Page 31 of Vanquished by a Viscount (Tales from the Brotherhood #3)
Fifteen
W hy on earth would Grayson want him when a man like Howard Bradford clearly wanted him as well?
Charlie tried not to let that thought consume him as he put as much distance between himself and Gray as he could.
Whether Robert had issued the invitation or Bradford had invited himself, the man was there to stay.
Even in the mildest turn of events, Charlie suddenly had competition for the affections of the man he had firmly believed would have feelings toward him no matter what, even if those feelings were hatred.
“Charlie, whyever are you looking so glum?” Barbara asked him when he found her in a small circle of her friends out on the lawn, under a marquee, painting teacups.
“Glum?” Charlie blinked, feigning complete ignorance of his sister’s astute observation. “I am not glum. I have come to tell you that there has been a change of plans for tonight’s program.”
“Change of plans?” Barbara looked exceedingly worried.
Whatever she worried might have happened, Charlie quickly put her at ease with, “Mr. Howard Bradford of the South Eastern Railway has arrived at Hawthorne House to discuss business with Lord Felcourt and myself, and he has been convinced to stay and give an informative lecture about the current state of railroads in England.”
“Oh, how fascinating,” Lady Winifred said, glancing up from her horribly painted teacup with a smile. “I have been quite interested in the state of the railroads of late.”
“Dear, I do not think Lord Broxbourne cares,” Miss Martin whispered to her friend with a sly, knowing expression.
Charlie tensed, his mind racing through the usual set of panicked possibilities when he suspected someone knew the truth about him.
He forced himself to breathe and smile at his sister a moment later. What would an innocent young woman like Miss Martin know of men like him? It was more likely that she was simply teasing her friend because Charlie had shown no interest in marrying her.
But the unease remained.
“This is brilliant,” Barbara said, surprising him with her enthusiasm, and with the way she leapt up from her chair and stepped closer to him.
“A lecture about English railroads will be just the thing. In fact, it is such a lovely idea that I believe the two of us should take the carriage and travel around to our neighbors, inviting them to this evening’s event. ”
An abundance of fondness for his sister welled up in Charlie’s heart. Whether she wished to vacate Hawthorne House for her own reasons or whether she saw his tension and his need to get away for a few hours, he loved her for the suggestion. “Yes,” he said. “I will accompany you on your rounds.”
The two of them rushed off, making feeble excuses to the others. They would have prepared the carriage themselves if it would have sped the process along, the two of them were so eager to escape.
“I know my reasons for wishing to be away from the estate,” Barbara said once they had driven well beyond the grounds of Hawthorne House. “What are yours?”
Charlie squirmed under her all-too acute smile. “My reasons are not appropriate for a young woman of your sweet character to hear,” he said.
“Love troubles with Grayson, then?” she said, her grin turning even more impish.
“You know nothing of the matter,” Charlie told her, crossing his arms and looking out the window.
“I know you’ve spent the last four nights together, either in your room or his.”
Charlie made an incredulous sound, but his face burned and he was certain his expression was guilty. “How would you know that when you’ve been spending your nights away from the house in the cottage?” he asked.
“Servants talk, Charlie,” she said with a knowing look. “And servants know everything.”
Charlie grunted and rolled his eyes. Of course they did. Servants were the ones who truly ruled the world while their masters only believed they did. Hawthorne House’s servants had caught him and Grayson together more than once now.
“It is nothing,” Charlie said, still wishing to keep his secrets to himself.
“We’ve merely had a minor falling out over—” He stopped, no idea how to explain Bradford to his sister.
Any explanation would necessitate sharing far more desires and insecurities with her than he would ever be comfortable with.
“It will all work itself out in the end,” Barbara insisted, carelessly arranging her skirts on her lap. “And if it does not, you can come live in the cottage with me.”
Charlie laughed, despite the awkwardness of the moment.
Whatever other peculiarities his sister might have had, she was a sweet and clever woman.
“It may come to it at that,” he said, willing himself to bare more of his soul to Barbara.
“It appears I might have a rival for Grayson’s affections, and I… I am uncomfortable with it.”
“And so you have run away from Hawthorne House instead of standing your ground and fighting for your lover?” Barbara suggested, one eyebrow raised.
