Page 32 of Two For the Show (Trapped On The Tightrope Duet #2)

Holding someone at arm’s length has a lot of connotations, but this time it’s quite literal.

“You look distracted again. You better not drop me!” Dario says through gritted teeth.

“Wrap your leg tighter around the pole, and you won’t have to worry about me dropping you,” I say flippantly. My foot is in a hidden loop at the top of the slowly spinning pole, and one arm is pushing my body away from it as I hang upside down.

My brother gets the benefit of being right side up for this new segment of our act, but he needs to learn to wrap his knee better because my hand can’t be the only thing anchoring him.

After seeing a video online, Dario decided he wanted to try a spinning pole routine. The pole hangs from a chain on the ceiling, not touching the ground, and as it spins in a wide circle, we move around each other in a semi-choreographed dance that uses a shit ton of core strength.

I say semi-choreographed because that’s what we’re trying to do right now and it’s rough going .

Dario gets himself properly wrapped around the bar, transferring his hand from mine and using both to push himself away, holding his body horizontal to the ground and moving his legs as if he is walking through the air.

I slide my foot out of the loop and alternate my hands with his, copying the move.

This isn’t death-defying, like our blindfolded trapeze act, or heart-stopping like the tightrope. It’s not even as impressive as the Wheel of Death.

But what it is is sensual, beautiful, and mesmerizing.

All the things that make for an act that we can bring Alex into.

However, first, we need to familiarize ourselves with how the pole moves and figure out how to generate enough momentum to keep it in motion long enough.

After another fifteen minutes of going through moves together, where one of us leads and the other follows, we drop down to the mat below us and take a breather.

“When are you going to have a date with Alex?” Dario pulls no punches, immediately jumping into a conversation I’m not sure I’m ready to have.

“Do I need one? I crashed your date. Isn’t that enough?”

He scoffs and rolls his eyes. “No, it’s not enough. How are you two ever going to get comfortable enough to bond each other if you’re not spending time together?”

It’s a fair question, and one I don’t have an answer to. I’ve made my intentions known, and so has she, but it doesn’t feel like we’ve moved any closer to that big moment. Something is still holding us both back.

I have an idea of what it is, and it sits on a cell phone in my trailer.

I can’t fully open myself up to her until she knows why I struggle so much with Omegas. She needs to see that part of me that I’m afraid will scare her away. The part of me that feels unworthy of her attention.

Shit, I need her to see that part of me. I need her to know what kind of mess she’s getting into.

But the idea of cracking open my chest and letting her root around for my heart is terrifying, even if it’s necessary.

“I’ll do it,” I say, my voice tight. “But I’m nervous.”

“She’s not going to hurt you, Dex,” my brother says softly. “Alex isn’t like that.”

“I know.” I stretch my legs out and prop myself back on the heels of my hands. I close my eyes tightly, picturing the kind, understanding face of the doctor. “I’m not worried about that.”

“Then what?”

“What if she learns who I am and doesn’t want me anymore? What if I’m not good enough for her, as I am? What if she thinks I’m too much work?” As the truth comes pouring out of me, it’s like a weight is lifted off my chest. I didn’t realize how much I needed to talk about this until now.

“What if I open myself up, show her all my shadows and nightmares, and she decides I’m not worth her time?”

Dario hums, not outright dismissing my question, but taking the time to craft a thoughtful response. It’s not often my brother sheds his jester persona and has a serious conversation.

“What if she doesn’t?” He says after a moment.

“Doesn’t want me?”

“No,” he corrects, “what if she doesn’t decide you aren’t worth it?”

It takes my brain a moment to process the three negative words he threw out. When I finally do, I’m no clearer on what he’s asking.

Dario blows some of his hair out of his face.

His roots are growing out, and the look works for him.

I’m not going to stop bleaching my hair, though.

“What I’m saying is that what if you show her every part of you, and she wants you more?

What if she loves those parts of you? We can talk about what-ifs all day, Dex, but at the end of it, you have to decide if you think she’s worth the risk. ”

That’s the question, isn’t it?

Is opening myself up to Dr. Alex Shields worth the risk?

“I’m not… normal, Dario.”

He snorts. “Are any of us?”

“You know what I mean. I haven’t told her I’m autistic. What if she thinks I’m too much work? Too much of a fixer-upper? Traumatized and neurodivergent sounds like a handful.”

