Page 22 of Valor
I remember wanting her to feel that way, to remember me, when I went off on my last deployment. I thought leaving her then was hard, but staying, sticking, is infinitely harder. Day-to-day life seems so simple in comparison that we forgot that sweet desperation of simply being with each other.
Normally, I’d tease her to the edge, draw it out and make it last, but she’s so tight and wet around me, the words don’t make it past my lips. All I can do is hold on to her slick skin, but it’s too much for me. It overwhelms me and it doesn’t help that she doesn’t seem to have the same problem.
“Yes, yes, yes, come, please,” she says in my ear. I try to fight it, but she nips at my earlobe and sends me crashing over the edge first, my vision going dark, with her at the center of my universe.
When I come to, her impish little grin seems all too satisfied. Normally, I’d pull out and get her off with my hands or mouth, but she’s not the only one with tricks.
She gets up to her elbows to reposition, but I prop myself up on my knees and keep thrusting in and out of her. The extra slickness from my orgasm makes it easy, even though I’m only half-hard in the aftermath.
“Ben?” she says questioningly. Then her eyes flutter closed and she falls back to the bed with a moan.
I could survive solely on the sounds of her pleasure, I swear.
I pin her legs back with my hands on the backs of her knees, opening her to me and keeping them wide. She loves being all vulnerable and I love that she trusts me to be that way. A flush spreads over her chest in seconds. I spread her wider and she thrashes her head back and forth on the pillow.
Mine.
As I thrust she lifts her hips higher and higher until I hit the spot that has her gripping the headboard and panting. I give her long, deep strokes and drink up her pleading whispers of “Don’t stop” like a man dying of thirst.
“I’m coming,” she says, “Oh, God, don’t stop, I’m coming.”
I watch it roll over her, see her body shudder and her breasts quake. I’ve seen it hundreds of times and could happily watch it a hundred more. Making love to her is an act akin to reverence.
Her hands bat at my chest as she grapples blindly for me. I come to a stop slowly, knowing she’s extra sensitive after a good, hard orgasm, especially when she’s’ pregnant. God, pregnant. There aren’t words to describe the elation that fills me at the thought of expanding our family by another miracle made of us both.
When she’s sated and languid, I leave her to get a warm cloth and clean us both up. That finished, I climb back under the sheets and curl her naked body against mine. I love having her next to me, wrapped around me.
I lean down to kiss her cheek and feel her tears. Startled, I study her face. “What’s wrong?”
She shakes her head. “Nothing, I promise. That felt so good and I’m just so happy. I don’t know how to handle being so happy. I’m just afraid something will happen and take it all away.”
Wiping away her tears I look deeply into her eyes. “Being scared is okay, as long as you know you can talk to me. That’s what I’m here for. But I don’t ever want you to be afraid of being too happy. Life is going to be a roller coaster. We’ll have our moments, and I’m not saying I won’t be a jackass from time to time, but I’m here with you, Spitfire, through everything. I’m not going anywhere. In fact, I love you more now than I did when I first met you, and I’ll keep loving you more every day, every year, until I die.”
“Ben.” Her voice is watery and it makes me smile as my hands find her still-flat stomach. I loved seeing her pregnant with Phoebe after I missed out on her pregnancy with Cole. I can’t wait to watch this one grow inside her, too.
“I don’t tell you enough. I’m not the best with that emotional shit, but if you need the words, I’ll give them to you. I’d do anything for you.” I speak quietly, but sincerely. I mean it down to my very soul. I’ll fight for her, for us, until the day I die.
Her hand comes to my cheek. “It’s nice to hear, but I don’t want you to think you’ve been letting me down. You’re a good husband, and a great father.”
“In some ways I have. Maybe we both need to make it a point to take a time out for the two of us, especially now since we’re going to be outnumbered by the little ones. From now on, we’ll have a date night at least once a week. But you have to talk to me when you’re feeling a little insecure. I’ll try to listen. I’m not great at it, but I’ll do my level best because you matter to me, Liv. I don’t ever want to you feel like you’re going through this alone. You’re my team now.”
She reaches up, kisses me again. My hand tightens on her stomach and I wonder how a man could possibly be so goddamn lucky.
“I promise, I’ll trust you enough to listen to my worries, and I’ll make it a point to love on you all the time. I know you don’t normally like affection, but you seem to love it from me.”
“I do, you’re the only one I like to touch me.”
Her eyes mist over and she laughs. “I’m sorry, I’m not normally such a crier. It’s probably the hormones.”
“You don’t have to apologize, baby. Cry all you want.” I adjust our positions so she’s lying in the crook of one arm and the other hand rests on her stomach. I can’t seem to stop touching her there. While she regulates her breathing, I lick away her tears.
“I’ll remind you of that in a couple weeks,” she says wryly, giggling when I pull away.
I kiss her tenderly on the lips and say, “You don’t scare me, Spitfire. I’ll take everything you’ve got.”
She snuggles into me. “Of course you will. Sometimes I think you’ll reach your breaking point. That it’ll be too much and you surprise me by having this steadiness, even after all these years. I love that about you, Ben. I love that you’re my rock.”
“Good. I want you to count on me. I want you to know you can trust me. That’s what I said when I married you and I meant it. ‘Til death do us part. I’m happy to keep reminding you.”
“You make me so happy,” she says, but her voice has the soft edge of sleep.
My eyes begin to drift closed. I’ve got a new baby on the way, and two beautiful kids who mean more to me than anything in the world. Nothing could be better, make me more happy than I am right now.
At the heart of it all, she’s mine.
She’ll always be mine.
And that’s all I’ll ever need.