Page 14

Story: Vow of Vengeance

CHAPTER 14

Haze

He wants his answer, and he wants it now.

Don’t run your hand through your hair, Haze. It’s your tell. I take a deep breath and steel my nerves.

Clearing my throat, I attempt to compensate for my earlier poor manners of turning down his wife’s hospitality by offering gratitude. “Thank you for arranging last night with Ophelia’s family. Everything went smoothly on my end.” And hopefully I will avoid the topic of the ring I’m missing from my left ring finger. “How did things go here? I’m guessing Emilia hasn’t been filled in?”

“The mom and grandfather were exuberant that she’d been chosen for the study abroad program. The grandmother is shrewd. Sharp. She looked a little less convinced. Emilia doesn’t need to know just yet.”

“Okay. Why?—”

He moves on quickly before I can bring up he’s not told his wife I’m getting married. Narrowing his gaze, he demands again, “Where is your ring?”

“I picked Ophelia up last night while you distracted her family. Then I brought her back to my house. Woke up this morning and came straight here.” I hope my lie comes out smoother than the shaky hand I run through my hair. “There wasn’t time for a wedding.”

There’s a sliver of truth in my statement; my obsession with doing sexy things with my naive virgin did take up most of my time.

He counters with the truth. “Charlie came into town for this. She even dragged the Beast out of his lair to help her, which, as you can imagine, he was NOT happy with.”

Ah yes, Nikolaos Bachman, the Beast from Greece. He walks around with his massive biceps peeking out of his olive-green shirt and heavy black boots on his feet, worthy of his military background. He’s grouchy and hates leaving the mansion on Dark Island, once his bachelor cave, but turned into a beautiful bed and breakfast by his flowery, feminine wife, Charlie, to host the family.

I’m going to owe him Cuban cigars after this.

“Charlie had everything prepared for a ceremony. She and the Beast spent hours decorating the pool house with fresh flowers. She even had two slices of cake waiting for you.” He gives a shameful groan. “Which I ended up stress eating for breakfast.”

Liam never eats sugar… this is bad.

“I’m sorry,” I say.

He says, “I can’t tell you how disappointed she was when Father Thomas called her to tell her you’d canceled at the last minute.”

“It's true,” I admit. “I called Father Thomas on the way to Ophelia’s house last night. I told him the wedding was off, but I’d be in touch.”

The whole truth is I was too chicken to kidnap a girl of eighteen that I’d never met AND make her my wife all in a matter of a few hours when I’ve been alone for so long.

I’ve never denied my commitment issues.

“I’ll call him as soon as we’re ready.” I think of Emilia and her efforts to set me up. It didn’t sound like she was informed about any of this. “How did Emilia take it?”

“In the end, I didn’t tell Emilia about your plans with Ophelia because I feared you wouldn’t go through with the wedding,” he confesses. “I didn’t want to disappoint her.”

“That’s…good.” I’m equal parts embarrassed he already knew I’d back out, and relieved Emilia wasn’t informed in the first place.

He eyes me. “Don’t leave it too long. I’m glad you have Ophelia now. I hate the dissociative state you’ve been in for the past ten years. Bianca was one wild ride. After being stalked by her, I understood why you swore off relationships.”

“I’m sure you’ve already heard about her appearing last night,” I say.

His brows rise. “Bianca stopping you in the road? Yes. I heard about that and how she brought up the baby again. I’m glad you finally asked us to keep tabs on her. I worry about her mental health. The fact that she’s still holding onto her false pregnancy story, pretending there was a baby to keep you around, then to find out months later that she never was pregnant…” His words trail off for a moment.

“It was a trying time.” Bianca was a strong, sexy woman who kept my interest until she didn’t. When I broke things off, she became violent. When that didn’t work, she tried to fake a pregnancy.

His voice pulls me from my memories as he says, “It’s the Bachman in us that makes us desire to protect all women fiercely, but Bianca…”

“We’re the ones who need protecting from her,” I finish for him.

He nods in agreement. “All this to say, I understood why you stopped dating after Bianca. I was hopeful when you let Emilia make the dating profile for you?—”

“Huge mistake,” I say. “I was drunk that night.”

