Page 19

CHAPTER NINETEEN

That night, my dreams were disturbingly normal. I’d expected a lot of turmoil, but I woke up refreshed, feeling like—for once—I’d slept without worry, without grief, and without tension. I yawned, then got a chestful of fluff when Miss P. pounced on me, purring and licking my face.

“Hey, I’m getting up, all right? Okay! Okay, floofbutt,” I said, laughing as she frantically began grooming me, licking my face and snuffling near my ear.

I pushed myself up, surprised to see the sun shining through the window. It was early light, pale and ethereal, but it was sunshine, nevertheless. I’d taken a shower the night before, so I dressed in a pair of dark blue leggings, a warm mint-green jersey tank dress, and slid on a navy denim bolero jacket. I brushed my hair into a ponytail, put on my makeup, and then slipped into a pair of ankle boots with chunky heels. As I headed downstairs, I thought about the date with Kyle, and a warm fuzzy feeling spread through me.

Astra had made oatmeal and sausage links, and she was checking her email on her tablet while she ate. She looked up as I entered the kitchen, humming.

“You certainly sound like you woke up on the right side of the bed,” she said. “Oatmeal is in the pan, and it’s still hot.”

I flipped on the espresso machine and pulled three shots. I frothed the milk and added vanilla and caramel syrup, and mixed everything into my butterfly travel mug. Next, I scooped some oatmeal into a bowl, added some evaporated milk, brown sugar, raisins, and a pat of butter, then joined Astra at the table.

“How did the evening go?” she asked, pushing her tablet back.

I stirred my cereal. “Well, we’re going on a second date. I did have a slight meltdown when he kissed me.”

“Was he a bad kisser?” Astra asked, grinning. But she quickly sobered as tears welled in my eyes.

“Not at all. I enjoyed it…that’s the problem. I thought about it last night before I went to sleep. At first I thought it was just that I missed Dan, but I realized that I felt guilty. I feel guilty because I’m moving on.” I spooned some of the oatmeal into my mouth. “Last month Dan told me that he’s moved ahead, that I’m not leaving him behind. It’s easy to see that analytically, but my heart…my heart still feels like I’m betraying him.”

I dropped my spoon in my bowl as tears began to trickle down my cheeks. “I want to be happy. I want to move on. I know Dan wants me to. I just don’t know how to let my last cords to the past go, and to step into the future.”

Astra reached across the table and took my hands. “My chickadee…what would it take for you to move ahead? Do you know?” She handed me a tissue.

I wiped my eyes, then took a drink of my latte. What would it take for me to let go? I frowned, stirring my oatmeal again. “I’m not sure,” I said, but in the back of my mind, I heard a whisper—it sounded like Aphrodite—saying, You need to really start over. You need to reinvent your path into something you really love.

Startled, I looked over at Astra. “I’m not sure what this means, but Aphrodite just told me that I need to reinvent my path into something I really love. But I love matchmaking.”

“Do you? Truly?” Astra asked.

I stopped short. “What do you mean?”

“Let me put it this way: what do you love about it?” Astra got up to serve herself some more oatmeal. “Do you love the actual matchmaking, or the elements that go into it? I know you haven’t been satisfied with how your business is doing.”

I sighed. “I never thought about it that way. Right now, I have to admit, I enjoyed my job in Seattle better than having my own business here. I’m trying to be positive but I’m not feeling like I’m achieving enough.”

“Okay, there’s that. So, what do you love about matchmaking?”

“I love bringing people together. I love seeing that spark when they click. I love…” I paused, thinking for a moment. “I love bringing harmony into the world. I love making people happy, and taking away their loneliness and fear.”

“What about marriage? Are you focused on helping them find their life-partners? Where does that figure into it? I sense you’re on the edge of a breakthrough.”

“Let me think.” I finished my oatmeal, trying to process the questions she asked me. After a moment, I said, “It’s not so much the marriages. It’s bringing people together. It’s taking away their pain or their loneliness or their fear.”

