Page 42 of Two Weeks to Fall in Love

I was supposed to sleep in the guest room, not on Noah Archer. As soon as I’d yawned the first time I should have asked him to go to sleep. But it had been so comfortable, with his arm wrapped around me and his voice in my ear . . .

I shook my head. Nope. We were going to wait until I got home to process this.

Only, of course I wouldn’t be that lucky, because as soon as I took ten steps in the direction of my house a somewhat familiar voice called to me.

“Skyler?”

My face paled instantly. I turned around and came face to face with Christina, a girl I knew from debate.

A girl who had a deep, confused frown on her face because this street was clearly not where I lived and, seeing her sweatpants and the tiny dog she had on a leash, it was clearly where she lived.

“Ah, Christina. Good morning,” I said, trying to appear casual. “And goodbye now,” I added, doing an awkward wave and trying to leave.

“What are you doing here this early in the morn—” She paused as the dots connected in her head. Her eyes went to the house I’d just walked out of, and then to me, seeming absolutely appalled.

“Yes, so, I really must be going now,” I tried again, wishing I was a magician so I could just disappear.

“What are you planning?” Christina walked closer to me, hands crossed over her chest.

Huh? My face must have been answer enough because she let out an annoyed breath and motioned to Noah’s house.

“With Noah.” She clarified, in case the hand gesture wasn’t enough.

“I don’t have any plans with Noah,” I said, confused about where she was going with this. Was she asking me about our next date?

“That’s bullshit. You know he’s actually a really nice guy. He doesn’t deserve whatever you’re scheming.” Now she was starting to sound aggressive. The claws were out.

“Whoa, Christina, I don’t know what you’re getting at but I’m not scheming anyth—”

“I heard you,” she said, and my heart dropped. “In the school bathroom with Melissa. I heard what you were saying. How you want to take him down. What’s he ever done to you, huh? I’ve been his neighbor since middle school, I know him, and I know he doesn’t deserve what you’re doing to him.”

My hands started shaking. My whole body felt weak. Simply standing was becoming difficult. I tried to speak but my tongue felt swollen, as if I could choke on it.

“It’s not, it’s not like that anymore,” I got out, voice trembling.

“Uh-huh. Sure it’s not. So, what, you’re in love with him now?” Christina asked, narrowing her eyes at me.

Was I in love with Noah? No. No, I couldn’t be. Or could I be? I definitely didn’t hate him anymore. It was hard to imagine that I ever had hated him in the first place. And when I thought about him, and the time we spent together, it felt warm and—

“Are you in love with him, Skyler?” Her loud demand startled me.

I looked at her, confused, shocked, unable to think. “No. I don’t know. I don’t—”

“You don’t deserve him,” she spat at me, with all the venom of a snake in her voice. “And I think if the rest of the school knew why you were even dating him, they would agree.”

I couldn’t breathe. The world around me was spinning. My body shook violently. Was that a threat? Was she threatening me? Would she tell everyone why I’d asked Noah out?

“What you’re doing is an insult to every single girl who asked him out with honest feelings.

And if Noah knew what your plan was, I’d be surprised if he could even look at you,” she continued, and my nausea mounted.

“Whatever. This is just wrong and I wanted you to know that. You’re not as good of a person as you pretend to be, Skyler. You’re a bad person.”

Christina was a blur as she turned around and walked away in the direction she’d come from. I turned around and started walking home.

One step. Two steps. Three steps.

My breathing was too fast. The air wasn’t getting into my lungs. My head felt light. Even swallowing was becoming a problem. I couldn’t tell how many steps I took before I grabbed hold of a tree and slid down to the ground.

I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t breathe.

The image of the girls from the bathroom flashed through my mind. Only this time their expressions were full of disappointment, hate, and betrayal. I’d betrayed them. I’d betrayed Noah.

I wrapped my arms around myself, rocking back and forth to try to feel my body. Feel that I was still there. And focus on the movement instead of the truth.

Christina was right.

I’d been deluding myself. Pretending that the reason I’d asked Noah out just stopped existing once I’d changed my mind. Acting like I could move past that. That I deserved to move past that. That I wasn’t a bad person. That my intentions were good. That I wanted to help.

Lies. Lies. Lies.

Lies I told myself. Lies I wanted to believe in. Lies that now shattered, falling around me like broken pieces of glass. Leaving cuts that bled truth . That reminded me of what I’d truly done to someone so kind, so honest, so beautiful .

I had tricked him into believing I was something I wasn’t. I wasn’t good. I wasn’t honest. I wasn’t kind. He had opened up to me. Let me into his home. And I’d wanted to destroy him. I’d wanted to hurt this boy, this boy who had already survived so much pain.

I didn’t deserve any of the kindness he’d shown me. I didn’t deserve his laugh. His smile. His honesty. His trust. His hugs and kisses.

I didn’t deserve him.

Moments passed. People walked by me, giving odd looks. I needed to move. I needed to get away. Get home. Get somewhere no one could see me.

Get up . Get up . Get up .

So I did. My legs shook. Step after step, I walked. Time flowed. Street after street I turned, as if I was walking on autopilot. It took several tries to unlock the door. I stumbled inside. My mom’s voice echoed somewhere. Then her face appeared. Worry. She was saying something.

“I’m okay,” I told her. She didn’t believe me. I didn’t believe me either. “I just—I need, please, I just need to be alone.”

Her brows furrowed. She was probably battling with herself whether to demand to hear what was wrong or let me go. Ultimately, she decided to let me go. I grabbed the railing of the stairs, climbing up, and with each step my breath seemed to slow down.

Finally, I could breathe.

As soon as I was in my room, I stumbled to my bed and crashed, rolling myself into a ball.

There was no going back. There was no pretending anymore. I couldn’t unhear the voice in my head. Christina’s words on repeat. The words I must have known, believed in, deep down where I refused to look. Just because I’d changed my mind, it didn’t make it okay. Didn’t make it right.

I’d wanted to destroy Noah Archer. And in the end, I’d destroyed myself.