeah,” she wept, clinging to me. “He’s gone, Kraven. Julius left.”

I eased out of her hold, trying to understand. “What are you talking about?”

She wiped her tears, rushing to the coffee table before handing me a note that read be back in ten.

“Julius left this?”

“Yes, with an envelope of money.”

Keeping my emotions in check, I asked, “Why didn’t you call or text me?”

“I don’t know…” she whispered, lost in thought. “I think I just… crashed…”

“Here you go,” the attendant announced, yanking me away from the memory. I grabbed the rectangular, hard, plastic urn out of her hands. “Thanks.”

Isla opened her backpack. “Do you want to put it in here?”

“Umm…”

Unsure of what to say, I stared at it for a minute. It was such a surreal feeling to be holding her in this way. I never thought this day would come, at least not like this. She was just a pile of ashes now, in a shitty urn provided by the state.

Although the doctor said we could say our goodbyes to her while she was in the ER, we didn’t.

Julius signed off on her body, and we left after that.

The last memory I had of her was staring into her dead eyes, so saying goodbye to her wouldn’t have accomplished a damn thing. There was nothing left to say. We shared it all, including how we wanted her dead. I didn’t know much about spirituality, but that kind of shit couldn’t have been good for our own karma.

I guess you could say I was trying to process it all, and so far, I was failing miserably. I had no idea where my brother was, and the fact that he had been gone this long was also something I never expected, especially since he left Isla behind. Which only proved how messed up he truly was.

I was definitely worried about him. However, having Isla to myself helped tremendously, but given the current events, we were both simply trying to keep our heads above water.

“Kraven, here.” Isla grabbed the urn out of my grasp. “I’ll do it for you.”

I allowed her to, watching her slip Melody’s ashes into her backpack. Wondering if her soul was in there with her, trapped for all eternity for being a shitty mother.