Page 23 of Waves of Reckoning (Echoes of Camano Island #1)

Chapter Twenty-Two

He sighed for what felt like the umpteenth time, and he reclined in his chair twirling the pen around his fingers as his mood became pensive.

He’d hurt Nikki. Even though it had not been his intention, the hurt look on her face showed just how much his words had cut her deep.

If he could have retracted his statement, he would have, then he wouldn’t have to be in his office thinking about her, wondering if she was all right or what he could do to make it up to her.

He hadn’t exactly left her in the best of moods.

She had been highly charged and refused to listen to anything else after he’d reminded her that she wasn’t a mother.

Seeing her so upset and knowing that he was the reason for it caused his heart to ache.

He put his hand over his chest and massaged the area above the scar he’d received from the surgery.

Just then, there was a knock on the door before the head chef and his partner stepped into the office, and his hand fell away from his chest.

“You look like hell,” Ken observed as he settled into the sofa at the far corner of the office, his perceptive eyes trained on Paul.

“I’m fine. I’m just a little fatigued after reviewing the books for the past two hours.” He plastered a smile on his face that he hoped was convincing enough.

“You know you could have left. I could have finished it for you. Don’t want you having another…episode if it can be prevented.”

“What did you want to talk to me about?” Paul asked, changing the subject.

Ken didn’t speak for a while but continued eyeing him as if trying to figure something out. Paul felt like squirming under the scrutiny.

“The business has been doing so well and the restaurant keeps having such a huge draw and great reviews, even the one back at the Nestled Inn…I was thinking that we could maybe branch out. What do you think about opening another Lot 28 in Seattle?”

Paul nodded his head contemplatively as he thought about his partner’s suggestion. Another one Michelin star restaurant opening would be great for their brand. However…

“It’s a good idea. I can see us drawing in an even greater crowd if we open a sister branch in Seattle…”

“But?” Ken asked, noting his hesitation.

“I’ll have to talk to Sarah about it. After everything that’s happened, she worries about me even more than I worry about myself, you know?

And I tell her everything. If she’s fine with it, then I’m definitely on board.

But there’s a lot to think about with starting this new venture too like the starting capital, recruiting only the best of the best to run the restaurant… ”

“Let me worry about that part. Just talk to Sarah and see what she says,” Ken assured him.

Paul nodded his agreement.

“So…”

“What?” Paul asked, noting the glint in his friend’s eye and the smirk lifting the corners of his mouth.

“What’s the deal between you and Nikki?”

“What do you mean?” Paul asked, furrowing his brows.

Ken leaned forward and placed his hands on his raised knees. "I mean, are you guys dating?"

"What? No. No, Nikki and I are just friends," Paul sputtered.

"You sure about that? I've seen the way you look at her, and that, my friend, is more than just friendly." Ken wagged his eyebrows suggestively.

"She. Is. Only. A. Friend," Paul stressed. But he didn't sound too convincing, even to his own ears. She was his friend that he liked a little more than just a friend. He couldn’t deny that.

Back in high school, he'd seen a whole future with her.

Then life happened. She left him and went off to college to become a big shot journalist. However, the attraction he'd felt for her all those years ago resurfaced the moment he saw her standing there in her sister's doorway, a surprised smile on her lips as her blue-gray eyes shined brightly at him.

At that moment, he had been transported back to all his dreams for them, back when he thought they were meant to spend the rest of their lives together.

No one told him that it rarely ever ended that way with your first love. Paul shook himself out of the memory.

Those were dangerous thoughts to entertain, especially now that he wasn’t sure Nikki was what he wanted at this stage of his life or if he was even what she needed with everything she was battling.Maybe it was better that the past remained just that—the past.

A hand waved before his face, bringing him out of his reverie.

"I lost you a while back there," his friend said when he turned to focus on him.

"Sorry about that. Are we still on for that fishing trip up Puget Sound?" he asked, changing the subject again.

If Ken realized what he had done, he had made no attempt to call Paul out on it.

"Are you kidding me? I've been ready for this trip since we made the plans," he spoke happily. "There is no way I'm not gonna be on that boat come Saturday.I have everything set; even the hooks and rod are in my shed, and I'm picking the bait up Friday afternoon."

