Page 8 of Unbroken (Amber Ridge #4)

I ndie scrubbed a hand over her face as she left her bedroom. She was tired. Really freaking tired. It appeared that sleep was not her friend at the moment, and that was all thanks to one man—Colt.

Damn him and his ability to invade her mind at every hour of the day.

What she needed was coffee. A huge, gigantic mug of coffee. And it had better help her focus on the photos she needed to edit.

She couldn’t get him out of her head. In her dreams, they always started happily married, but then things changed. Sometimes he returned to the military. Sometimes he chose his mother over her when she was in some kind of desperate situation.

But last night, he’d started dating another woman.

Audrey. And it exacerbated every insecure part of her and made toxic, invasive thoughts creep in.

That maybe Audrey would have been able to give Colt a baby.

Or if she couldn’t, maybe she would have been able to handle the IVF and the mother-in-law and the military commitments without feeling like the world was closing in on her.

Her heart squeezed.

Of course she knew Sylvia had said it to get a reaction out of her, and even if it was a lie, which it more than likely was, it had gotten a reaction out of her.

She stopped at the coffee-pod holder. Empty.

No . She was not mentally or emotionally equipped to deal with the day without caffeine.

She dropped her head into her hands, but the second she closed her eyes, that dream flashed back to her. Of Colt with his arm around Audrey…and Audrey’s big pregnant belly.

Tears suddenly filled her eyes.

Her doctors had always said their infertility was unexplained. Which seemed ridiculous to her. If she couldn’t get pregnant, then something had to be wrong, and it was the doctors’ job to work out what .

But they never had. And that was one of the hardest parts of the whole thing. Because with the absence of any medical reason for her infertility, she’d started to blame herself. In her head, it had become her fault that she couldn’t have a baby. That she couldn’t give Colt a child.

She squeezed her eyes shut to try to stop the tears, but one still slipped out. She scrubbed it off her cheek.

The knock on the front door had her straightening. She wasn’t expecting anyone, and she was not in the mood for company.

She moved to the door and looked through the peephole. Her chest rose on a sharp inhale when she saw the person on the other side.

Nope. Absolutely not. No part of her felt up to seeing him right now. Not after her dream last night. And not without caffeine in her system.

Maybe if she stayed really quiet—

“Indie, I know you’re in there. Please. I just want to talk.”

Her nose wrinkled. Well, that plan wasn’t going to work. She could simply not open the door. But Colt had a key, and there was no question in her mind that he’d use it if he was worried about her. And she had been avoiding him for the past four days, so he could definitely be worried by now.

With a deep inhale, she opened the door and was immediately hit by Colt’s dark, intense eyes. By the way he towered over her looking so strong and fierce and protective.

And his smell. How did he always smell so dang good? A warm, cedarwood kind of scent.

“Hey.” Her voice was quiet. Probably too quiet.

His brows flickered. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” She walked to the kitchen, taking the moment turned away from him to gather herself. She opened the fridge and pulled out two bottles of water. “I don’t have any coffee, sorry.”

She closed the door and turned to see Colt had followed her. He was close. Really close. He lifted a hand and tucked a stray lock of hair behind her ear. “You’re pale.”

She gasped at the light touch. “I didn’t sleep well.”

“Why not?”

Because of you . The words whispered in her head. But they weren’t entirely true. It was also because of her, and his mother, and the insecurities that remained buried deep inside.

“A few reasons.” It was the best she could give him right now.

He watched her for another moment before gently saying, “Come here.”

He tucked her into his chest. For a second, she was frozen, the sudden feel of his arms around her like a shock to her system. Then she melted into him, letting his strength, his familiar scent, chase away everything that had been haunting her that morning.

She wrapped her arms around him and breathed him in. God, he was so achingly familiar.

He’d known how desperately she needed a hug. Because Colt knew her better than anyone else in the world.

It was only when they finally separated that she realized her tears had wet his shirt. “Oh God. I’m sorry.”

“You never need to apologize.” He gave her a steady look. “Want to talk about it?”

She shook her head. Absolutely not.

He seemed to consider that for a moment. “Okay. But you do need coffee.”

Despite everything, she laughed. She really needed coffee. “I do. But unfortunately, I’m all out.”

“Lucky for you, there are these great places that sell coffee. And not just the beans—they combine it with milk and put it in a cup.”

