21

"T hat's not good enough," Raith says. His face is plastered with sweat, handsome features twisted with frustration. "You know they're all coming for you during the Crucible, right? You've got to do better, Nessa."

I let my rapier fall by my side. It's late, and only starlight shines through the abandoned training room window. I mop sweat from my own forehead. My arms feel like they're made of lead, and my lungs burn with each breath. "Oh. Right. Now that you've reminded me my life is on the line, maybe I'll just magically be better. That's a great suggestion."

He has been pushing me even harder than usual all night, and my temper is admittedly running thin.

"I've heard humans often press their meat sacks together in mating rituals to relieve tension. I could close an eye, if you wished."

"An eye? Don't you mean both eyes?"

"I won't let your enemies sneak up on you just because you've shed your clothing and put your disgusting, fleshy body on display."

Raith raises his one-handed sword, then flicks it toward my legs. "Stance wider, Nessa. You know better."

Clenching my jaw, I widen my stance and raise the rapier. Sometimes, having Typhon interjecting in my head makes me feel a little like I'm going mad. But I put his prodding from my mind and focus on Raith.

Even when we're just training, Raith requires my full attention. He's the most skilled opponent I've faced by far. Every time I get better, he seems to ratchet up his own skill, proving he's still holding back against me.

"Mating rituals are nothing to be ashamed of," Typhon continues, despite my attempts to block him out. "Though the elemental mating ritual is far more beautiful than the human ritual. I've seen what you humans do. My last primal was quite fond of the ritual, and she would perform it most nights. Disgusting. She sometimes even performed a solo variant that was quite pathetic to witness."

"Typhon? Would you please shut up?"

"Insolent, small, insignificant ? —"

I tune out his indignant words as Raith advances.

He performs a series of attacks like a whirlwind of death. I dodge what I can and block only as a last resort. Each block requires me to grip the tip of my rapier and the handle together. I have to brace my whole body against the attack, and the vibration sends a shock through my arms that makes them go numb and tingly.

It's like trying to stop a horse charging at full speed with nothing but a narrow sliver of steel. Each blow makes me think the rapier is going to snap in half, but by some miracle, it holds.

Part of me wants to ask him to take it easy. To ask why tonight of all nights, it seems like he has ramped his usual intensity up several dozen notches. But I don't say anything. I keep on training.

It's nearly an hour before he finally makes a loose gesture with his sword. "Take a rest. If you need one."

"I'm good," I say, though my gasping breaths betray me. My arms are dead weights hanging from my torso. My toes, hamstrings, and calves are aching from being in a fighting stance for so long.

Raith studies me. His eyes rake over me, assessing every weakness. "You're still too small. The things I'm teaching you may help you survive a duel. One on one when you can focus on one opponent. But what the hells are you going to do when it's more than one opponent? When they're all bigger and stronger than you?"

"So we're listing deficiencies? Is it my turn, then? Because you're an asshole when you're mad. And you are about as transparent as a fucking brick, so I have no idea why you're pissed and taking it out on me."

His jaw ticks several times before he responds. "I'm trying to keep you from winding up dead."

"And the only way to do that is to insult me and beat me senseless all night?"

"I'm training you. Preparing you. His voice roughens with intensity. I won't always be around, Nessa. What happens if your enemies come for you when I'm not able to help?"

"I was thinking I'd ask my giant water dragon to join the fight in that case," I say, even though Bastian's words from the other day ring clearly in my mind.

"There will be eyes on you."

Revealing Typhon won't necessarily reveal I'm unbound, so it'll still be an option in case of emergency. But he's an ancient.

"That is correct. Ancient. Powerful. Feared and revered."

"Don't go throwing yourself a party yet, Typhon. Ancients like you are all supposed to be mad. If people connect the dots, they're going to wonder why you're not entirely crazy."

"Entirely crazy? I'm not crazy at all."

"Debatable," I reply with a small grin to myself. "But even if they don't realize you're actually an ancient, they'll figure out you're powerful. And I imagine those people from Empire will feel the same way Serena did—that my tether to you makes me a valuable weapon they'll want to manipulate. And gods, Typhon... I'm tired as hell of people trying to use me."

