Page 46 of Unnatural (Men and Monsters #2)

She laughed and gave him a teasing swat. Sometimes, like now, he surprised her with his sense of humor. It was as if he wanted to laugh, he just hadn’t known how.

Before.

Before this.

Before her maybe? Although she hesitated to take credit for Sam’s personal growth. That was all his to own.

She swore she saw him stretching though, taking tentative steps outside the box he’d put himself in, testing the solidity of the new ground beneath him.

For a few minutes, they simply sat in companionable silence, enjoying the crisp air and the gauzy sunlight sparkling on the water’s surface.

It would be wonderful to go inside and stoke the fire, let it warm their chilled skin.

She’d like to spend the rest of the day there with him…

just…exploring. God, she couldn’t get enough of Sam.

But she also knew there were important answers that might be waiting.

“Sam, I have to go somewhere.”

He looked over at her, his eyes worried, body still. “Okay. Where?”

She took a deep breath and told Sam about the files she’d stolen, about the portion of her own file that listed her as a “suspected ADHM” baby.

His brows lowered. “What does that mean?”

“I don’t know. Maybe nothing. But maybe…

something.” Maybe something very big. She paused for a moment.

“I found my mother. The day of the…shooting,” she said, glancing at him and then back to the lake.

God, that day was such a blur. Meeting her mother had been…

well, eventful to say the least. Traumatic.

At any other point in her life, it would have been the most momentous thing that had happened to her.

“She, my birth mother, told me that she’d never taken the drug. She said she was about to but was…interrupted.”

“So why were you in the hospital?”

“That’s what I’m trying to figure out.” She paused for a moment, gathering her thoughts. “It’s possible my birth mother was lying or just plain forgot. It’s also possible the hospital made a mistake or an assumption. But…it’s also possible someone lied.”

Sam’s face was troubled. “Why would they do that?”

“I don’t know exactly. But when I took my file, I also took a few more that were part of the stack. I looked through those as well, and another boy’s file says the same thing as mine. Suspected ADHM.”

“So you want to see if you can find him?”

“Yes. I might not even be able to locate him. But if I do, and if he’ll see me right away, I’d only be half a day, no more.”

“Was he adopted like you?”

“His file says he left the hospital when his aunt adopted him and continued his treatment at home. At that point, his case with the foster care system was closed, so there’s no further information.” I need to compare our stories.

“He might be dead now,” Sam said, still not looking at her.

“He might be. But I have his name and his last known address, which was just outside New York City. It’s about two hours from here.

I can’t do an internet search from the cottage.

But I was going to take my car still parked at my house.

It should be safe enough. No one has my name, my description from the shooting is basic at best, and the story is dying down anyway. ”

They were both quiet for a few minutes before Sam said, “Your mother…was she a…good person?”

Autumn pondered that a moment. She thought about how Sam had told her that not only minds but souls could be ruined.

Twisted. Killed even, so that something darker rose in their place.

She still wasn’t sure that was true. She’d seen how a loving and kind mother could act toward her own child and someone else’s in Veronica Monroe and, to some extent, the nurses at Mercy, especially Salma.

Veronica had accepted Autumn into her home and heart instantly, and her love had been a much-needed balm throughout the last nine years.

But her birth mother? She hadn’t been evil to her necessarily, but she had certainly been no mother.

And she definitely wasn’t good to herself.

“Maybe she was good once, a long time ago, but not anymore, no.”

“I’m sorry,” Sam said, turning his head and looking at her. “I know you wished for her to be.”

Their gazes held, and Autumn’s heart gave a kick. Yes, he did know. No one else knew the way she’d longed for her like Sam did. The way she’d wondered and hoped. He’d read her most personal words and dreams.

Autumn was glad he had. Glad he knew. She was honored he’d treated her thoughts—her feelings put to words—with such reverence.

She tipped her chin, opening her mouth to speak, when something wet and cold hit her cheek.

She tilted her head back farther, watching as tiny white flakes drifted from above.

“It’s snowing,” she said wondrously. “Oh my goodness.” She stood, and so did he, Autumn laughing as the wind picked up, the breeze swirling with white.

Sam smiled as he watched her spin around once, raising her arms. She stopped, laughing. They wouldn’t be able to stay out here too long. It was getting colder by the moment, and she didn’t think there was any snow gear in the cottage.

Sam tipped his head, catching a few snowflakes on his tongue, laughing as one hit him in the eye.

He squinted. Time slowed. Autumn watched him as he raised his face again, crystals glittering in his golden lashes.

His tan cheeks were flushed with cold, his lips a deeper shade of pink, and the joy on his face was innocent and guileless.

Look at the light within him. Radiant. It socked her in the gut.

It felt like, for just a second, he’d opened his chest and shown her his hidden heart.

It stopped her breath, and for the barest instant, everything was right in the world. Every single thing.

There was no past to get mired in. No remembered pain or shattering injustice that might never be made right. No anger or resentment, no doubt, no fear. Nothing at all to overcome.

And loving him was as simple as drawing in air.

Just a beautiful moment, as pure and shimmery as the snowflakes that fell. The future was theirs, anything they dared to dream. Anything at all.

And even when it passed, when the moment moved on and became a different one, a part of her stayed there and remembered what perfect had felt like. And she knew that any version of heaven she experienced from that day forward wouldn’t be quite right without him.

I love you.

She didn’t say it. He wasn’t ready to hear it. But she did. Oh, she did.

He brought his face forward, his eyes sparkling, that smile still playing on his mouth. The snowflakes on his face were melting into droplets of water. He’s glorious.

His smile faded. “Are you okay?”

She realized she was standing completely still, staring at him, and she laughed, nodding, not quite able to find her voice just yet.

He watched her for a moment, questions in his eyes. “Should we…go inside?”

She nodded again, laughed again. “Yes. Let’s go inside.”

They returned to the warm cottage and took off their boots by the door.

Sam turned to her to say something when they heard the sound of a car pulling up in front of the cottage.

Autumn’s heart jumped, and she rushed across the room to the front door, Sam right behind her.

Please be Bill. But he’d just brought groceries a few days before. Who else?

She peeked out the window, breath rushing from her lips. “It’s Sheriff Monroe,” she said to Sam. “I know him. He’s a good man. He’d never hurt either of us.”

Sam was tense but didn’t attempt to stop her as she pulled the door open.

“Autumn,” the sheriff said. “What the hell is going on?”