Page 17 of Unexpectedly You (Boston Boys Bozok #1)

Fuck, I’m in trouble. Trying to convince myself that I don’t have feelings for Alex, that I’m not attracted to him, has been increasingly harder over the past few weeks.

Every time we’re together he does or says something, or multiple things, that make the butterflies in my stomach go crazy.

It’s very fucking inconvenient, because I can’t have feelings for him, and I know this, but it’s not stopping my heart from pitter-pattering when he’s close, or my dick from twitching, or my body erupting in goosebumps every time he rubs my feet, or tells me the meaning of a word I don’t understand when he’s reading to me, or makes one of his terrible jokes.

He does nothing to quell that ache in my chest when he laughs at something on Supernatural, or when he asks me about what it was like growing up with Gram, and then actually listens like he really wants to know about her, because she’s important to me.

I’ve gotten so little sleep lately because I can’t stop thinking about him and my right hand is getting a workout.

I try not to think of Alex when I’m jerking off but it’s no use, and I’ve even begun exploring gay porn to see if other guys do it for me like he does.

I don’t know why I’m coming across this realization so late in life, but I’m nutting so hard to watching two men fuck and it’s making me wonder what I’ve been missing out on all this time.

But even though I have watched lots of gay porn now, I still can’t bring myself to go out with anyone, male or female.

I keep telling myself it’s because I’m nervous still about my abilities in bed, but I know I’m fucking lying.

The truth is, I don’t want to be with anyone who isn’t Alex, exploring these things with him.

And I hate myself for it because I have no business thinking of him that way when he’s straight and hasn’t shown me any signs to the contrary.

For a bit there I thought maybe the texts we were sending back and forth were his way of flirting, but I realized that that was just wishful thinking on my part.

And the foot rubs every time he reads to me?

Yeah, I don’t think he’s trying to flirt there either, I think he’s just a tactile person and he’s being nice.

Ugh! This is driving me crazy! At least one good thing has come of all this though, and that is the fact that I have become very well acquainted with my prostate.

Wow! Holy grits and cornbread, that thing is amazing.

What would be even more amazing is if I could experience what it would be like to have Alex inside me, making me feel good, making me come.

God, I’d give anything to be underneath him.

I’m sitting on my sofa, making myself miserable with how unattainable my friend and next door neighbor is when my phone pings with an incoming text message.

Peyton: We’re going ice skating before it gets too warm. Invite Alex. I’ll be there in twenty minutes to get you

Me: But I’ve never been ice skating before

Peyton: That’s the point, babe. We gotta get you acclimated with Massachusetts winters. And don’t worry. I’ll teach you.

I groan but do as I’m told and text Alex before I start getting ready.

Me: Hey, Peyton says we’re going ice skating and I’m supposed to invite you

Alex: You mean you don’t want to invite me? Sad face emoji

My cheeks heat. This guy drives me bananas sometimes and makes it hard to think, or form words .

Me: No, of course I do

Alex: I’m just being an ass, gorgeous, I know you can’t stand to be away from me for a whole day. Be at your place in fifteen.

Goddamn it, why does he have to do that? It’s hard enough trying not to fall for him, but when he talks to me like that it makes me weak in the knees. And if I’m being honest, my dick perks up, too every time he calls me gorgeous. Between that and hearing him call me cowboy, I’m fucking screwed.

Me: you can invite the rest of your family too if you want

Alex: sure thing

Peyton is knocking on my door twenty minutes later and I step out into the hall, closing the door behind me.

I’m dressed in jeans, a sweater over a T-shirt, and my coat, along with gloves, and a hat and scarf.

She beams at me, and when I tell her Alex’s whole family was invited she gets even more excited.

I don’t understand wanting to meet new people but she thrives on it.

Instead of knocking on all of their doors separately she just cups her hands around her mouth and shouts, “Let’s get this show on the road, bitches! ”

My cheeks flame and my mouth falls open as my eyes widen. “Seriously?” I hiss, horrified.

Her grin gets wider. “What? It gets the job done.”

Alex is laughing as he joins us in the hallway and gives Peyton a high five. “I like your style,” he tells her.

“Thank you.”

Johnny and Isabella show up a second later and I can’t believe they’re laughing, too.

“I like her,” Isabella says, then introduces herself and Johnny to Peyton.

