Page 18 of Waiting for You (Balsam Cliffs #3)

Goddamn Hunter. I feel like spiraling because I don’t know what’s going on or where we’re going or what we’re doing.

Tires crunch on the gravel outside. I peer out the window so I can watch him without him seeing me.

Why is he so sexy from the workboots to the Carhartt jacket?

His jeans look like they’re molded to his thick thighs, and his gray Henley under the jacket is stretched tight across his chest. He probably doesn’t even work out and he looks like that from swinging hammers all day.

He knocks on the doors, not seeing me on the other side peeking through the curtain. Pulling open the door I get to watch his face as he takes in the outfit he bought me. His eyes widen in appreciation.

I was surprised at how well everything fit and how comfortable it all is. I already texted the girls to see if they wanted to go shopping in the next couple weeks. I think an early Christmas present to myself should be a comfy wardrobe more acclimated to Balsam Cliffs than Portland.

“Hey.”

“Hey, you look gorgeous.” He focuses on the swell of my breasts that’s accentuated in the tight tee.

“Well, you should think so, you picked it out.”

A grin ticks up at the corner of his mouth. “I should tell you the truth. I didn’t pick it out. I told Hazel what we’re doing and showed her a photo of you. She made the magic happen.”

Who the fuck is Hazel?

“Well she did a great job. Everything fits like a glove. And it’s so soft.” I rub my hand over the sleeve of the tee that feels like silk.

“I’m glad you like everything. Hazel is amazing at knowing what people want and need. When I was building her husband’s office at the back of her boutique it was amazing to watch her. She has a gift for sure.”

My body relaxes a little bit after hearing that Hazel is a married client. Now I won’t mind shopping at her store.

“You ready to take me on this surprise adventure?” I step closer to him, but he doesn’t move.

“I’m going to kiss you first, so if you don’t want that, you should probably tell me now.”

I press up on my toes, hovering for a moment before pressing my lips to his. His hands wrap around my waist pulling me flush against him. My body was made for him and I’m afraid that waiting any longer to give myself what I want is getting harder by the day.

He backs me into the door frame, his hand climbing up over my breasts and around my neck, pushing me further into the frame, boxing me in.

Murmuring into my lips, he says, “As much as I want to continue this, we have a date. And I have a basket from Violet.”

“Mmm.” I lick my lips when he leans back. “I’m not sure which sounds better.”

“Lucky you, you’re going to get both.” Lacing his fingers with mine he pulls me toward his truck after locking my door. “Come on.”

“Where are we going? Do I get to know now?”

“All I’ll tell you is that we’re going to my house.” He pulls the truck door open.

Once I’m buckled in the passenger’s seat he moves over to the driver’s side and backs us out of the driveway to head to his house.

I’ve imagined what his house looks like for years.

Is it messy? Clean? Modern? Rustic? On the water?

In the middle of the woods like Wyatt? After seeing his construction in my own place, I imagine a beautiful mix of rustic and modern.

He turns within minutes down a long driveway lined with a white picket fence. An actual white picket fence. And then a beautiful seaside cottage comes into view. A cedar shake cottage with navy blue shutters and matching flower boxes full of fall flowers in hues of orange and red.

“This is your house? How did I not know how close you were?” My jaw has to be on the floor.

“You never asked.” He shrugs simply before putting the truck in park in a matching garage.

“It’s beautiful.” It reminds me of a house I loved when we were dating. I probably sent him the listing and talked about every day for months. I was so sad when it sold.

“Want to see the inside?” He asks, opening my door.

“Is this just you trying to get in my pants?”

“I thought that was already part of the plan? I do owe you grovelling orgasms don’t I?”

“Touché.” I hop out and follow him into the house.

Walking in I’m blown away by the interior just as much as I was by the outside.

It’s, in fact, a perfect mixture of an old beach cottage with just the right amount of sleek lines and upgrades.

It still has everything I ever loved about that old cottage but met with functionality and beautiful granite countertops.

“Hunter.” I run my fingers along the island. “This is absolutely stunning.”

“I used all your ideas from that old cottage. I kept every single memory of you and I manifested it into my existence. If I never got you again, I’d live with your memories instead.”

A tear wells in the corner of my eye, unwelcome. I turn in search of the master suite.

