Page 21 of Up from the Earth (Equinox Seasons Duet #1)

Twenty

Battle Demands Every Ounce Of Focus. Eliminate Distractions No Matter How Difficult.

R ising after everything that had happened had been difficult. While I had woken, my mind aware of the world around me, I refused to open my eyes, to take in the world around me. I wanted to stay locked in the warmth and comfort that I’d enjoyed, turning away from the hurt and horror I knew lay ahead.

But I didn’t have that option, now did I? There was too much to do, too much at stake, to pretend. Fantasy was a lovely place, but it was one that humans could only visit for a time. And while I was no longer entirely among them, I still understood those rules. And it appeared that it applied to otherworldly beings as well.

I remained in the pool this time, not finding myself in some other room of the endless castle. Perhaps it was because the blood was helping to heal the injuries I’d sustained over the many journeys I’d been on. But more likely, it was because the woman entwined with me was still very much asleep.

Leaning up onto my elbows, I peered down at her, watching the way she slept in this form. Effortlessly graceful applied to any of The Beast King’s forms, but it was unquestionable that where the wolf was enormous and primal, where The King was rigid and harsh, The Queen was soft—a type of softness that betrayed the strength of the owner.

Softness was never associated with strength the way it ought to be among mortals. But something about them all denied the ability to be both. They denied much about themselves, a fact I understood even in my youth. Pleasure, contradiction, darkness, empathy—all facets of the human condition—were too frequently discarded.

We are meant to be beings of light and dark, innocence and carnality. Denying ourselves these essential aspects of our existence creates a breeding ground for violent uprisings and strife .

Control over others was always the enemy of us all, and it was all the more clear that Father Paine sought expressly that—to control and use and defile anyone he saw fight. I could smell it on him, the joy he derived from taking what did not belong to him from anyone he deemed a worthy target.

A flash in my mind—pictures of the past on earth—whipped by too quickly to track at first. But I sank deeper into myself, into the core, and in the ground, I found an anchor for my sight. I was the earth, and year after year, congregation after congregation, the priest discarded bodies and beliefs in equal measure. Long before transformation had split his mouth split wide, he had been a monster.

“I can feel your thoughts churning. Have you seen something?” The Queen’s voice nearly surprised me, and it would have, were it not for the fact that the visions were terrifying enough to make anything else feel tame.

“I did. I…He did so much wrong in his time. I can sense why Summer sent him down there, but…I still can’t understand how he managed to accumulate such power. How did a simple corrupt soul do all this?”

The Queen slid into a seat, her movements as fluid as the pool and as serpentine as the snake who mirrored her tongue. Sucking in a breath, she dropped her eyes to the rippling liquid before meeting mine.

“Let me ask you this, little seed. And think on it.” She held my stare, her gaze penetrating. “Is there such a thing as a simple soul?”

I did think on it, allowing myself to consider the weight of any individual spirit on the scales of life. No two could be placed on either side and achieve any other outcome than equilibrium. Vileness, purity, these had grades that you might attempt to measure, but a soul was made of and possessed all the same matter and ether as any other.

“I suppose they all are. There is no such thing as an elevated soul. Any single one might hold within it the power to change everything around them. A comforting thought as well as a terrifying one.”

She nodded. “Yes. And one that no being since before the dawn of time has been able to parse out. It is as much a mystery to me as it is to you. I do not know why some souls sink so low or rise so high. They are propelled by something within them. That spark of creation that has existed since the beginning that eventually coalesced into the spirit, an extension of the earth, of the stars, that is capable of so much more than those founding elements could have ever dreamed.”

“Wait.”

I pushed up into a seat, puzzle pieces of reality falling into place.

“So the beginning of it all, before…all this.” I gestured around us. “It all began with matter and energy. That big bang of colliding elements that exploded into reality, and then what? Just gained consciousness on its own?”

“Who says it wasn’t conscious to begin with?” She smirked, cocking a brow at me. “Everything is alive, Cerridwen. All bits of the greater whole. And when things perish from the mortal realm, they come here—for a time. Energy cannot be kept, you see. Only borrowed. Everything goes back to the beginning to start again. The great cycle.”

I couldn’t stop the chuckle that erupted from me like a fountain turned on after decades of disrepair. It was all as I thought it was, how my sisters believed it was. It was all that and so much more. And it was all in danger if Father Paine was not stopped.

Shaking myself, I stood up. As I sucked in a deep breath, I squared my shoulders, considering the path forward if we were all indeed connected to that eternal cycle.

“I need to be ready. I cannot take a blow from the priest as he is now. Cerberus is still recovering, thanks to the last time, and I will not see him hurt. He must remain back, and I must be outfitted. Can you…Is it silly to ask if you can do such a thing?”

The Queen smiled, joining me in the center of the pool on her feet and taking my hands. “Who do you take me for, witch ? Of course, I can.”

“Y ou have to stay back. You are not healthy enough to fight.”

