Page 7 of Vow of Vengeance (Destruction & Vengeance Duet #2)

"Dramatic?" Khan snaps. " Dramatic ?" I recognize by the pitch of his voice that he's angry, which helps sober me a little.

"You wrote a hit piece on Declan Evers, then he bought the company you work for.

He showed up at your house unannounced and you told me you were his bitch.

And then you just— poof —disappear off the face of the planet.

When we talked to Tony, he said that he suspected Evers of being the one behind your attack.

He told us someone was outside your window.

I thought you were dead or something! I thought—"

"Calm down." Marissa huffs, and I can picture her rolling her eyes at him. "Soren's an adult. She doesn't have to tell us everything."

"Thank you." I say. But I've barely gotten the last words off my tongue before she speaks again.

"But you're supposed to tell us everything! What the fuck is going on, Ren? Where are you? Are you... with him ?"

I cast a glance behind me at the room where I left Declan asleep. "Yes."

"What? How did that happen?"

"It's not important. Work trip. Listen, I just wanted to level with you guys. I know it won't make any sense, so don't ask questions, but... I slept with him."

Literally slept with him. I figuratively slept with him too, of course.

They're both so quiet that I have to look at my phone to be sure we're still connected.

"What the hell?" Khan asks, at the same time Marissa asks, "You fucked him?"

"I can't explain it to you." I sigh. "I can't explain it to myself. I just need to know if it was wrong. Should I stop?"

"Oh, it's definitely wrong." Marissa laughs.

"Hard agree." Khan intones, cutting in before Marissa can finish the rest of her sentence.

"But you definitely shouldn't stop. Are you doing it right now?"

"No!" I laugh, because it's so very typical of her to think I'd do something so risky. There's no way I'd be able to carry out a conversation while Declan was inside of me... he consumes me too much.

"How was he? Is he huge? I've heard he's huge."

I groan, regretting my spur of the moment decision to come clean on this. But I also can't ignore the question completely, not when I'm looking for some sort of validation.

"It was amazing." I whisper, hoping he hasn't gotten up yet to hear my confession. Not that he would know what I'm talking about anyway. "It was like... a huge weight being lifted off my chest."

"I told you months ago you just needed dick." Marissa says proudly, referencing one of the million times she told me to create a dating profile. I argued with her every time that I wasn't ready yet, and she argued back that I just needed a release. Maybe she was right.

I don't bother arguing with her that a random hookup probably wouldn't have given me the same results.

"Khan?"

"Ren?" Khan sounds tired, his voice unamused. He tolerates our girl talk well, but I can tell he's not enjoying this conversation. What I don't know is if it's because I've chosen to try and move on or because of who I chose to try and move on with. "What do you want me to say?"

I bite my lip, debating on giving a voice to the question I've been ignoring. "Is it a betrayal? Am I dishonoring my husband and our baby if I do this with someone else?"

"Of course not." Marissa chides, sounding offended for me. "They're gone, Ren. But you're not. Don't stop living because you think they'd want you to suffer forever."

I nod, recognizing the truth in her words. They're rational, logical— not the type of answer I usually get from Marissa, but it's unshakably reasonable.

Vin loved me. He wouldn't want me to suffer, right? Surely, it's better for me to move on, to love again or at least give myself permission to try.

"A week ago, you were convinced that he killed your husband," Khan argues. "In which case, yes, it's a very big betrayal."

"It wasn't him," I say, spearing some cold pasta on my fork and taking an idle bite. The flavor is mild but pleasant, and I take another bite, suddenly realizing I'm famished.

"What makes you so sure?"

This part, I don't know how to explain... not without telling them the truth about what happened that night. I've kept some details to myself, left some pain for me to suffer alone.

At the time it had seemed like the right thing to do.

I was in shock, too concerned with the accusations and questions directed at making me look like a suspect rather than considering myself a victim.

By the time I realized reporting it would prove that someone else had been there, all evidence would have been washed away anyway.

I never told them that I was sure something more than a murder attempt had happened…

that the attack that caused me to lose my baby wasn’t just physically violent, but sexually as well.

Somebody broke into my home, killed my husband, and raped me. I’ve never said the last part out loud, and I probably never will. It’s too painful.

To that end, I can't tell them that now that I've been with Declan, I know for a fact it wasn't him. I was fairly certain the first night he spent at my home, watching me sleep and cleaning my messes, but having felt him inside of me now, I'm confident.

"I just know." I shove another bite of pasta into my mouth, giving myself more time to think before I can rattle off anything more.

"Know what?" The voice doesn't come from the phone; it comes from behind me.

I whip around to find Declan standing in the door, one muscular arm braced against the frame as he stands there, stark naked.

"I— " I open my mouth and close it, surely looking like a fish before I manage a smile. "Nothing." I lift the phone in my hand, feeling oddly guilty, and tell Khan and Marissa I'll talk to them later.

Khan warns me to be careful while Marissa makes a joke about having fun with dick.

I'm sure that Declan can feel the heat rolling off of me as he draws closer, taking the phone from my hand. His long fingers close around the device, sweeping it into his palm without ever taking his eyes off of me.

"What do you know, Soren Palmer?"

In this moment? Nothing. My head empties of all thought as his thumb brushes against my hand, and I stare at the point of contact.

"I trust you." I tell him truthfully. It's not a lie, not the entire truth.

"Really?" He laughs. "Brave little bird. Some might even say foolish."

"So let them." I breathe, glancing up at him to see if he's on the same page.

His mouth crashes upon mine before I can say anything more, a hand tangling against my scalp to trap me against him.

I guess that answers that question.