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CHAPTER 7

I CLUTCHED A LOAF of bread and a bundle of cheese in one hand and carried my bedside candle holder in the other. Candlelight shifted across the dark corners of the getaway tunnel. Something scurried in the blackness, and I moved backward, my foot catching on my other shoe. My arm shot out, dropping my food, but I righted myself before I fell. The tiny flame dimmed, and I held my breath as the fire danced to life again. Cosme and I hadn’t played in the secret passages for years but planning an escape, and hunger pangs, seemed like the best excuse to enter the bowels of the palace.

Scooping my meal back into my arm, I continued toward my room. The stairs into my closet were narrow, and I struggled with the trapdoor. I managed to unclick the latch with two fingers and bump the door over with my head. I slid my trunk in my dressing room over the opening and locked it in place. My plan would work. The ease of tiptoeing around the palace unnoticed almost seemed too easy.

Tap-tap-tap.

I froze. Someone was in my chamber. Had I been caught? I left the food on the trunk and stepped into my room. A headache crept up the back of my head as I searched for the noisemaker. The doors to my balcony were propped open despite me having left them closed.

Mamá stood on the balcony gazing out at the Agata Sea. The waves rippled across the surface, reflecting hues of orange and yellow that matched Mamá’s gown. Should I pretend like I just happened to walk out of the bathroom?

“I apologize for missing dinner with our guests. I have a headache.” I kept my chin high and sat on the settee, my back straight as a rod.

She twisted around, lips squished together, and worry lines deeply grooved along her forehead. “Beatriz, I have something serious to speak to you about.” Her tone was flat, but her look held a secret message. I couldn’t decipher it.

Did Laude report my plan to her, or had palace gossip reached her ears already?

“You mustunderstand that we do the ceremonia for your own good.” Mamá pulled the tail of her dress out and sat in the armchair across from me, leg touching mine. Her large, brown eyes fixed on my face.

I stared at them, seeing my own thick lashes and round, brown eyes. They were the only features of hers that I inherited. Why couldn’t I have inherited her confidence in her weaker gifting and the way she gathered others’ esteem?

She continued. “You know our predicament. Word has reached our ear that Himzo has already moved their soldiers to the border. If there were another way, we’d have chosen it. I feel most guilty for your lack of gifting since my own gift is so weak.”

“Mamá—”

Her hand lifted. “Your papá and I thought it would be fair to allow you the liberty to choose your husband. But I see thatit takes its toll on you. If you would like, we could decide for you or give you more time.”

Both options wilted the bud of hope Lux planted. I wove my fingers together and forced lightness into my voice. “Do you think the boy with the loaf was sincere when he said I should go to Valle de los Fantasmas?”

She drew in a deep breath. “Yes, my dear.”

“Shouldn’t I go there now since it is time for me to wed?” I bit my lip and turned my face toward the choppy sea. Was I too transparent? Mamá always had a way of reading my mind, and I couldn’t jeopardize tomorrow if she did not agree.

Mamá shook her head slightly. “The whyzer in those mountains is powerful. He lets no one near the old ruins and has no tolerance for those who test his power. I will not jeopardize your life for something such as an Agata gift. And remember your uncle. He had a duty to serve and protect Giddel and gave it up for what? To be snuffed out by the beasts that roam the valley.”

“But Mamá, you see what life is like for me without a gift.” My voice cracked. A wave of emotions crashed against my heart. “Every person has a place. Cosme flexes his gifting, and it strikes fear in our enemies. Papá can control other people’s movements, scores of people at once. You heal with a touch. But what can I do?”

She tucked wavy strands of hair behind my ear. “You are not a sum of achievements. What would that say about all those who are not born with the gifting mark? Do they not have value?”

“I know. I know. But I am supposed to serve the kingdom with a gift, just as all in our lineage have done. It feels so futile that all I can do is marry someone useful.”

She stroked my hand. “You need not marry. It might take more convincing for your papá to approve of you remaining unbetrothed, but I’m sure he will come to understand.”

“No! Don’t do that. Time. That’s what I need.” I paused, hearing a wave slap the rocky shore and the slurp when it receded. This is it. I need to ask right now . “Could I retreat to the waterfalls of Mount Giddel to get my thoughts in order?”

Mamá thought for a moment. “Yes, but go no further than the river. Himzo soldiers have been spotted patrolling the other side. You will need a group of soldiers to escort you. How would you like retreating to your aunt’s chateau in the west instead?”

Aunt Isabelia lived along a path that led to Valle de los Fantasmas. Why didn’t I think of that earlier? I focused on keeping each muscle in my face under control. One wrong move, and she would notice. “I could if you called off all the extra soldiers.”

“My dear, the soldiers must go. Imagine if you got captured. Himzo would pay a fortune to get the upper hand. Nothing good comes from our enemies, and there is something hidden stirring in the air. I feel it.”

“You are gifted in healing, not foretelling. You need not worry.”

Mamá patted my head. “Your fanciful ideas will one day lead you into real danger.” She stood and walked to the open balcony doors, dragging her gossamer train along the stone floor, before turning back. “You misunderstand my gifting. My whyzer honed my gift, but I’ve spent my days as queen in the words of the Ancient One. Because of this, I know you are meant to do something great. But the way you are right now, I’m not sure receiving your gift would satisfy your longing.” She sighed. Her shoulders dropped a fraction, then she quickly raised them again. Did she know about my plans?

I cleared my throat. “You need not worry about me. I’m sure fresh air and calmness will make me happy.”

“I hope so.” Mamá pushed her shoulders back and lifted her chin, leaving.

The vines along my arms prickled. A need to prove her wrong burned even deeper under my skin.

Mamá will see how happy I am by this time next week.