Page 88 of Unfaithful

I reach for his hand. “Sure you can. You’re the best father, the best parent. Do you remember when Mateo fell off his bike that time?” I laugh through my tears. “Do you know how jealous I was that he called out to you instead of me? They adore you, Luis. You’re their whole world.”

He squeezes my hand. “I have to tell you something.”

I can’t. I just can’t deal with anything else right now. I press my fingers against my temples. “What?” I say, without looking up.

“I asked Matti to fall off his bike that day and call out for me.”

I wait, feeling a smile on my lips. “You didn’t.”

“I did. I paid him five bucks, too. I wanted to show you I was doing a really good job bringing up our children. You were flying, Anna. You were so smart, so successful, you were like a shining star and I wanted you to see what a good jobIwas doing at home. Five bucks was a bargain, I think.”

“The ninja turtle plasters?”

“All part of the plan.”

“Seriously?”

“Cross my heart.”

“Wow.”

“I know.”

“He fell quite hard.”

“He’s a great little actor.”

“He could have cracked his head.”

“True, true.”

“And Matti went along with this?”

“Five bucks.”

I’m laughing now. I brush off my tears and rest my head on his shoulder. “I can’t believe you did that just to impress me.”

He caresses my hair. “I’ll look after them, I give you my word.”

But that’s not what I wanted to hear after all. I wanted him to keep saying how it was all going to be okay, and we didn’t even need to have this conversation.

Because if Luis doesn’t believe in me, then nobody will.

Thirty-Eight

I lie in bed most of the morning. Luis brings me cups of tea and watches me, his eyebrows knotted together. “Can I get you anything?” he asks. He makes it sound like I’m ill and I need tending. He sits on the bed next to me. “I think the kids should stay with my dad another night.”

“Yes,” I reply. “Yes, you’re right. They all right? They got to school okay?”

“It’s Saturday,” he says.

“Of course.”

“They’re good, they’re with their friends. They don’t know anything.”

“Okay, good. That’s good,” I say, then wait till he leaves the room to bury my face into the pillow and bawl my eyes out.

At one point I think there’s a knock on the door and my heart lurches because I think it’s them, they’ve come to arrest me, and I sit up, but it’s next door. I should get up and get dressed, though, because they will come, won’t they? I don’t want them to find me like this. I reach for my phone to call June. She must be worried sick. I want to tell her I understand she had to tell them that my alibi was a lie. She must feel terrible. She doesn’t answer and I leave a message. “Hi, it’s me.” My voice breaks. “I’m home,” I say, in case she thought I was arrested. “God, that was scary. Call me soon.”