Page 9

ALPHA

My mind is a mess, swirling memories combatting each other as the sun rises against the backdrop of Livvy’s room. Memories I don’t want to relive. Memories being made in this very room. Traumas that made me into the man I am but also triggering very real events that started a landfall of chaos and carnage that I never want to revisit.

I lost my men in the heat of combat.

I lost brothers I trusted too easily.

I lost my daughter to a Cartel fighting a meaningless turf war.

And my marriage ended because I lost myself to my inner demons.

I almost let them win me over again.

Seeing Livvy in this hospital bed, suffering, and watching Poppy fighting to get to her like that—it triggered me. The noise, the chaos, the machines beeping frantically, and Rhodes and Miranda working on Livvy like it was all coming to an end—I’m supposed to be the strong one.

The man who stands up, the man who takes charge, and yet I fell to the floor in a fucking heap.

What a pathetic piece of shit I am.

As Poppy sleeps soundly, nestled on my lap, my thoughts grow darker and angrier in my mind as I continue to stare at Livvy, sleeping in her bed. Her skin grows pale and clammy, her lips taking on a bluish tint now. Soft whimpers and moans escape her more frequently. The heart monitor shows her heartbeat is slowing.

I don’t know what the hell happened when I was out of it, and Rhodes was working on Livvy, but by the tension and vibe in the room, I know something is very, very wrong.

I just don’t know if I am capable of knowing the truth.

So I continue to sit.

Holding my daughter close.

And staring at Livvy, watching her fade right before my very eyes.

Another few hours pass. Nurse Miranda came to check on Haven and her wounds, and the morning shifts to midday. Dr. Rhodes returns, his face weary, like he hasn’t slept as he checks Livvy’s vitals and adjusts her medications. “She’s holding on,” he tells us quietly. His eyes dart over to Haven. She hesitantly glances at me, her shoulders sinking as she reaches for my hand.

Instantly, I know.

They don’t even need to tell me.

My breathing starts to rush as I grab Poppy and lift her off my lap, passing her toward Haven. She reaches out for Poppy, pulling her in to hold her. “Alpha, baby,” she whispers, but I shake my head, walking toward Livvy’s bed, my bottom lip trembling as I look over her weak and fragile frame.

How could I not have seen it?

I spin and face Rhodes, determination in my stature. “She’s dying.” It’s a statement, not a question.

Rhodes clenches his eyes tight, letting out a long exhale, then takes a step forward, his eyes landing on Livvy with nothing but devotion shining through. “I’m so sorry, Stone, but her injuries are catastrophic. We’ve made her as comfortable as we can, but her organs are failing. From a surgical standpoint, there’s nothing more I can do for her. There’s simply too much internal damage.”

The world seems to tilt beneath me.

Livvy’s been a constant in my life since we were young. I don’t know how to be in a world without her. My nostrils flare as my eyes meet our daughter. Poppy makes a sound—not quite a cry, a whimper—and it’s now I realize that while I was having my attack, Haven and Poppy were already finding out this news.

That’s why Poppy came to me for comfort.

She needed her father to step up.

So that’s what I’m going to do.

“No,” I growl flatly. “There has to be something else you can do. Surgery, transfusions, anything. I don’t care about cost, Rhodes. You just fucking fix her!”

Rhodes subtly shakes his head, his composure cracking further. “She was my colleague. My friend. My fucking heartbeat. Do you think I’m not trying everything humanly possible?” He takes a breath, steadying himself. “I’m sorry, Stone. Truly. We’re continuing supportive measures, but the trauma is simply too extensive.” His jaw wracks from side to side, his eyes flooding with tears, but he fights them back. “We all love her, Stone. No one wants this outcome. No one.”

Poppy, who hasn’t left her mother’s side, begins to cry again, silent tears tracking down her cheeks. “Can’t you do anything else?” she pleads.

