Page 60 of Unmasking Mayhem (Behind the Mask Duet #2)
twenty-six
the beginning
Whitney
Angel: Amanda Perez
I dig my toes into the sand as the water comes crashing against the shoreline, the pitch-black sky hovering over me, glowing brightly, filled with stars.
The warm California breeze casts a shiver along my spine, while my hair blows in the increasing wind.
A storm is coming, and it's going to be a big one. I'm here for it, and so is he.
I smile, still finding it painful to use the muscles I quit using five months ago.
Suddenly, he crosses my mind, and my smile reaches further, although not quite to my eyes.
It's a start. Closing my eyes, I tilt my face toward the sky over the ocean, choppy waves echoing in my ears.
Warm droplets from the waves trickle all over my skin, followed by the cold drops of rain from above.
My sad playlist on Spotify plays from my phone, pulling me deeper into my mind as I try to fight my way just to stay above water.
Even though they're sad songs that make me cry whenever I hear them because they remind me of Hawk, they're healing in their own fucking twisted way.
The lyrics are therapeutic. The beat is calming. And the tears that I cry are freeing.
It's been five months since you went away, left without a word and nothing to say. When I was the one who gave you my heart and soul. But it wasn't good enough for you, no
So I asked God; God, send me an angel from the heavens above
Send me an angel to heal my broken heart from being in love
'Cause all I do is cry
God, send me an angel to wipe the tears from my eyes
Even the song on now— Angel by Amanda Perez —makes me cry, and there's an emptiness in my heart that aches like fucking crazy.
The irony of the lyrics, huh? It's been five months since Hawk took his own life, leaving us in the dark—without a word.
Not a day goes by that I haven't thought about him.
So far, nothing has gotten easier. I've been thrown into a black hole, and I'm finding it hard to summon the will to pull myself out.
I've thought about joining him on more than one occasion.
But if I were to go, Raze wouldn't have a chance at living a somewhat normal life.
Knowing him, he'd join us the night after I go.
The three of us were meant to be together until the end.
Of course we were. Life wouldn't have put us through hell and back if we weren't always meant to be in each other's lives.
Without Hawk, we're both lost. But we cling to each other like we're the air we need to survive.
Like right now, as I sit on the beach in the rain with my feet in the sand, I can feel him close behind me, his eyes burning a hole in my back.
He's so close I can smell his cologne, the spicy scent traveling up my nose.
He doesn't let me out of his sight, and I don't let him out of mine.
Our love for one another has turned into an obsession, and it's the furthest thing from healthy. But we need it. We need each other, and it doesn't matter how it happens.
We left Boston, knowing how much Hawk always wanted to come home to California.
We needed to escape the toxic clutches of the gritty world of Masked Mayhem; there was nothing good left about that place.
And when King later got arrested when the club got raided, D and Boston left the state to start fresh, so we had nothing keeping us there.
We wanted to honor his wishes, so his ashes remain with us here in Cali, and we're determined to force ourselves to start living again. No matter how fucking long it takes.
His breath is suddenly skating across the side of my neck, feeling like a gust of fire against my skin.
My eyes open and meet his right away, the darkness inside them even darker than usual.
His smile is dangerous, matching the look in his eyes, and yet it turns me on, heating up the space between my thighs.
Raze’s hand clasps around my throat, firm and dominating.
He brushes his lips along my jaw, sensually peppering kisses across my cheek as he makes his way to my mouth, shadows swarming protectively around us.
I reach up, grabbing the back of his neck, eagerly pulling his lips to mine in a burst of impatience.
The kiss is electric, igniting a fire within me that I thought had long since been extinguished.
For a brief moment, the world around us fades away—the sound of crashing waves, the smell of the sea, the impending storm—all of it dissolves as Raze deepens the kiss, pouring his heart into every touch.
The warmth of his body and the ferocity of his need fill the hollow that Hawk’s absence left behind, and with it comes the bittersweet mixture of pleasure and pain.
I break away, breathless, my forehead resting against his.
“Raze,” I whisper, my voice trembling with emotion, “what are we doing?”
His thumb brushes across my lower lip, his dark eyes searching mine. “We’re surviving. One way or another, we are keeping our heads above water.”