"Looks to me like you've been planning for this trip your whole life." Paul smirked.

"And then some," his friend replied solemnly as a faraway look came into his eyes.

Paul inclined his head in understanding.

His friend had never been fishing before because between going to law school and jumping through hoops to please his parents, he simply hadn't had the time to experience the joys of things like fishing. The most gratifying thing he’d done for himself was to quit the law firm he worked at for nearly half his life to invest in and help Paul run Lot 28.

"Don’t worry, friend. I'll make sure you have a memorable experience.We can make a tradition of it."

Ken smiled appreciatively.

As soon as his friend left the office to prepare for the afternoon lunch rush, Paul again turned his attention to the books. Only, he couldn’t focus on what was in those books because he had just one thing on his mind, or rather one person. Nikki.

Thoughts of high school came flashing into his mind once more.

He remembered how inseparable he and Nikki had been.

He also remembered the devastation he had felt when she suggested they break up after prom because they were going to different colleges, charting different paths.

He’d put up a brave front and agreed with her even though his heart had felt like someone was holding it tightly in their fist and squeezing the life out of it.

The ring he’d saved up all of his allowances and money from working at the Shack to buy had weighed heavily in his pocket while he carried it around, preparing to propose to Nikki at their senior prom.

But after the bombshell she’d dropped, it had felt like it was searing a hole in his pocket.

He had stood there on the beach with her, listening to the waves crash against the rocky banks, the salt air swirling around them and causing Nikki’s blond hair to levitate as it covered her face.

He’d plastered a smile as he’d agreed with her assertions.

Years after the breakup, he’d pined after her, but then he’d met Natalie.

At the thought of his late wife, guilt engulfed him.

He knew, without a doubt, that he had loved her and had made the right choice to marry and start a family with her.

He would not have changed anything about his life, but realizing that he had carried these feelings for Nikki all these years felt like a betrayal to what he’d shared with Natalie.

He remembered the first time he saw Natalie. They were taking the same elective course, Modern Philosophy. He remembered how she’d come bustling into the class halfway through.

“Therefore, Descartes is considered the founder of what we term modern philoso—”

A young woman came barreling into the room, cutting off the lecturer’s words and directing all the eyes in the room to her rather noisy entrance.

“Care to explain why you came barging in in the middle of my lesson?” the lecturer asked, arms folded over his chest as he gave her a pointed look.

“I’m sorry, sir. I overslept, and then I couldn’t find my notebook, and then my key got stuck in the keyhole of my dorm room—it nearly broke- and then my sho—”

“That’s enough,” the lecturer spoke, holding up a hand that effectively cut off whatever else the girl was about to say.

What caught Paul’s attention was the shocking purple color at the end of her blond, curly hair and the eyebrow piercing that moved with every animated gesture when she spoke. He was intrigued, to say the least.

“See if you can find a seat and try not to interrupt the class anymore. Make sure you make it to your other classes on time.”

The girl went to speak, but the lecturer held his hand up to halt her words.

She turned and scanned the mostly packed room, trying to locate a seat when her eyes zeroed in on him or rather the seat that was right next to him.

She gingerly picked her way through the rows and the sea of bodies whose eyes remained fixated on her, some of them holding condescending smirks.

When she made it to the seat, she sat and stared ahead as the lecturer picked up where he’d left off.

“Hi.”

Paul turned surprised eyes toward the girl who stared back at him with a broad, daring grin.

“Hi,” he responded, carefully watching what the lecturer was doing from the corner of his eye.

“I know it’s far out, but can I borrow your notes after class?” she asked.

“Um, sure,” he replied.

“Great,” the girl responded, pleased, before turning her head to the front of the class to listen to the lecturer. Paul did the same.

After the lecture, Paul stayed back, allowing her to copy his notes, and from that day onward, they had been inseparable.

He had been happy with Natalie. They’d had a wonderful life. She taught him how to be a good husband and a good father. There was, without a doubt, nothing he would change about their life together.

Still…

His thoughts kept going back to Nikki. To deny that Nikki was also in his heart would be to deny that what he had felt for her was akin to what you would call having a soulmate. But…

It still felt like a betrayal to Natalie’s memory, and he did not know what to do about the dilemma he now found himself in.