Page 69 of Watch Me

“You never wanted or needed my help.”

“I know, and this is going to sound weird, but I’m kinda glad you’ve been working long hours. I’ve been able to really focus.”

“I hope you still feel that way in five years.”

The waiter picked that moment to come and take our order. After we both let him know what we wanted to eat and drink, I replied, “Why do you think it will be any different five years from now?”

Ethan took a sip of water. “You know why I’m divorced.”

I nodded slightly. “Yeah, but I’m nother.”

He chuckled slightly. “No, baby, you’re not.”

“Plus,” I went on, “you’re nothing like my ex. He had a thing for his secretary.”

“I know that. I was merely referring to my job.”

“I know. And who knows, I might be working those long hours too.”

“Yep, but first, I need to catch this guy.”

I frowned. “Why?”

Ethan grabbed my hand and rubbed my knuckles softly. “Given that we don’t know who this guy is, I don’t want to chance that you’ll be put in a trap.”

“How?”

“There’s a lot of ways, but if you’re the tech on a crime scene, you’ll be out in the open.”

“So, you want me to stay a kept woman on a leash?”

“That’s not what you are—”

“But it is. For the past week and a half, I haven’t been alone. Haven’t been able to go shopping if I wanted to, or get my hair or nails done. I’ve only been able to go to school and go to Judy’s, and now I don’t have school. So what am I going to do while I’m not behind the bar? Cook? Clean? Beyourhousewife?”

I didn’t need to get my hair done, and I wasn’t one to have my nails done every two weeks either. My point was that I wasn’t able to leave the house and do whatever I wanted. I knew we were doing it to keep me safe, but I also wanted to be able to find a job in my new field and not have to tell them that a serial killer might be after me, or that I came with privatesecurity.

“You know that if—”

The waiter brought us our drinks, and Ethan paused. When the waiter left, Ethan took a deep breath before continuing.

“You know if there wasn’t a threat on your life that things would be different.”

I sighed. “I know, and I’m sorry. I’ve just always wanted this and now …” I swallowed. “Now, it feels as if there’s something else preventing it from happening. I made the decision after college to not pursue my dreams, and I don’t regret having Maddie, but now—”

“I want you to follow your dreams, but I also don’t want to be called toyourmurder scene.”

“What if you never catch this guy?”

“I will.”

“You don’t know that. It’s been almost two months since the first murder.” I only knew that because Ethan had walked into Judy’s the night before the first murder, and that was two weeks after I had started school. Given the program was only ten weeks, we were coming up on two months for the first unsolved murder. Would it take two more months to solve the second? Longereven?

Ethan took another deep breath. With the long hours, the lack of sleep, making sure he drove me home after my late shifts, I knew he was tired. I knew he was trying to solve the case—obviously—but there was still that chance it would never be solved. There were countless murders that took ten, twenty years to be solved—if at all. “You’re right.”

“I don’t mean that you’re not—”

“I know. Thereisthat possibility we’ll never catch him, given the lack of evidence.”