Page 24

MATVEI

I sit beside her for way too long, watching her sleep.

There’s a certain magic in it.

I have loved and lost in my life. My sister, eighteen years old—an accident that forced me from childhood into adulthood.

But I’ve never loved a woman.

Until now.

And it scares the ever-loving shit out of me.

I sit beside her, watching her sleep like a fucking creep. I push her hair out of her eyes. I lean in and smell her, needing a hit. I watch the rise and fall of her chest until Rodion calls.

He’s found the location of the man I’m going to fucking destroy.

I leave her with reluctance, pack my bag, and slide my phone into my back pocket.

He comes tearing up in front of the house on two wheels, and I shake my head with a grin.

God, I missed the douchebag.

He screeches to a halt and jerks his head toward the door, rolling down the window.

"You think I’m gonna open the door for you, princess? Get in the fucking car." He grins and holds up a paper cup. "Got your coffee."

I open the door and toss my black duffel onto the floor of the car. The metal inside it clicks, and he raises an eyebrow at me.

He’s drumming his fingers on the dashboard, sipping his fancy little coffee, probably laced with cream and sugar and whatever other bullshit he puts in it.

"How can you drink that shit?" he asks, giving me a side-eye glance at my black coffee.

"I take it like a fucking man," I snap back at him.

He cackles, and I grin.

This is how it always is—the two of us, taking on the fucking world together. And when Rafail finds out what we did, we’ll stand side by side while he absolutely destroys us.

Just like in high school.

Only this time, Rafail will probably just lecture us. We’re both bigger than him now.

We ride at dawn because this motherfucker who's about to meet his maker is a one-hour drive away.

"He's not close," Rodion says. "We have some catching up to do, honey."

"Oh, shut the fuck up." I groan, looking out the window. "You wanna tell me again all about how your wife’s gonna have a fucking baby?"

"You know you’re happy, Uncle Matvei."

"I think, technically, I’m a cousin."

He furrows his brows and tips his head to the side. "How the fuck does that work?"

"Well, I’m not really your brother," I tell him, shaking my head. "I’m your cousin, which means your baby is like—I don’t know—second cousin? Once removed? Or whatever the fuck."

He frowns. "Let’s go with uncle. We don’t have to get caught up in fucking technicalities."

True, true.

"You get any sleep yet?" he asks.

God, they love giving me shit.

I blow out a breath. “What do you think?”

“I think you’re a filthy asshole who had to bang his woman to get fired up for the kill.”

He cackles and slugs his milkshake of a coffee. Then he tells me about his trip with Ember, about the work she’s doing, and he says it with so much pride. He talks on and on about shit he didn’t care about before he met her.

"You really love her."

He shakes his head, and for once in his life, he’s sober. "You have no fucking idea."

He exhales hard. "Did I picture her having my kid? A little piece of the two of us—an actual human? I fucking cried ."

I roll my eyes. “People have babies all the time. It’s the circle of life and all that shit.”

He looks out the window and shrugs. "But I wonder if they appreciate what that means sometimes, you know? You and I… we've seen a lot. We've lost a lot."

We don’t speak for long minutes, just looking ahead. I’ve buried my sister and brother. He’s buried his parents.

We talk about old times. He tells me about the latest fucking indie album he downloaded that Ember got him into, and I give him shit about it.

Who the fuck listens to that shit?

Then he puts it on, and I have to admit—damn, it's good.

He tells me about Semyon and how funny it is to see his cold, ice-hearted brother actually fall in love.

I bitch to him about my parents, about how I changed the locks and haven’t told them yet.

I want them to just show up and try the lock.

Feels like poetic justice.

"Tell me about her," he says quietly. "I know why you got her. How do you feel now? She still got you under her spell?"

I shake my head. "She is my little witch," I say affectionately, looking out the window.

But I'm not really joking.

I mean it.

She has cast her spell on me.

He smiles at me and nods. "Brother, I understand."

And I know he does.

I saw the way he talked about his wife last night.

This is the man who tracked down the bastard who hurt his wife, beat the shit out of him, duct-taped him to a tree, and made him watch while he fucked his wife before he killed him.

Yeah. He knows.

He shakes his head and smiles, but it’s a little self-deprecating. "Like, you're just walking around, you know? Living life. Same shit. And then she just—" His voice drops. "She just comes into your life and turns everything on its head. And nothing’s the same. Nothing ever goes back to the way it was. And you can’t imagine… you can’t imagine going back to the way things were before her. You can’t imagine life before her. Or after her."

He glances at me.

"That's exactly what it is."

"Good. I got you all sentimental and fired up, just like I wanted. Takes a lot of energy to kick the shit out of somebody. But if you do it for a reason? Totally different. This woman deserves your protection, doesn’t she, brother?"

I swallow hard again.

"She fucking does."

"Tell me what she’s like."

I know he doesn’t really care.

But he cares about me.

So I tell him everything.

“She’s the smartest person I’ve ever met. Not in some show-off way. She’s just like… always ten steps ahead.” I lean back against the seat and pause. “She’s obviously gorgeous, but even like… when she’s sleeping. When she wakes up. When she’s sitting in my T-shirt drinking coffee and giving me shit for taking it black.”

He chuckles. “I get you. So you’re saying… you like her.”

I ignore him. My voice goes harder. “She looks at me like she’s trying to decide if she wants to kiss me or kill me. And the fucked-up thing? Sometimes I think I’d be fine with either.”

Rodion whistles. “So you met someone who actually gets you. Psycho you. And doesn’t judge.”

I don’t answer right away, just stare as Rodion drives like a bat out of hell, and we eat up the pavement, trees whipping past our windows.

“Nah, man. It’s worse.”

“Worse?”

“She sees through me. Like every part of me, even the shit I don’t let myself think about.”

Rodion’s smile falters. “Damn.”

“She knows I’m dangerous. Fucked up. And doesn’t even try to fix me. She doesn’t want to. She just… matches it.”

“Sounds romantic. What the fuck , dude?”

I smirk and sip my coffee. “You’re just jealous I found someone who could stab me or love me in the same breath.”

Rodion snorts. “That’s some real soulmate shit. The greeting card companies should hire you.” He pauses. “You gonna wife her up?”

But he gets it. He knows.

“Of course.”

“And that’s why we’re on our little errand. No one fucks up your wife and lives to tell about it.”

I nod. “And that’s why this motherfucker’s a dead man walking.”

* * *