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Marinah

Pain slid beneath my skin, tearing through muscles while snapping and rebuilding bone. I writhed in agony, straining against the straps holding me down. Rage flooded my veins. It was a consuming, killing rage that needed something. Blood came to mind. Had they lied to me? Am I really just a mindless fucking vampire? The world around me blurred, swallowed by a crimson haze that sharpened the edges of everything it touched. The pain consumed me, and it wouldn’t stop.

Then, without a breath between torture and lucidity, objects snapped into stark clarity, their details vivid in an incredible way.

My head lifted, the strange weight of my six-inch snout pulling at my neck. I turned left, then right, sniffing the air, my nostrils large and, if I’m honest, hairy. Scents overwhelmed me, raw and layered, each one unraveling a mystery I couldn’t fully comprehend but also couldn’t ignore.

“Take my hand, Marinah. Focus on my voice.”

King’s words cut through the confusion, but they were too loud, too much. I clamped my hands over my ears, only to flinch as claws brushed dangerously close to my face. My hands. No, things, trembled before me, alien and grotesque. This body was no longer mine; something foreign had invaded, dragging me into a nightmare I couldn’t escape.

“Breathe, Marinah. You’re okay.”

The words floated into my fractured skull, anchoring me against the all-encompassing storm. I didn’t want to hear them, but I knew that voice and clung to it, desperately shoving it into the small corner of my brain that still craved reason and yearned for control.

“Concentrate, Marinah.”

A response was beyond me, but I tried. Then, tried again. What escaped my throat was warped and unnatural, a garbled approximation of my voice. “Kin…no.” It came out nasally, almost mechanical, a sound that filled me with dread.

A sharp prick in my arm pulled me back from the brink. Within seconds, time stretched and slowed. The red fog began to lift, peeling back to reveal the shattered remnants of the monster inside me. I blinked once, twice, and the room came into focus. King’s strong face materialized before me.

“Don lev me,” I whispered through my huge jaws. The words cracked with vulnerability, a plea from someone pathetic and broken. Some creature I didn’t recognize.

King’s cool hand slid over the hot skin of my jaw, my cheek, my brow. “I’m not going anywhere. You’re doing great,” he said softly, using a wet towel to wipe down my upper chest and arms.

Memories flashed through my mind. King had been doing this for days. He held my hand, talked me through the changes in my body, wiped away sweat, and helped me cling to what was left of my sanity.

For the first time since this nightmare began, I managed a smile, or something close to it. “You’rrrre a liar. I’m wwwimp,” I rasped.

King’s soft chuckle was a balm to my hypersensitive ears. He continued wiping me down, running the cloth over the short, bristly hair that now covered my skin. I lost track of time as I tried to focus on relaxing, on controlling the rage clawing at the edges of my mind.

“Here, love, eat this,” King whispered, tipping my head back and holding something close to my nose. The scent hit me instantly. Steak… raw. My jaws snapped open, instinct taking over. Must eat. His hand jerked away as I lunged forward, ready to tear the food from him.

“None of that,” he said sharply, his voice loud again, invading my sensitive ears. Anger surged, and fury swelled until it blocked out everything but the primal need for blood. A firm hand pushed against my shoulder. “Control yourself. Concentrate on my voice. You need to eat slowly, and my fingers are not on the menu.”

The straps binding me were too tight. Too restricting. Must break. Must kill. Must eat.

No! I screamed inside my own mind, battling the interloper that had taken root in my head. Do what he says, I commanded the beast.

The food moved closer, and I forced myself to open my jaws. When it hit my tongue, a low growl rumbled in my chest. The tangy blood rolled over my taste buds, fueling a craving I couldn’t shake, and I wanted to attack. No! I demanded again, reining in the animal. I swallowed, the raw meat slid down my throat, and I opened my jaws once more.

“Slow,” King coaxed gently. “There’s more.”

I clenched my jaws and let the blood saturate my senses. It filled me, sating an ache so deep it felt like it would never end. Bite by bite, I consumed the meat. Blood. Meat. More. More. More.

