Page 109 of Vegas Duology

ChapterTwenty-Seven

Two dayslater I picked out the suit Uncle Ray would be buried in.

Only a few hours after I'd left his bedside, and only six hours before he was scheduled to have his life-saving surgery, he'd suffered a second massive heart attack and died in his sleep.I felt the loss even before Sara Beth called from the hospital to give me the news.

Andrew helped me tell Ben, who asked a million questions before breaking down into tears when he realized his Papa wouldn't be coming home.A little boy's heart breaks hard and I held him tightly while he cried angry, loud tears.When Ben had sobbed himself to sleep, Andrew carried him to bed and then settled me on the couch with a soft blanket and a cup of tea.He sat in the chair across the room.Even in tragedy, the gulf between us couldn't be breached.

"How are you doing?"he asked me.

"I don't know if it's hit me yet," I said."But I'm okay.More okay than I thought I'd be.We had a good talk and I'm glad I had that time with him."

"When you want to talk about it, you know I'll be here, right?"

I nodded.My eyes fixed on the vase Andrew had filled with tulips, Uncle Ray's favorite, and brought into the living room for me."You're a good man," I said, echoing Uncle Ray's words.

"But not the one for you," Andrew said.It wasn't a question.

It wasn't the right time to talk about this.Not today.I focused on the vase.It represented love, real love.

Uncle Ray's words rang in my head."Don't let your life pass you by."

No, it was the right time.

"I'm sorry," I said.

"Don't be," he said, resigned.

I took a sip of my tea letting the warmth fill me."Ben," I said after a moment, forcing myself to look at him, "he's not yours."

I was ready for him to yell at me.I was ready for him to scream, rage, cry, get up and walk out.I was ready for anything.I held my breath and waited.

"I know," he said quietly."I've always known."

"Andrew, I...what?What did you say?"

"Lexi, I've always known Ben's not mine."He said the words calmly and looked me in the eye the whole time he spoke.I would know if he was lying, making up a story to hurt me but there was only truth reflected there.

"How?"

"Well, he looks nothing like me," Andrew said and laughed a little.

Did he think this was funny?I felt detached from my body, like I was floating above the couch.I clenched the mug, needing to feel the burn of heat on my skin.

Andrew's face changed; the moment of levity gone."I know because I can't have children, Lexi.When you told me you were pregnant, I knew that there was only a very slight chance that the baby could be mine.And when he was born, well...I think it's obvious he's not mine."

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"I loved you.You know how much I wanted to be with you.I would've done anything."

"But if you knew the baby wasn't yours..."

"I assumed it was just an indiscretion on your part," he said."We all make mistakes."

I shook my head."No," I said.It wasn't like that.I refused to think of Leo as an indiscretion.And Ben?My baby?He was not a mistake.Trying to steady myself, I focused again on the vase.

"Well, if it—"

"Wait a minute," I said.My mind raced over what Andrew had just told me."You said you knew Ben wasn't yours because you can't have children?"