Page 41

DAHLIA

H oly. Fucking. Hells.

It’s torture.

It’s bliss.

It’s agony.

Alaric has brought me to the very edge of climax with his tongue and his fingers and his fangs so many times that I’ve lost count. It’s been hours or maybe days, and I’m covered in sweat and trembling from the need for release, but I have never in all of my life been so aroused, so wholly connected to or dependent on another.

“Do you think you’ve learned patience, Dahlia?” Alaric’s voice rumbles against my inner thigh before he places another soft kiss there.

Part of me wants to say no. Part of me wants this game to never end. But the other part is so desperate to find release that I finally give in.

“Yes,” I say, voice low and raspy.

“Hmmm, that’s a good girl.”

I whimper and then cry out as he licks me again. My body bows, every little touch enough to set me on fire now. He spreads me wide and pushes his tongue deep inside, making me cry out and writhe as much as I’m able being tied up. Not being able to close my legs even a little makes the pleasure that much more intense, makes each lap of his tongue somehow feel better than ever before. I’m already close, having been constantly hovering on the edge, desperately chasing the release that won’t come.

“Alaric,” I moan as he rolls his tongue expertly. “Please,” I beg, pulling against the restraints, more desperate and frenzied than I’ve ever been, could ever have even imagined being.

“Come, Keeva. Come for me,” he growls as he shifts, latching his mouth over my clit and sucking hard, two fingers suddenly thrusting inside and curling in just the right spot

I scream as the strongest climax I’ve ever experienced rocks through me like an explosion. My body convulses, pulling against the leather straps until they creak and whine, and before I can even begin to come down, before the spasms even begin to slow, Alaric is above me, sliding inside and kissing me deeply. The straps holding my legs fall away and I wrap my thighs around him, desperate to hold him to me, needing him so badly it scares me. My hands are still tied, but he reaches above me and intertwines our fingers as he moves, rocking his hips in long, measured thrusts. I would have thought he’d be in a frenzy, going what I always lovingly refer to as “primal vampire,” lost to everything but his basest desires and needs, but as always, my Alaric surprises me.

He pulls back and holds my gaze as he moves, my orgasm never quite stopping completely and already building on itself again.

“I love you, Dahlia,” he whispers. My heart swells and cracks finally hearing the words.

“I love you too.”

He closes his eyes, his body shuddering. “Say it again,” he begs.

I do. I say it over and over as he moves, as I clench his hands so tightly I’m sure I would have broken his fingers had he been a normal man. He growls it once more at my neck before he sinks his fangs into my flesh and another orgasm rocks through me. I cry out and cling to him as I fall, spiraling out into the nothingness. He follows behind, roaring against my throat and collapsing on top of me.

We lay there for what might be hours, both out of breath and slicked with sweat. He eventually moves to the side and reaches above me to untie my hands, bringing my chaffed wrists to his mouth and kissing them gently. I’m sure they must be a bit sore, but the feeling is so distant that I can’t even wrap my arms around it. Even so, he pricks his thumb on a fang and smears a bit of his blood over the red marks. He pulls me tightly against his side, kissing the top of my head.

“Are you alright?” he asks in that husky voice I love so much.

“I’m not sure that I can ever move from this bed again,” I say honestly with a sleepy grin, “but I’m fantastic.” I place a kiss on his chest. “I might just forget everything I learned about patience again soon…”

A rumbling growl of pleasure vibrates through his chest and I chuckle lightly. I let out a long, slow exhale and suddenly, I can barely keep my eyes open.

“…tired,” I mutter.

“Sleep, Keeva,” he whispers, pulling me even tighter against him.

“Love…you…” I say again as the darkness swallows me up.

Da hands over a small bundle after we finished breakfast. It’s just the Clayburns this morning, and being alone with my family again is so bittersweet that it makes my chest ache a bit. I miss the days of us all together, of sharing meals and stories by the fire, but I can’t imagine my life without Alaric and know that my new life is where I’ve always been meant to be. Still, I hope that visits like these are not so infrequent now.

“For me?” I ask with a quirk of my brow.

“Aye. I hear yer quite the weapons master these days,” he says with a grin.

“I’ve gotten rather good, I must say.” I preen and Enid throws a breakfast roll at me.

“And so humble. Truly your best quality,” she says with a roll of her eyes, but she smiles. “Would you open it already?”