“Lower the dose,” King said.

“You know that’s dangerous,” a male voice replied sharply.

It took me a moment, but I recognized Axel. The doctor.

“Do as I say,” King insisted. “She won’t miss the funeral.”

Funeral. Boot. Che. The words pierced through my foggy mind.

“King, it’s too dangerous. She needs time to adjust. It’ll take months, not days,” Axel argued, his tone edged with frustration.

Axel could not win this argument. I had to be at that funeral. I pushed back against the monster inside me, and agony surged again, cutting through my body like jagged teeth.

“It’s too soon to shift. Fight it,” Axel warned, his words slicing through the haze.

“No!” I bellowed as agony slid along my nerves, sizzling everything in its path, breaking, rebuilding, changing me from monster to human. No, not monster. Warrior. I could do this. I had to. I twisted against the restraints, straining to draw my legs up, but they wouldn’t move.

“She’s shifting! Tighten the straps,” Axel barked.

As my body mass shrank, the straps adjusted to my new size as King and Axel worked together. I focused on breathing, forcing air in and out of my lungs as I cussed silently, battling through the pain.

Finally, I won.

“That’s my girl. Rest,” King whispered, his words brushing against my frayed nerves like a balm.

I drew in a deep breath, my lungs expanding and contracting as I worked to steady myself. “I’m going to the funeral,” I ground out when I could speak.

“She’s as stubborn as you are,” Axel huffed, his tone half chide, half frustration. “Marinah, you could shift again at any moment. It’s dangerous for you to be around others, and not just for you. It’s dangerous for them. If you try to hold back the change, the pain will be unbearable.”

“I’m going,” I said stubbornly. “You took the pain, and so did the others. I can too.”

I didn’t want to argue, but I would be at that funeral. I closed my eyes, letting exhaustion pull me under as sleep washed over me.

∞∞∞

“Use my shoulder,” King coaxed as I lifted one shaky leg and slid it into the pants he held open for me. Such a simple task shouldn’t have been this hard. My brain felt like it was being commanded by two entities, and neither of them wanted help putting on pants.

King had seen every inch of me over the past two days, so I’d had to get over my embarrassment about being naked in front of him pretty quickly. There were bigger things to worry about than modesty. After sliding my right leg into the pants, I moved on to the left. Lift foot, aim for the opening, lower foot. It should have been easy. But I was sweating, and my confidence in making it to Boot’s funeral was already unraveling. Concentrate, I told myself.

King insisted on zipping the pants, even when I batted his hands away. The familiar red haze started to creep into my brain, swelling until it felt like it might explode, and then the pain seized me.

“Fight it,” King urged, his voice cutting through the fog of chemicals invading my body.

He pulled his hands back, giving me space to regain control. I needed fingers, not claws, to finish this task, so I focused all my energy on that. It took several minutes of sheer willpower for the human part of me to take charge again. Slowly, I zipped the pants the rest of the way, found the buttonhole, and slipped the button through. When I glanced at King, pride filled me over finishing such a simple task. He smiled and nodded, completely understanding how good it felt to win even a small battle.

One way or another, I was going to that funeral. Axel had warned me not to be stressed under any circumstances, and King was supposed to keep a shot of their wonderful knockout drug on hand just in case. Thinking about Boot’s death sent a pang of sadness through me, and I knew that grief would trigger the change more than anything else.

It was a bad idea for me to go, but I didn’t care. Boot deserved my presence. He had sacrificed everything for his son, and that deserved my respect. And more than that, Boot had been my friend.

King held up a black T-shirt, and I nodded. We didn’t bother with a bra. If I shifted at the funeral, it would only get in the way.

“You with me?” King asked.

“I don’t think I can do this,” I admitted, sinking onto the edge of the bed and leaning my head forward into King’s stomach.

His hand moved into my hair, his fingers gently working through the tangles. I couldn’t have made it this far without him. He hadn’t left my side in two days.

