Page 21 of Until the Heart Stops (The Oylen City #1)

W hen I’d been made, blood mates had not been rare.

In fact, they had been a regular occurrence and one of the most common reasons why new vampires were made.

Even still, it had been seen as a blessing to find your blood mate.

But with the rise of Mael’s rule and the strict boundaries put in place between humans, Vyenurs, and Lycans, blood mates became more and more rare.

They still happened, but most often either the mate of the vampire was turned by another in punishment or permission to turn their mate was used by my maker and the Covenant as a means of control.

It was the reason I’d tried to stay away, why I’d contented myself to watch her from afar.

But I should have known it would never truly satisfy me.

Lilith’s heartbeat was a siren song, her scent a drug, her blood an elixir, and her cunt?

Even just the taste of her was a dream I never wished to wake from.

And that was to say nothing of her mind, her loyalty, her compassion .

Lilith stared at me so long I became worried perhaps she didn’t know the meaning of the word.

“A blood mate?—”

She raised a hand. “I know what it is.”

Slowly, her hand lowered, falling to her lap between us along with her gaze.

I allowed her this silence, instead returning to cataloging each perfect feature: the constellation of freckles across her cheeks, her pert nose, the soft bow of her lips.

The rose tint of her nipples beneath the thin fabric of her nightgown.

Her heartbeat and its rhythm I could pick out from miles away.

“How long?”

I blinked, refocusing. “Hm?”

Lilith raised her gaze to meet mine. “How long have you known?”

I brushed my knuckles against her cheek, taking whatever I could get before her ire came. “Since a few days after your mother’s pyre.”

Her eyes widened in surprise, but she didn’t pull away, even when her pulse quickened. As much as a human could, she stilled, save for her eyes flicking back and forth as if she was reading from a book. “All this time you stayed away…”

“Yes, I did. I hoped I could satisfy myself with merely watching from afar, knowing it would be what kept you safest. But at my very core I am a selfish creature and your light was too addictive. I found myself caught within your warmth and had no chance at keeping my distance.”

The truth was I couldn’t blame Henry. If not for him I still would have found a way to introduce myself, though it might have taken longer. Perhaps I could have waited until this was all over and the danger had passed.

A muscle in her neck jumped and her sadness crept through the bond like mist. It took me a moment to realize that she was sad for me . She now understood the longing I had for her and rightly deduced how painful it had been to stay away.

“Does anyone know?” she breathed.

“Only Eamon, and I trust him implicitly.”

She nodded absently. Lilith had known Eamon since birth—if there was anyone she trusted outside of Adrienne and Noah, it was him.

“So what do we do?” Her voice was careful.

I tried to stop the despair threatening to slip through our connection, because the next words were already burning in my throat, ripping my insides into shreds. “We must stay apart.”

She jerked back as if I’d struck her. “Callum, no.”

But I didn’t allow her to slip from my lap. Instead, I cupped her face in my hands, the heat of her skin scorching against my palms. “Listen to me. It’s the only way to ensure your safety. Even now I should not be here, even now he could know where I’ve gone.”

Tears sprang in her eyes and her hands wrapped around my wrists as they had the night on the ramparts. “But he is immortal, Callum. He will never be gone.”

The rest of the words hung between us. For how long?

She knew that because of our bond, if another turned her it would drive me mad.

And if I was to turn her, I would not be able to leave her for the first decade of her life.

The bond was too strong even between maker and fledgling, let alone for blood mates.

And so I chose my words with care, infusing all the conviction I could into the bond. We would be apart, but it would not be forever. She would be in danger, but that danger would pass.

“No one is truly immortal. Even a god can be felled.”

…

Dawn had almost broken over the horizon by the time I made it back to Mael’s palace.

The taste of Lilith’s tears was heavy on my tongue.

I’d stayed with her until she fell into a fitful slumber, her hands wrapped tight around my tunic.

When she refused to let go, even in sleep, I’d pried her fingers from the fabric one by one.

I’d left her with a letter on her bedside table before inhaling her scent deeply and vanishing into the sky.

I was sluggish when I slipped through my open window, limbs so heavy with the approaching morning I could barely stumble to the lightless room tucked into the back of the bedchamber. Paralytic sleep took my body before the coffin lid closed.

Though my daytime rest was usually free of dreams, this morning I found myself standing in blackness, blinking rapidly to clear my vision.

Slowly, one by one, stars popped into existence around me, twinkling and dying out only to flare brighter again.

Beneath my feet, a great field of wild flowers blew in the nighttime breeze, dots of whites and lavender and blues washed out from the light of the moon.

There, in the center, sat a woman, face gleaming in silver, staring up at me as I gazed down on her.

Lilith’s hair was wild and free, swirling around her face and catching in the tears tracking down her cheeks.

Her pain was tangible, as if it were a living, breathing thing between us.

I wished I could reach her from this high perch and gather her in my arms, holding together all the broken pieces of ourselves we could never truly heal. But she was too far out of reach.

Slowly, she rose to her feet, her diaphanous gown shimmering behind her. Her arms lifted and, though I could not hear her voice, I knew she was crying out for me. Magic pulsed around her, lightning crackled down her arms, sparkling in her hand and leaving behind a shining dagger .

She lifted the blade higher, her eyes locked on mine, and plunged the dagger into her heart.

My scream was lost in the vast oblivion of nothingness.

I could only stare on as blood pooled in the front of her chest, dripping down her breasts and landing on the flowers beneath her until the field was nothing but red.

Her arms dropped along with her body and her final breath was a sigh of relief.

I cried until I was blind to this world of cruelty. I cried until rivers rose and lakes met the sea. And when I had no more tears left to shed, I opened my eyes to the world only to know that now, I was very much alone.

She was so far from me I would never reach her again.