Page 103 of Used

“Trick, no.”

“Lie back and stay still.” With my other hand, I pinch her nipple.

Her breath catches.

My fingertip presses until she stretches around it. “See how easy it is?” My voice is husky in her ear. “Or do you already know?”

Her breathing’s ragged, and her leg muscles tense.

“Answer my question. Have you had things inside you here?” My finger pushes deeper into her ass.

She shakes her head.

“Nothing?”

“I… always say no.”

A second fingertip rubs the ring where the first is penetrating her.

Her fingernails dig into my arm. She’s too skittish to enjoy what I’m doing. Needs to be more aroused first.

“Trick, please—”

A few beats pass while my fingers play, then I pull them away. She collapses back against me.

“You’re not allowed to say no, but if after a few times you don’t enjoy it, I’ll only do it as punishment.”

With a soft, shocked gasp, she pulls away and sits on the opposite bench, her face a flaming pink. Popping the drain up with my foot, I sit forward. “Let’s take a shower to get all this salt off.” I climb out of the tub and step into the shower.

I wash and rinse my body, but she doesn’t join me. Little battles everywhere. I don’t care. She’s still here. And since she’s been in the house, I haven’t been tempted to use drugs once, despite the soreness in my arm. The pain hurts less and the hollow places inside me go away when she’s near me. If I’d wondered before whether I had a right to hold onto her, I don’t anymore. She’s mine, and I’ll fight as long and hard as it takes to keep it that way.

When I emerge from the shower, she’s rinsing soap off under the tub’s gushing tap. I dry myself and wrap a towel around me. “Tell me what scares you about that kind of sex.”

“All of it.”

Exhaling an amused sigh, I hand her a towel. “You can ask me anything, you know.”

She shakes her head sharply, drying off her arms and legs, then the rest of her. “Unless.” She looks over at me. “Have you ever been the one—?”

“On the bottom?”

She wraps the towel around herself. “Yes.”

“No, but there was a girl who convinced me to let her put a finger in to give me a prostate massage while she blew me. Looking back, I don’t think her finger was long enough. Her hands were pretty small.”

“If you haven’t let anyone have sex with you that way, you must not have liked the finger inside?”

“It didn’t do anything for me, so I never went farther. But that doesn’t mean you won’t like it. You’ve liked everything else I’ve done to you.”

She holds out a hand to stop me from saying more. “I don’t want a man’s opinion about it. Men have a conflict of interest.”

Chuckling, I walk out into the bedroom and grab our clothes to toss in the laundry room. When I hear her behind me, I say, “You have all those married friends. Talk to some women that like it. They can give you advice about how to get ready and what to do during to make it a good experience.”

“I don’t talk to them about their sex lives.”

“Hmm.” I don’t say what I’m thinking, which is what good are they then? Instead, I say, “Well, talk to Zoe or Rachel. C was Zoe’s first for anal. And ‘Vil was Rachel’s first for everything.”

Her head turns, and she stares at me. “Why do you know that? Boundaries—please get some.”