Page 20 of Vain (Tempest #2)

Chapter Twenty

MATILDA

My usual pilot was sick, so I opted for a commercial flight home.

Most of the people in first class ignored me but I couldn’t relax completely, knowing eyes were on me.

It made the flight home feel longer somehow.

Most people would be glad they were flying home, and yet the closer we got to landing, the more nervous I became.

What does it say that I’m more comfortable in my own skin being a nobody in a small town than here, where I can just be myself?

But then again, that’s not true, is it? Once you reach my level of fame, being true to yourself isn’t enough.

You have to be what the people want you to be: the fans, the critics, the studios, the media.

Everyone wants their pound of flesh, flesh that must be perfect every day.

Celebrities don’t get to have flaws or faults.

And if they do, you can guarantee that shit is shared the world over so that people can pick apart their lives like vultures in a circus.

I sigh and Aiden’s hand tightens around mine. “You okay?”

“Would you think I was weird if I said I was sad to be coming home? That’s not normal, is it?”

“Your life is anything but normal. Cut yourself some slack.”

I lean my head against his shoulder. “I know I signed up for this life, and I’m not ungrateful for the amazing opportunities it has presented me.

But sometimes I wish, once the cameras stopped rolling, I could go back to being just me.

Only it’s not possible. The show never really stops, and there is always a camera somewhere to capture the best and worst moments of your life. ”

“Is that why you decided you want to be behind the camera for a change?”

“Partly. But I always loved the mechanics of making a movie a little more than actually starring in one.”

“You know you no longer have to act if your heart isn’t in it. You don’t owe anyone anything.”

“I know, even if my mother would disagree with you. I guess I feel this twisted sort of obligation toward her, which is stupid, I know.”

“She’s your mom.”

“Something she forgets at her convenience and wheels out when it benefits her.”

He slides his hand into my hair and tugs until I tip my head back and look at him.

“I’m not going to put any pressure on you one way or another.

I want you. I think I’ve made that clear from the start.

But part of that means I want you to be happy, not living in the shadows trying to live up to someone else’s expectations.

I’m not talking about the time you took to rehab and heal.

I’m talking about where you go from here. ”

“I don’t know,” I answer him honestly. “When I’m beside you, I feel invincible.

But when you’re gone, that familiar fear creeps in.

Every face I look at, I question if it’s the person stalking me.

And if they’re not, do they have the potential to do it?

Am I looking at them too long or smiling too widely?

Is that leading them on? But if I’m standoffish, might they get mad and hold a grudge against me?

It’s relentless. And when my thoughts spiral, I become my own worst enemy. ”

“You went through something horrific, Tilly. I’d be more concerned if you weren’t a little traumatized by the whole thing, to be honest. What you see as a weakness, to me, just makes you human.”

I lean forward and kiss him, pushing every ounce of gratitude I feel into it. “Thank you. And I promise to think about what you said. I have a lot going on up here, and I don’t want to rush into any decisions or hurt people down the line.”

“You’ll get no pressure from me, baby. I’m not going anywhere.”

I tuck my head under his chin and soak him in, enjoying the peace before the chaos descends once more.

I must drift off to sleep because the next thing I know, Aiden is nudging me awake.

I discreetly lift my hand and wipe my mouth, hoping I didn’t drool all over him.

When he smirks at me, I figure he knows exactly what I’m doing, but he doesn’t call me on it.

“Time to go,” he whispers, which is when I realize we’ve already landed. “When you’re out, you’re really out.” He chuckles.

“I did warn you.”

“That you did. That you did.”

By the time we make it through the terminal with our bags, my nerves about being home are settling.

I realize I can only bury my head in the sand for so long.

He’s right that I needed time to heal. I don’t regret the time I took to lick my wounds, but enough is enough.

I’m not gonna let this asshole keep shrinking my world until I’m trapped in a cage of my own making.

Of course, that confidence takes a direct hit when we walk through the doors to a wall of press screaming my name and shoving cameras and microphones in my face. I turn my head, grateful for the hat and glasses, as lights flash and pop all around us.

Luckily, Aiden made sure to have a car waiting for us. Once he forcefully clears a path for us, he shoves me into the back of the car and climbs in next to me without anything happening, other than my heart threatening to explode out of my chest.

“Drive,” he orders the driver as he clips my seatbelt. The car rocks slightly as people push up against it. “Jesus fucking Christ, is it always like this?”

“Only when they have something juicy to print. Someone must have tipped them off that I was here.”

“Can’t be Cora, she didn’t know who you were.”

That was the whole point of me not making a complaint, even though it galled me to keep my mouth shut. In the long run, I was more concerned about the media turning up and trying to get to Zoe.

“Nobody knew when we were flying in except for your friends, and I can’t see any of them calling the media. Must be someone from the plane.”

He shakes his head before reaching for his phone and tapping out a message.

“I’m sorry.”

He looks up at me and frowns. “What the heck are you sorry for?”

“This is a lot. With everything that’s happened with Kellen, this is the last thing you need.”

“This is the job I signed up for.”

I flinch before schooling my reaction, but not before he catches it.

He reaches over and slides his hand into my hair, holding me in place, so I can’t turn away. “I came here for a job and I intend to do that to the best of my ability. But you are so much more than a job for me, Matilda Carson. Never doubt that.”

“Okay,” I murmur, my eyes boring into his, looking for any signs of deception and finding none.

“Good girl.”