Page 41 of Vow to Corrupt You (Gods of Corruption #1)

Serena

I shake my head, looking at Nikos in confusion. I must’ve heard him wrong. There’s no way he said he’s giving me a choice to leave. It must be the adrenaline still buzzing in my veins or the shock after staring death in the eyes. I legit thought we would die on that road, be hit by that car.

“Did I hear you right? You’re letting me go?” My voice is as shaky as my body.

“I’m not letting you go,” Nikos replies calmly, as if he weren’t just here in the car with me, as if he didn’t just try to cause an accident to kill us.

“I’m giving you a chance to leave, but on my terms. I’ll give you the money, enough to lead a long, luxurious life far away from me.

” He pauses as though he’s giving up a part of himself to say this.

“You won’t have to hide. You won’t have to run. I won’t look for you.”

I stare at the contradiction before me. Just a couple of hours ago, he chased me to the airport, ruining my attempt to escape.

Then, finally (though in his own twisted way, while fucking me roughly like an animal), he admitted he cares about me—perhaps even has feelings for me.

Then, he tries to kill us in a suicide mission while confessing his darkest secrets, only to tell me I’m allowed to leave.

It doesn’t make sense.

My gaze must betray my confusion because Nikos speaks before I can ask any more questions. And I have plenty.

“I won’t change, wicked one . Ever.” He brushes me gently with his thumb, and I realize he isn’t wearing his gloves.

I feel him—his touch—and, to my surprise, it feels so intoxicating I don’t want him to take his hand away.

“I’m not looking for redemption. Never have.

A criminal like me, a ruthless gangster with a past so dark and twisted, can’t ever change.

If someone tells you otherwise, it’s all sweet lies.

” His voice is so soft yet deep and rough, just like always.

He brushes my cheek, then my lips, following the path his fingertips trail before his eyes meet mine once more.

“That darkness, consuming everything and everyone around me, has become an inseparable part of me. So yes, I’m giving you a choice to walk away before it’s too late.

Before it consumes even you. Before I drag you down to the depths of my own personal hell with me.

Believe me, sooner or later, that’s exactly what will happen. ”

“Why?” My forehead creases, my head tilting to sink deeper into his warm hand, which feels like the place where I belong. “Why now?”

He exhales heavily, his breath a welcome comfort against my skin, as his fingers caress me so gently it’s as if I’m made of a fragile fabric that could tear apart with the slightest movement.

“I see the way you look at me. Like you think you can save me. Like I’m still human.

But that’s the most dangerous lie of all.

Because loving me isn’t a fairytale. It’s a death sentence.

” He pulls his hand away like he’s letting go of more than just my skin, and the pain in his eyes makes it feel like goodbye.

“Because I realized keeping you safe does not necessarily mean keeping you by my side.”

My heart shatters. I feel like I’m breaking into millions of tiny pieces. This is exactly what I was the most afraid of—losing the person you don’t ever want to lose, that feeling of abandonment, the bitter goodbye when it’s the last thing you want to say.

“I vowed to break you because I thought it was the only way for you to survive. Just like I had to become a monster, embrace the darkness so it wouldn’t have embraced me.

I thought it would make you strong enough to survive with me, beside me, in my world, that it was the only way.

But now I see it’s not, and if it’s too much for you, and I’m pretty sure it is, I’m willing to let you go, even if it destroys me.

” His jaw tightens as he inhales deeply, as if it’s torture to say those words aloud.

“I thought I was protecting you, but now I realize you might be better off without me. Safer. And I want you to be safe, wicked one , and I will keep you safe because I know only I can, especially now that you’re my wife.

My enemies will always see you as a target.

That’s why if you leave, it’ll be on my terms, so you don’t have to hide or fear for your life. ”

“What if it’s already too late?” I mutter softly, feeling the weight in my chest while Nikos’s eyes bounce back and forth between mine. “What if I’m lost in the depths of that hell and don’t want to be found?”

“What do you mean, wicked one ? Isn’t that what you wanted?” Nikos straightens a fraction, and I swear a flicker of something—a whispered maybe —briefly crosses his face. “Your freedom back?”

“Perhaps I never knew what I truly desired, or maybe I just didn’t want to admit what I wanted because I was scared to accept that I was already broken, consumed by that darkness you’re talking about before I even met you.”

“What do you mean?” The way his voice carries a hint of hope makes my heart beat faster.

“I felt lost. Incomplete. Searching for a piece of myself my mother took with her the day she abandoned us. Foolishly believing I could find it in something safe. In something… normal. But the truth is—” I pause to force the air back into my lungs.

“The truth is all I ever craved was a man like you. One who wouldn’t hesitate to do the most disturbing things for me.

To be with me. Keep me. A man who would put me above all else, no matter the price.

Not minding the consequences. Only with someone like you can I ever truly feel complete. ”

He stares at me as if the things I said just shattered the walls he’s spent a lifetime building.

“And now?” His hand lifts but stalls midair, hovering inches from my jaw, like he’s afraid I’m a mirage he’s terrified to lose if he dares to make contact.

As though all of it is just an illusion. “What do you want now, wicked one ?”

I want you, and I wanted you from the start.

From the very beginning. From the very first moment, his eyes met mine with the most intense possessiveness I’ve ever seen.

With the kind of look that told me I was going to be his, that I would be wanted and lusted.

In the kind of way that offered something I lacked… I found it all in his twistedness.

I don’t say a word. I grab him by his collar and pull him closer, kissing him with a hunger I’ve never felt before. With the rawest kind of desire.

The moment feels like a tale from Greek mythology, where I’m Persephone, given a choice to leave, and he’s Hades, whose darkness and allure I’m unable to resist. As the myth goes, she’d eaten the pomegranate seeds, binding her to him forever.

And so I did. Only, it wasn’t by chance.

I wanted to eat the seeds of my own accord.

I wanted to be bound to Nikos forever, to become his queen, just like Persephone did with Hades.

Their story is like ours, where Hades is painted as the villain, but I think Persephone knew the truth: the villain makes your life anything but ordinary—most likely dark, black—but he will also give you the world, even if he has to burn it to ashes first.

Now I understand why Nikos was so hellbent on making me match his darkness.

If you don’t succumb to the darkness and make it your own—rule it—it’ll reign over your mind, drive you insane.

But if you learn to embrace it, reign it, you become unbreakable.

He’s learned to rule it because if he didn’t, it would consume him, eat him alive, and destroy what’s left of him.

He knew the only way for me to endure all this was to become the darkness so that the darkness itself isn’t so scary anymore.

Perhaps what we do is toxic. Perhaps what we have is destructive. Perhaps our love is sick and twisted, but no one has ever loved me the way he loves me, in his corrupt, twisted way. He has killed for me. He would die for me. It’s sick, I know, but its depravity tastes so sweet.

“Does it mean you’re coming back home with me?” He breathes heavily against my mouth, and I inhale every word, every breath, every sound he makes like the sweetest poison.

“Yes,” I smile softly, “You’re my home.”