“Then how can you shift your business to focus on those things?” Astra asked. “Forget about what you did in the past. What can you do to turn things around?”

Taking a deep breath, I said, “Well, I suppose…”

All of a sudden, the monthly Midnight Hour meetings flashed through my mind. The town’s social club was fine, but it wasn’t what I’d do if I were running it. And then, I thought about the size of my store. It wasn’t big, but it was too big for just a matchmaking service.

“I could start a social club. I could focus on giving people a place to meet and have fun. That way, even if they aren’t ready for marriage, but they want to meet people and get out and mingle, they’ll have another option. The Midnight Hour feels like it’s more for couples who just want to go to a country club.” I sat straighter, thinking about the possibility, growing more excited as I envisioned opening up my shop once every couple weeks for mixers.

“What else could you do?” Astra asked.

“I could expand my house cleansing, blessing, and clearing services.” Another thought hit me and I snapped my fingers. “I could include baby blessings, rites of passage rituals, I could perform marriages and even…facilitate rituals for couples who want to let go—amicably. But I’m not about to mediate angry lovers.”

“And how would doing all that make you happy?”

“Helping people find peace, helping them find joy. That’s it, really—I want to help people find their joy.” I leaned back in my seat. “I thought it was all about finding joy in finding a partner, and that’s part of it, but there’s so much more.”

“And now, you have some things to think about.” Astra carried our dishes to the sink. “So, what are you going to do next?”

I worried my lip. “I think, I’ll finish up with Zandre, and meanwhile, I’ll sit down and revamp my goals. I’ll focus on how I can bring peace and joy into the world.”

“Then you have a plan,” Astra said, kissing my forehead. “As to Kyle, go on a second date, don’t rush it, and see where it leads. I like him,” she added.

“So do I,” I said, gathering my things to head for the office.

* * *

By the next day, I had settled on expanding my business. Crystal and I were sitting at my desk, lattes and cookies in hand, as I told her about my talk with Astra and the conclusions I had come to.

“It’s not all about marriage. It’s about helping people find their joy, and that can include marriage, but it can also include people finding friends, bringing peace into their environments, creating meaningful milestones in their lives.” I felt like the world had opened wide for me. That I was on the precipice of major transformation, both in my personal life and my business life.

“This is exciting,” Crystal said. “I think you’re going to draw a lot of people into the shop. And if you add in selling some premade charms, maybe some perfumes or hey—what about a lover’s spell kit, with incense, candles, perfumes, and an incantation that a couple can perform before a special night? If you have those on the shelves when you hold your mixers, people will see that you offer more than just a matchmaking service.”

I nodded. “That sounds good. When I first thought about opening the business, I thought about trying to mimic what I was doing in Seattle. But I can’t—they have all the databases, the population can support their services… Those are things I don’t have here. With my former company, I only focused on matchmaking. Now, I have time to really expand my vision.” I paused, then asked, “How about you? Are you excited about your initiation?”

“I am,” she said. I feel like this is going to open a whole new world for both of us.” But her expression clouded over.

“What’s wrong?”

“I think…we’re going to be facing a lot more problems like we did with the psychic vampire in the coming future. Call it intuition or future-casting, but I think that the Covenant of Chaos is going to rise into prominence again, and it feels like that’s one reason we’re both being drawn into the Dark Moon Society. We’re going to be needed.”

As she spoke, a shadow crossed my grave and I shivered. “You may be right,” I said. “Maybe that’s why we’ve been drawn in. Now that you mention it, I can feel it too.”

As we sat there, I looked around my shop. I was starting to have glimpses of how I might change it, and what it would look like. And some of those potential changes led down a dark path before they found their way into the light.

* * *

“I can’t believe I let you talk me into this,” Crystal said. She was wearing a pair of black pants, a black turtleneck, and a gold belt. She looked far more feminine than she usually did. “How do I look?”

