Page 6

She laughed. “It’s a long story. Rick is crazy ecstatic, and the kids are ready for a new baby to join the ranks. Obviously, the doctor reminded me I’m of an advanced maternal age, so there are more risks involved.”

I rolled my eyes. “Ugh. Might as well continue to call them geriatric pregnancies.” Why was it the older we got, the more doctors threw around words like geriatric to describe our ages? It wasn’t like we’d been in our fifties or even sixties.

“Right? I told Rick the same thing,” she laughed. I envied her. Lily-Mae had everything she could ever want in her life and marriage. She taught world history at the local high school while Rick played professional football for the Tennessee Raptors .

I wanted the same thing.

I wanted my Boom .

Wanted —but could never have —Pope Ellis.

“I’m so happy for you, Lily-Mae,” I murmured. “That little bundle is going to be loved and fiercely protected by their big sister and brothers.”

“Secretly, I’m hoping for another girl,” she said. “The stinky boys outnumber Madison and me.”

I guffawed. “Don’t let Rick hear you say that. I bet he’d want a football team worth of boys if he could have it.”

She hummed a soft, loving sound. The one I’d heard all those years ago when she’d been achingly awkward and so shy. I thought she’d let Rick slip right through her fingers before she made a move. “Sometimes I wish I did too. But I love my girl and the boys so much. I don’t care either way.”

“You’re one of the lucky ones,” I said, scrolling through the channels before finding another game.

“I want you to be a lucky one, too,” she said, determination threading her words. “You deserve your happily ever after.”

The Mayson’s called them Booms . I met mine the day Pope said hi to me in the third grade.

I hadn’t realized it then. Slowly, as the years rolled by, that gut clenching, deep yearning consumed my every thought.

But Pope wasn’t gay. I was. So, I pushed the notion aside, burying my feelings so I could stay by my friend’s side for as long as I could.

That lasted until high school. The night I kissed him in my basement solidified the fact he’d never be mine.

“Sometimes it’s not in the cards for everyone,” I stated. “I’ve made my peace with the idea that I might never find the one.”

She snorted. “Don’t even start with the woe is me, bullshit, Thierry Thomas! I know you better than you do. You need to go get your man and stop moping.”

I shook my head, taking the scolding like a recalcitrant child. “What if I want to stay in my feelings for a while longer?”

“Then I guess Madison and I will have to have a girls’ day without Uncle Thierry.”

Ohhh... That was totally uncalled for. “You wound me. I’m going to tell Rick.”

She laughed, the bright, cheerful sound brought a smile to my face and took me out of my dark mood. “He’ll side with me. I’m his favorite.”

Again, she had a point. “Touché. You win. But I won’t guarantee anything.”

“Don’t need a guarantee, Thierry. I just want to see you happy. Also, for what it’s worth, Derrick’s a piece of shit. He lost the best thing he ever had when he cheated on you.”

“So, are you going to be at Wes’ party next Friday?

” I had to change the subject. If we continued to talk about my wants or desires or my ex, I’d end up in a spot I didn’t like being in.

I spent too much time in that dark depression, going through the motions of my life. I didn’t want to be there again.

“That’s the plan,” she said. “My little sister is going to watch the kids for us along with her new boyfriend. It’ll be nice to have one more fun night before all the havoc starts again. Since you’re asking, are you coming?”

“Yep,” I sighed. “Told Wes I’d be there too.”

“Then you can ride with us. Where are you staying while you’re here?”

I’d thought of just taking up my old room, but then I thought twice about it.

My parents didn’t need me under foot all day or all night, depending on my schedule.

Sure as shit, didn’t need to be up at the butt-crack of dawn, causing a ruckus, because I had to hit the gym either.

“I’m thinking of getting an apartment while I’m with the Mountaineers .

Something I don’t have to worry about leasing forever. Or at least until the dust settles.”

“I know a person,” Lily-Mae said. “I’ll have her call you in the morning with some places to check out.”

“Sounds great,” I replied. “Thanks, for, you know.”

“My pleasure,” she answered. “It’s really great you’re home, Thierry. We’ve all missed you.”

Hated to admit, I missed them too. “Likewise. Tell Rick I said, congrats.”

“I will. Talk soon. Say hi to your mom and dad for me.”

The rest of the evening was filled with good food and good conversation.

I’d contemplated leaving and grabbing a hotel room for the night or at least a week, but my room was just down the hall, and I’d been exhausted.

I said my goodnights to my parents and headed to my room.

My knee ached something awful and I wondered again for the hundredth time if I was doing the right thing.

If my desire to win outweighed the use of my leg.

If pushing myself, even as a coach, wasn’t a bridge too far.

I had a degree I could fall back on and a network of people who’d help manage my new life after hockey.

Yet, half those same people were “yes” people.

They’d bent over backward to make sure I was happy.

Not tell me the truth or put me on a different path.

Plus, I had coaching too. I couldn’t give up before I tried.

As I lay in my old, sagging twin bed, knowing full well I’d wake up with such a crick in my back and neck, I allowed the doubt to creep in for a moment.

I figured if I got all the ill-feelings out of the way, in the morning, I’d have a better grasp of what I wanted or at least what I was going to do.

If only I could have turned to my best friend in this situation. I was sure Pope would know what to do. Unfortunately for me, he was no longer my voice of reason. Whatever I decided to do from that moment on was on me and that thought scared me more than anything.

Because one false move, and my whole world would come crumbling down around me.

For good this time.