Page 19 of Twisted Secrets (The O’Malleys #3)

Having sex with him had been a mistake. After over a year of celibacy, she should have known there was no way to keep her neat little boundaries in place, no matter how sure she was that she didn’t particularly like Cillian. That was why she was responding so strongly to him. It had to be.

She turned around and nearly ran into Benji. He stopped her from mowing him over—or, more likely, bouncing off his chest—with his hands on her shoulders. “Whoa, there. You look a little out of it. Why don’t you take a break?”

Taking a break would just give her more time to think, which was exactly what she didn’t need. She was about to tell him that, but the girl behind her squawked. “This isn’t a Cosmo! I ordered a Cosmo!”

Well, hell, there went all her arguments that she was fine.

She never screwed up orders. Olivia glanced at the drink in the girl’s hand, but she couldn’t figure out what it was that she’d actually made.

Shit . She forced a smile. “I think a break is a great idea.” Some air.

I just need some air . “I’ll be back in ten. ”

“Make it fifteen.” He softened the command with a smile. “You work hard, Olivia. Sit down and take a breather. I can hold down the fort.”

Of course he could. He’d been doing it for years. She managed something closer to a real smile. “You’re a good guy, Benji.”

“Don’t go saying that where people can hear you.” He gave her a nudge. “Go on.”

She went.

As soon as she stepped out into the cool night—a welcome relief from the heat wave that had hit during the last few days—she tilted her head back and took what felt like her first deep breath in a week.

Cillian wasn’t dead on the street or something equally awful.

He was okay—an ass, but okay. Great, now that you know that, you can move on with your life.

Easier said than done.

“Olivia.”

She turned; a secret part of herself that she’d never admit existed was simply thrilled at the sight of him.

Cillian had cut quite the figure with his tattoos and expensive clothing every time they’d met, but knowing the meaning of those tattoos—and how extensive they were beneath his clothing—only made him more attractive.

It really wasn’t fair. She drank in the sight of him like a woman in the desert who finally caught sight of an oasis, not sure when she’d be able to do it again.

You’re putting distance between you two, remember? Distance. “You shouldn’t be back here.”

“Neither should you.” He glanced at the spot where he’d been beaten. “I would have thought that would go without saying.”

“I can take care of myself.” Maybe if she said it enough times, the men around her would start believing it. She almost snorted. Unlikely .

“And you can take care of me, too.” He grinned, quick and easy, and she almost found herself grinning back.

It was an effort to keep any warmth from her voice. “What are you doing here?”

“Well.” He moved closer, almost within touching distance. “If you won’t go out with me, I thought we could talk out here.” Something must have shown on her face, because he took another step. “I should have called. I’m sorry.”

She caught herself staring at his mouth and jerked her gaze up to his eyes. “Really, I should thank you for dropping the ball so effectively. I needed the reminder.” She took a tiny step back. “Now, please go. You’re ruining my break.”

“Do you really want me to leave?”

No. “Cillian…” Before she could think better of it, she grabbed his tie and hauled him the last step forward and against her.

She went up on her tiptoes and kissed him.

Instantly, his arms came around her, and one hand cradled the back of her head while the other yanked her even closer.

He took charge of the kiss before she could process the sheer bliss of having so much of him pressed against so much of her.

He teased open her mouth, any hesitance gone as his tongue stroked hers. It wasn’t the same kind of kiss that they’d shared in the hotel room. No, this was down and dirty and had her flashing back to the night in the alley, her legs around his waist and his cock buried deep inside her.

She arched against him, needing to be closer, needing to feel skin against skin.

This is such a bad idea . She didn’t care.

She didn’t want to think about anything except the next second and his mouth on hers.

He backed her up two steps and pressed her against the brick wall.

The cold provided a shocking counterpoint of the heat of him at her front, which only made her want him more.

She rolled her hips, moaning when she encountered his hard length.

Before she had a chance to really enjoy it, he spun her around, forcing her to catch herself on the wall. “You are so damn determined to drive me out of my mind.” He sounded as frustrated as she felt. “I’m trying to do this the right way, but that isn’t what you want, is it?”

The only thing she wanted right now was exactly what he was giving her, his body against hers, his erection pressing against the small of her back.

She shook her head, trying to clear it. “I’m not going to date you.

” I shouldn’t be doing this . Not here, not like this.

She felt like she was on a roller coaster, tipping over the edge of the first drop, past the point of no return.

And she didn’t want to stop.

“You want me.”

She used her leverage on the wall to roll her ass against him. “I want you.”

“Fuck.” His mouth came down on the back of her neck, the move somewhere between a bite and a kiss.