Charlie’s eyebrows flew up at her astute observation. “Are you not doing the same?” he asked. “Are you not avoiding your husband rather than facing whatever temporary and insignificant trouble has cropped up between the two of you?”
Barbara huffed in irritation, then burst into laughter.
She shifted from the forward-facing seat to sit by Charlie’s side in the rear-facing one, hugging his arm and resting her head on his shoulder.
“Oh, Charlie,” she said. “We are a pair of ridiculous, lost souls. Neither of us has the first notion of what to do with love when it visits us.”
Charlie shifted to slide his arm around Barbara’s back so he could hold her closer. “Is that what it is? Was our education in the ways of love so inadequate that both of us would rather run from it than embrace it?”
“Yes,” Barbara answered firmly. She softened a bit to say, “Yours is the only love I have ever known, Charlie, and as I am learning, one cannot love a husband in the same way one loves a brother. I must love Robert more than you.” Her voice turned sullen. “But I do not want to.”
Charlie drew in a breath and glanced down at Barbara. Was that the difficulty that had arisen between Barbara and Robert? Did Barbara think she was being disloyal to him by being madly in love with Robert?
“I will always love you, Barb,” he said with feeling. “And I know you will always love me. We are allowed to love and adore more than one person in our lives. And I do not begrudge you any sort of affection or loyalty toward your husband at all. Robert has joined me in your heart, not replaced me.”
“It does not feel that way,” Barbara said with a sniffle. “It feels as if everything is changing and I am not entirely prepared for it.”
“We are never prepared for the changes in life,” Charlie said, kissing the top of her head. “We can only muddle along and do the best we can.”
They were given only a few minutes of loving silence before arriving at a neighbor’s house. Charlie had half a mind to tell the driver to continue on so that he could enjoy a few more moments of peace, but Barbara was eager to alight and speak to her neighbors.
They spent the better part of the midday visiting and issuing invitations to the night’s lecture.
The outing did a great deal to ease Charlie’s mind about every situation he had before him.
Yes, Bradford was a stunningly perfect specimen of masculinity that even he would have gone silly over, but that did not mean Grayson was suddenly out of his reach.
It did not mean he was necessarily inferior either, though it was difficult to keep himself convinced of that as Bradford stood before the rather large assembly of guests in the conservatory that night, delivering a brilliant lecture about railroads and steam power.
“That man is magnificent,” Barbara’s neighbor, Lady Farleigh, whispered to him as Bradford finished his lecture and the guests applauded.
Charlie only had to grit his teeth a little as he answered, “Yes, he is, rather.”
Nearly every eye in the conservatory was on Bradford as he received congratulations for his lecture.
Charlie had eyes only for Gray, though. He had been unable to speak with Gray since returning to Hawthorne House after his outing with Barbara, both because he had needed to change for supper and because Grayson had been busy spearheading the day’s entertainments.
They were on opposite sides of the room now, but as Bradford received his accolades, Gray happened to look across the room and meet Charlie’s eyes.
Gray’s expression was one of desperate hope and question. The man truly did wear his heart on his sleeve, which was not necessarily a good thing where the focus of his affections was concerned.
“Have a care around Mr. Grayson Hawthorne, my lord,” Lady Farleigh told Charlie as the two of them stood and stepped aside so the footmen could rush in and clear the chairs that had been set up for the lecture.
“I beg your pardon?” Charlie asked as he escorted Lady Farleigh to the side of the room.
The woman looked very serious indeed as she said, “He is a lost soul and in violation of God’s natural order.”
Charlie feigned ignorance, but inwardly, his heart sank to his stomach. “Surely not,” he said with a light laugh.
“Why do you think the young man fled to the Continent?” Lady Farleigh asked. “It is because his vile nature was exposed, bringing shame on the entire Hawthorne family. If I were you, I would advise your sister to banish the man at once so that her good reputation might be preserved.”
Charlie opened his mouth but remained speechless.
That very sort of gossip was the entire reason he had ended things with Gray seven years ago.
Lady Farleigh was proof that they were not out of danger yet and that they would likely never be out of danger, despite the protection afforded by title, wealth, and, indeed, The Brotherhood.
“I shall take that into consideration and advise my sister,” Charlie said.