“Down the hall, last door on the left,” he yells after me knowing exactly where I’m going.

I push open the door and his scent of citrus and wood hits me.

The first thing I notice is the large French doors that overlook his backyard. Walking over to them the next thing I see is that this cottage is on the cliffs. Giving the perfect view of the horizon as it glows with the setting sun. Turning into the bathroom I find exactly what I’m looking for.

A clawfoot tub next to a picture window that overlooks the ocean.

“This was the first thing I renovated in the house. I made sure this room was perfect in case you ever came back to me. Fortunately, or unfortunately, I had a lot more time to get the rest of the house ready too.” I swallow hard, trying to keep the tears at bay. “Come see your surprise.”

He pushes the French doors open and leads me down the hill to the beach where I see a fire ready to be set in the sand.

A blanket appears almost out of thin air and that’s when I notice the large picnic basket placed by his feet. He spreads out the blanket next to the firepit. Crouching down he lights the fire starter in the middle of the teepee of firewood. The fire roars to life when it catches the kindling.

“Come sit with me.” He sits back, spreading his legs for me to join him and lean up against him like we used to do down in his parent’s cove. “I haven’t looked in the basket yet, but Violet packed it so I know everything is delicious.”

Opening the lid, I see a very well thought out, labeled picnic basket. Chuckling, I take out the container labeled “appetizer.”

I read the note first.

This is a harvest cheeseball, it’s rolled in crushed pistachios and dried cranberries. There’s some sesame crackers in here too, serve them together. I even included a small spreader knife. Don’t fuck this up.

The note earns a deep belly laugh from me and a raised brow from Hunter.

“What’s so funny?” I hand him the note from Violet.

He reads for a moment before his laugh matches mine. “She’s rooting for us.”

“So it seems.”

Am I rooting for us? The nostalgia of our old dates in the cove and the house it’s all messing with me. I’m torn between wanting to stay mad and wanting to give into everything he’s offering.

“Why didn’t you stay with me, Hunt?” I turn in his lap to face him. “I would have worked through whatever shit you brought home with you. We would have done it together.”

“I was scared. The guys, they were telling me all these horror stories about Dear John letters, cheating wives, the horrors we’d see and bring home.

How they hurt their wives with their bullshit.

I didn’t want to do that to you. I couldn’t survive the deployment and a Dear John letter from you.

” He runs his hand through his hair. “Fuck Eve, I couldn’t even tell Momma that I was leaving.

I sat there like a coward while G called her and Pops.

I let him do all the talking. I didn’t even call her for the first six months I was gone.

No letters, no care packages. I deferred to G for it all.

I couldn’t take the guilt of what I was doing to you.

Thinking of you moving on with your life without me destroyed me, but I knew that putting you through that would destroy both of us. ”

“But you did destroy me.” Tears well in my eyes again. “I was numb for so long after you left.”

“I didn’t destroy as much as I would have.

After that deployment, after…what happened…

Gunnar and I were fucked up. I couldn’t be around anyone.

I watched one of my best friends die, Peach.

Right in front of me. I was no one to be around after that.

I was drinking, fighting, getting arrested.

That would have shattered you. It was everything I was afraid of. ”

Reaching out I cup his face in my hands. “Hunt. I hate that you went through that alone. I’m not going to pretend to know what that was like, or what it would have been like with us. But I just wish you’d talked to me.”

“I know. I’m sorry. I really fucked it up.

But at least we have a chance now, I hope.

I know if you were there after, we’d have no chance.

I would have broken you down until you had no choice but to hate me and all that love would have been chased out of your heart.

Filled with my dark memories instead. I wasn’t a man who deserved you.

It’s why I didn’t come for you. When I was a man I liked again, you were with Neil. And I just wanted you to be happy.”

“I wasn’t.”

“I know that now. And I promise I’ll make you happy, Peach. I’ll do whatever I have to. I’m not letting you go again.”

I turn back to face the fire and snuggle into his embrace. God, I want that too. “Please don’t break me, Hunt.”

We sit in silence for a while staring at the fire until the sun slips below the horizon and the stars come out. He feeds me without words, without letting go of me physically. These moments under the stars have filled a small part of my soul I thought was lost long ago.