Whenever he stepped away to shower or take care of Shadow Warrior business, I became agitated, and the change started. Then Axel would have to give me another shot, and I’d pass out again. It was a terrible cycle, and I hated being this needy. It didn’t matter that both King and Axel insisted it was normal. I wasn’t the same person I used to be. Physically, I was stronger, and mentally, my internal warrior had zapped my fear. But moments like these reminded me how far I still had to go.

“You can do it,” King said softly, pulling me out of my thoughts. “I’ll brush your hair. It’ll help.”

His quiet reassurance soothed me, and I managed to lift my head and give him a tentative smile. He looked away, careful not to make direct eye contact, and I understood why. My beast didn’t take well to prolonged stares. It was another frustrating downside to my new life as a Shadow Warrior.

King lifted the brush, and I let out a long sigh. He’d been brushing my hair whenever things got rough, and sometimes, it was the only thing that calmed me. I should’ve felt guilty for putting him through this. A small, nagging part of my brain even wanted to blame him for what I was going through, though I knew it was a ridiculous thought.

The sad truth was my beast didn’t care. She was furious. Angry at the world and so full of rage that it scared me. What if I couldn’t control her? King said this was normal, though I had my doubts. He and Axel both assured me it would get better, that I’d learn to control the shifts and everything else that came with my new life.

King lifted the brush again, and I moved on the bed to give him space to sit beside me. He began pulling the stiff bristles through my hair, and I closed my eyes, focusing on my breathing exercises.

“How do you know I can do it?” I finally asked, my voice quiet.

He tipped my head back and met my eyes. His gaze was honest and steady, offering a reassurance I wasn’t sure I deserved. The thing inside me didn’t like his stare.

“You carried Che for miles after being bitten by a hellhound. I doubt there’s anything you can’t do.”

He and Axel thought I did something amazing. I barely remembered it. The only thing I remembered clearly was the single thought: Save Che. I didn’t know where the burst of bravery had come from, but I was so relieved it showed up.

I couldn’t leave Che behind. And what those monsters did to Boot…

“Breathe, Marinah.”

I hung onto King’s voice as the sudden rush of Kedorine 5, or K-5, as King called it, threatened to shove its way through my veins. K-5, the so-called miracle that triggered the shift for Shadow Warriors, was packed with other powerful hormones too. It wasn’t something you could catch; it wasn’t a disease. It was something you were born with. And lucky me, I happened to be the first female Warrior in over two hundred years.

“Inhale, count to five, exhale,” King coached calmly. “Don’t let your beast win. You decide when she’s in charge, not her.”

Sweat broke out across my freshly washed skin as the red haze slowly receded. I managed to tug Beast back where she belonged.

“I’ve got it,” I wheezed through clenched teeth, my voice growing stronger. The room swam into focus, and my breathing slowed.

It took most Shadow Warriors a year or longer to control their beasts enough to be around humans. For most, the shifts began when they reached puberty, though some were older. Their fathers pulled them out of school before it started, homeschooling them to keep their secret and to keep humans safe. Boys. Always male. Not me. I was the lucky female. Woohoo.

Humans would be present tonight, and I needed to remember how fragile they were. As of today, I barely had control over my clawed hands, and I was lucky I hadn’t taken out my own eye. My teeth, more fang than anything, in and out of Warrior form, were another problem entirely. My jaws ached with the constant urge to rip and tear at anything that irritated me. It was as if they had a will of their own.

“Talk to me. How’re you doing?”

I glanced at King, who was watching me closely, studying every nuance of my expression.

“I’m ready for shoes,” I said, hoping to ease some of the worry.

He rested the brush on the bed and grabbed the sneakers, holding them up for me.

“Did someone do this for you when you were young? When you changed for the first time?” I asked, staring at the shoes and trying to remember how to get them on my feet.

Claws.

The whisper in my mind wasn’t as terrifying as it had been at first. Now, it was just unsettling. I ignored the beast inside while King knelt in front of me and slipped the first shoe onto my foot.

Once he tied the laces, he rocked back on his heels and grabbed the other shoe.

“Yes,” he said, answering my question. “My father did all this for me. My mom was gone by the time I hit puberty, so Dad was all I had.”