“Sometimes the heart gets what it wants after a few whiskeys,” he counters. “But in the end, it was a mistake when your first dip into the online dating pool ended so disastrously. I was worried.”

The only reason I let Emilia make that damn online dating profile in the first place was because I had one too many whiskeys, and she begged.

I attempt to… “open up.” An awful metallic taste comes to my mouth at the thought of sharing emotions. Blech. “I understand your concern.” New at this kind of thing, I find myself searching for words. “It’s true. I found—hope—in the messages I exchanged with Leah…”

My mind wanders, thinking of those messages; one in particular found a place in my mind.

Four lines of one poem which have stuck with me since the moment I read them on my computer screen.

The void inside grows deeper still.

I search and seek but cannot fill.

Did I create the chasm on my own?

Or was I born to be alone?

“The betrayal left me…” I search for words. The online connection first sparked hope. When all was taken away, the hope turned to anger. The anger died, leaving me empty. I settle for, “Cold and detached.”

Deep in thought, he stares at me, waiting for me to expand on my statement. His silence and the glare from his dark eyes are unnerving. Under his heavy gaze, I become like Ophelia, turning into a motormouth in my angst.

I continue with, “Yes, I should have gone through with the ceremony last night but didn’t.”

“No, you shouldn’t have gone through with the wedding if you didn’t want to marry this girl.” Still, he stares. Wordless. His fingertips press together harder. He wants more explanation, but I’m unsure of what. “I thought you wanted to marry her; I thought that’s why you brought her here.”

“I did. I do. I mean—” I want her, I do. But what I need now is more important. “I’m ready to be made captain.”

His entire forehead seems to fold together, his brows rising, his skin reddening. His tone is part anger, part sadness. “Is that all this whole thing was about? Is becoming captain the only reason you created the dating profile you made with Emilia? The only reason for your revenge bride kidnapping last night? Our dinner ruse last night to get her family off the scent? None of it was for love?”

Love? I’m stunned. When did that dirty little four-letter word come into play?

As Liam keeps talking, I feel the color drain from my face, my goal slipping from my fingers. He says, “What you’re telling me is that all this was done for the end goal of becoming captain and not for a relationship?”

“My end goal was to be made captain. You said I had to be settled. That’s why I was looking for a wife. I thought you knew that.”

His head drops into his hands as he shakes it. Disappointment drips from his words. “I’d had hope that you… I don’t know—I thought you might be interested in Ophelia.”

“I was. I mean…” A debilitating ache tore through my empty chest the day I saw her throwing away a bag of garbage.

But I feel that’s NOT what Liam is talking about here.

The meeting is going horribly, dastardly, even.

I picture a jet losing its engine, spiraling toward the earth, then the other engine blowing up, massive flames engulfing the aircraft. The aircraft burns, crashing to the ground, leaving devastation in its wake.

What can I say?

I offer a meek, “I’ve brought her here to make her my wife. Isn’t that enough?”

“Enough to become a captain in this family?” He gives me a hard stare, then shakes his head. “No.”

My stomach drops. A cold sweat breaks out across my hairline. He said if I were settled down, he’d consider me for captain.

I lean forward. “She’s agreed to marry me. I’ll call Father Thomas right now?—”

“There’s more to moving up than wearing a wedding ring.” His words fall like dominoes around me.

Trying to keep my tone respectful, I remind him, “You told me that if I was to be fit for captain, I needed to be settled. Married. Attached. Those were your words. Right?”

Staring at his dispassionate face, I wonder if I misheard him.

He nods, then shakes his head in contradiction. “I also said some other things, like when you marry, your priorities shift. You’re no longer first in your world. Your wife is.”

Nodding, I agree. “Right. I get that.” I swipe my damp palms down the front of my trousers.

Finally lowering his hands to his lap, he continues. “You have to care for your wife. Protect her. Put her above all else and all others.”

I sink back into the chair. I need him to understand. He needs to know how important this is to me.

“Ophelia’ll want for nothing. She’ll be under my constant protection”—and thumb— “and when she’s not, she’ll be with those I trust. I have to be made captain.”

