Page 16 of War Games (Jacky Leon #11)

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CHAPTER FIFTEEN

B y the time Dirk and I got home on Friday evening, we were exhausted. Sixty witches across Texas. Some had skills that could have made them a good lead, some had businesses, some had facilities, and some had connections.

All of them were dead ends.

Grueling work that led to nothing, and that pissed me off, a terrible combination with the exhaustion. I was snappy once we arrived home.

“Jacky, do you want help unpacking?” Dirk asked, helping me get my bag from the back of the truck.

“No, I’m fine,” I hissed.

“I know you’re disappointed that we didn’t turn up any new information. This was just the first time out. We have a lot more names to get through. Then we’ll start looking into other witches if we have to. We’ll find?—”

“Dirk, I just want to report to Zuri and be left alone. I love you, but we’ve spent every minute of the last five days together, and I don’t feel like having this conversation.” It wasn’t the first time he’d attempted it. I wasn’t sure if it was the werecat part of me craving time in my own space or if I was just that pissed off by the fact that it felt like I wasted five days of my life for nothing.

Dirk left quickly.

“Well, at least he’ll have time this evening to make sure he’s happy with everything Landon and I did for the wedding,” Heath said, coming out the front door. He would have heard the entire exchange.

“That’s good,” I said, trying not to be snappy. There was a wedding on Sunday, but not even that made me feel better. I should have been stoked, but all I was thinking about was how I didn’t learn anything all week that could help anyone.

“I’m going to take Carey out to the movies, maybe even grab dinner,” Heath said, reaching for the front door again as I hauled my bag up the stairs. “Carey, meet me at my truck. We’re going to go eat out.”

“Okay, Dad! I’ll be there in five.”

“Thank you.”

I walked past him, knowing he was clearing the building for me to be in my piss poor mood without seeing anyone. I threw my bag by the laundry and went into my office, sitting down as I silently fumed.

I waited for Heath and Carey to leave before I attempted to call Zuri. I ended up getting Kushim.

“I’m looking for Zuri,” I said, rubbing my eyes as he yawned. It was late or early, depending on your perspective, in his part of the world.

“I’ll let her know you called, and she’ll get back to you. It could be a few hours, so if you want to get some sleep?—”

“I’ll be waiting,” I said. “Sorry, Kushim. Just let her know to call me when she gets the chance. I would prefer to get this conversation over before I go to sleep.”

With a quick okay, he hung up, and I was left to stew and wait.

And wait.

And keep waiting.

It was five hours before Zuri could call me back, nearly eleven at night for me. I was too tired to even consider what time it was in her time zone.

“Hello, little sister,” Zuri greeted, looking tired herself, but she was having late nights thanks to whatever magical experiments she and Subira were doing. “You have the report from the first week, I take it? You look a bit worse for wear.”

“I’m already tired, and that was just the first week. It was all for nothing. Is that what I’m forced to deal with? Following dead leads that someone else already figured out? It feels like a waste of time.”

“It was good to verify the investigation held by the witches wasn’t fraudulent. We can use that. We can look at different avenues, other witches who might not have seemed as important.” Zuri was writing something down. “I’m going to send this full report from you and Dirk to Davor. He’s been scouring emails, finances, and the rest. He’ll be able to take all these names off the list.”

“What about the Alaska leads? The witches were hired to kill that couple by other supernaturals.”

“We tried that already; the Tribunal werewolves took care of it. The other supernaturals in that area hired the witches to take care of the thieves but didn’t specify a way to kill them. They had no idea the moon cursed were going to be used like that. Beyond that, they had minimal contact, and the person they were in contact with was identified… and found dead in Alaska. You killed her, based on the report.”

I groaned.

“When did we figure all that out?” I asked, rubbing my face.

“Father had his meeting with Callahan and Corissa, and this is what they could give him. Davor quickly verified it from what you three were able to copy before the Tribunal took all the materials from that cabin. It was easier for the Tribunal werewolves to deal with than our family. We’re not a large group. They can take care of more data at once. Luckily, we have two experienced witches and two more with enough power to be trained and help, so Mother and I did all of that research in exchange for their efforts.”

“And I’ve been left here, looking for a needle in a haystack,” I muttered. “I need to do more than what I did this week. I have to do more. This was miserable for Dirk and me. After what I did?—”

“Don’t, Jacky,” Zuri said softly. There was no power behind it, only sad sympathy, so I continued.

“I killed a boy?—”

“You killed a werecat in its Last Change,” she snapped, her sympathy having already evaporated. “Even saving him from the control of the witches wasn’t going to fix that . Whatever happened to him, wherever he came from? None of that could have been answered by him. He was never coming back. There was no saving him, Jacky. I need you to understand that.”

“I do?—”

“Do you? Because from where I’m standing, you are either willfully beating yourself up over someone you couldn’t save, or you are being willfully ignorant of the fact that you couldn’t. Not even the greatest witches among the moon cursed could have saved him. You certainly couldn’t. I won’t tell you not to grieve the boy. I am going to tell you to stop driving yourself into an early grave.”

I hung up on her.

She called me back immediately. A rush of fear from actually hanging up on her made me pick it back up.

“And you will not do that again. I am sacrificing precious time with my son to deal with all this, just like Jabari is sacrificing it with Makalo, and you are with Carey. Don’t you ever hang up on me again. We’re on the same side, Jacky.”

I winced and tried to become very small as she jumped into that rant the moment our video call was reconnected.

