Page 3 of Waves (Tangled Crowns #6)

Avia

M y sleep was rattled by strange nightmares and even stranger emotions. I jerked awake more than once, coated in sweat as strange bursts of bitterness and lust battled in my stomach, threaded with glistening guilt.

Several times, I was tempted to swim to Stavros, pull him from his tent, and admit to my selfish plan to use him.

But Queen Gela would have had my head for that.

She had chanted about a queen’s duty to her station and using whatever means necessary so often that her words were engraved deep inside.

If Lizza fed me more X-ray fish, she would probably find those sayings carved into my bones.

So, I remained silent and stewed, staring at a frayed hole in my tent wall, mind replaying the attacks and steeping in self-loathing.

When my maids finally arrived and prepared me for the day, they had to do extra work to hide the hollows under my eyes.

I paid almost no attention to the solemn navy skirt and sheer top someone slid onto me, my head already creating long lists of sad to-dos.

The families of the deceased needed to be notified.

Funeral rites had to be funded and planned.

This morning, when a seashell tiara slid into my curls, it felt weighted with lead.

Schooling my face into something I hoped was a placid expression to calm everyone around me, I lifted the flap and swam outside.

Very few were up and about, making it easy for me to spot Sahar near the outer ring of tents where the servants had slept.

My closest adviser, the siren chatted with several bulky male mermen who were in their full armor.

As I swam up, I heard her crisply issuing orders. “…and four of them are from Sky Stones, so we will need a contingent of at least four soldiers, one per body, to return them to their families.”

The men gave sharp nods. Their eyes darted to me as they turned, and it might have been my imagination, but I perceived judgment in their gazes.

The people-pleasing part of me wanted to curl inward, but I remained still, stiffening my spine and giving them what I hoped looked like a nod of appreciation for their work.

Turning to my advisor and trying not to notice how last night had seemed to multiply her gray hairs, I asked, “You want the dead transported to Sky Stones? Shouldn’t we have a public funeral for everyone in the capital first? Given that this was an attack on me and my reign, I would think?—”

Sahar gave a slight bow, though her eyes held steadily onto mine as she countered, “It would delay the tournament too much, Majesty.”

I blinked, taken aback. “Delay? No one can possibly expect to continue. Not after all that’s happened…”

The soldiers swam off, disinclined to stay for our conversation when they caught the look on Sahar’s face. She struggled to contain it, but she probably slept as well as I had.

She took in a long, deep breath, gathering patience before she stated, “These men signed magical contracts.”

I gave her a sharp look but she quickly continued when she realized that argument didn’t sway me. “The Syzgos Tournament is a ritual just as much as anything else. The people expect it. To cancel it would be to give in to the rebellion.”

“A man died!”

“The soldiers are tightening their rounds.”

“There have been multiple attacks.”

“It always starts with an inch. Just one concession.” Her tone was a slap to the wrist—a tutor disappointed in their pupil. Gela’s voice sounded in my head, echoing those words.

I sawed my teeth back and forth but didn't argue further. My silence prompted her to continue. “You’ll declare today a day of mourning. I have an announcement drafted. But then we need to move on. Show we are undefeated. That their terror has gained no foothold. We cannot be weak.”

I opened my mouth, not fully convinced, but Keelan and Mr. Whelk appeared behind her just then. The sea turtle’s flippers were slung over the handsome siren’s shoulder near his ruined arm, allowing Keelan to do all the work of swimming and his pet to ride, bobbing in his wake.

In the morning light, my suitor’s golden skin glistened, his white hair was nearly blinding, and the purple lightning bolt shaved into the side of his scalp stood out even more starkly than usual.

While his smile wasn’t quite as bright as it would have been another day, it was still there.

It had survived the night…unlike some of his competitors.

I managed a shaky grin for Keelan and Mr. Welk opened his mouth, his tongue dangling out almost as if he was sticking it out at me. The silly turtle managed to make a soft chuckle burst from my lips.