“Why is this so important to you? You’ve been perfectly content as our project manager, focused on our future expansion.” He waits. “And why now?”

My mouth is filled with sawdust. I want to swallow, but it would be awkwardly loud. I clear my throat. “I have something from my past I need to revisit.”

“You know I have a strict policy about going back to our old lives,” he says, his tone void of empathy.

His wife comes from a terrible home. Her entire family lives not far from here, yet their paths never cross. Sometimes, I think he made such a hard and fast rule to protect her from them.

Only captains and the higher ranked can do such a thing, and it must be for a good reason, like a life-or-death situation.

I can’t claim to have such an excuse.

“There’s someone from my past I need to see.” Desperately. Now. “And I know that only captains and above would be given such a self-indulgent privilege.” I shake my head, filled with shame. “Which is why I need this.”

He sits back, crossing his arms over his chest. “It’s not worth the risk.”

“I need this.” I hate the desperation as it seeps from my voice.

His dark brows lower. “Why. Now.”

“I…”No words come, and I’m left shaking my head.

From where Liam sits, I’m perfectly content to play the bitter bachelor, and for the past decade, I’ve happily stared up at the boot soles of men as they climb right over me to rise up the mafia ladder while I swing a hammer.

I can’t tell my powerful don boss why it’s different now.

Why suddenly, after being fulfilled by the odd one-night stand and my job as the family’s construction manager for over ten years, I demand a wife, stability, and the title of captain.

He’ll laugh in my face.

Seeing I don’t have an answer for him, he moves on, making an off-the-wall comment. “We Bachmans aren’t easy to love.”

“Yeah, true.” I exhale. “Those of us enticed by a life of crime aren’t exactly running around spouting rainbows and pulling unicorns out of our asses.” His eyes lock on mine, and something in his gaze makes me swallow hard. My unicorn reference was a bit too far. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to sound disrespectful.”

He stares a beat longer and moves on. “As far as your engagement goes, there’s the matter of love to consider. To become a captain, the marriage has to be a complete union.”

His words hit me like a rock flung from a slingshot. What use is love in our world? Wealth. Power. Control. Those are the tools of our trade. What does love have to do with anything?

He says, “You have to love her and she, you.”

My entire world comes undone, and the ground falls from beneath me. My heart sinks to the soles of my Italian leather shoes. My hands and feet go numb. I’m hot and cold all at once, and the sensation makes me lightheaded.

I mutter, “I’m afraid that’s impossible.”

“It’s in our vows. For better, for worse; for richer, for poorer; in sickness and health; to love and to cherish; until we are parted by death.” He shakes his head. “You are welcome to have a revenge marriage if you need Ophelia in order to feel things are righted with what Leah did to you. But to become captain, I won’t accept the arrangement.”

I feel the color draining from my face. I sit back, staring blankly into the fire. “I understand.”

His voice goes quiet. “I’m sorry, Haze. This is partly my fault.”

“No, it’s not. I listened to you in the past, but I didn’t hear,” I admit. “Now, I know what it takes to move up in this family.”

He shakes his head again. “I can’t believe I had this so wrong. I would never have agreed to meet with Ophelia’s family last night if I had known you had no real love for the girl.” He sighs, leaning back in his chair. “I guess I’m no better than all the women here, playing matchmaker, desperate to see you happy.”

Happy. There’s that word again. I am destined to forever remain in this emotionally stunted state of bitterness. The walls of the room are closing in on me. The air feels stale, and the fire is suddenly way too hot. I’ve got to get out of here.

I clear my throat. “Thank you. For the truth.”

He shakes his head. “I wish it’d been sooner.” I hate the sadness in his words.

We manage another few painful moments of conversation. A handshake for Liam and a farewell kiss for Emilia, and I’m out of this house and down the front steps as quickly as my feet can carry me.

I may as well cut my losses. Pack the girl up and send her back. I’ll never love someone. And she will indeed never love me.

But all I can think of is flawless pale skin. Gleaming dark hair. Expressive blue eyes. Supple rosebud lips. I hear her breathy release as she comes against my mouth. I see her clutching the headrest on the back seat of my car. I see her sitting on the barstool in my kitchen, talking with Gian. I hear her high, tinkling laugh.

