Page 34 of Warrick (Rocky Mountain Pack #1)

He lets out a hollow laugh before setting the photo down.

“Guess that worked out for him in the end.” He grabs up the other photo and I recognize it immediately.

It was the time we snuck out to the flower fields on a clear night to lie under the stars.

I talked his ear off all night about the different constellations.

My mouth drops open as I look over to the room we left.

It makes so much sense now. My head whips back to him.

He is smirking as he brings over the photo to me.

The cold frame bites into my skin as I pull it from him.

Our smiling faces are blown from the flash as we squint against the bright light.

I run my finger along the faces of our younger selves.

So young and excited about what the future would hold.

“I...” I look up to him. “I didn’t know you had this.”

He sits down next to me, pulling the frame to sit between us. “What would you tell your younger self if you could?”

I glance between the frame and his face so close to me I can smell the tears mingling with his scent.

“I would tell her that sometimes life makes little sense, the journey isn’t clear, but trust yourself to make the right decisions as you go.

” I angle my head to see his reaction. I watch as he contemplates what I said, his eyebrow rising, the quirk of his head, the dip of the edge of his mouth. “What about you?”

He is quiet for so long that I almost wonder if he will answer me, before he whispers out, “It was never your fault.”

I slip my hand down his thigh to where his hand dangles between his spread legs. My fingers graze across the rough patches along his palm to lace our fingers together. I squeeze his hand as I shift to look at him. The photo drops into our laps as I let go of it to turn his face toward mine.

“You are right. It was never your fault. Not your parents’ car accident, not them passing away, and not even the emotions you felt.

We never know how we will feel, react, or handle the challenges life throws our way.

We can only take it one moment at a time and hope we make the right decisions along the way.

” I splay my hand across his cheek as I use my thumb to swipe away the tears.

“Your parents loved you and would never choose to not be here. But there is something you are wrong about.” I quirk my eyebrow at him as he continues to stare at me. “You do deserve to be loved.”

He attempts to shake his head, but I don’t waver in my hold on him.

“You do. Everyone deserves to be loved and love another in their lifetime. There is fulfillment in those feelings that you will never achieve anywhere else. Something in knowing there is someone always in your corner, to pick you up when you stumble, to lift your chin when you are down. Knowing each day when you come home from work, there is someone there to share in the burden of life. To share the wonderful moments, the highs and lows with.”

Letting his face go, I pick up the photo and hold it up again between us. “Keeping this photo means that you never let go of this moment. On some level, I think you never moved past this guy.”

He quirks an eyebrow at me. “What do you mean?”

A timid smile crosses my face. “Some part of you is still here at this time. I think for you to be able to really move forward, you will need to let it go. It’s going to hurt, but I’m here for you.”

He shakes his head as the tears fall harder. He pulls his hand from mine and attempts to stand up. My hand comes to his shoulder with a slight pressure. “Don’t run away,” I whisper between us.

His eyes snap back to mine, seeing the earnest emotions shining in them.

“Warrick, why did you bring me here?” I ask without shying away from the hard question.

His eyebrows dip together as his eyes flick back and forth as if searching for something. “What do you mean?”

“Why am I here right now? You said you have been dreaming of this moment, what exactly have you dreamed?”

He looks from my face to the room just behind me and back to my face. “I’ve dreamed of moments together in that room. Reading books, sharing stories, and filling your library with all the books that we read together.”

“So you have dreamed of a life of companionship where we share something we both love?” I run my hand along his arm, back down to his hand resting on his thigh.

He nods his head before swallowing hard. “Yes, I guess that’s exactly what I’ve been doing.”

“Do you think you are ready for it?”

He jerks back from me as if I slapped him.

“Wait, before you jump to any conclusions, think about what I just asked.”

He sits for a moment in quiet contemplation as his thumb sweeps back and forth across the back of my hand.

“I think I’m ready to try.” He shifts to drop his knees to the floor as he turns to face me.

He grabs both my hands in his as he keeps sweeping his thumbs across my hands.

He looks up at me with an open, earnest expression.

“I’m going to fuck up. I’ll stumble, probably drop the ball a time or two.

” He chuckles quietly as I smile at him.

“But, I can promise you that each day when I wake up, I’m going to do everything I can to be the best man I can be for you.

I promise when I stumble, I’ll stand back up.

If I fuck up, tell me. I want to love you for the rest of my life, through all the best moments and all of our worst moments.

I’ll be your shelter to weather every storm. ”

“This is a lot to process, Warrick. As I’m sure you’re aware of.

While I understand where you are coming from, I need time.

” It’s crushing to watch his face fall. I’m sure he was expecting for me to fall into his arms, declaring my undying love for him.

While I do feel that pull to him, it doesn’t erase all the pain from the years past. It won’t take away the fear that he will cheat again or choose someone else instead of me.

He lets out a heavy breath. “Aspen, I don’t expect you to jump into my arms right away. I know that everything that has happened is going to take time to move beyond. I’m here begging for the opportunity to show you I’ll be different this time around, I promise.”

“Warrick, you opened up, telling me about your parents, I’m so proud of you.

I should have been a better mate for you.

Instead, I left you to wallow in your pain.

You aren’t the only one who needs to be better for the other.

How can I sit here acting as though you are the only one who needs to make changes?

” My heart squeezes with realization. He really believes he is the only one who did wrong, and that’s my fault.

“You don’t have to change anything about you Aspen.” He gushes as he leans forward, brushing the tendril of hair behind my ear. “You’re perfect exactly the way you are.”

“As sweet as that sentiment is, it’s far from true.

Nobody is perfect. Relationships, successful ones, are two people who show up for each other each day.

Choosing them over everything else, but remembering you also have to care for yourself.

You can’t be perfect, and I don’t want you to be.

What I want is for you to choose us each day, even the hard ones.

Because this isn’t a fairytale, we won’t live a life of constant sunshine and rainbows.

We will have challenging days, days where we might not like each other, but as long as we keep showing up for each other, we will make it through it. ”

“See! This is what I’m talking about! You know so much more than I do about all of this. How?” his eyebrows scrunch together in confusion. “It’s the books, isn’t it?”

A laugh escapes me. “I mean, they help. You know everyone thinks it’s just books, but really, it allows you to experience so many situations that you may or may not ever experience in your life.

I think it helps you better understand the world, especially relationships.

At least in my experience.” I won’t ever claim to be an expert, actually I’m far from it.

My two only relationships have been such different experiences.

Warrick, with his lack of concern for me as a person, but instead treating me as an object in his life, until the moment I found out I wasn’t his only object in his life.

To Chase, who has been loving, caring, compassionate, and treats me as if every thought I have matters.

Sure, I had a string of first dates in college, mainly me trying to move past the pain of Warrick’s betrayals.

None of them stuck, none of them were him, and that frustrated me more than anything.

The one person who hurt me the most was the one person I compared all of them to.

Why was it different with Chase? I think because I knew it wouldn’t be more than companionship, so I treated it differently.

I’ve learned so much about myself under the careful care of Chase.

But, the biggest lesson I learned? That Warrick and I would never last going the way we were.

I would’ve been in a loveless bond, with a mate who treated me like an object.

While I wouldn’t have been happy with him because I would’ve expected the fairytale prince who worships me.

I think we needed this time to learn more about ourselves before we were thrust together.

Maybe with time, the pain, the heartbreak, and exploration of ourselves, we are better for it. We can be the mates we both needed. I hate to say it, but maybe it all happened exactly how it was meant to happen.