Page 17 of Velvet and Valor (Platinum Security: Shadows of LA #4)

JUNE

The sound of gulls and breaking surf greets me as I drift into the realm of the waking.

A smile stretches my lips as warm memories of last night pool in my mind’s eye.

When I first met Axel, I thought he was good-looking, but that didn’t mean I planned on sleeping with him.

His immature attitude and constant irreverence created the image of a boy more than a man, soldier background be damned.

But Axel’s not as one dimensional as he apparently wants people to think. There’s depth there. Substance. I feel like he can take care of things…not to mention take care of me.

A soft giggle escapes my lips. Yeah, he took care of me last night, all right.

I should be so lucky as to be taken care of more often.

For the first time in what feels like forever, my first thoughts upon waking weren’t about work.

Maybe I’ve been so focused on my career and getting our studio off the ground, that I forgot how to live?

I try to tell myself it isn’t true. I’ve dated! I date all the time…No, not really. My girl-boss vibe puts a lot of men off. But Axel doesn’t seem to mind.

Speaking of Axel…I roll over and stretch my arm and leg out, hoping to snuggle up to him. Instead, all I find is an empty mattress. I sit up and peer around with sleep-heavy eyes. Where is he?

The bathroom is empty, as is the kitchen. The beach house doesn’t take long to search. Axel’s car is still parked outside, so if he left, he did so on foot.

For a moment, panic threatens to seize me. What if something happened to Axel? But that doesn’t make any sense. Why would Moorcrock and the people he represents take Axel, but not me?

Then it hits me: beach house. A can of surfboard wax on the kitchen counter. Duh!

I slip on one of Axel’s shirts, which comes to the middle of my thighs, and step outside onto the patio. The pacific rolls in with a decent swell, the sun scintillating off its rising and falling waves. I spot a lone surfer paddling out past the breakers, his blonde hair shining in the sun.

Axel lets one of the waves pass, then gears up for the next, larger one.

He switches from a prone position to standing in one, sinuous movement that’s so smooth I can’t believe it.

Axel shoots along the shimmering blue wall, his body standing out in stark relief against the backdrop.

I should have brought my phone, because it would make a fantastic photo.

Axel’s pretty good, though maybe not pro level. He falls off the board a couple of times, but overall, he is impressive. What’s even more impressive, though, is when he spots me and comes up out of the water.

Axel emerges from the sea, at first only his head and shoulders are visible. Slowly, his torso reveals itself in all its fearful symmetry. Jesus. Fucking. Christ. You could grate cheese on those abs!

Then he comes further onto shore, and the water level dips below his waist. His tiny trunks leave little to the imagination, and I’m as mesmerized by the sinewy pillars of his thighs as anything.

Maybe it’s the water, making him glisten like a swimwear model, but my god I want to touch him right now.

“Good morning, Gorgeous,” Axel says, coming up to me and leaning over to press his warm mouth on me. I slap an arm around his neck and pull him in tighter, even though he’s soaking wet. I love the way he tastes. “Did you miss me?”

“No, not at all.”

We share a secret smile, and then head back into the beach house, his arm around my waist. Then the hand drops down and grabs my ass. I squeal, then leap back and slap him firmly on his.

“Where’s my breakfast, bitch?” I ask.

Axel laughs so hard, his face turns red, and he almost can’t stand up. I beam a smile. It’s sexy when a guy thinks you’re funny. Like, for real and not just faking it to get into your pants. If Axel is faking this, he deserves an Academy Award.

“I can whip us up something,” Axel says when we get back, opening cabinet doors and staring. “Hmmm. Um, well…I have some pasta…”

I pick up my cell phone and give him a look.

“What’s the address here?”

Axel cocks an eyebrow.

“Here,” he says. “Use my phone. Just in case.”

“Just in case what?”

“Harlowe—did you meet her? —can do all kinds of freaky techno-wizardry with phones and computers. Now, I have no idea if Moorcrock or his associates have the same capability, but I’d rather not bet your life on it. If they figure out where you’re sending food with the app…”

He doesn’t have to finish. I get the picture.

“Fair enough,” I say. “But I’m using my credit card.”

“Nah, just use the default payment method,” Axel says.

I stick my tongue out at him and search for nearby restaurants. Unfortunately, his remote beach house is…remote. There aren’t many options, and the food won’t get here before an hour.

“What are you ordering?” he asks.

“Hawaiian food,” I reply cryptically.

“Oh. Um, is that like, sea turtles and stuff?”

I give him a look.

“Do you think they sell sea turtles?”

“In Cali? Yeah, you can probably get some somewhere.”

I open my mouth to argue but then close it.

“Yeah, that is likely, actually, but no, there is no sea turtle in the order I just made.” I sigh. “Bad news is, it’s going to be an hour before it gets here.”

“I need to grab a shower anyway,” Axel says. “I think I swam through a cloud of…ah, I just need a shower.”

He’s learning to adjust his quips to his audience. More proof he’s got more going on than an overgrown adolescent playing soldier.

Axel stops at the hallway and looks over his shoulder.

“Care to join me?”

I smile and pull his shirt off over my head. Then I sling it over my shoulder and walk past him into the shower. His eyes burn into my exposed skin. Maybe being a little irreverent isn’t a bad thing all the time.

He steps into the shower with me. Axel’s arms wrap around my body. He pulls me up against him for another kiss.

“You’re something else,” I say, breathlessly, when we come up for air.

“So are you.”

Axel’s lips crush mine with a kiss while the warm water sluices over our bodies. As usual, his kiss has me light-headed and giddy.

But I’m June Mayweather—and there’s no good situation I can’t find a reason to doubt. Axel senses my sudden reluctance and pulls away.