I unwrap the silk and find a small, soft leather pouch. A metal clasp holds it closed and when I study it I realize that it’s the knot of the Clayburn family surrounding the sigil of Alaric’s coven. I run my fingertips over the symbols, the two parts of me coming together as if they were always one, meant to be together from the beginning. Da is a poet when it comes to weapons, but I know that he wouldn’t have thought of this detail. I look to Enid.

“You did this?”

“I designed it and had Widow Kline make it.”

“It’s beautiful, Enid. Truly.”

“Well, wait until you see the rest of the gift,” she says, gesturing for me to continue. I let my gaze travel from the carvings to the hilts of two knives. Again, the wolf head stares at me, ruby eyes shining. I pull the blades free and gasp.

“Da,” I breathe. “They’re…”

“Daggers befitting the High General’s mate,” he finishes for me and I tear my gaze away from the knives to meet his gaze. Had someone told him? “Aye, I know,” he says, answering my unasked question. “It isn’t hard to see, lass.” He smiles, as if the news makes him happy. I guess he knows how fiercely a mated vampire will protect what’s his and knows that I will be safer than any other person on this earth, but I think he can also see how happy I am with Alaric, that though humans don’t have mates the way vampires do, we do have great loves and Alaric is mine.

I smile widely and look back to the blades in awe. They’re miniature versions of Night’s Fury, though of course these stars aren’t real silver like on Alaric’s blade…at least, I don’t think they are. I glance to the ring on my index finger as I run my finger tip over the blade, knowing that da is full of surprises, so who knows. The daggers are thin, sharp, and absolutely perfect. They aren’t just weapons, they’re works of art. I hold them in my hands, unsurprised by the absolute perfect balance, the beauty of the craftsmanship.

Enid leans forward and fiddles with the clasp on the pouch, eventually pulling it free. My brow furrows as she takes the daggers and?—

“Oh my gods,” I say on a soft laugh. The blades slide into the clasp perfectly, looking as if they are all one piece, and that piece is a hair pin. “This was one of my first designs!” I exclaim, looking to da. He beams and nods.

“Aye. It was always one of my favorites and now that ye know how to use the things, I thought you should have one for yourself.”

“This is amazing!” I leap from the table and throw my arms around him, hugging him as tightly as I can before finally letting go and pulling Enid into my arms for the same treatment. I turn and make her put it in my hair immediately and da watches on fondly. We settle back into our chairs and talk about town gossip until we hear the sound of metal clashing against metal below. We all make our way to the balcony and glance over the edge to find Alaric, Elias, Wesley, Nova and my guard all broken into pairs or small groups and going through training exercises on the beach below.

“I want a closer look at this,” da says, excitement sparking in his green eyes. He turns and strides back though the house and Enid and I laugh. Takara looks up from her perch on the edge of one of the rock formations and winks. I know how much she loves watching the men while they train, especially when they end up?—

“Holy hells ,” Enid gasps as Elias strips his shirt off, tossing it to the sand. He jerks his head up, his gaze landing directly on us. No, not on us —on Enid . She is the only one he has eyes for, it seems. The two stay locked in a strange trance for long moments before Alaric barks at Elias to pay attention, glancing up to shoot me a quick wink before returning to the business at hand. Enid shakes herself, her cheeks flushing, but her eyes never leave Elias as he moves and spins in the beautiful, deadly dance with Alaric. If I didn’t know any better, I would say he’s showing off a bit. Ok, I do know better and he’s showing off a lot .

I chew on the inside of my cheek, torn on whether I should tell her the truth or not, but decide against it. It’s something that the two of them will have to figure out on their own, as Alaric and I did, but I decide that singing his praises can’t hurt either.

“He’s Alaric’s oldest friend and best lieutenant,” I say casually. “He’s become a very good friend. Helped save my life when I was attacked on the road, too.”

“He’s...” She swallows hard. “He’s very… formidable .” The way she says it makes it seem like formidable is akin to sexy as all fuck and I try and fail to hide my grin. Maybe Elias won’t have such a hard time winning Enid over after all. “What’s it like?” she whispers. “Being with a vampire? Is it as good as the rumors say?” I can see Elias and Alaric both slow their movements, obviously listening to every word we’re saying.

I narrow my eyes at them and say loudly, “it’s quite lackluster, honestly. Barely above average.” At that Alaric turns to stare at me, mouth gaping in outrage and the rest of the vampires snort and double over with laughter. I smirk at him. “It’s rude to eavesdrop!” I call before taking Enid’s hand and dragging her back into the house where we can have a proper conversation. We settle into one of the drawing rooms in the south tower where our guests are staying and I tell her truth about sex with a vampire. All the mind-blowing, intoxicating, life-altering details.