I feel her in my arms.

This obsession is dangerous. Now that I know marrying her will get me nowhere, should I keep her for revenge or myself? The best thing I can do for myself and her is to take her back home.

Tonight.

As for becoming captain… I’m broken. Unable to love. Clearly not marriage material.

This is a massive setback, but I won’t give up.

But to have someone fall in love with me? It’s not impossible. In fact, it’s already happened. A woman loves me so hard and profoundly that they’ve become obsessed.

The wheels crank in the dark recesses of my mind. I think of Bianca standing in the road, her gray coat tight around her and the desperation in her face highlighted by the car’s headlights. I will find a way to survive, to get what I need. Bianca loves me.

Could I, in turn, play a convincing enough role as the adoring husband?

Say my vows like an actor on a stage. Take my rightful place as captain. Make my hit.

I’m giving myself chills.

I, too, have a flair for dramatics when pushed against a wall.

Liam’s questions burn in my mind, asking me why becoming captain is essential to me now.

What held me back from telling Liam the whole truth of the why and why now was that revealing the answer would make me look like a complete and total ass.

If Liam is unwilling to take a risk for me, how can I tell him the hard truth?

The person I’m so in dire need of protecting is someone I’ve never even met.

If I were wired differently, I’d bury my head in the sand—better yet, in Ophelia’s magical pussy—and forget everything else going on in the world, but that’s not me. There is only family in this world, chosen or blood, and I ride or die with family.

With one exception.

My mother.

She destroyed me as a child and made me unable to trust another woman. Without full trust, there cannot be genuine love—not real love, anyway. This is why I’m damaged goods, unlovable, and unable to love, and thus will never be made captain of this family.

Someone, please, do me a favor and cue the orchestra of tiny violins. I need a pity party. Right now.

I think of the night everything changed…

We were lying by the pool, drinking. A casual night where Liam actually let loose and laughed. Emilia poured me another whiskey. Staring into my eyes, she playfully begged, “Let me make you an online dating profile. Come on. It’ll be fun. You need to wash the Chanel of Bianca off you.” My boss’s wife blinked twice, smiled adorably, and said, “Pretty please?”

And I said yes.

Neither of us had any idea where it would lead.

Leah catfished me. Eros handed me that folder. I found out something about my old life that changed my current one.

I knew I had to go back home. And I was entirely pissed off at Leah. Why not steal the woman’s daughter who catfished me as part of my plan to become captain?

Heaving a sigh, I tell myself NOT to drag my hand through my hair. Instead, I rub the stress from the back of my neck, thinking of that navy blue file pulled together by Eros Calvani.

Eros, a fellow recruit from my initiation year, and current head of Bachman Security’s Italy branch, was the one to complete the investigation of my “catfishing incident.” God, I hate the term catfishing, but I don’t know what else to call it. Catfishing makes me feel like I’m floundering. Or that I’m a pussy.

Either way, I’m an idiot who got taken for a ride.

I asked Eros if he could keep any of the information he found to himself. There’s an extra layer of loyalty between initiates when you go through the hell we did together to prove we were worthy of joining, so of course, he had my back. If I think being called Harry is terrible, imagine all the brothers knowing I got catfished.

When he handed me the file, the cool paper smooth against my fingers, he locked eyes with me. “There’s something in here that you’ll need to sit down while you read.”

I remember staring at him, asking, “What?”

“Trust me,” he said, his eyes still focused on mine. At that moment, another brother came up to join us, and the conversation ended.

Later, when I was in the privacy and solace of my own home, I opened that file.

I found out I have a brother.

Well, a half-brother, but to me, that means everything. Growing up with a dead father and a psychotic mother, I longed for a brother. And now I have one.

And he must be protected from my mother. I can’t let her fuck him up like she did me.

This is why it’s so essential to become captain NOW. This is why, when Leah catfished me, I used the dastardly situation to my benefit, creating a revenge scheme to get a bride. This is why convincing Liam I was settled enough to become captain was so important.

I have to go home, face my mom, and save my brother.