Page 111 of Wasted Grace

He kept muttering curses and words of appreciation for my body—in Dari. But I couldn’t focus. I kept staring at the wall inches away from me. Obscured behind the bars of the headboard.

It was almost like I was imprisoned behind them. My body was shaking with real terror. Not knowing when he’d strike next.

I felt his hands all over, bile rising in my throat with every slap and stroke.

Before I could blink, my ankles were shackled. I didn’t resist.Couldn’t. What would be the point?

I screamed at appropriate times. Grunted at others. Sobbed when I was supposed to. My brain was hoping—miserably—that my act was anact. But it wasn’t.

The word ‘stop’was lodged in my throat like a feeble protest. But it was too weak to change the course of the next hour. Hell, the twenty-four hours—when I’d be tied to this rank-smelling bed.

Every excrement of my body left to rot beside me. Until he decided he needed a cleaner whore.

I couldn’t even bring myself to think that I needed help. Because Ididn’t. I couldn’t even ask anyone.

I chose this.

Thrust.

I made this decision.

Thrust.

I consented to rape.

Thrust.

TWENTY-NINE

Advik

An icy silence.

That’s the first thing I register. The next is her voice—so quiet, so haunted—I almost miss it.

Consented... torape.

The dichotomy of that phrase sends a chilling shiver through my spine. The words crawl into the room like smoke. Toxic. Impossible.

Consented to rape.

My stomach twists.

Those two words do not belong in the same fucking sentence.

She said shechoseit.

She said she chose to beviolated.

Something inside me ruptures. My pulse goes cold. My body stills.

And when I look at her—I know. She’sgone.

Her eyes glaze over, duller than I’ve ever seen them.

Not blank. Not guarded.Absent.

She’s not here anymore.