But what does that even mean? We’ve become these creatures of desperation, feeding off one another’s grief and need. All this passion, this fire between us—is it just a bandage over the gaping wound that Hawk left behind, or is it something deeper?
The rain begins to pick up, drenching us in seconds, but I don’t care.
I wrap my arms around Raze, pulling him close, feeling the heat radiating off his body against the cold downpour.
I close my eyes, surrendering to the moment.
Despite the chaos, he makes me feel alive—something I haven’t felt since I lost Hawk.
Pushing me onto my back against the wet sand, Raze climbs on top of me, brushing the wet strands of hair out of my face, his thumb gliding along my lip.
I cup his face in my hands and pull his mouth to mine for another kiss, feeling the fire between my thighs and in my belly burn hotter and hotter.
He settles between my legs, and I lock my ankles around his back, losing ourselves in a heated kiss filled with passion, grief, and an uncontrollable feeling of need.
"I need you, Raze," I whisper, my confession coming out as a desperate moan.
Our foreheads press together, the rain continuing to soak our bodies as clothing gets moved around, freeing our most sensitive parts.
I want him like I never have before. I fucking need him.
There's this fire inside me that turns me into fucking mush, and every nerve ending in my body is sensitive to the touch.
He can tell how much I want him. He smirks, his eyes glistening from the rays of moonlight partially hidden behind the black clouds. He thrusts his hips into mine, and I can tell how much he wants me from how fucking hard he is.
"What do you want, baby?" He asks, teasing my clit with the tip of his finger. "Do you want me to fuck your needy pussy right here?"
His bold, dirty talk turns my mouth dry, and my jaw falls open. I nod, biting my lip as I grab hold of his hips and pull him even closer, his thick, hard cock sliding between my pussy lips.
"Yes," I breathe, surrendering to the raw need clawing at me. "Fuck me, baby."
The storm rages around us, but all I can feel is him—his warmth, his strength, the way he makes me forget for just a little while.
Raze bites his lip, his gaze darker than the stormy night above.
He shifts his weight, grinding against me, and I feel a rush of electricity zip through my veins, making my heart race.
“You have no idea how much I’ve wanted this,” he growls, his voice low and primal.
As thunder rumbles in the distance, I arch my back, desperate to create more friction between us. "Just stop talking and fuck me," I urge, pulling him closer by the waistband of his jeans.
A wicked grin spread across his face, and in one swift movement, he stripped out of his pants, revealing the beautiful sight of his bare form against the darkness of the stormy night.
Raindrops glisten on his skin, accentuating every muscle, every curve, every tattoo.
He positions himself over me, and I can feel the heat radiating off him, mingling with the cool raindrops that trail down my body.
He leans closer, his breath warm against my ear.
“You drive me fucking insane, you know that?” And with that, he thrusts forward, sinking deep into me.
A loud gasp escapes my lips as I feel the delicious stretch from his cock and fullness once he's buried deep inside me. The waves crash harder against the shore, echoing the pounding of my heart.
"Yes," I gasp, digging my nails into his back, pulling him deeper as the pleasure builds within me, edging me closer to the brink.
“Shit, you feel so fucking good,” he groans, his voice thick with desire as he finds a brutal rhythm, our bodies moving against one another like a well-rehearsed dance.
Each thrust sends jolts of pleasure through me, and I match him stroke for stroke, craving more, wanting to drown out the emotional tide that threatens to pull me under again.
The rain coats our skin, steam rising from our entwined bodies—a wild, primal heat that feels both intoxicating and freeing.
My thoughts drift to Hawk only briefly; it's as if he’s watching over us, urging us to feel, to live amidst the grief.
That's the thing about love, isn't it? It doesn’t just wither and die.
It transforms, wraps itself around our hearts, and urges us to keep moving forward.
“Faster,” I plead, my voice barely a whisper beneath the thundering storm.
Raze responds instantly, the urgency in his thrusts intensifying as he drives deeper, claiming me, fueling the fire that’s building at the pit of my stomach.
“God, yes!” I cry out, feeling the tension coil tighter inside me, ready to snap.