She playfully hit his shoulder. “Okay, funny guy, but that would require leaving the house, and I planned to be a hermit in my photo-editing cave today.”

“Take a break from the cave and come get a coffee with me.” When she nibbled her bottom lip, he cocked his head. “Please.”

Did he know that she could never say no to his please? “Okay. But can we walk? I need the fresh air.”

“You got it.”

It was only a ten-minute walk to The Tea House. A perk of Amber Ridge being the size of a shoe.

She grabbed her phone and pushed it into her back jeans pocket before stepping outside. Colt was there, waiting. He touched a hand to the small of her back. And even though she should probably have stepped away, she didn’t. She let the warmth of his palm heat her entire back.

Three minutes into the walk, she asked, “Aren’t you going to push?”

“Push what?”

“Me…for an answer. I just cried into your chest and said it was because I was tired.” Which was true. But why was she tired? Something she was sure Colt would like a specific answer to.

“I’d like to know. But it’s your choice if you share.” He shot a glance down at her. “I have another question for you, though.”

Oh God. “What?”

“How are you out of coffee?”

Her brows shot up. “That’s your question?”

“Yeah. You used to buy those pods in bulk as if every store within a sixty-mile radius was about to sell out.”

She cringed. It was true. She’d done so many sunrise shoots back then that she’d relied on coffee to get her going in the morning. She still relied on it, but pods were expensive. A problem she wasn’t going to share with Colt.

She lifted a shoulder. “Maybe I’ve changed in the last year.”

His brows flickered, and he was looking at her like he was wondering if that was true. In a lot of ways, it was. She felt better within herself. Her head was finally above water. But nothing had changed about the way she felt about Colt.

A couple minutes of silence passed. It was a nice silence.

The kind that felt comfortable. But then, silence with Colt had always been comfortable, and neither of them had ever felt the need to fill it with unnecessary words or questions.

It was the kind of quiet that she could sit in for a long time.

And honestly, she would choose silence with Colt over any kind of noise with anyone else.

“So,” he finally said, breaking that quiet. “I’ve been wondering what these sperm donors are like.”

Jesus, she did not want to talk about that. “Colt—”

“I mean, how do they sell themselves?”

“Sell themselves?”

“Yeah. Do any of them make you think they have golden sperm?”

“Colt—”

“Well, if you’re going to inseminate yourself with someone’s sperm, you’d hope it was golden.”

She rolled her eyes. “I told you, I’m not doing that.”

“Why aren’t you?”

Because of you.

The silent words hummed in her head. And they were true. It was why it had never really been an option. Just something she’d wanted to explore because she did want a baby, and she and Colt were separated.

But…she couldn’t. Not without Colt.

“It’s just not for me.” She kicked a rock down the sidewalk. “Even if it was, I don’t think I could go through with all the injections and hormones and procedures again. Maybe I’m just not meant to carry my own baby.” The words hurt. So much that her chest felt tight once they were out.

“Hey. This isn’t the end of your journey to becoming a mother, Cricket. Don’t lose hope.”

She swallowed, wanting to believe him. “I ran into your mom in the store the other day.”

“You did?”

“Mm-hmm. She didn’t tell you?”

“No. But I haven’t seen much of her these last few days. She’s been a bit off.”

“Off how?” And did it have something to do with the man in the grocery store?

“Just acting strange. She’s been checking in a lot, but really short conversations. She said something about Ben visiting.”

Indie looked up at Colt. “Ben, as in your mom’s security guy?

” At least, that’s what Sylvia called him, but he was more part of the family than an employee.

Plus, he was getting a bit old to be security.

He visited Sylvia often, staying with her for stretches of time. Colt had known him since he was eight.

Colt nodded, almost like he was stuck in his head. “Yeah. What did she say when you ran into her?”

Sylvia’s words played over in her head again.

Did you date while you were separated? Or was that just Colt?

She wrapped her arms around her waist. “Actually, she told me you dated over the last year.”

He grabbed her arm, stopping her on the sidewalk. “ What? ”

“Yeah. Audrey from high school and a woman named Savannah in California.” Both names left a sour taste in her mouth. They shouldn’t. Audrey was lovely, and this Savannah person was probably no different.

“She said that?” Colt growled.