Cerberus glared at me, his human form lying in the bed as bandages encircled his ribs, more wrapped over his head. Shifting, a hiss escaped him, and both The Queen and I were at his side in a flash. He only grumbled something under his breath before eyeing me, the blue and green irises full of pain and disappointment.

“You will be in danger. I am meant to protect you.”

His hand squeezed mine, and I smoothed my fingers over his forehead where his skin was free of the covering. The room was so dark and quiet, a wolf’s den beneath a hill, and I felt that steady pulse of the earth’s core in his gut trying to mend what the priest had torn.

“My sweet boy,” I heard the choke in my voice and tried to clear it away, “seeing you like this breaks my heart. If something more were to happen to you, I would never forgive myself. There will be plenty of battles ahead. I fear…I fear that this one is meant to be mine and mine alone.”

Looking to The Queen, Cerberus attempted to sit forward before the pain stopped him. “You can’t let her go out there alone, Mother. You can’t.”

The Queen threaded her fingers through his other hand, stepping closer as she laid her opposite palm on his shoulder, gripping. “I don’t intend to. I assure you. But…”

There was a heavy pause, and Cerberus and I stared at The Queen for several long moments before his impatience won out—only slightly before mine.

“What is it?” he demanded.

“I fear your mother is right. This is a battle for her. I knew this when I sensed the threat, or I would have dealt with it myself. She is the only one who can stop Father Paine. This was a challenge designed for her.”

I slumped slightly, taking in a shallow breath as I heard my worst fears confirmed. I wasn’t skilled at this. Beneath the crowns of mother and crone—titles I’d only recently won, thanks to the journey The Beast King guided me toward—I was still a young maiden, still just Cerridwen.

“But I will not let her go out there without the backing of everything that I can muster. You can rest assured, our valiant wolf.”

Cerberus didn’t reply, his eyes falling to the hem of the blanket that covered his waist. He’d not been on this world long, and still, he’d already had to deal with and accept so much more than most people would in their entire lives. I was abundantly proud of him, but it pained me to know that I was keeping him from something that he felt he needed to be a part of.

Still, protecting him was in my blood, something I would never be able to deny.

“I love you, Cerberus.” I leaned down, taking his face and kissing his forehead. “I love you so damn much. I will protect you until my last breath and beyond. I never understood why my own mother would be so concerned for me, why her protectiveness was so fierce, unyielding. I do now. You are the best parts of me made manifest. You’re my child, and I love you in a way that is so profound that words do not do it justice.”

As I met his eyes, they were glassy with unshed tears, and I let mine flow freely. That green and blue stare reflected my own. A piece of my soul lived in him, and regardless of time or space, he would always be my little boy.

“I love you, too.” Cerberus’s voice was rough, thick with the things left unsaid. “Please, just promise me that you’ll call for me if needed.”

Smiling, I nodded at him. “I will.”

A gentle lie, one he would never learn of. Still, I considered his future, where his golden thread of destiny was leading him.

“You’ll have your own part to play. I’m sure of it. You will have your own journey, and I will watch you with pride, as will our Beast King.”

Looking to her, I held her hand, the two of us draped over Cerberus like a blanket—like a shield.

“I will be so proud, fierce boy. Your path is far from at its end. You have forests to run and ecstasies and pains all your own to find.”

We circled in toward each other, holding onto the liferaft of our combined presence before we all knew it was time to depart.

“Get me ready, love.” I looked up into the gleaming eyes of The Queen, my chest pinching for the way my entire being called out for her. “I will go out to meet him.”

S hining armor sat draped over my body. It was heavy and cold, the bright silver reflecting all the light in the empty chamber. Thick pauldrons perched on either shoulder, and a segmented breastplate smoothed down the front of my white dress. The fabric floated down gracefully beneath the hard metal, covering the hardy leather leggings I wore beneath it.

I looked around, my gaze settling on each of the familiar sights in The Queen’s throne room. I’d asked her for a moment alone in the space, gathering whatever strength I could muster before she would deliver me to the battlefield.

A breath whistled out of me—long and drawn out until my lungs were utterly spent. “To whatever end, Cerridwen. To whatever end.”

The flicker of hope in my chest was a dim, pallid glow that barely registered amongst the raging sea of dread that drowned me. But I had no choice. I needed to go.

Footsteps sounded behind me, and I didn’t turn to see who approached. I knew it was my Queen. The delicate detailing that covered my armor hummed with her presence, the flowers and vines covering it endlessly coiling and twisting.

“It’s time.”

Her voice was quiet. I nodded.

“I can see myself standing atop a mountain of cracked skulls, the warmth of light vacant from all things. I can see all darkness, the sun’s face banished from every plane of existence.”

She stepped in front of me, taking my face in her hands. “I can see my wife. Standing as resolute as ever in the face of incredible odds. I see a Queen in her own right. One of balance and nature. I see…”

Slowly, The Queen placed a reverent kiss on my lips. “ You .”

I sucked in a breath, smelling her and our home. “I love you, dearest darkness. I love you endlessly.”

“And I love you—my bloom of spring pushing up through the snow.”

And with that, she pulled us through the folds of space and time, bringing us face to face with Father Paine.