“Gone?” I asked, seizing on his words. Whenever King talked, it gave me something else to focus on, making it easier to push back against the strange force inside me.

“She left us,” he said simply, his voice distant. “They’d been in love. It’s what I remembered most before I became a Shadow Warrior. Unfortunately, my dad had never been honest with her about who and what he was, or what I would become.”

King finished tying the laces on my second shoe and stood, extending his hand to me. “I didn’t appreciate my father much back then,” he admitted, his tone softer now.

I stood there, stunned by the first part of King’s explanation and confused by the second. “Your mom never knew what he was?” I asked as I rose with his help.

“She found out by accident, and things didn’t go well afterward,” he said, his tone edged with sadness.

“But this was before humans knew about you. He let her leave, even knowing how dangerous that could be?” I pressed. King had given me small pieces of Shadow Warrior history over time, likely more than any human knew.

But that was the thing. I was no longer human. Had never been human. Talk about being in the dark.

King’s lips curved into a slightly twisted smile. “He wouldn’t kill her, if that’s what you mean. It goes against who we are. He also knew she loved me and would never endanger my life.”

Wow. It was tragic, and my heart swelled with emotion, triggering another surge of K-5 in my veins. This time, I was ready. I slammed it back, forcing it to my will.

“Did you see her after that?” I asked, catching the slight smile of approval from King at my ability to regain control.

“I saw her once or twice,” he admitted. “Those were difficult years. I fought my dad at every turn and made his life hell.”

That didn’t sound like the King I knew. “Why?”

He shrugged. “Angry at the world.” His eyes shifted, the deep blue darkening to black. “I wanted to be a normal kid, not a monster. It was my uncle who set me on the right path. You may have heard of Greystone.”

“Greystone was your uncle?” I asked, the pieces clicking into place. It made sense. The Federation had always wondered where King came from and how he had taken over so quickly after Greystone’s death.

“Yes,” he replied, the one word held grief. “Greystone was my uncle.”

“My father respected him greatly,” I said, recalling the rare occasions my father spoke of him.

“Greystone respected your father too,” King said. “They were friends, and my uncle greatly mourned his death.”

Greystone died six months after my dad. Unlike my father, he wasn’t killed by hellhounds.

“Humans killed him,” I said softly, the sadness in my voice matching the weight of the memory. It had been a big deal. I remembered soldiers celebrating, thinking that with Greystone gone, the Shadow Warriors would finally fall to their knees.

What they hadn’t expected was King. Within days, he took over, and his savageness forced the Federation to change its course. A month later, the peace treaty was signed.

“The Federation betrayed my uncle, and then they killed him,” King said, anger sparking in his voice.

That anger caused a twitch in my beast, but I yanked her back, forcing her down again. No! You will not win. She receded, and I celebrated my small victory with an internal happy dance.

I cupped King’s jaw, rising onto my tiptoes to press a gentle kiss on his lips. “I’m so sorry for what they did to your uncle,” I whispered.

Our eyes met briefly, and in that moment, I saw so much in his gaze. It held pain, strength, and an unshakable loyalty.

“You’re not one of them, Marinah,” he said quietly. “You’re one of us.”

I hadn’t fully accepted what I’d become. Confusion and conflict churned inside me. It was a tangle of emotions I couldn’t sort. Was this good? Bad? Both? I couldn’t tell. It felt like I was trapped in a nightmare, one I couldn’t wake up from. And even if I did, what would I find? Normalcy was a joke in a world where hellhounds hunted and killed everything they got their hands on.

These thoughts always brought me back to my father. King had told me my mom was descended from one of the female warriors who first landed here when they arrived. My father must have known what she was. My own history confirmed it. They became vegetarians after I was born. Even King said it was a way to keep the beast from manifesting.

I thought back to the beginning of puberty, when my mom sat me down for the talk. While other girls got the sex talk, I got the control talk.

“You need to control your anger,” she’d told me lovingly, but there was something else she didn’t say.