She looks pensive, toying with the pendant around her neck that she’s had for as long as I can remember.

“What’s wrong?”

She chews on her lip. “Do you think…well, do you think it’s possible to not feel that kind of passion for someone and still ever be in love with them?” I give her a look that tells her to go ahead and give up the pretenses. She exhales roughly. “I feel nothing like that with Leland. He’s sweet and kind and he tries to be funny, though gods bless his heart, he fails miserably, but…there’s no fire, Lia. Nothing even close to approaching fire. Barely a smoldering ember on the very best of days.” She buries her face in her hands and confesses, “but every time I see Elias, I feel as if my entire body is burning with need for him.”

“Well, he is obscenely attractive,” I agree.

She drops her hands and looks at me. “It’s more than that. When I’m around him, I feel…content, in ways I never even knew I could feel. He makes me smile and laugh, and every time he does he lights up, as if coaxing joy from me brings him infinitely more of it. He listens when I talk, really listens and asks me questions no one else has ever thought to. I feel like I can talk to him for hours and hours and he’ll never get bored of it. I can’t explain it without sounding crazy. I feel like I’m crazy but…” She trails off and shakes her head. “I just think that perhaps I’ve been trying to force myself to feel things for Leland because…well, I was lonely after you left,” she says sheepishly. “I know, I know. That’s a terrible reason to agree to marry someone, but here we are.” She takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. “I just feel like I’m connected to Elias, like I’ve always been connected to him even though I’ve only known him a few days. It makes no sense.”

I know all too well what she means and wonder what the hells it is about the Clayburn blood that seems to defy the laws of matehood as we know them. Whatever it is, I know that I’m thankful for it and while Enid is still free to make her own choice, I know that no one on this earth will protect my sister the way Elias will, the way the whole of the army will protect and accept her as one of their own if she so chooses.

But if she does choose to be with Elias, she’ll be faced with the same dilemma as I am: being human with a ticking clock counting down the moments of our mortal lives. I shake myself, not wanting to go down that road in my mind yet again.

“It makes more sense than you might think,” I murmur. She eyes me but I wave her off and she thankfully allows it. We spend the next hour talking and I answer the hundreds of questions Enid has about my relationship with Alaric. It’s so nice being like this with her again, to have someone that I can talk to in a way I can’t with anyone else. I know that my heart will break a little again when we all leave to go back to our real lives.

But for now, I enjoy every moment with my sister.

All too soon, we’re back at the camp. I miss my family already, but Alaric has promised that he’ll arrange for visits to Ashcliff or have Enid and da come to the village near the camp as often as I’d like. Judging by the way Enid couldn’t keep her eyes from Elias, I have a feeling that she will be all too happy to visit sooner rather than later. She claims nothing happened between them save a mostly-innocent kiss that last night before we all departed, but with the way she blushed and wouldn’t fully meet my eyes, and the way Elias couldn’t stop grinning like a lunatic, I know it’s complete and utter bullshite. I know that Enid is honorable to her core and wouldn’t want to do anything with Elias before breaking things off with Leland, but at the same time, I know just how hard it is to fight those feelings and how easy it is to give into temptation. I’ll demand all the details soon enough.

We fall back into the normal rhythms of camp with Alaric being the High General and me being his…whatever I am. I don’t believe there’s been an official announcement that I’m his mate or anything, but I know that news spreads through the camp faster than wildfire, so I’m sure that anyone who wasn’t at the battle must surely know by now. I wonder what they think about it. Is it shameful that their High General’s mate is a feeble human? Are they simply just happy that he’s found me at all with mates being so rare?

About two weeks after arriving back at camp, Alaric left to go on a scouting mission. Being apart, even for these few days, had been like torture. I know we must both learn to bear it, but my gods I hated every second of it. The only good thing about it was that I was free to go to the village again after all this time —with my guard plus another contingent of fifteen vampires hand-picked by Viktor of course. It was so nice being back, almost like coming home again. I was happy to see that Master Raynor seemed to be doing much better now that he’s been able to get his medication regularly without problem. I made sure to put some extra coin in the apothecary’s pocket as a thank you and he assured me that everything was going well with our arrangement. No one in the village was going without what they needed now and I couldn’t have been happier.

A week later, I came down with a bad cough and could barely get out of bed for days on end. The healers came and everything turned out alright, but it reminded me all over again at the position we’re in. I’m human. I’m fragile. I’m dying. Every single day I’m closer to death.