Rhodes places a gentle hand on her shoulder. “I’m so sorry, Poppy. We’re keeping her comfortable. That’s all we can do now. It’s a waiting game.”

Haven pulls Poppy closer as I pace the room again.

Rhodes goes to leave, but I call out to him. “Hey, doc.”

He glances back, looking like he’s about to fall over at any minute. “Yeah?”

Drawing in a long breath, I try to remember that even though he’s pissing me off right now, he is hurting too. I have to try and be a fucking human. “Have you eaten? Had any sleep since she came in?”

Rhodes softly laughs. “No. I don’t think I could stomach anything. And I can’t sleep. I need to be awake. I need to be here if she needs me… till the end.”

Weakly smiling at him, I dip my head. “You’re good people, Lock.”

He shrugs. “Funnily enough, Stone. I think you might be too.” He says nothing more, simply spins on his heels and walks out.

Shaking my head, I turn back to look at Haven with a small smirk, and she grins at me and opens her mouth to speak. Before she can, she’s interrupted.

“Who would’ve thought… that you could… put your big dick energy… away for a minute… and stop pissing on… everything… and actually… make friends with… my boyfriend?” Livvy snarks from behind me.

Turning, my heart sinks through my chest, noticing the heavy bags under her eyes, her labored breathing, and how clammy she looks. But I step up to her with a bright smile anyway. “Ahhh, there she is. Can still turn on that feisty attitude when needed I see?”

Livvy slowly smiles. “You bring it out of me.”

“Oh, like my big dick energy?” I chuckle, turning to Haven and waggling my brows.

Livvy hums under her breath. “That’s why they… call it big… dick energy. Because it’s… usually reserved… for the guys… who have the… smallest dicks.”

Haven bursts out laughing as I fold my arms across my chest, letting out a huff. “That’s bullshit.” I turn to Haven and raise both brows. “It’s bullshit! Right, babe?”

Haven shrugs, pursing her lips. “I mean, big dick energy is nothing to be ashamed of, Big Guy. It’s all about how you use it. Which you do very, very well, I might add.”

Livvy giggles in the bed softly trying to keep herself from coughing as Poppy scrunches up her face with a groan. “Is this appropriate talk in front of an eight-year-old?” Poppy whines.

Curling up my face, I huff. “No, it is not.” I narrow my eyes on Haven. “We will continue this chat later.”

Haven grins, winking at me. “You got it, stud.”

Livvy continues to smirk at the two of us, but her hands reach out signaling. “Poppy,” she murmurs. “Will you come sit with me and sing, like when you were little?”

Poppy’s face crumples, but she nods, gathering herself. She climbs up on the bed and sits. It’s been so fucking long I’d forgotten that she even used to do this.

Before everything went to hell.

Before she was taken.

Before our lives were turned upside down.

Maybe I blocked out this part of our lives—a time when the three of us would sit in Poppy’s bedroom together and hum this lullaby to get her to drift off to sleep. Taking a few steps back just to distance myself—this feels like some kind of sick dream—when, in a trembling voice, Poppy begins to sing the lullaby, a simple melody I haven’t heard in years.

Livvy’s eyes close, a peaceful expression settling on her face as she listens to our daughter’s voice.

My insides tremble as I stand back. Haven moves to stand beside me, her warmth and nurturing taking over as she wraps herself around me. I slide my arm around her shoulders, holding onto her just as tight. Thank God I have Haven. I’m so fucking lucky that she is the most understanding woman on earth and that she is here, helping Poppy and me through this.

I can’t help but focus on my daughter. The way Poppy cuddles into her mother as she sings to her. The unwavering love and loyalty she shows Livvy is heartwarming and equally heartbreaking.

Leaning in against Haven’s ear, I whisper, “Poppy’s going to break when Livvy’s gone.”

Haven tightens her hand in mine, giving me an added layer of courage. “We’ll hold her together,” she promises. “The both of us.”