“What’s wrong?” he asks, eyes full of concern.

“Axel. I don’t want to get hurt.”

Axel smiles and kisses me on top of the head.

“I won’t let anything happen to you, June. The Triad, Moorcrock and his thugs, they will never hurt you. I promise.”

He hugs me again, which means he can’t see the expression I’m making right now. One of disappointment and worry. Axel didn’t get what I meant at all. I wasn’t talking about Moorcrock being the one to hurt me.

When we get out of the shower, he dries me carefully on the bathmat. In a caring, not sexual way, which ironically just riles me up. He just kind of wraps the towel around my body in a hug and then caresses me with it.

I slip into one of his old shirts, and he puts on a pair of clean board shorts just in time for the food to arrive. My belly growls at the smell of delicious grilled fare still steaming, protected on the long ride by a top-notch thermal bag.

That’s good, because fried chicken is only good when it’s still crispy. For a time, all Axel and I talk about is the food and how good it is.

“I’ve never had rice this good before,” Axel says. “I could just douse it with this chicken sauce.”

“Don’t hog the good stuff,” I say, rescuing a plastic cup before he empties it entirely onto his dish.

His eyes shine in the afternoon light streaming through the windows. Axel is easy to look at. I just want to sigh whenever his eyes look like that. For some reason, I find him easy to talk to, as well, despite our divergent backgrounds.

“So,” Axel says, wiping his mouth, “how does it feel to be the gatekeeper of people’s hopes and dreams?”

“What?” I laugh, though I’m as confused as amused. “What do you mean by that?”

“Well, there’s all kinds of people who want their films in theaters, and you have the power to make that happen with the stroke of a pen.” He shrugs. “I’m just saying, you’re the arbiter of people’s futures.”

“Okay, you're giving me way too much credit,” I say, holding up my hand, palm out. “First of all, I don’t own the studio by myself. Second, a small studio like us needs to convince theaters to give us screen time instead of the latest superhero flick, so we have to keep that in mind while selecting projects. And finally, it’s not like there aren’t other studios they could submit their properties to. ”

“Fair enough,” Axel says. “So, what are your hopes and dreams, then?”

“Um,” I say anxiously. “Wasn’t expecting that question…oh man, I don’t know!”

I laugh helplessly.

“You don’t want to be the next big-shot Hollywood producer?” Axel asks.

“Not really. I just want to create a legacy with our studio, something that will be around after I’m gone.” I can’t quite look him in the eyes when I say the next part. “And I suppose someday I want to settle down and start a family. Basic stuff, I know.”

“Nah, it’s not really basic,” he says. “And I totally get wanting to leave behind a legacy. I mean, not for me, but I get why you would want to.”

I cock an eyebrow at him.

“Let’s swing the pendulum your way, Axel,” I say. “What are YOUR dreams, hopes, and aspirations?”

“You mean besides being the oil rub down boy at the bikini competition?” he asks.

I roll my eyes and groan.

“Be serious for a second, Axel.”

He shrugs, his face getting that slack, ‘the hell do I care?’ look on it. The one I can’t stand.

“I am being serious,” he says.

“Axel, come on, even you have to have some kind of dream. Even if it’s just surfing the perfect tasty curl.”

“Eh, surfing’s all right, but I’m not that into it,” he says, again shrugging as if the future and our dreams for it don’t really matter. “I’m just a chill guy who doesn’t give a fuck, you know?”

“I don’t buy that, not for a minute,” I say, shaking my head. “Maybe you’ve got all your friends at the Security office convinced that you’re this shallow, immature guy, but you’ve accidentally shown your hand.”

Axel blows out a long sigh, his face losing the slacker expression, but something worse replaces it. Anger. Not quite a hot rage, more like a seething resentment.

“I’ll tell you why I don’t bother with plans for the future,” Axel says, his eyes and voice growing dark.

“I’ve seen too much. I’ve been to and fought in just about every armpit in the world.

I’m talking about places where human life is lower than a roll of toilet paper.

Fat cat corporations enrich themselves while people struggle in poverty.

Some of the people I took out needed to go.

No question about that. But at the end of the day, you wonder if any of it makes a bit of difference. ”

“There’s always hope things can get better, Axel,” I say softly, hurt by his words. But even more, I feel sorry for him if this is truly what he believes.

“No, I don’t think that there is,” he says deadpan, shaking his head. “I really don’t think there is. What’s the point of making future plans, or starting a family, when the next god-awful catastrophe could happen next week? Or tomorrow. Or ten minutes from now.”

I sigh. “Axel, making movies isn’t just about the glam and the box office returns. It’s about…it’s about understanding and celebrating the things that make us human.” I purse my lips into a frown. “This…despondency from you is heartbreaking.”

“I’m sorry,” he says stiffly. “Some of us have to live in the real world, and not Hollywood. Nothing in this world that’s good can last.”

“What about us?” I ask softly. “We have a lot of fun together, we enjoy each other’s company. Isn’t that something to be happy for?”

Axel stands up quickly and walks halfway across the living room. He stares out at the ocean, his back muscles tense.

“Things are good now,” he admits. “But will they stay that way? Sooner or later, the glow fades and then you’re just two people sleeping together. And then you get married, and you don’t even do that.”

It hits me like an icicle stabbed through my belly. I can’t believe Axel is saying these things. It hurts, it’s depressing, and suddenly I just don’t want to be around him.

I get up off the sofa and walk toward the guest room.

“Where are you going?” he asks when he realizes I’m halfway out the door.

“To take a nap.”

I slam the door shut a little harder than I have to. Then I sink onto the bed and cover my face with my hands.