"Then continue your training with the fire touched. Become strong. Make yourself worthy of my tether."

Raith is watching me with arms crossed. Ever since we tethered elementals, it's not entirely uncommon to see someone's eyes get a distant look. Usually, it means they're locked in conversation with their elemental.

"How do you two fight together?" Raith asks. "You and Typhon."

"What do you mean?"

He lifts the bottom of his shirt to wipe his face, giving me a glimpse of rows and rows of stomach muscles. So many that my breath catches and I forget for a moment what we were even talking about.

"I don't see why those lumps of muscle make your heart rate rise so much, angry human. They are like dragon scales, but worse and less functional in every way. Why do they only cover the stomach? What protective purpose do they serve?"

I decide to ignore Typhon. He's talkative tonight, which I've learned is something that happens when he's worried about me. He can talk a big talk, but sensing his emotions through the tether in addition to his words makes it hard for him to hide his true motivations. He's worried about me. Just like Raith is. And he rambles when he's worried. Raith apparently turns into a cold asshole.

"An ancient does not worry. We prepare. I am simply preparing a battle plan to dismember your enemies and perhaps snack on their corpses if time permits."

I send a quick pulse of gratitude through the tether.

Raith is staring at me. "Hasn’t he been training with you? What the hells is he thinking?"

I can tell from the way Raith's eyes move over my shoulder and then go up, up, and still more up that Typhon just revealed himself. He doesn't like when people question him. And he does like getting to show people his dragon form, even though there's only a handful he's allowed to show.

I can feel the cool moisture of his water magic behind me as he looms closer to Raith, teeth bared.

"Tell him I do not need a partner in combat. I am more than a match for any human or elemental. I am ancient. I am Typhon."

"Typhon doesn't seem to think we need to train together. He's... pretty confident in himself. We also can only train with him in his flying fish form in class. So it’s not like we aren’t practicing at all."

"That was not the message I told you to convey, angry human."

Raith shakes his head. "No. That's not good enough. You two need to learn to fight together. That's half of being a primal. You should be practicing fighting from his back. His voice grows more intense with each word. Hells, I saw him fly on Confluence Day. Have you two at least been practicing flight? Can he still fly in our world, or was that only when he was larger?"

"Did he just call me small?" Typhon takes a step forward, his teeth bared as mist rolls from his mouth in waves that quickly chill the room.

Raith's fire panther, Pyrin appears behind him. He's growing faster than most elementals, and he already stands taller than Raith, with his shoulders just above Raith's head. His fiery body is growing more solid, too—less like a shifting cluster of flames that takes the shape of an animal. I still don't think he'd stand a chance against Typhon, but it would be less of a mismatch than I'd expected.

"False. I could eat him in two bites. However, I happen to like Pyrin’s company. He and I like to joke about our foolish humans together. I would prefer not to eat Pyrin."

"We're not eating either of them."

"I know. I would do the eating. You would do the watching."

"Typhon..."

With resignation, he takes a small step back. Raith never flinched, but Pyrin seems to relax slightly as Typhon backs off.

"You need to find time to practice with him in his dragon form,” Raith says.

I glance at Typhon. Despite all his large and scary dragony features, I see an almost comical shifting of his eyes from Raith to me.

"You would demean me with practice exercises?" Typhon rumbles through my mind.

"You want to keep me from dying, don't you?"

Resignation thunders through the tether as Typhon sulks to the corner of the room and sits with straight-backed posture so he looks like an indignant statue.

If only. Statues don't constantly shove their opinions in your mind.

"Careful, angry human."

"Typhon might be willing to do some training exercises with me."

Raith looks past me to the dragon, then nods. "Good."

There's a moment as Raith checks the edge of his sword. The blunted weapons won't cut, but after enough blocks and parries, they can gain chips in their edges that can cause some serious damage. He's always making sure his sword doesn't have any before he'll fight me.

For all his deadly intensity, he's always strangely careful about that sort of thing with me.