I grip her fingers so tightly I’m sure it hurts, but Haven doesn’t even flinch. In fact, she equals my pressure. That’s the thing about finding the person you’re meant to be with. They match you at everything you do. Because even though they’re your other half, they’re also the exact same as you.

That is why Haven and I work.

We’re the same.

She glances up at me, a weak smile crossing her lips, as she leans in closer. “How about we give Poppy and her mama a moment? We haven’t told the guys out there what’s going on. They’ve been here for hours with no word. And you really need a walk and something to eat. Poppy needs something to eat too.”

Glancing over my shoulder, I peer at Livvy and Poppy sitting together, having a really nice moment.

I want to give Poppy this.

She deserves this.

Exhaling, I clear my throat, gaining their attention. Poppy glances up at me with a bright smile on her face. “Princess, you gonna be okay if Haven and I duck out for a moment? We wanna go check on the guys and grab you something to eat?”

Poppy looks back at Livvy, who continues to play with our girl. “Is it okay, mama?”

Livvy cuddles into Poppy further, though the pain is clear to see. “Absolutely. I want to… spend as much… time with my… girl as I can.”

My eyes meet Livvy’s just to double-check, and she softly nods. Weakly smiling, I reach for Haven’s hand, hesitate, and then we walk out of the hospital room. The second I leave her room and enter the corridor, I let out a huge breath and stop, bending over, my hands on my knees, and steal a moment. Haven is beside me, her hand on my back. “I got you. You feel whatever you need to feel, baby. I’m right here.”

Scrunching my face as I draw in a deep breath, I stand back up and look Haven in the eyes. “What the fuck happened?” I ask, now that we have a moment alone.

Her shoulders slump, her eyes closing as she leans back against the wall. “I got a call. They told me to come and to come alone. They had a tracker on my cell. I was blasé about it until I heard Livvy calling out in the background. I heard the pain in her voice. I could already tell they’d been hurting her, so I just went. I should have called for backup then and there. But the asshole had a tracker on me and told me not to call you. So, I didn’t. I wrongly thought I could handle it by myself. I’m so, so sorry, Alpha.” Her eyes meet mine, and for the first time since I met her, I see defeat shine back at me.

Something I never, ever thought I would see from Haven.

It hits me like a sledgehammer—straight in the chest.

This fucking Cartel has taken so much from me.

It took my daughter, made me think she was dead, but then they trained her as an assassin.

They caused my marriage to fall apart.

They turned members of my own club against me.

Livvy is going to die at their hands.

And now—seeing the fight and fury dimming from Haven’s eyes, is the last…

Fucking.

Straw.

Craning my neck to the side, my feet don’t fail me. I take two long strides toward Haven, my hands rushing to her face, forcing her to look at me. “Stop. This stops now. We’ve both had our moments of weakness, but this is only going to get harder from here. Do. You. Understand?”

Haven’s shoulders stiffen, her body tensing, her posture straightening back to her normal stature. “I understand.”

Drawing in long, deep breaths, our eyes lock. “I’m going to need Blue Jay to come out to play.”

A slow smile crosses her face, and she nods. “I think I can arrange that, but there is probably one other thing I should tell you about what happened with Javier Rojas.”

Tensing, I lower my hands from her face to her hips, keeping her pressed against the wall. “Tell me.”

“He had a bird with him. Someone I trained, Nighthawk . She helped us escape, but I don’t know if she made it out or not. If she did, I want to try to find her. See what information we can get from her about her time working with Javier while he was rebuilding the Cartel.”

Furrowing my brows, I roll my shoulders. “So, there’s more birds out there? We didn’t free them all?”

Haven shrugs. “I honestly don’t know at this point. We thought the Cartel was gone, but now they’re back. We thought The Nest was gone, then up pops an ex-bird. All I know right now, Alpha, is we have to get past one obstacle at a time. Right now, we focus on Livvy, then we move to the next step.”

