Page 20 of Vampires and Violas (A Vampire’s Guide to Gardening #2)

19

Perhaps it’s the baby monster inside me, but I suddenly have the urge to kill my brother.

Okay, not literally.

Just…you know. Some pain.

Dad stares at Max, his expression growing more agitated by the second. “Excuse me?”

Max heads toward one of the couches, gesturing for us to follow him. As soon as he sits, he looks my way. I scowl at him, but he only responds with a “ Don’t worry, I’ve got this ” smirk.

He better have this.

“You know how Kevin was murdered, right?” Max says.

“ What? ” Mom exclaims, as stunned as you might expect.

“That’s not funny,” Dad growls.

“No, it wasn’t.” Max frowns at me. “You didn’t even tell them that?”

I give him a helpless look.

“It was all over social media,” he says to our parents, his tone slightly condescending. “If you’d signed up for an account like I suggested years ago?—”

“Max,” Dad warns.

“Okay, let me summarize,” my brother says, changing tactics. “Unbeknownst to us, Piper acquired a stalker. He found out Kevin was cheating on Piper, so he killed him and made it look like a suicide. Then the stalker guy took Piper out on a date and bit her?—”

“He did what?” Dad demands.

Let. Me. Die.

But Max bravely forges ahead. “Piper got sick and went to the doctor. They ran a blood test, and she tested positive for Vampiria B. We learned vampires are real, but don’t worry—she’s just in the first stage.

“Noah is a conservator—a baby vamp bodyguard, if you will. He got called in to protect Piper from the big, bad vampire. He moved in and saved her life a few times. We caught the vampire stalker, he went to jail, and now everything’s cool. Piper did freak out a bit when she found out Noah is a final-stage vampire, but I think she’s pretty much over that. Olivia informed me just this afternoon they’re dating now.” He looks at me, raising his eyebrows. “Did I miss anything?”

I hate you, I say silently. You are dead to me.

He smiles back, wicked. This is probably his revenge for how I broke the news to him.

Understandably, our parents stare at him like he’s lost his fool mind.

“You two have three seconds to tell us what’s actually going on here,” Dad says, his tone terrifyingly even.

He hasn’t used the three-second thing on us since high school. We never found out what happened at the end of it—we valued our lives.

“No, I’m serious,” Max insists. “There’s a prescription for blood in the fridge. If you don’t believe me, go look.”

“That’s not funny, Max,” Mom says quietly. “What’s actually going on?”

“Better get the pamphlets,” Max tells me. “Do you still have them?”

“I think they’re in my office.” I get up, feeling ill.

“Let’s say you’re not full of crap,” Dad says, not believing a word of it. He waves his hand toward Cassian. “Who’s this loser?”

“That’s Cassian.” Max grins. “He’s a vampire prince.”

So…my dad called the cops.

Apparently, that’s what happens at the end of the three seconds. Now we know.

And it wasn’t exactly the cops . He called his friend, the chief deputy sheriff. He’s convinced Noah and Cassian are a couple of con artists preying on na?ve me.

Apparently, Sheriff Thompson didn’t want to explain everything over the phone because he said he’d head over here. I’m sure his wife is thrilled he was called out just before dinner.

I’ve never met the man, but I have no doubt he’s familiar with NIHA. Apparently, Cassian and Noah feel the same because they’re not as agitated as I would be if I were in their shoes.

While we wait, Dad lectures me in the kitchen. “Piper, I know you think this is real—that’s how these people work. But there is no such thing as vampires.” His face turns red, and he lowers his voice to an angry growl. “I can’t believe we’re even having this conversation.”

“If they were con artists, would they sit there, waiting for the sheriff to arrive?”

“How should I know what a con artist would do?”

“Dad.” I close my eyes, feeling a migraine coming on. “Let’s sit down until your friend gets here, okay? You want coffee? I’ll make some.”

“I don’t want to use up all those fussy beans you can’t afford,” he says, just being petulant now.

I roll my eyes and turn toward the cupboard, pulling glasses onto the counter. “Fine, you get iced tea.”

“Would you stop pretending this is normal?”

I whirl back around. “It is normal. Just not…your normal.”

I’m trying to remember that Max and I were both wrecks when we first learned about all this and give him a little grace. But he’s making it very difficult.

“What the heck are you doing?” he demands when I pour Cassian’s glass of beef broth.