I’ve tried to bring it up more than once, but Alaric always manages to know what I’m about to say and distracts me in deliciously wicked ways. But now, I stare at the faint pink line on my palm where I’d sliced through it this morning while I was working in the shop with Braddock. Alaric had healed it as soon as he’d heard, of course, but it’s yet another reminder.

“What is it, Keeva?” he asks softly, coming up behind me at the window and kissing my neck. I give a mmm of appreciation and reach back to run my fingers through his hair.

“I was just wishing we had a balcony…” I smile when I hear him groan against my throat. Alaric had taken me on the balcony of our tower at Ashcliff more than once, bending me over the railing and pounding into me so hard that my screams were lost to the roar of the sea below, and I still dream about it. So, I’m only half lying.

I turn from the window and wrap my arms around him, reaching up to brush a fleck of snow from his hair with a laugh. True winter is here now and it's just as beautiful as mum always said it was. I feel a connection to her every time I walk through the white fields around the camp, every time I sit in front of the fire and watch the flakes drift down through the window. I can see the beauty the way she did, and feel like I understand her a bit better now somehow.

I settle my hand on his cheek, searching his eyes. I know he doesn’t want to discuss it, but I can’t wait any longer. I won’t let him distract me this time—which is why I’m waiting for him fully dressed instead of naked in our bed like usual. I take a settling breath and he tenses. I can feel the knot in my chest tighten through our bond.

“Alaric, we need to talk about this.”

He knows exactly what this I mean and his expression immediately turns dark and closed off. He steps away from me and strides across the room, pouring himself some whisky. He seems to know better than to try to distract me with sex this time and I prepare myself to have it out. We’ve never really fought. Argued here and there but it usually dissolves quickly enough, but I have a feeling this will be different. But I won’t back down. This is important.

So, if this means a fight, then I’m ready. Da and Enid are on their way to the village right now for a visit. I can go stay there with them for a few days, really storm off and let him know how serious I am about this.

“There is nothing to discuss, Dahlia.”

“That’s ridiculous. There’s plenty to discuss.”

He turns and leans against the sideboard. “No, there isn’t,” he says again, voice carefully calm. “You will not be turned.” He takes a long drink, eyeing me over the rim of his glass. I stare at him, incredulous. He’s already decided ? I knew he didn’t want to talk about it because there is no easy answer, but to have him not even consider the option? To not even consider what I might want? My blood starts to boil, my hackles raising.

“And you get to make this decision on your own then?”

“I do.”

“How can you say that?” I sputter. “This affects both of us, Alaric. This is my life too.”

“And you will have a long, mortal one. I will be by your side for every second of it and when it is over, I will join you in whatever comes after this, but I will not risk the turning.”

“You don’t want a chance at forever with me?? You’ll settle for fifty, maybe sixty years as long as I don’t get sick or attacked by Revenants, or run over by a carriage?” I shout, trying and failing to keep my temper in check. This has all been building for too long, the what-ifs and the possibilities festering in my mind for months.

“You. Will. Be. Safe,” he growls. “And I would rather have that time than risk the turning and lose you tomorrow!”

“But what if it works!? What if I can be with you forever, be as strong as you and even safer than I am now?”

“Of course I would want that but…” He looks both pained and angry. “I will not risk it. I am not ready to possibly lose you, Dahlia. Don’t you understand??”

I pace back and forth, understanding completely but also furious that he won’t even consider it, that he’s made the decision without consulting me…that every day that passes is a day closer to the end of our time together. I understand his fears, and a part of me is terrified of what would happen if the turning failed, if I died in the attempt and he had to deal with that pain alone…of what would happen to the world without him in it if he truly decided to follow after me. I know many mates do, simply unable to survive without their other half, but…not Alaric. He’s strong. He could survive it. He would have to survive it, for the good of Braxhelm. This world needs him. The army is strong, but they’re mostly that way because of him. His strength bolsters them, their shared blood and bond, and the love and respect and trust they have in him making them more formidable than any other in history. Without him…I shudder to think how they might fare. It’s the very reason Kilgren’s plan had been a good one.

“You’ve turned hundreds of humans, Alaric, thousands even. But you refuse to even try for me? Even if it’s what I want?”

“Because I never loved any of them!” he roars. “I didn’t give a fuck if they lived or died except as so far as whether a good soldier was lost to my forces! I. WILL. NOT. LOSE. YOU!!” He bares his fangs in an almost feral snarl, and though it’s terrifying to behold, I don’t cower.