"There's something I wanted to ask you," I say suddenly. I wasn't sure if I'd get the nerve to ask him to his face, but now I can tell I won't be able to keep this in. It's not my way. "Serena cornered me after Military Tactics the other day. She said Hollow isn't your real last name, and... I know that. Everyone does. Hollow is a name given to orphans, so why would she tell me it's not your real name? She said it like your original last name was some sort of secret. Something that would reveal who you really are?"

The mention of Serena's threat makes him lift his eyes to me. They're like golden torches partially obscured by the dangling threads of his hair. "I wasn't always a Hollow. Yes. But like you say, it's hardly a revelation. When my family was murdered, my name changed."

There's a cold matter-of-fact quality to his words that makes my chest tighten painfully. "Murdered?"

He hesitates. "Most people who die where I'm from are murdered. War is hell."

"Right," I say.

"He hides something. Press him for answers. Put your blade to his throat and demand them."

"We're not doing that, Typhon. But yes. Raith is always hiding things. He doesn't even deny it."

"When was your last meal?” he asks suddenly. “I know you’ve been skipping them. You’ve got to keep your strength up, Nessa.”

He's changing the subject. It's what he always does when the topic drifts too close to the truth. "Raith... You know everything about me. You know... what I am. You know about Typhon. My heartrate quickens as I force myself to continue. I mean, gods, we kissed, Raith. Even if you're trying very hard to pretend it never happened. It did. And do you really think I'd do that if I was planning to betray you?"

His eyes are hard. "You don't know who I am."

"So fucking tell me!" I don't mean to shout, but my voice echoes in the small room.

"I'm someone you shouldn't get close to. Somebody you shouldn't care about. That's all you need to know."

"Except it's not. I need to know why you're helping me. Why you care about me. Every fucking person in this Academy makes me feel like I’m going mad. They bend over backwards to save my life but nobody will give me a straight answer about why. I need more than half-answers, Raith. I need the full truth for once."

"Then you're going to be disappointed, Nessa. His voice strains with barely-contained emotion. I'll keep training you. I'll help you survive the Crucible, and when you're eventually strong enough to watch your own back, we can pretend we never met."

"But that's not what I want, Raith. Don't you get that?"

A touch of something finally seems to ignite behind his hard eyes. "Nessa... you don't know what you're dealing with."

"Then. Tell. Me."

"I can't." He hangs his head, shakes it, then looks back up at me. I can see pain in his eyes. Despite all his hard edges, I realize it's actually hurting him to keep these secrets. He wants to tell me, but he really thinks he can't. "It's not that I don't trust you. Okay? Can you at least take that for now and be content? I do trust you. With my fucking life. And even if it makes me a fool, I can't stand the thought of something happening to you. If telling you the truth about me means there's a chance of you getting hurt, then I'm not doing it. Even if you hate me for it."

"Raith..."

He straightens, and I can see a shift in his expression. Topic closed. Conversation over.

"During the Crucible," he says, as if we'd been talking about it all along. "I'll do my best to keep an eye on you and your group. I know Serena and Malakai will have at least a few groups coming after you."

I think about forcing the topic back to his secrets, but I saw the pain in his eyes. Maybe it makes me a fool, but I believe him. I don't think he's keeping secrets to hurt me. I think it's the opposite. Even if it frustrates me to no end, I can at least respect that. For now.

"You'll keep an eye on us? Won't that stop you from having a chance at winning?"

"Fuck the legacies. I don't want their privilege. I have no interest in winning."

I raise an eyebrow. "I heard they get comfier beds, though."

"Comfy beds. Lighter class schedules. Favoritism from Empire.” His lip curls slightly. Yes, they get it all. And the only cost is being a dog on someone's fucking leash. I'll pass."

"That, at least, is something we can both agree on."

"I want you to try to win the Crucible."

I squint at him. "You just said fuck the privileges of being a legacy."

"For me. Malakai wouldn't be able to touch you if you were a legacy. Not even he would dare. Raith's voice drops lower, more intense. They won't admit it aloud, but Confluence protects legacies like they're royalty. Nobody here wants their primal parents and grandparents showing up asking why their child was killed. Honorary legacy or not, you'd be safe if you were one of them."