“Sorry,” I mumbled when she was done chewing me out.

“Apology accepted,” she growled. “Now, with Landon and Dirk getting married, they deserve a honeymoon. You let them take one at home for next week instead of going over to Louisiana. Push it back a week. Instead, we can discuss other ways for you to help. Niko is talking to werecats he knows. I know you’ve been in some contact with other werecats in your region. Reach out to them about any potentially suspicious witch activity.”

“I already asked them to let me know if they see anything. And to reach out if they know of any werecats missing.”

“Good. Follow up. Make sure they are still reachable just to verify they are safe.”

“I can do that.” It was the right thing to do. They were all adults and far older than me for the most part, but it was my responsibility to make sure they were okay.

“Thank you…” Zuri sighed. “Jacky… you’ve been a little off.”

“I’ll be fine,” I whispered. “It’s late. I really should go. I haven’t even told Heath a proper hello yet.”

“Go. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.” I let her end the call and closed my eyes, fighting against the dark feelings threatening to reclaim me today. A deep well of grief I couldn’t banish or move on from. It haunted me, and all I could do was slap on my best face and try to push forward.

Pushing away from the desk, my chair nearly rolled into the window. I tried to school my expression, keeping it neutral. Breathing in and out, pushing down the grief, I counted to ten. It was nights like this, with my mood already low, that I thought about the people I couldn’t save. I couldn’t go to bed thinking like this, so I fought it, thinking of everything I could do the next day if I just got some sleep.

Once I felt like I had it in control enough, I left my office to see the dark rooms of my home. Carey had already gone to bed; the soft music in her room was just background noise for her. Heath would be upstairs, either sleeping or waiting on me.

I went up, gently opening the door to find him in bed but not asleep. He was reading a book with only the small side table light giving a warm glow. His stormy-blue eyes met mine, and slowly, he put a bookmark in place and closed it. I slid inside and closed the door quietly as he put it down.

“Sorry for the attitude when I got home,” I said softly, feeling guilty.

“You’ve been on the road all week, talking to strangers and thinking about whether they might try to kill you if you turned your back on them. You’ve wanted to find some sort of resolution for things I can’t help you with. I got Carey out, so she didn’t see it. You needed the alone time. I don’t like seeing you like that, but I understand it. Let’s leave it at that.” Heath sighed before reaching out to pat the bed. “Come on.”

I stripped down to my underwear and crawled into the bed, putting my leg over one of his, my arm around his waist. He didn’t lie down and get comfortable with me, but that didn’t bother me. I wasn’t really ready to sleep yet.

“There’s a wedding on Sunday,” I said softly. “Dirk didn’t tell me anything because I focused back on the trip, knowing you and Landon could handle everything, but I saw him texting a lot through the week. Tell me about it, please?”

“Green and black are the wedding colors,” he said simply. “The boys will be in black, so will all the men in the wedding. Women will be in a deep forest green. I tried to convince them to wear white suits, but Landon didn’t feel white worked for him and Dirk. I took Carey, and we called Aisha to get advice on what dresses you two should wear. Same color but different cuts. There are only four people in the wedding after the grooms, so it’s not too many people to dress quickly.”

“Yeah?” That was good. I liked the sound of the colors.

“The ceremony will be right outside here, with the trees as a backdrop. Teagan, a werewolf of many talents and mysteries, can marry them. I didn’t ask for details. He just said he could do it.”

“It’s always Teagan,” I said, chuckling. “With weird information, knowing people, what to do…”

“It is.” Heath's voice was dry, but I could smell how funny he really thought it was. “Back to the plans. Carey and I will stand on Landon’s side. You and Niko, who arrived back this morning, will be on Dirk’s side. We’re the only ones who get to see the full ceremony.”

“That’s lovely,” I said, smiling into his side.

“The pack and the staff of Kick Shot will be preparing for the reception. The pack will be attending the reception, so they agreed to assist the staff in preparing so the employees didn’t have to come in too early. Oliver let it slip to them that two werewolves were getting married, and volunteers are allowed to work on Sunday. A few decided not to. The ones who did will be getting substantial bonuses. And tips. They’ll be well compensated.”

“Trust Oliver to make a small thing into a bigger thing he can take pictures of to promote the restaurant,” I said, now shaking my head awkwardly.

“We have a photographer; I forgot about that. She’ll be at the ceremony, taking pictures quietly and getting some pictures of all of us before we go to the reception.”

“Sounds like you have everything covered. That’s good because if it was me, it would be a disaster. I wouldn’t have been a single help at all, so it’s good I was out of town.”

“Hey, don’t say that.” He ran a hand through my hair. “You are incredibly capable, Jacky.”

“I haven’t felt like it in a long time,” I whispered, admitting to that painful truth. “I jump into situations and barely survive them. Or I don’t get what I need to help someone… or I kill the people I help.” I let go of him and rolled over.

He shifted down, wrapping his arms around my waist and kissing my bare shoulder gently.

“It’s been hard for a few months. I know that just as well as you do. There’s so much I wish I could help with, but I can’t. Being in my position, there’s nothing I do for certain things. You can’t beat yourself up, especially not for the things out of your control. Think about everything you’ve done. You saved Arlo from being framed for murder. You helped free the surviving werewolves of the Dallas pack, and they all have better lives now. You’ve done a lot to help people, Jacky.”

I couldn’t help Fenris. I couldn’t help the moon cursed in Alaska, like that poor boy. I’m no help right now.

That was what I wanted to say.

“Thank you.”