Page 55 of Watching You

They hired a car from Heathrow to drive southwest towards Dorset to visit Midnight. Connie was leaning out of the window, drinking in the summer air.

‘Yup, well, the UK’s a little less appealing from October to March unless you’re a plant who likes very little light and excessive watering. We’re here.’

‘Wooly!’ Dawn was shouting from behind a little gate where a springer spaniel puppy was bouncing up and down as if on a tiny trampoline. ‘Wooly hug!’

‘You go ahead,’ Baarda said smiling, ‘I’ll bring the bags.’

Connie raced across the driveway to grab hold of Dawn and hug her tight. Midnight picked up the puppy and went to meet Baarda at the car.

‘It’s lovely to have you here,’ she said. ‘Connie looks well. You look a bit drained, if I’m honest. Long drive?’

‘Long couple of months,’ Baarda said. ‘Goodness me, I can smell the orchard from here. How do you get anything done except fruit picking?’

As if summoned, Doris appeared wearing an apron smeared in reds, oranges and pinks, with a bowl still in one hand as she stirred with a spoon in the other.

‘Just in time, dearies,’ she said, the south London accent at odds with the surroundings, and all the more lyrical for it.

‘We’ve chicken and cucumber sandwiches, rhubarb scones with strawberry or blackcurrant jam, a summer berries sponge pudding with homemade custard – none of that tinned nonsense – and elderberry ice cream. ’

‘Doris, you are a marvel,’ Connie cried. ‘No wonder Midnight begged you to come live with her. I’ll be stealing you for myself if they’re not careful.’

‘Not me, sweetheart. I’m staying put. Picked out my burial plot in the churchyard up the lane and everything. Much as I loved London, I can’t believe I stayed there so long. This place makes up for all the holidays I never went on. It’s a little slice of paradise.’

Midnight took Connie by the arm. ‘The burial plot will have fallen into the sea before she’s ready for it. Doris is stronger than the lot of us. And you’ll have to fight me if you think you can poach her. Come on through to the garden.’

Baarda put their overnight bags inside before joining them all in the shade of an ancient oak tree. Midnight and Doris were in deckchairs and Connie was lying out sunning herself on a picnic rug with Dawn.

‘How did you leave things in Scotland?’ Midnight asked. ‘Please tell me they’re not prosecuting Dr Waterfall. Poor woman has to live with the things she’s done, surely that’s punishment enough.’

‘They’ve agreed not to,’ Connie said. ‘All the psychiatric and medical reports concluded the same thing, and because she was in a fugue state for the killings Beth wouldn’t have been able to get a fair trial. The surgery and medication were successful. She’s not a threat any more.’

‘My loves, can we keep the conversation away from such brutal stuff in front of Dawn?’ Doris asked in a hushed voice. ‘She might not understand much of it, but I can’t stand any talk of death around her.’

‘What would I do without you, Doris?’ Midnight asked. ‘Except that I’d be thinner, of course. My waistline hasn’t been the same since we moved here.’

‘Wooly stay,’ Dawn said, reaching out to hold Connie’s hand.

‘Just for tonight, sweetheart,’ Connie told her. ‘But I’ll do a puzzle with you, and I’ll read you bedtime stories and I’m sure there’s a present for you tucked into my bag.’

Dawn grinned and started playing with the multicoloured laces on Connie’s trainers.

‘Brodie, did you get the issue with your wife sorted out, about the children’s surnames?’ Midnight asked.

‘I did,’ he said, closing his eyes as he leaned back on a sun lounger.

‘I left it to the children. They’re teenagers, and frankly one can’t do anything without their consent these days.

They were both very clear that they weren’t prepared to change their names, and that they weren’t the least bit bothered by their mother changing hers. ’

Midnight grinned. ‘And how did your ex take that?’

‘For a woman who’s been used to getting her own way, surprisingly well. We even managed to have a half-civilised telephone conversation about it.’

‘You didn’t tell me,’ Connie said.

‘We’ve been rather busy,’ he replied. ‘I should add that I need to take a look at our diary. I was thinking about reducing my travel and staying put in the UK for the next year. You don’t need me on most of the jobs you do. If there’s a security issue, I can find cover.’

Connie looked away and Midnight stood abruptly.

‘Let’s go and get tea on the table, shall we? The thought of those scones is making my mouth water. We’ll call you when it’s ready.’ Midnight helped Dawn to her feet and they went with Doris into the house.

‘You didn’t think to discuss that with me first?’ Connie asked. ‘Since when did we start not discussing our plans? We’re partners.’

‘Not really,’ Baarda said. His voice was warm and deep. ‘You’re the person our clients pay for. It’s your expertise they want. I’m just part of the package. I’m not saying I want out, just that a bit of distance with the added benefit of being around more for my kids seems like a good idea.’

Connie got up and wandered over to a nearby pear tree, reaching out to pluck one from the branches. She held it to her nose and breathed in deeply.

‘I shouldn’t have kissed you,’ she said. ‘I made things messy, and I know you don’t like mess. I knew it was wrong when I did it.’

‘Then why didn’t you stop yourself?’

She shrugged and took a bite of the pear, wiping juice from her chin, chewing and swallowing before answering.

‘I honestly don’t know. Sometimes this feels like a marriage, Brodie.

Not that I’ve been married but for me our relationship is how I imagine all the good bits of a long-term relationship.

I can trust you. I never get sick of you.

And you get me, right? Like, no one has ever really gotten me before?

There’s this … continuity with you. You’re my anchor. ’

‘An anchor is designed to weigh you down. It feels to me as if you’re not making other connections in your life because of us, except that we’re not married. You should want your own life, a private life, a partner.’

‘I have you,’ she said.

‘Connie, for the brightest person I’ve ever met – the brightest person anyone I’ve met has ever met, in fact – you are startlingly dumb.’

She threw the core of the pear into a compost pile and wiped her fingers on her jeans.

‘I kissed you because you smelled good,’ she said. ‘It’s that Mont Blanc aftershave. The dark and the late night, and you really engaging with me, I just couldn’t stop myself.’

‘That’s not what this is though, this thing with us. It would destroy everything.’

‘Me losing you would destroy everything,’ she said.

‘Don’t leave me, Brodie. Not even for a few months.

I do what I do well because when I turn around, you’re there.

I never have to be distracted by anything because you’re next to me, and I don’t mean travel arrangements or security or driving – I can pay someone to do any of that.

It’s my head and my heart that need you.

When you’re not there for a week, it’s like I can’t think straight.

We’re a machine that only works when you fit both parts together. ’

‘I’m not a machine, Connie,’ he said.

‘Believe it or not, neither am I. I can break, and I can run slow, and parts of me can get worn out.’

She sat down next to him in a garden chair. ‘Come to Martha’s Vineyard with me for a few days and decide then. No work talk. And I won’t try to pressure you. Will you at least do that?’

Brodie Baarda looked at her face in the light of the blossom pink late afternoon sun, and knew he would never be able to say no to Connie Woolwine.

‘All right,’ he said. ‘Martha’s Vineyard. Beyond that, we’ll just have to wait and see.’