I fold my arms. "So I'm just some fragile princess you want to protect? Put me in the gilded tower where all the privileges and connections in the world can keep me safe?"

My comment earns a rare smile from Raith. "Fragile princess? Fuck, no. You're deadly, Nessa. You've proven that several times over. But you don't realize what you're up against. This is bigger than Confluence. It's bigger than Malakai and Serena. Becoming a legacy would dramatically improve your chances of surviving to graduate your fifth year."

"Will a siphon care if I'm a legacy or not before it tries to drain me?"

Something dark passes over his eyes. "No. But the training we're doing. That might help you against one of them."

"Typhon could handle one, right?"

"Honestly? I'm not sure. Siphons are extremely powerful. They can summon a kind of void elemental. Its bite can be deadly to elementals, just like a siphon's touch can drain the life of a human. If you find yourself against a siphon, all I want you to think about is running. Do whatever you can to get away."

"And what will you do if you find one?" I hate that part of me is watching and listening to his reaction so closely—that some part of me is actually wondering if Raith is a siphon himself. Even if it feels like a stretch, it would at least explain why he's so adamant that I can't know the truth about him.

"I'll fucking kill it."

The pure venom and hatred in his voice almost convinces me there's no way he's a siphon. That, and his tether with Pyrin. I can’t say for certain, but I’ve never heard of siphons being able to tether elementals in any old stories.

"I've got to get back to the fire tower," Raith says suddenly. "I'm trying to train them up as much as I can before the Crucible."

"Why do they all treat you like some kind of leader? Even the original aspirants seem to look up to you."

He shrugs. "I'm good in a fight. They recognize they can learn from me. It's just survival instincts."

"Then what's in it for you?"

"Maybe I'm not the monster you like to assume. Maybe I just want to help them."

I put a fist on my hip as he heads for the door. "I never said you were a monster. I don't think?—"

He turns, half a smile on his mouth. "I know. You've never looked at me like I'm a monster. It's… one of a few things I like about you."

And then he's gone, leaving me alone in the training room, blushing like a complete fool.

"I shall follow the fire touched. If he reveals he is a siphon, I will destroy him. This is a sound plan."

"I need you with me, Typhon. What if somebody looks at me wrong? Who will threaten to eat them?"

"Hmmm... Perhaps you speak truth."

"Was what he said about siphons true? They can summon void elementals?"

"This is not what we would call them. But in a sense, yes."

"You didn't think this would be helpful to tell me sooner?"

"My knowledge runs more deeply than a well. If I allowed you to jump into those depths, you would surely drown."

"On knowledge?" I hope he can hear the dry annoyance in my response. Conveying emotion into thought conversations is a skill I'm trying to learn.

"If I believe my knowledge will aid in your survival, I will share it, as I’ve already said. If I believe it is a distraction, I will withhold it."

I pause, waiting for him to share something. When nothing comes, I turn to face him as he lays calmly in the corner of the room. "Well? Do you have any knowledge that will aid my survival?"

"Yes."

"Which is?" I prompt, biting back annoyance even though I'm sure he feels it through the tether.

"The fire touched is correct. If you see siphons, you should run. And I trust him. My suggestion would still be to perform the mating ritual. Humans are highly emotional creatures. Letting him enter you would improve his dedication to keeping you safe. This would be a sound strategic decision."

"I hereby ban you from speaking about mating rituals or me being entered, Typhon."

"The angry human thinks she has the power to ban me from sharing my wisdom. This amuses me greatly."

He's not kidding. A strong pang of amusement passes through the tether. Despite my annoyance with him, I can't help shaking my head and smiling.

"I'm going to my room. To sleep. Maybe you need to go find an elemental to mate so you can get your mind out of the gutters."

"I am a skilled mate, and performing the ritual with another elemental would require several days. When you are less likely to get yourself killed in my absence, I may do exactly that. For now, I must remain watchful and vigilant."

I know I don't have to tell him I'm glad he's here. He'll feel it through the tether.

I'm especially grateful as I walk through the chilly halls on my way back to the water tower. Every time I learn more about siphons, I feel more terrified by the idea that one of them is lurking on campus, searching for something.

But what the hell is it they're looking for?