When Tommy and Pierre join us Pierre is smiling and Tommy is scowling. When Pierre stands on his tiptoes and whispers something in his ear, then pecks his cheek, Tommy’s face softens ever so slightly. Pierre seems to be some kind of magic charm for Tommy, and I watch as their hands join.

“Ready,” Pierre says in that gorgeous accent. I think Peyton is swooning, and I have to elbow her in the side to keep her from flirting with a very gay and very married man.

We take two cars and make it to the skating rink in about fifteen minutes.

It’s late morning and definitely a bit nippy, especially with the breeze.

Well, for me anyway. No one else seems to be as cold as I am.

Tommy isn’t even wearing a coat, just a sweater, and it’s making me cold just looking at him.

“You coming?” Alex asks once everyone has their skates on and I’m still sitting there, hugging myself.

“Eventually,” I mumble. “Maybe in June or July.” I’m not crazy about the fact that I can’t skate and everyone else can, and I really don’t want to make an idiot out of myself in front of Alex by falling on my ass every two seconds.

He smirks. “Best way to warm up is to get out there and start moving, cowboy.”

I flush and Peyton chooses that moment to show up next to me. “He’s nervous because he’s never skated before,” she announces, and my cheeks heat.

“Oh, that’s no big deal, I’ll teach you,” Alex says, and I must be the color of a tomato when he holds his hand out to me.

I see Peyton’s eyebrow raise out of the corner of my eye as I place my hand in his.

As cold as I am right now I’m seriously wishing I wasn’t wearing gloves so I could feel his hand in mine. “We’ll go slow. Peyton can help, too.”

“Yeah, you know what, Alex, I think you got this. I’ll check on you in a bit.

” My best friend grins at me and then skates off to meet up with Alex’s family.

If Tommy and Pierre weren’t already married she’d end up being in their wedding party by the end of the day.

It takes all of two minutes of them talking and skating for Peyton to have Pierre laughing, and I’m pretty sure Tommy is trying not to smile.

I hate how easy it is for her to strike up conversations with complete strangers sometimes.

“Hey, come on, I got you,” Alex says, drawing my attention back to him.

I slowly stand and I’m already wobbling, my hand clasping his tighter as we move towards the rink.

I’m a strange mix of embarrassed, terrified, and turned on as he moves closer and puts his arm around my waist to help me keep my balance.

At least with it being so cold outside there’s no way I’m popping a boner. My dick has shriveled up and my balls have gone into hiding. I’m clinging to the railing for dear life and Alex is chuckling at me. “I swear I won’t let you fall,” he says. “You can let go.”

“No thanks,” I mutter. “That’s how they get you.”

He laughs and then does something that has my heart going crazy behind my rib cage.

He loosens his arm around me, making me yelp and reach for him, only for him to circle around in front of me and grab my hands, giving me the sweetest smile as he squeezes them.

“I’m right here,” he says. “You got this. Come on.”

God, I’m mortified but I’m also so fucking gone on this man.

Damn him for being all sweet and tender and shit.

I’ve also noticed that even with all the other couples and families around, he’s not hesitant at all to hold my hands or touch me in a way that could be interpreted as intimate.

He just doesn’t seem to care. And I love that about him.

“I feel like I’m a toddler and you’re my dad trying to get me to walk. ”

He laughs again. “Hey, if it works.” His voice changes to that same voice parents use when they’re encouraging their toddler. “Come on Bentley, you can do it.”

I glare and slowly glide forward. “I would give you the finger but I can’t risk it right now. Just know I thought of you.”

He laughs more. “It’ll help if you pick up your feet so I’m not dragging you.”

“I’m good. This is working just fine.”

He shrugs. “If this is how you’re comfortable I’ll drag you with me the entire time.” He would, too, even if it meant he didn’t really get to skate much himself.

“Hey, looking good, guys,” Peyton says, skating close to us with a wide grin on her face as she glides around effortlessly.

“Shut up,” I grouse and she cackles, then winks at me, before skating off.

My eyes catch on Alex’s family skating nearby, and I can’t help noticing how Tommy and Pierre hold hands while they move across the ice. Tommy even twirls Pierre a couple of times and the little guy spins around on one skate, his skirt billowing out around him. Show off.

Isabella and Johnny are holding hands and spinning in a circle, laughing, before Johnny pulls Isabella to him and they kiss sweetly, and my chest squeezes because I want what all of them have so much.

And I want it with the man in front of me.