“Cassian can’t have any plant-based foods, even coffee or tea,” I explain as I move on to the iced tea. “It’s not a vampire thing. He just has an intolerance.”

I swear Dad curses under his breath, but it’s quiet enough I can’t make it out. Probably a good thing.

“Here.” I shove two glasses of iced tea into his hands. “Help me carry these in.”

“I’m not serving con artists.”

“One is yours, and the other is Mom’s,” I snap. “Now, would you please go sit down ?”

I expect him to argue, but he just scowls for another few seconds and then shuffles into the living room.

I follow him, giving Cassian his broth and Noah his tea.

“Where’s mine?” Max asks.

“This is your fault,” I tell him while Dad and Mom quietly argue on the couch. “Get your own tea.”

“I’m going to make coffee.”

“Fine.” I watch him go. “Would you make enough for me? Decaf—it’s late.”

He waves back at me. “Yeah, yeah.”

When I attempt to sit next to Noah, Dad’s attention snaps back to me, and he barks, “No. You are not dating him, and you are not sitting by him.”

Then he points to the open spot next to him.

I’ve never been particularly rebellious, but I feel like some boundaries need to be drawn.

“Piper,” Noah says quietly. “It’s fine. Go sit by your dad.”

Not today. My father and I are practically in a staring match as I lower myself next to Noah.

I can feel Noah cringe.

“So.” Dad’s eye twitches. “Noah.”

“Yes, sir?” Noah asks, his tone calm and collected. But I know him well enough to hear the nerves in his words. He sits up straighter, giving Dad his full attention.

He wants my father to like him, poor guy.

“How long have you been a vampire ?” he asks, his tone dripping with sarcasm.

“Three years. We were tracking a rogue group, and I was attacked.”

Though Dad doesn’t believe a word of it, Mom looks incredibly uncomfortable.

“You said you were a hunter, right?” Dad says.

“I was, sir, yes. I was recently promoted.”

“Sure.” Dad smiles. “How do you kill a vampire anyway? Silver bullet? Or will any old bullet do?”

“ Dad, ” I snarl.

“Silver is a myth,” Noah answers.

“Good to know.”

The doorbell rings, interrupting the conversation.

“Thank goodness,” I breathe, bolting out of my seat. “I’ll let him in.”

Dad follows me to the door.

“Brian,” he says, nudging me to the side. “Thank you for coming over this late.”

The sheriff’s hair and goatee are peppered with gray. He’s tall and imposing, and he looks like he had a long day. I feel I should apologize for wasting his time, but I’m not sure how that will go over right now, so I keep my mouth shut.

“It’s not a problem, Robert,” he assures him.

“Come on in,” I say. “Can I get you something to drink?”

“No, I’m good. My wife has dinner waiting. I told her this wouldn’t take too long.”

We lead him into the living room, and Cassian and Noah rise.

“Sheriff Thompson.” Noah shakes the man’s hand. “Good to see you.”

I watch Dad, waiting for his reaction.

“You as well, Montgomery.” Sheriff Thompson then nods to Cassian. “Mr. Chevalier.”

“You know them?” Dad demands.

“How much have you told him?” Sheriff Thompson asks Noah.

“His daughter is a stage one pre-vamp, and his son is a new conservator. They were sharing the news.”

“Ah…I understand.” His mustache twitches with a smile. “Are you two the con artists?”

“Guilty.” Cassian doesn’t try very hard to hide his smirk.

“Someone better explain what’s going on,” Dad demands. “And why did you call him Montgomery? He said his name was Noah. ”

This is awkward.

“Noah is my middle name—what my family calls me,” Noah explains. “Montgomery is my first and the name I use for work.”

“Montgomery was just promoted to chief of investigations for NIHA,” Sheriff Thompson says. “We met last week.”

“What is NIHA?” Mom asks.

“Nicolau International Hematology Association,” Noah answers. “To put it simply, we govern vampires.”

“This is…” She shakes her head, looking a little faint. Then she turns to me. “You’re telling me…you’re saying…you’re actually a vampire ?”

She whispers the last word like it’s a filthy curse.

I sit down next to her. “Not exactly. I’m in a stage called pre-vampiric.”

Dad swears. “This is ridiculous.”

“Believe me, I felt the same when I found out about it after I completed my training,” Sheriff Thompson says. “But I can confirm these men’s identities. I assure you, they are not con artists.”