Page 39 of Until You Came Along

I don’t know how long it was until his breathing had steadied and he was sleeping peacefully. When I stopped caressing him, he let out a grunt, but continued sleeping. I got up very slowly and stood looking at him; he was worthy ofadmiration. It was the first time I had seen him asleep and, in this state, he didn’t look like the authoritarian and controlling man that he showed to others. The seriousness that always marked his features had disappeared and he looked younger and more carefree. I shook my head to break out of my hypnotic state, covered him with the blanket, and got dressed. A few minutes later I was in my car heading to my apartment, asking myself a ton of questions for which I still had no answers.

When I arrived, I took a long shower and went to bed. I was tired, but my mind was racing because I couldn’t stop thinking about what I had experienced hours before. Lately, insomnia had been my faithful companion, but in this case, it was welcome because I had to make a decision, even if it wasn’t easy. On one hand, I liked Hermes a lot and I loved being with him, except when his grumpy side emerged, but I also knew that with him everything would be complicated. Starting with the fact that he was only offering me to be lovers, which left out any type of future relationship, the list of drawbacks also included the fact that I liked him more than I wanted to admit. Deep in my heart, I knew that Hermes was making me feel something I had never felt before and that, with him, my heart had awakened from a lethargy and was beating like never before. This last part was too dangerous; if I fell in love with this difficult man, a long road of suffering awaited me, because it would mean giving myself knowing there was an expiration date. I sat up in bed and held my head. It was better to put up a barrier between us and forget about his proposal. If I wanted to protect my heart, Hermes Darwich was not an option; he would end up being the executioner who would destroy it. I couldn’t do something that I knew would harm me, and I shouldn’t cling to something that couldn’t be. Hermes wasn’t for me.

My decision was made.

But I felt defeated.

???

I was awakened by the sound of my cell phone. I opened my eyes, but I didn't know if I was dreaming or in the real world. I looked at the clock on the nightstand that showed it was five minutes to seven in the morning.

Who calls on a Sunday at seven?I wondered, annoyed.

I checked and seeing it was Serafina, I immediately answered.

“How did it go?” she asked, without greeting.

“Seri, it’s seven. Don’t you sleep?”

“Are you with him?” she asked, ignoring everything I said.

“I’m alone in my apartment, but I was with him… at his house,” I confessed, even though it meant fully waking up because my friend would start her interrogation.

“You were? Does that mean you slept with him?” she asked, raising her voice so much that I had to move the phone away from my ear.

“I slept with Hermes.”

“And how was it? I suppose he must be hot as hell, how many times…”

“Serafina, let’s talk about this in person. How about I come over to your place in a bit?”

“I can’t believe you’re going to leave me in suspense! How long will you take?”

“Just a little while. Besides, I’ll tell you now that I’ve decided I’m not going to continue with this.”

“My God! You can’t do this to me!”

“Let me rest a bit more and then I’ll head over and spend the whole day with you.”

“Alright, I’ll wait for you.”

“Oh! I’m sorry, maybe you have plans. If so, I can come another time.”

“Don’t even think about it! If you don’t come, I’ll come get you,” she exclaimed.

“How did it go yesterday with Nicolás?” I asked.

“Nothing worth mentioning, I’ll tell you later.”

“Ok, see you in a bit.”

“See you.”

I put my head back on the pillow, but sleep wouldn’t come. I lay there staring at the ceiling while replaying everything I had discussed with him. After torturing myself for a while, I decided to get up and get ready to go to my friend’s place.

I put on white shorts and a light blue tank top with small white flowers. I had breakfast and at nine I left for Serafina’s.

Seri lived about fifteen minutes from my house and, on a Sunday at that hour the road was quite deserted, so I got there in less time. As soon as she opened the door, she dragged me inside.