“And if I shoved down that ridiculous excuse for shorts and took you right here, you’d love every fucking second of it.

But you won’t go out for one drink with me.

” His hand moved across her stomach, stopping at the top button of her shorts.

Oh my God, is this really happening?

She could stop it with a word…but that wasn’t what she craved. No, what she wanted was exactly what his angry words were promising. She pushed back against him, silently demanding more. “Sounds ab out right.”

“No.”

She blinked, trying to focus through the haze wrapped around her mind. “What?”

“I’m not doing this again.” He undid the button, and dipped his hand into her shorts, bypassing her panties and pushing a finger into her. “So goddamn wet for a man you’re not even sure you like.”

She rolled her hips, trying to take him deeper, but the damn shorts prevented it. “ Cillian .”

He kept kissing her neck as he pushed another finger into her.

“No, sweetheart. I was down for exactly what you offered last time—a no-strings-attached quickie—but that’s not what I want this time.

Not now. Not like this.” He pushed her shorts partially off her hips, giving himself some more freedom to move.

“I like you, Olivia.” His words were so soft compared to the harsh way he fucked her with his fingers. “I want to get to know you.”

She was strung so tight, it was a wonder she didn’t burst into a million pieces. He was here saying things she wasn’t sure she wanted to hear while doing things that she most definitely did want him to do. “Cillian, please.”

“You want to come?”

Her breath sobbed out. “I might die if I don’t.”

“Good.” He stopped moving, his fingers still inside her, his breath heavy against her neck. “That’s about how I feel right now.”

She tried to focus, but he withdrew, sliding his fingers over her clit in a torturously slow movement. “Wait—”

“I’m not a toy you can just pick up when it suits you.

” He kissed the back of her neck again. “I’m sorry about the last week.

It was a fucked-up situation, and you’re entitled to be pissed.

But you can’t tell me to get lost and then practically jump me the second we’re alone. It doesn’ t work like that.”

He was seriously stopping this. She wasn’t sure if she should throw something or cry. Olivia tried to keep her chin up as she turned around, her body sparking from the lack of distance between them and the denied pleasure that was so acute it actually hurt. “You’re a bastard.”

“Probably. But I’m the only one willing to say what you won’t.” He was still too close, his breath coming as fast as hers, his cock making a tent of the front of his pants.

“You want me. I don’t…I don’t understand.” Any other guy would have taken what she offered, no questions asked. He had taken what she offered once before. Now here he was, riling her up and then backing down unless she agreed to go out with him. “This is blackmail.”

“No, sweetheart. This is respect. I want more than sex, and I don’t know how to prove that to you other than saying no.”

What am I supposed to say to that? Thanks?

Fuck off? Please don’t walk away when I want you so desperately, I’m about to break my own damn rule and start begging?

She crossed her arms over her chest, but the motion did nothing to combat the feeling of vulnerability creeping over her.

What if this was it and she never saw him again?

Fear that that was the truth forced words past her lips.

“Cillian, please…” Her voice broke in the middle of the word, and she had to try again.

“Please don’t leave like this. I…I’m sorry. ”

He took half a step back, and then a look came over his face, something both fierce and apologetic at the same time. “Fuck.”

And then he had her against the wall again, his mouth on hers, his hand burrowing into the front of her shorts. Two strokes of his clever fingers and she was at the edge again. He pulled back enough to say, “A date, Olivia. Your next day off. I’ll take you anywhere you want to go.”

She looked up into his dark eyes. “If I say no, are you going to walk away again?”

“No.” He pressed his palm against her clit, applying almost enough pressure to send her over the edge, and pushed a third finger into her.

“But I want this, sweetheart. I want the conversations and the time, and then I want you naked in my bed so I can taste every inch of you before I fuck you.” He pulsed his fingers, little strokes that set her blood aflame.

“I won’t leave you hanging tonight, but this is a onetime thing. It won’t happen again.”

“Are you sure?” She cupped the front of his pants. “You feel as out of control as I do.”

“Maybe. Maybe not.” He kissed her again, taking away her ability to argue, and then picked up his pace, ruthlessly pushing her to the edge and over, swallowing her moans as she came around his hand.

And still he kept finger fucking her, drawing out her pleasure until her knees buckled and he was the only thing keeping her off the ground.

Then and only then did Cillian remove his hand and gentle his kiss.

He took a step back, and then another, and pulled a card from his back pocket.

“Call me. We both know you won’t regret it.

” He pressed it into her hand, and then he was gone, striding off into the darkness and leaving her staring after him.

She licked her lips. “I’m pretty sure I already regret it.”