Page 30 of Up in a Blaze (Polished P & P #4)
She smiled softly. “How about I help you pack, and you come and find out yourself?”
Glancing at Ivan, I caught his smile and nod before I looked back to Tanika. Straightening my shoulders, I nodded. “Okay.”
Standing, I shifted around the table and went to move past Ivan, until he clasped me on the shoulder.
“Welcome to our world, Micah. I’ll leave you in Tanika’s hands, but if there’s anything you need or have questions for me, please call.
You have my number. I promise to keep an eye on things here while you board at school until you find your feet.
If you want to stay longer in the dorms there, I’ll still watch over your place. No matter how long.”
A sudden urge to hug him overcame me. He’d been in my life for two years.
The thought of not seeing him and Flora for a while saddened me.
Even though I’d been quiet and kept to myself around them, they’d been a part of my life when I was starting to stand on my own and helped support me without even realizing it.
Quickly, I wrapped my arms around Ivan and hugged him tightly before I stepped back. I made sure my hair covered my eyes as my face lit with affection.
“Thank you… for everything.”
His hand landed on my shoulder. “Aw, kid, it’s been a pleasure. Even if you don’t want to come back to this area, make sure to pop in and see us.”
“I will.” I nodded.
“Good.” His hand dropped away, and he went to the door as he called to Tanika, who was already in my room. “Tanika, see you at next shift.”
“You got it.”
When Ivan had gone, I went into my room and saw that Tanika had already found my big duffel bag and was loading it with my underwear. My face heated.
Quickly, I went over there and grabbed some boxers from her hand. “I’ll do those.”
She snorted. “I’m not the type to swoon over someone by touching their underwear.”
Licking my dry lips, I didn’t comment because I was uncomfortable with the conversation. I willed my face to stop burning since it easily showed my inexperience around women and my underwear.
“Micah.” Tanika’s tone was light.
“Hmm?” I kept packing, turning my back on her to grab my winter clothes. I didn’t have many things and knew there would be room left in the duffle bag.
“Have you ever been with anyone?”
“Tanika,” I rushed to say, a harshness to the word.
“It’s okay. That’s answer enough. Do you like guys or girls?”
An embarrassed, slightly panicked noise dropped from my lips.
“We’re friends, right?” She must have caught my nod. “I’m gay. I like women.”
Why did we have to speak about this?
When I didn’t say anything and continued packing while she now sat on my bed, she said, “Earlier, Ivan mentioned Flora being his bonded.” I nodded and flicked my hair out of my eyes, pausing packing.
“Well, bonded sort of means that there’s someone, or a few someones, out there in the world who…
. Shit, how do I explain this? I mean, it might happen with humans, but the divorce rate is too high for it to show they’ve found their bonded. ”
Taking a step back, I bumped into the wall. “Are you saying having a bonded is like marriage for us?”
Her brows pinched. “Sort of. But more intense. Look, I’m not saying you’ll meet your bonded, who, in human terms, is your soul mate, but there is a chance it could happen, and I needed to warn you.”
“How do you know?”
“That’s the tricky part. My parents are bonded; you should see how sickly cute they are together.
The love you have for your bonded can’t be ruined or broken because they were made for you, made to complete you…
. I’m getting off-topic. From what Mom said, you don’t really know you’re bonded until you have sex, actual penetration.
” Fiery heat burned my cheeks. “That’s when the bond forms. I mean, she said she was deeply attracted to Dad, but she also thought Mel Gibson was good-looking. ”
It was simple then. I wouldn’t have sex with anyone. I didn’t want to risk finding a bonded after a sexual encounter and have them disappointed in who they got stuck with for the rest of their life. Knowing my luck, it could happen. Even my own mother didn’t want me.
Though? “Can a human be a bonded partner for someone like us?”
She shook her head. “No.”
At least, if I did find my libido, all I would have to do was sleep with a human to make sure I didn’t accidentally marry someone.
“Thanks for telling me.” And since I was about to embark on this next step, something that still twisted my insides and caused my hands to shake, I could open up a little to show I did trust her. “To answer your question, I think I’m asexual.”
“If you are, that’s cool, but that might change at Tovenaar.”
I wanted to take this conversation and throw it out the window. My heart hadn’t stopped racing since I’d arrived home, and there was a chance I’d pass out soon if I didn’t shut her up about this, at least.
“Can we, um, move on?”
Tanika winked. “Got it. You’re shy. It’s cute.” My face burst with heat. Tanika grinned. “Though, I’m kinda bummed you didn’t find me attractive at least.”
Groaning, I threw a T-shirt at her. “Shut up.”
“Okay, okay.” She laughed. “Let’s finish this and get you to school. It’s already late, but don’t worry your pretty little head. The dean is used to people showing up at all hours.”
Nodding, I grabbed the last few items I needed and packed them.
As I looked around, sorrow stabbed at my chest. I wouldn’t be seeing this place for a while. I wouldn’t be working for Ivan either. Not now, at least.
“Ready?” Tanika called from the front door.
Grabbing my duffle bag, I flung it over my shoulder and steadied my feet when the weight of the bag nearly took me to the ground.
Was I ready? No. Definitely not.
Even though all I wanted to do was hide under my bed for the rest of my life, I pushed my feet forward. I did it for my inquisitive mind, for Tanika and Ivan.