Page 23

Chapter 23

Eden

I have to re-type the code a few times because I hit the wrong keys as the shaking in my hands escalates.

I can feel a phantom swell of my stomach and womb.

I can feel the painful grips on my arms and legs. How my father helped them hold me down; how my mother fastened the restraints.

I can feel the horror as they performed the heinous act of taking an innocent life away from the young mother who wanted that life, who would've sacrificed what she needed to raise her child.

I can feel the pain afterward.

God, the pain .

Both the physical and emotional.

I'm blind now; even though my eyes are open, I can't see anything. I don't know how I got into my office, but I shut and locked the door, my hands hardly working.

Ohith always warned that something I'd never see coming would force me to face this, that it would break me. But I'm determined not to let that happen. I just need to repress the swell of memories.

Gasping for air, I lean against the door and slide down to the floor. I hug my knees to my chest, put my forehead on them, and try to regain control.

In the nine years since my forced abortion, I've encountered pregnant women, babies, and young children. But in this world, at Gilly's, this isn't the norm of where you'd find things like that, and I wasn't mentally prepared for it.

My eyes burn as I hold back the tears and emotions that want to shred my soul. I never let myself face what happened to me; I always shove it away and bury it as deep as I can.

I can do that now. I just need a minute.

However, the shaking in my hands isn't abating. Neither is the burn in my eyes or the pain in my chest and stomach.

Dragging in a ragged breath, I try to breathe, willing myself to calm and mentally erect my walls to keep out the memories. But my walls aren't strong or high enough. The torment is pushing in and is going to eat me alive.

The pain I've suppressed for so many years now demands my full and complete attention.

It's done being ignored, done being shoved down. It's done letting me get away with my stubbornness and weakness, and it's demanding I pay the debt owed that has been compounding for years.

Memories overwhelm me.

The feelings of hands on me, the sounds of my screams… It all assaults me at once, cascading over me, ripping and pulling at my walls and my heart, mind, and soul to tear it all down. To rip everything to shreds.

A harsh sob chokes out of me as I feel like I'm being ripped in half, physically and mentally. Another sob, destroyed and shattered, chokes me, and I bury my face deeper against my knees.

Suddenly, I'm being lifted off the floor and held in a pair of strong arms against a hard chest.

Vito.

Instantly, I feel safe—and a bit stronger to face the memories as they flood my mind. The tortured pain is still there, but where before I felt like I'd shatter, I feel like I can withstand it now.

Another sob rips from my wounded, broken soul, even though the pain continues to lessen.

Vito's strong arms wrap fully around me. The thunder of his heartbeat is under my cheek. His touch grounds and connects me to him. He holds me in his lap on the sofa. His hand runs through my hair, then cups my head, holding me tighter to his chest as my whole body shakes.

He doesn't speak or ask questions; he gives me his quiet strength to face this soul-wrenching past. In his arms, I can face what I never could before.

My wracking sobs slowly ease, and reality filters back in.

Vito came in through the secret passageway. He's here… seeing me like this.

I feel stronger about facing my past; however, dread pools as I realize I have to face my reality.

Vito witnessed my undoing.

He knew I needed him, and he broke our rules to risk coming into the office. With a bar full of people, including all the Chamber leaders. This is too dangerous.

He can't stay. He needs to go.

But I can't make myself let him go or tell him to leave.

His arms tighten around me, telling me he's not going anywhere. Not yet.

"Talk to me, Eden."

Visions of what I lived through assault me again. I must physically react because he tightens his hold on me, and his breathing sounds pained.

"I can't."

He kisses my head. "Why?"

"Because…" I squeeze my eyes shut, feeling two tears leak down my cheeks. "Because then I can't ignore it. Because then it will be real."

"It is real. Right now. In this moment. Nothing is more real than this, baby."

Maybe it's because his deep voice sounds pained, because I'm in pain. Or maybe it's because he called me 'baby'. But for the first time, I want, I need , to tell someone—to at least try to face what was done to me and what was taken from me.