Sahar noticed my gaze and turned to see her son, her expression softening. “He has you well trained,” she commented wryly to Keelan, tipping her head toward the turtle, who was still enjoying his piggyback ride.

Keelan only shrugged. “He deserves it. He’s too adorable not to spoil. Kind of like me.”

Both his mother and I laughed, though the sound reverberated oddly inside my mangled mind. I felt guilty for feeling joy, but it was such a relief at the same time.

Keelan noticed I was struggling, because he immediately swam up and engulfed me in a warm hug, his good arm wrapping around my waist and pulling me close.

Into a moment that would have been romantic if it hadn’t trapped Mr. Whelk’s flippers between us.

The indignant turtle issued a low growl as he flicked his little limbs, trying to escape.

Chuckling, I pulled back enough to free the sea turtle, and Mr. Whelk paddled upward. In a move that looked far too coincidental to be an accident, the speckled pet cuffed his owner on the side of the head.

“Hey!”

I couldn’t help but grin as Keelan and the turtle glared at one another in a mock face off. And I couldn’t help but notice how the siren cinched me tightly to his side in the process.

Ending the stare off, Keelan released me, gazing gently over my face for a minute before he offered me the crook of his elbow and said, “Come on, future wife. You look like you need cheering up. And that’s what I do best.”

“I think annoyance might be more your forte,” his mother commented, but she gestured at me with a shooing motion that belied her tone.

Keelan was by far the most playful and light-hearted of any of the competitors seeking my hand.

Just his presence was already loosening the anchor weighing me down.

Being near him made my heart float upward.

But perhaps I deserved the weight. And there was so much to be done.

Shaking my head to decline him, I looked at Sahar. “I should stay and help you?—”

She cut me off, holding up a hand. “A queen doesn’t need to be bogged down by the details. I have those in hand. Your people need to see you calm and confident when we arrive at Kremos. I’ll take care of these arrangements and then I’ll work on a strategy to make the next event safer.”

“And another for catching those bastards,” Keelan added, a rare scowl crossing his features.

“And one for that,” Sahar agreed solemnly. The lines around her eyes seemed deeper all of a sudden, as if the very thought aged her.

Before I could argue or insist on helping, Keelan swept me up into a bridal hold with his good arm, making me give a surprised little shriek that transformed into a laugh when he waggled his brows like a minstrel playing a villain. “I’m kidnapping you. And there’s nothing you can do about it.”

My lips opened and I tried to come up with a response to his banter.

But my mind stayed blank. It wasn’t quite ready to play.

My phantom heart was still bruised and aching and though I craved his levity I couldn’t quite match it yet.

So, I simply allowed the silence to float between us, like a leaf on a pond drifting aimlessly across the surface.

Resting my cheek against his chest, I took comfort from his steady heartbeat. From the smooth, sure way he held me as he swam. It was peaceful to let someone carry me, particularly when I so often felt I carried the weight of the entire kingdom’s expectations.

Emptying my mind became my only goal…because I knew Sahar was right. I knew that, once Keelan and I returned, there would be heavy talks and even more restrictions of my movement.

Even now, five guards shadowed us on sharks, though they tried to keep a discreet distance.

But there was little cover where we swam, so their silhouettes were constant blots on the vast waterscape in front of us and the kelp wavering in the current below us.

Keelan swam us closer to the surface where sunlight warmed our shoulders.

Beneath us, the mass of the Kelp Forest looked tiny.

Narrow. Not nearly as huge as I’d expected.

Perhaps I should have found Lizza. Practiced my magic more so that I actually produced something more than balls of ice. But exhaustion—both mental and physical—kept me limp in my siren’s arms. What I should do and what I could do seemed worlds apart.

Besides, leaning against Keelan’s sculpted pecs was a great way to boost a girl’s morale. My fingers drifted lazily over his skin, admiring him.

Mr. Whelk followed along at a distance until he spotted a school of tiny orange fish, and then he immediately shot off like a dart, spinning through the water and heading to play, just as cheerful as a clam.