Sighing, I nod. “Okay. Let’s go see the rest of the club, fill them in, and get some food for Poppy.”

Haven reaches for my hand, and then we take off for the family waiting area. With each pounding step I take, my body feels heavier, knowing I’m going to have to fill in the club on what’s happening.

I’ve left them far too long.

But I needed to be with my family.

I needed that time to get my head around this.

Now, I can start making plans—start prepping for what comes next.

Start preparing for how we seek vengeance for Livvy.

As we approach the family room, it’s easy to hear that the club is inside. And for some reason, the loud commotion of those noisy fuckers brings a genuine smile to my face. Haven cuddles into my side as we round the corner, entering the room. Loki, of course, is typing away into his laptop, Bea next to him on her cell. Rhyan’s sitting with her parents and Montana, playing some card game, and Dutch is arguing with Montana about the rules. Sadie and Maverick are sitting at the back, looking through what I think could be a pregnancy magazine. South and Ingrid are on the floor with Louis, trying to keep their young boy occupied. Clover, Phoenix, Rip, Ink, and Strings are standing by a makeshift food station that Navy, Hope, and Indigo are manning while Eggs and Weaver are fighting over the remote control for the television.

It’s loud. It’s chaotic, but it’s just like the clubhouse— comforting.

I glance at Haven, and she smiles, snuggling into me further as we step inside the room. Clover notices me first, her eyes practically bulging out of her head. “Oh my God, Pres, it’s so good to see you,” she states, rushing straight for me.

Everyone snaps their heads to face us as Clover launches and unexpectedly slams into me, embracing me so tight I can barely breathe. Hesitating for a moment, the emotion washes over me again, and I wrap my arms around Maverick’s baby sister to hug her back.

“Jesus, Clo, give the pres room to breathe, will you?” Maverick calls out, shaking his head at his sister.

Clover pulls back, her eyes wide in shock as she stares up at me. “Shit. Sorry. It’s just the waiting, you know?” She frowns, stepping back from me.

Exhaling, I nod, wracking my jaw from side to side. “Yeah, I do. I should have come out to see you all far sooner than this. As your president, it’s my job to keep you informed, and I have failed to do that—”

“Don’t beat yourself up, Pres. This shit’s heavy. You’re entitled to take a beat,” Loki states. His words registering in my mind.

I tilt my head, sighing a little at the realization. “Has Rhodes told you what’s happening with Livvy?”

Loki closes his laptop, then steps forward, his expression somber as he rests his hand on my shoulder comfortingly. “He’s been keeping us updated the whole time,” Loki hesitates, his eyes falling to the floor. “The last time he came in, he said it probably wouldn’t be much longer.” His eyes shift back up to me, fear etched in them. “Is she?”

I grimace. “Still holding on. We’re giving Poppy some time with her mother, but we wanted to go and find her some food. Should have realized Navy would have taken care of it for us.”

Navy smiles comfortingly at me from the back of the room behind her buffet table. “The nursing staff were not happy with me, but you know me, Pres. I fight for my club and what I need to happen for them. My people need to be fed, so I bring them sustenance.”

I shrug. “That’s why you’re the best, Navy. Can you put together something for Poppy for me?”

Navy beams from ear to ear. “Already on it, and don’t think I’m not making you and Haven a plate too. I know neither of you have eaten either.”

Simply nodding, I shift my attention back to Loki, gesturing for him to come closer. He does, knowing I need to talk to him as my VP. We step out of the room into the hall, and he grips onto his leather cut, a serious look crossing his face. “All right, tell me. How bad is this payback going to be?”

“I need you to find out everything you can on Javier Rojas, the nephew of Rico Rojas. He’s kickstarted the Cartel back up, and by the looks of it, he has birds working with him.”

Loki stares at me blankly, and I watch as the color drains from his face. “Are you fucking kidding me?”

Groaning as I swipe my hand through my hair, I huff. “I really wish I were.”