Page 54 of Unsupervised
A few moments of silence after my rant are broken by Zara. “Kel, the way you feel now is all about being an adult. We’re all just winging it.”
“Why are you going to school?” Serena asks.
“To get an education…to be…something.”
A smirk raises her lips. “Am I nothing?”
“What? No! You’re amazing.”
“I’ve never been to college. I work at a job that’s considered unskilled, though I can tell you right now half the assholes who think that couldn’t waitress to save their lives. I live in the same apartment you do, pay the same bills. What’s the difference?”
After floundering for a moment, I blurt. “You can cook and you aren’t a pathetic virgin who can’t seem to give it away.”
Serena bites back a smile. “First, cooking is a skill you’ll learn. Second, I know about ten guys who would have no problem divesting you of that troublesome hymen if that’s what you actually want. Neither of those is what this is about. You’re heartbroken—another brutal milestone of adulthood—and it’s making everything else seem bigger. You need perspective. Now stop feeling sorry for yourself and listen.”
I’ve never heard Serena sound so serious, and she has my attention along with Zara’s and Remee’s. “I’m listening.”
“There is a difference between us. I do what I want, make my own decisions, and live with the consequences. I don’t let anyone else tell me what kind of life I should want or let societal expectations play into my choices. You wanted away from your parents and Stanley, so you could have the same thing and that’s brave as fuck, but if you can’t say why you’re doing the things you are, like going to school, then you’re either doing them to meet someone else’s expectations.” She waves her hand. “Or you’re impulsive and not thinking through your choices before you make them.”
The bed creaks as she sits back. “If you want my opinion—”
“Little late for that offer,” I snort, and she throws a pillow at me.
“If you want my opinion, if school was what you wanted, if it was sending you toward a goal you were excited about, you’d have no problem succeeding. So, stop whining, figure out what you want your life to be. Not in five years or ten years, but now. Make your own choices based on that. As long as you’re paying your own bills, it’s no one’s business what you do with your life. Work in a factory, be an artist, walk dogs, shake your titties at guys for money. There aren’t any rules as long as you’re finding your happiness.”
Her voice softens. “But give yourself a little time. Having a broken heart sucks. Don’t be so hard on yourself right now. Curl up and cry if you need to, eat all the ice cream in the house, or let’s go vandalize the asshole’s car. Whatever makes you feel better.”
She probably would too. “Thank you.” I give her a hug. “I think I’d like to eat all the ice cream and talk about how shitty men are all night.”
Remee leaps off the bed. “I’ll get the ice cream.”
“I have plenty of shitty men stories,” Zara promises.
As my friends scramble to support me, I realize I was wrong about something. I felt like Cooper’s Music was the only place I fit in, the only place I felt like me. It’s not true. Somehow along the way, this place has become my home, and these girls have become my family. I belong here too.
Chapter Fifteen
Layton
Kelly won’t return my calls or texts. It’s been two weeks. I can’t say I blame her after the way I left, but it’s killing me not to be able to talk to her, check on her. The devastated expression on her face is all I can see from the time I wake up, and it haunts my nights as well.
The entire time I was seeing her, I tried to shove down those reservations, that intruding thought that being with her was wrong. The loophole of her not technically being my student anymore was something I grasped onto, but I knew it wasn’t really the issue.
She’s younger, and we met when I was in a position of power. My biggest worry was that I was taking advantage of someone too innocent to know any better. Once she told me she had been engaged, some of that fear faded. Yes, she was young, but she’d had a life too.
Not once did I consider she could be a virgin. Lying there under me, her eyes wide and trusting, I just couldn’t do it. What if I did and things fell apart in a month? Then I’m the asshole teacher who seduced her, took advantage, and broke her heart.
It’s better this way, no matter how much I miss her.
As if the thoughts of her in my head have conjured her, I look up from the ATM where I’m parked to see her stopped at the nearby stop sign. Her red hair flashes like fire in the sun, flying back behind her as she takes off on her scooter, a black helmet splashed with yellow on her head. Her posture makes me think of all the times she told me to sit up straight at the piano.
She’s gorgeous.
The thing that takes my breath away as she passes without seeing me is the same thing that convinces me not to call out to her. She’s smiling. She’s happy.
The car behind me honks, and I realize I’m holding up the line. I wave at them, then grab my money and pull out into the road. My hope is that her life is going well, because the fact that I’ve been called in to meet with the superintendent of the college doesn’t bode well for my immediate future. Maybe I’m wrong and it has nothing to do with her, but they don’t call you in just to chat.
Along with Kelly’s absence from Adulting Club, I’ve noticed Owen hasn’t returned either. He knew we were seeing each other, and though I don’t know what she told him about how that ended, the hateful looks I get from him when we pass on campus make his feelings on the matter clear.