I wondered if he even remembered the terror of yesterday or if it was all gone from his head, as fleeting as a rainstorm, forgotten the moment the sun renewed its gaze.

“I envy him,” I admitted.

Keelan’s eyes roamed after his pet for a second. “Well, he does get to have sex in public, so I agree…pretty envious life.”

“Oh my god!” I exclaimed, scandalized, swatting the back of his head lightly before a laugh poured out of me, a laugh that seemed to fill up my entire body, mirth jangling my bones and rattling my lungs until they ached.

How Keelan managed to keep hold of me, I was unsure, but when I finally settled, there was a soft satisfaction painted across his features.

“There’s the woman behind the crown. The real you.”

I blushed, suddenly shy. Our gazes mingled for a moment, full of gentle tenderness. Full of a trust that prompted me to confess, “Sometimes, I feel a thousand years old.”

“Thank goodness you don’t look it,” he retorted, with a horrified facial expression.

“Hey!”

He snorted a laugh and dropped me when I punched his shoulder.

My stomach flew as I fell, and I had to splay my wings and flutter them in order to stop sinking. As soon as I’d got my balance, Keelan grabbed my hand and started swimming off, tugging me along.

“Where are we going?” I asked.

“Pit of Despair.”

“Lovely name.”

“Lovely name for a lovely place,” he retorted, glancing over.

“Why are we going there?”

“Well, it’s really just a massive sinkhole on the edge of Nowhere, but I think the name is fitting—even if I made it up.

” His fingers squeezed mine and his tone deepened, the light cheer evaporating for a moment when he added, “Not that I feel down often, but I find that when I do, seeing that massive pit makes my problems feel small.”

I squeezed back, honored that he’d share that little sliver of vulnerable truth with me. Clutching that small acknowledgment like it was a diamond, I was greedy for more. Royals didn’t often find true friends or honest tongues–at least, that had been my experience in Evaness.

“If you don’t mind me asking…when was that?”

He towed me along for a while in silence, thinking about his answer, opening his mouth and closing it several times.

I’d never seen him so uncertain. Behind him, the white dunes of the Umra Desert rose and fell, the water above them empty as far as the eye could see.

Around us, the current blew and danced, ruffling his hair.

If it weren’t for the guards in the distance, it would have felt like we were the only two souls in the ocean.

Finally, he turned to me with a sheepish shrug, his amber eyes squeezing with regret as he said, “I thought I was in love once.”

The confession took me aback because he wasn’t much older than me. “Really?”

“Yeah. I was young. Fourteen maybe? Far too young for anyone else to take it seriously. Even her. But damn…I did, for a while.” His tone and gaze grew wistful even though I didn’t get the feeling he wanted to relive the moment, merely that he couldn’t help it.

“Why did you think it was love?” I asked.

“The pull…it was magnetic. I was just drawn to her. I can’t explain it. But it was like she took over my mind.”

“Sea witch?” I asked…wondering about the end of the story.

“I wish. Then I’d have an excuse for the sappy shite I became. No. Just a dumb boy falling for a girl with a great smile and a great set of…brains.”

I chuckled. “Hope you like my brains.”

He glanced lasciviously down at my chest in the sheer top and my nipples hardened from his attention. “Yeah, you’ve got great brains. I bet they’re two handfuls.”

“I am so glad no one else can hear us right now,” I muttered, blushing furiously even though I found him stupidly amusing.

“Me too. Wish they couldn’t see us either,” he murmured. But he pulled me closer anyway, spinning me lightly in the water until I faced him. Letting go of my hand, he reached up to stroke the side of my neck and his touch doubled my pulse.

“I’m also glad that other girl let you down,” I told him softly as we hovered in the water.

“Me too. Sometimes, life has a better plan than you do.”

“Truth.”

With a smile still stretched across his lips, Keelan leaned down and kissed me gently. And all the colors of sunrise seemed to rise inside my hollow chest at once, filling me with a soft rainbow glow.