But I don't know how—either to say the words or where to start.

"Sophie's pregnant," I say in a rush, my breathing labored.

"She and Creed just told us last night." I can hear the confusion in his voice. Then he sucks in a small breath. "Do you… Do you want a baby, Eden?"

The tears burn my eyes and coat my cheeks as I whisper, "I had one."

Vito goes entirely still but continues to hold me tightly to him.

"When I was fifteen… I had a baby growing inside me… I was pregnant… My baby… My parents forced…"

I've never said these words out loud, but suddenly, it's like they're toxic inside me, poisoning me. And maybe they have been all these years.

I need to purge them.

"I was pregnant." A sob bursts free. "They forced me. They helped the people restrain me. My father was one of the men who held me down. My mother did up the straps."

I can't stop. I bare my soul, spewing every heinous detail of what they did to me. About how I almost died, and afterward, running as soon as I could.

"Fucking hell, Eden." Vito sounds tortured. His body folds around me, cocooning me and holding me in a fierce hold. His heart hammers against my cheek.

Now that I've started telling him, I can't stop. I tell him about the cult and Fenton. About Aiken finding out and disowning our parents. About him finding me, but how I pushed him away. About my regret and shame for being so weak and stubborn.

About never being able to bear children.

I collapse in Vito's arms after all the toxic past events are free. He holds me close and runs his fingers through my hair as my shaking finally abates. "That first night we had sex, you said you couldn't get pregnant… I thought you meant because you were on a contraceptive."

I shake my head and release a shaky breath. I feel steadier but not ready to look at him. "There was too much uterine scarring. Even if I did somehow miraculously get pregnant, I'd miscarry."

"Fuck, Eden." He squeezes my arms and twists me to face him. "I've been coming in you the whole time. For two months . Every fucking day, often more than once. What if you get pregnant?"

His blue-green eyes are a bit crazed as I look at him. "It basically couldn't happen, Vito."

He squeezes my arms harder and gives me the slightest shake. "But if it did, you'd miscarry."

My gut and heart sink as I stare at him. "You want children."

I can't give him that. But that doesn't matter, because I can't even give him me .

He shakes his head vigorously. "No, I've always thought I didn't want children, and now I'm sure I don't."

"What? Why?" He isn't making any sense. I try to understand what I see on his face.

"I'm sure I don't, because the woman I love can't have them, that's why."

"What?" I gasp.

"And it fucking guts me to think of the woman I love in any more fucking pain because she miscarries our child." His eyes glisten. "I can't do that to you, Eden. I can't . I'm getting a vasectomy."

"What?" I gasp again, shaking my head. "Jesus, Vito, no ."

"I'll never do anything to cause you pain." He slams his mouth to mine, then growls, "I'd never allow you to be the one to go through the tubal litigation or any medical procedure that makes you relive that fucking horror show your parents are responsible for."

He ravages my mouth again. "And I want to come deep inside you all the fucking time, so shut up and let me make you come now."

I find myself on my back on the sofa, dizzy from the movement, but also from what he just said. My hips lift as if they have a mind of their own as he drags my jeans and panties off. "Did you just tell me you love me?"

His large, scarred hands stop moving, and his strong body stills. The only thing that moves are his eyes as they raise to look up to mine. "So, I guess this is a good time to tell you that at the end of two months, I wasn't walking away. That instead of fucking and screwing you out of my system, you're embedded into every part of me."

My legs wrap around him. I twist my body to take him to the floor and straddle him.

I undo his pants quickly and grab his hard cock—totally appreciating how he always goes commando. I position him and slide down his thick long length, my pussy stretching to accommodate the sudden thickness of him.

"You're such a fucking cunt," I moan, tilting my head back, then start to ride him hard.