“Great,” I said, rather surprised. I hadn’t bothered to change, except for freshening my makeup. I was wearing a dusty blue cold-shoulder dress that was a medium-weight jersey, and a pair of gray leggings. I had added a gray patent leather belt, but in no way looked ready for a fancy date. I didn’t want to stand out as too appealing.

I had picked her up on the way to Numa’s Steak House.

“What’s he like?” Crystal asked.

“You’ve never met a vampire before, have you? It’s okay—I hadn’t either. Actually, Zandre is polite and nice. He’s intense, but I think that goes with the territory. Part of it may be his glamour. Vampires can turn on the glamour, yes, but to some extent, it seems like an innate trait.” I paused, then said, “Remember in seventh grade when we were drooling over vampire romances?”

We’d gone through a period where we read every vampire romance novel we could find. I flashed back to how I devoured them, massively in love with the idea of someone wanting me bad enough to take me through eternity with them.

Crystal laughed. “Yeah.” She blushed. “Can I tell you something before we get there?”

“Sure, what is it?”

“I have to admit, I still read vampire romances.”

Surprised, I glanced at her. “You do? That surprises me.”

“Yeah, there’s something else.” She cleared her throat. “I need to tell you something. No secrets between besties, right?”

“Right,” I said, worried. “What’s going on, Crystal?”

She took a deep breath. “I’m…I’ve always wanted to meet a vampire. Not a psychic vampire, like Marcus, but…a real vampire. I always thought it would be terribly romantic to spend eternity with someone I love.”

I tried to understand what she was saying. “Is that why you don’t date?”

Crystal shifted uncomfortably. “Maybe.”

I pulled over to the curb, easing into a parking space. “What’s going on, Crystal?”

“All right, here’s the thing.” She blushed and stared out the window. “I’ve got a thing for vamps. I’ve tried to ignore it, but I just find the whole concept so damned hot. I’m not interested in relationships, per se, but I guess those books hit hard because I still find myself fantasizing about being swept away by some handsome, wounded undead hero. And I’m so embarrassed. I didn’t ever want to tell you because I sound like some moony teenaged girl, drooling over a cardboard cutout.”

I didn’t know what to say. I had known Crystal since we were little girls, and though she hadn’t been that interested in dating when we were kids, I thought maybe she was just asexual or maybe she had other priorities. I hadn’t ever dreamed that those late-night conversations over all the book and movie boyfriends we had crushes on were actually still part of her psyche.

Swallowing my surprise, I struggled to find the right thing to say. It felt like she’d just told me that she committed some crime that she’d kept secret all these years. But I didn’t want to make her feel bad—everybody had their own preferences. Even though I’d never known about her vampire fetish, if it could be called that, it didn’t make her any different than the Crystal I had always known and loved.

“You know,” I said after a moment, “I want to apologize. I don’t ever want you to feel like you have to hide something from me. We’re ride-or-die buddies, and unless you do something horrific, there’s nothing you can say that would make me look at you with anything but love, support, and friendship. Please, if I ever make you feel hesitant again, let me know, please ?”

Crystal sighed, leaning back in her seat. “Thank you. This is the one thing I’ve hidden from you. I always felt like I might be some kind of…perv?”

“Oh trust me, given I’m in the process of getting a real pervert kicked out of the academy, you’re nothing near that. Now, if you wanted to date a zombie, I’m not sure I could handle that .” I laughed, glancing over at her.

“Eww, trust me. I want my man with all his body parts. If any are missing, it better be through an accident…okay, that sounds weird. But you know what I mean. No dropping rotting arms or legs along the way.” She grimaced. “We’re rapidly descending into a weird space, you realize that, don’t you?”

“I think we passed that mark a long ways back,” I said. “All right, let’s head out. And I want you to promise me something: If you do find Zandre attractive…tell me. I want to find him his love, and I don’t want to miss that just because you might feel hesitant about saying anything.”

Crystal laughed, then sobered. “I promise,” she said. “And I have to say, I’m actually going into this with an open mind.”

As we headed for the steakhouse, my thoughts were flying in a million directions, and all of them felt uncharted.