I stand, seething, torn between love for this man and fury at his insistence and refusal to even consider my point of view. I don’t want to grow old with him. I don’t want to age before his eyes, to grow frail and feeble while he remains strong and sure, to have my entire life be a short blink of his eye. I cannot stomach it. And he won’t even think of these things, or if he does, he doesn’t care. But they matter. They count. What I think and feel counts, damn it! I didn’t get a choice in becoming his Consort, or his mate, but I get a choice in how I spend the rest of my life with him as his partner.

I shove my feet into my boots and stalk across our chambers.

“Where are you going?” he barks.

“For a walk. Doona follow me, yer highness ,” I snap, my glare daring him to try. I fly from the room and through the cabin, grabbing my thick, fur-lined coat from the ornate hook by the door before storming out into the night. I pull the hood up against the chill. The snow is already beginning to coat the ground in a thick, fluffy blanket and I’m glad that I had the wherewithal to at least put on my boots before leaving. I don’t know where I’m going exactly, I just know that I need away from Alaric. For the first time in the better half of a year, I don’t want to be near him…though of course, that’s only half true and part of me is already yearning to go back to him. I clench my jaw and storm through the camp. I’m not in the mood to talk with Wesley or Nova, knowing I really shouldn’t be around anyone right now, so I walk towards the pond.

Lanterns had been added to the path and the field around the pond after I first started spending time here, so I can navigate the trip easily enough, even in the dark. I wear a deep trench in the snow as I pace, back and forth, back and forth, a hundred times, a thousand. I can’t believe that he won’t even consider it. I understand his reservations and I can’t say that I don’t share them to an extent or that I’m not afraid of the potential…less than favorable outcome, but a potential life together forever is worth it to me. To not have to be protected, to be strong enough to stand beside Alaric and the rest and not be a liability…

No matter how much training I get as a human, I know that I’ll never be strong or skilled enough for Alaric to feel as if he doesn’t have to protect me. And I appreciate his desire to do so, of course I do, but I want him to look at me as an equal. I want to be able to protect myself.

I stop my furious pacing and lean against the fallen tree, rubbing at my temples. A part of me feels terrible for being so angry at Alaric when his only desire is not to lose me. How can I possibly fault him for that? I take a deep breath and try to think of things from his point of view. If our roles were reversed, would I risk his life? I…don’t know. The thought of losing him is enough to make my chest clench painfully and I sigh, the worst of my fury fading.

“My Lady,” a voice says from a few feet away.

I jolt to my feet, barely stifling the scream building in my throat. I hadn’t even heard him approaching. Highspear looks apologetic, ducking his head and wringing his hands.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to frighten you,” he says, taking another step forward. “The High General sent me to fetch you. You must come at once.” A cold tendril of fear slowly skates up my spine.

“Is everything alright?”

“There’s been a threat at the gates.” Worry gnaws at my throat. A threat at the gates? Could it have come from the village? Have da and Enid made it there yet? Are they safe?? “The High General wants you back at the cabin just to be safe. I’ll escort you.”

“Oh,” I say, blinking. “What kind of threat?” I ask, wondering vaguely why Alaric would send Luca and not Elias or one of the guard. Something feels wrong, but I don’t know what, exactly. I step towards the young vampire and he clasps my arm. I’m shocked by the contact—most of Alaric’s soldiers wouldn’t touch his Consort so casually, and most vampires wouldn’t dare touch another’s mate—but I don’t have time to question it.

“I’m sorry,” he says quietly before twisting quickly and pulling my back hard against his chest, one arm wrapped around my middle like a vice.

“What are you doing!?” I demand as I struggle against his hold, that trickle of fear now growing, spreading ice through my entire body like a deluge. Something is very, very wrong. He squeezes tighter, a clear threat in his embrace now, and panic rises.

“What must be done,” he says, sounding half resigned and half…gleeful? My heart gallops in my chest, true fear settling over every inch of me like a suffocating blanket.

“Let me go!” I yell, kicking out at him the way Wesley taught me. He grunts in pain as my boot collides with the inside of his ankle, but he doesn’t release me. Surely someone can hear me? How does he expect to get away with this?

A moment later, there’s a sharp prick of pain in the side of my neck and my entire body suddenly feels as heavy as lead. My arms drop lifelessly to my sides, my legs giving out completely and only Luca’s hold on me keeping me upright. He tosses me over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.

“I’m really am sorry,” he says again, sounding like he means it, and then the darkness drags me into the abyss.