For the longest time, I was embarrassed to say I was autistic. I’m not sure why, other than the societal standard that being neurodivergent makes you less than. Alphas aren’t supposed to be like me. They’re supposed to be strong, attractive, dominant, and aggressive.

That isn’t me.

I’ve come to terms with it, of course. And logically, I know that’s not something Alex cares about because she’s bonded all the others, and only Jude is a “stereotypical” Alpha.

But what if she’s got enough misfits?

“She knows you’re autistic, Dex,” Dario says quietly. “I mentioned it in passing. She didn’t even react. She doesn’t care about that kind of thing.”

Am I glad she knows, or upset that Dario told her?

“Before or after we had sex?” If it was after, did she feel like she was being taken advantage of?

If it was before, does that mean she doesn’t care?

“Before,” he confirms. “I think that’s the last thing you need to worry about.

Focus your energy on planning an incredible date and showing her that you’re not the standoffish asshole you made her think you are.

Show her that Dexter Reynolds is Knot What she Expected .

” He’s got a smarmy grin on his face, proud of himself for that joke.

I knew he wouldn’t let that go.

This is stupid.

This is stupid.

She’s going to hate it.

Before I have the chance to turn around and leave, back out of my plan, the door to Alex’s trailer opens up. She’s wearing a pair of fuzzy plaid pants and a black thermal long-sleeved shirt. Her hair is messy and frizzy, a dark halo around her face.

“Dexter?” She looks surprised to see me. “What’s up?”

“Uh.” I pull the pint of ice cream from behind my back and hold up the bottle of white wine. “Can I come in?”

For a moment, the shocked look on her face makes me worry she’s going to reject me.

But she doesn’t.

Of course she doesn’t. She’s too nice to do that.

She steps back and holds the door open for me. “Absolutely. I was just watching some television.”

“ Knot What You Expected ?” I ask, kicking off my shoes at her door.

She grins widely as she leads me to her couch. “Of course. Did you see that season four dropped last week?”

I set the ice cream and wine down on the small coffee table in front of her sofa before perching myself on the edge of the couch. “I did, but I haven’t started it yet.”

“Oh, I’m only on episode two, let’s restart it!” She grabs the remote but pauses. “Wait. Sorry. You’re obviously here for a reason. I didn’t mean to steamroll you.”

I am here for a reason, but honestly, watching TV together is safer than what I want to do.

What I need to do.

“Do you have any glasses?” I point at the wine bottle. “I mean, I should’ve asked first. Do you drink wine?”

“I’m not much of a drinker, honestly, but I can have a glass or two,” she says, bustling into her kitchen and grabbing two lowball glasses. “No wine glasses though. Let me see if I can find a corkscrew.”

“No need. It has a screw off.” My face heats, because only cheap wine has screw off caps, and of course I got cheap stuff because I don’t know shit about wine and grabbed the first bottle I saw.

“Oh, even better!” She says, closing the drawer she was digging through.

When she joins me on the couch again, she has two spoons as well as the glasses.

“I’m assuming you mean to share that pint of cookie dough ice cream with me.

Otherwise, you should know that it’s rude to taunt an Omega with sweets. ”

My smile has to look uncomfortable. I feel so goddamn awkward that it’s hard to focus on anything else. However, Alex is intuitive and quickly picks up on my discomfort.

“Dexter, you don’t need to force yourself to be something you’re not around me. We don’t have to do a formal date. There is no rush for us to bond, okay? We know what we are to one another. We’ll get there.”

Her sweet scent washes over me, relaxing my shoulders and soothing some of the panic coursing through me.

She’s a good person .

I’m afraid, so afraid, that once she knows me and my truth, she won’t want to be around me, that she won’t want me.

But if she doesn’t, I’ll still be happy for my brother and my friends. Because she’s a good person, and they deserve someone like her.

I dig into my pocket and pull out her old cell phone. I charged it last night, just in case.

She looks surprised when she sees it. “Is that my old phone?”

“Yeah. I kept it.”

“Did Rich text it?” Her scent bitters around the edges. “What did he say?”

“I blocked his number,” I say quickly. “There’s nothing on here from him you need to worry about.”

“Well, I appreciate you bringing it back to me, but I can’t use it since that number is compromised.” She takes it from my hand and places it on the table. I stare at the black brick, willing myself to push past my fears and show her the truth.

I close my eyes.

“I need you to open my text thread,” I say quietly. “And read the whole thing.”