Page 52 of Uprooted

Elowen

The sound of a distant siren rouses me from sleep. I pull my pillow over my head to block out the sound. I feel Aro slip from the bed. Before I can register what’s happening he’s up and getting dressed.

“What’s going on?” I ask drowsily, rubbing my eyes to wake up.

“Attack.” He pulls on his pants then grabs for the nearest shirt.

I hurry to get dressed, putting on whatever is within arm’s reach. Even though I technically have my own bunk, I’ve spent every night with Aro in his room. As captain, his quarters are an upgrade from my assigned sleeping space.

I follow him out of the room with my boots still untied and we step into pandemonium. Tilak soldiers are running in every direction. Getting dressed and arming themselves at the weapon caches throughout the base. I spot Bri standing in the center of the mayhem, not sure what to do with herself.

Aro goes straight to the command center to find out what is going on.

He holds the door for me, and I slip in behind him into the dark room.

A map is lit up at the front of the room.

A bright orange spot on a neighboring continent identifies the location of the attack.

A narrow stretch of water separates the two land masses.

“Atorum have attacked Tauros. The city is under siege. We’ve activated our forces to draw the fight away from the civilians,” Rialto says once everyone is present.

“Departure time, 0630,” Petrok announces. The map disappears and the room lights up. Everyone moves at once, going in every direction to prepare to leave .

“You’ll be okay here,” he says.

“No heroics. Just come back safe.” It’s as close as I can get to an order with him.

“I’ll be back before you know it.”

He leads me outside and turns sharply, pulling me into the dark alley between buildings. I’m against the wall as he steps up to me. He brackets my head with his forearm and leans in.

“I tried to tell you before—and now is the absolute worst time, but I can’t leave without telling you—I love you.

I felt this pull to you from the start, but the more I got to know you, how smart and funny and caring you are—how passionate you are about your work—that’s when I knew that I loved you,” he says looking down at me, watching my response.

He pulls away slowly and puts a finger on my lips.

“Don’t say anything. Whatever it is you want to say, tell me when I get back.

” He kisses my slack lips of surprise and steps away, leaving me against the wall, heart pounding and trying to catch my breath.

I touch my fingers to my lips where he just imprinted himself on me.

My heart bangs away and my stomach is tied in knots.

This is what love feels like.

I peel myself off the wall and step back into the light.

In those few moments the base emptied out.

It’s eerily quiet where a few moments ago it had been roaring with noise and activity.

I stumble along on autopilot. So many thoughts run through my mind, making it impossible to focus and think things through.

I find Bri sitting on her bunk in the dormitory. We sit cross-legged and face each other, neither one of us saying a word. Our minds are catching up with the frantic morning.

“Aro told me he loves me.” I break the silence. I have no idea how she’s going to respond, she might be the most unpredictable person I know.

Bri quirks an eyebrow and I brace for the myriad of reactions that could come.

She reaches over and grabs my hand. “I’m really happy for you. And it’s about freaking time!” she says and smiles.

“Am I the last to know?” I laugh a little, relieved.

“It’s not like he’s been trying to hide his feelings,” she says .

“I don’t know what it means for us long term. I don’t think I can stay. I need to see this research all the way through. I can’t just quit because I fell in love.”

“You love him?” she leans forward, urging me to say more.

“I do. I’m not sure if that’s enough though.

I don’t know how to make everyone happy.

” I’ve always been fine with sacrificing my own happiness, but things are more complicated now.

If I stay, I’m not finishing the program I committed to.

If I leave, I am leaving Aro behind. His happiness is at stake as well.

“You don’t have to have all the answers,” she says.

“I know. If I could have some answers, that would be enough.”

“Love is awful. In all the stories love is happy. In reality, it’s horrid.

You feel sick to your stomach. You worry about everything.

I don’t know if everyone gets what they want in this situation.

Maybe at some point you’ll have to make a hard choice.

But make sure you choose the one thing that you can’t live without. ”

“Inspiring. You should write this down.” I'm only partially joking. Bri is straightforward. Her words aren’t soft, but they are honest.

“I’m not trying to make you feel better. I’m saying that you’re normal. That these feelings are common. And other people manage to get through it and have a happy ending. You deserve that too.”

“Maybe someday I can come back, after the research is done.”

“You know it’s not a failure if someone else on Earth finishes this. It doesn’t diminish anything you did to get to this point.” She sits back and watches the words land.

I take a deep breath in and think about it. I’ve been holding onto this narrow definition of success. I’ve used it as armor. Initially it kept me safe. Now it’s keeping someone I love at arm’s length.