"I love when you call me that." His eyes are molten fire as I claim him for my own. "I understand now why I've always loved it." He braces his heels and shoves up with more force, making me see stars. "That's your love language, isn't it, baby?"

He matches me thrust for thrust until we're both breathing hard and sweaty, then he adds the forward and backward motion that drives me nuts.

He grinds his thumb into my clit and works it. The clit stimulation, added to the hard thrusts and the forward and back motion, is building my need to come and is making me wild. I scratch his hard chest, which makes him moan. "Tell me you love me again."

The pressure in me is near volcanic. He knows what will send me over the edge but isn't giving it to me.

"Tell me you love me again, Eden," he grits, holding back his orgasm.

"You're such a fucking cunt," I moan, sweat coating me.

He smiles wickedly at me. "Good girl."

When he pinches my clit, I erupt like a volcano in an explosive, violent burst.

As I convulse around him, he clamps his hand over my mouth to muffle my scream. Even though my office is soundproof, he's not taking any chance of us being discovered.

Instead of feeling him swell inside me and burst with his release, he pulls out and holds his cock in the crease of my ass and uses my body and his palm to ride his orgasm. His cum coats my ass, even my lower back, as he slides up and down through the crease, smearing his cum over my skin.

"Fuck, Eden," he groans as he jerks again, then kisses me hard.

Afterward, I pull back. "You didn't have to—"

"I'm not taking the chance. Even if it's a point zero-zero-one percent, I won't risk it."

"You'd really get a vasectomy? But we're not… We'll never…"

"Don't," he grits. "We're going to figure this out. Even if it means we have to leave. Fake our deaths."

Tears fill my eyes, but don't fall as I suck in sharply. "You can't leave your family, Vito."

The thought of their love, loyalty, and respect for one another… His is a family that everyone should have.

That he'd sacrifice what they have makes me want to scream. Guilt rises within me, heavy and relentless—especially knowing I pushed my brother away and wasted the time we had left.

"That day when you ran out after my father's funeral…" He swallows hard, regret coating his face, remembering that horrible scene in the library. I kiss him, telling him it's okay.

"Creed told me there'd be a time that I'd need to decide my path—decide for me, not for my family or anyone else. He also told me I wasn't ready to see it, but that I would." He cups my face. "I see it now, Eden. Clearer than anything in my life. I'm not letting you go. Ever."

His eyes fill with love, and it rips at my soul because he'll give up his family for me.

"I can't let you sacrifice that, Vito. Don't ask me to." I shake my head. "I can't."

"We're going to figure this out. I promise. I cross my heart."

But he didn't hope to die .

He smiles that devastating smile that promises a mix of heaven and sin. "Now, let's figure out another spot to put my cum for now instead of inside your pussy."

He slides his hard-again cock through the crease of my ass, and his fingers find my clit and start to torture me slowly. My angst about our future is temporarily shoved to the side as Vito Santoro takes control of my mind and body once again.

"Maybe I'll fuck those glorious tits and come all over them. Or should I come down your throat?" His other hand finds my back hole, using his cum to lubricate it and slowly press a finger into me. "You liked the ass stuff last time, so maybe there?"

I clench around him, moaning, and grind harder against his hand massaging my clit.

"We gotta decide, baby." He bites my neck. "Because after I'm done making you scream as you come again, and I blow my load where you want me to, I need to go and see if I need to hunt for an enemy who should be dead."

Creed had come here for a reason; a threat to their family. So Vito is saying he'll let out his mafia ruthless predator and do what he needs to protect his family.

I clench harder around his finger in my ass.

"I think I have my answer." He smiles as I tilt my head back and gasp at what his finger is doing to me. "But first, my mouth has a pussy it's going to ravage."

He flips me onto my back, then buries his face between my legs, eating me out without mercy, and I arch, moaning, "You're such a fucking cunt, Vito."

He lifts his head, smiling, looking like a cross between a god and the devil himself. "I know, baby. I love you, too, Eden."