Looking back, I didn’t think I’d been all that angry as a teenager at least not compared to how I felt now with so many unanswered questions. It only took a stray thought for me to go into fury mode. My hormones felt like a raging storm, and I was barely hanging on to a thin string in a hurricane.

“Do your people know what I am?” I asked, the question spilling out before I could stop it. It was a ridiculous worry, but I felt awkward, unsure of where I fit in this new world.

King took my hand and led me out of the infirmary for the first time since I shifted. “Your people,” he admonished gently. “My personal guard knows,” he said. “They’re all part of my council and will only speak under my direction. The others only know that you were injured and have been recuperating.”

“What about Che and his mother?”

“Same. They’re human. We’ll have a council session tomorrow to decide how to proceed.”

We turned down another hallway, and King led me to a door I hadn’t noticed before. He opened it and guided me through. On the other side, three Shadow Warriors stood together a few feet away. They came to attention the moment they saw King.

He gently pulled me forward so I was standing in front of him, his hands resting protectively on my shoulders. “Marinah,” he said in the soft, low voice he used with me now, “may I introduce you to my personal guard.”

The men kept their eyes averted, and I immediately recognized them from the first trip in the car. I’d also seen them around over the past months. Minus Boot. The thought hit hard, and pain slid through me. I forced myself to pull my beast back in.

“This is Nokita,” King began.

He was a younger Shadow Warrior, maybe an inch shorter than King. He stepped forward, and I noticed the same signature blue eyes. Cargo pants on his legs and leather straps over his bare chest. He nodded; his gaze fixed downward. The whole no-eye-contact rule had taken on a new meaning now, especially with the low grumbling inside me that started whenever King or Axel met my gaze.

“Labyrinth,” King continued.

The next Warrior stepped forward and Nokita returned to his sea. He was huge, maybe bigger than King, with a slight grin that softened his carved-from-stone features. Like Nokita, he was dressed in Shadow Warrior gear.

“And Beck,” King finished.

This one I knew. He was grumpy and unfriendly. His eyes met mine briefly. I had no idea what his expression meant, but it didn’t feel like kindness. Unlike the others, Beck was dressed casually, wearing jeans and, of all things, an orange T-shirt.

“May I speak to them directly?” I asked King, unsure of the proper protocol.

“Yes,” he said, though his fingers tightened slightly on my shoulders, giving me the distinct impression he’d rather I didn’t.

I ignored his preference. “Thank you for what you did the night of the attack,” I said, addressing the men. “I don’t remember much, but King told me you’re the ones who recovered Boot’s body.”

They nodded awkwardly, their eyes darting anywhere but at me. The discomfort in the room was palpable.

King gently turned me so I was facing away from the men, and my beast, she who shall not be named, didn’t like it at all. I started counting backward by threes, a trick I’d picked up when I was under the Federation’s rule. It helped quiet her now and gave me a shot at focusing on King’s words. I’d counted as a human to calm my anxiety. The new me took anxiety to an entirely different level. The beast fought, clawing for control, but I remained grounded, clinging to my human side.

“Axel is also one of my guards,” King said. “His primary responsibility is my health and that of my men. These Warriors will help you when needed. They’ll stay close tonight and act as a barrier if things get out of hand.”

“You’d rather no one else know what I am?” I asked, the thought curling uneasily in my mind. The idea that King might be embarrassed by me stung more than I wanted to admit.

His gaze softened, filled with compassion. “For now,” he said. “We’ll discuss the best way to handle things tomorrow.”

It wasn’t the answer I needed, but I forced myself to let it go. I took a deep breath, fighting another surge of the beast, and stayed in human form. There were more immediate concerns to focus on: Stay near King. Check. His guards would protect me. Check. Don’t eat humans. Double check.

“Then I’m ready,” I said, trying to inject more confidence into my voice than I felt.

King guided me back to his side and led me from the room. Beck followed close behind while Nokita and Labyrinth took the lead. As we walked, I glanced over my shoulder and caught Beck’s eyes. He looked away quickly, but not before I noticed something unexpected in his gaze. It wasn’t hatred or dislike. I would swear his eyes held a touch of wonder.