Page 28

28

Dario

T he sight of Thea lost in pleasure took me back to our teenage years. We’d spent many hours in the old chapel, hidden from her father’s prying eyes. What had begun as a friendship between two kids caught up in a world they had no business being in eventually morphed into something more.

I’d known from the beginning Thea would become my everything. Her inner light lit up the room, and when she blessed me with a smile, I felt like the luckiest boy in the world.

Her life was toxic in the worst possible way. She rarely spoke much about the shit her father expected her to do, but I knew. As we grew closer, Dad warned me to be careful around her.

He’d told me Francesco was grooming her as his weapon. At first, I’d had no clue what he meant. Dad had always shielded me from the realities of his job working for Francesco, a feared mob boss. I was aware, of course, that Dad did questionable things for his equally questionable boss, but like most kids, I was too wrapped up in my own selfish existence to pay much attention.

It wasn’t until Dad caught me kissing her that he sat me down for a chat.

“You gotta be careful with the girl, son, she’s dangerous.”

“Thea? Dangerous?” I’d snorted in derision. My Thea was the sweetest girl I’d ever met. All sunshine and playful teasing when we were together.

“Yes, dangerous.” Dad grimaced. “Francesco has begun training her. Torrance has her doing all kinds of things a girl her age shouldn’t understand.”

My brow furrowed. “What kinds of things? Like shooting? She told me she’s been doing target practice.”

Dad turned pale. “Look, Dario, I know you care for her, but it would be better for all of us if you cooled things. Why not take that cute girl, Alessia Romano, on a date? I know she likes you.” He passed me the onion so I could chop it while he crushed some garlic. “She’s a pretty girl.”

I shrugged, uneasy at the direction this conversation had taken. Sure, Alessia was sweet, but I didn’t like her in the same way. And besides, she had a really annoying laugh that grated on my nerves, sort of like a braying donkey.

“She’s OK, I guess,” I hedged. My eyes streamed as I thought about kissing Thea.

My feelings for her had changed now we were both teenagers. I no longer saw her as a friend.

“The way you feel about her is just hormones, son. It’s perfectly normal, which is why it’s a good idea if you spend some time with other girls like Alessia or that blond from the bakery. Lana? She’s pretty.”

I laughed with embarrassment. God, why were we having this awkward conversation? Dad rarely cared who I hung out with. He was mostly too busy working in his little office or meeting with Francesco.

“I’m not interested in other girls, Dad,” I said through gritted teeth as he passed me some peppers to slice.

He sighed. “Look, I get it. Really I do. Thea is a lovely girl. The spitting image of her mother, God rest her soul. But she’s Francesco di Luca’s daughter and this…” He waved his knife in the air. “…whatever it is you think you have with her, will end in tears, mark my words!”

I knew the pepper at him, hitting him squarely between the eyes. “Fuck you, I’m not giving her up!”

“Don’t you cuss me, Dario!” he yelled. I gave him a one-fingered salute and stormed outside. The screen door slammed in my wake as I stood in the shadow of the plane tree in our backyard.

It was too hot to be outside, but I needed a moment to cool off before I punched something. Or someone.

The squeak of the screen door told me Dad had come after me. I tensed, ready for a verbal lashing, but none came. Instead, he walked over and rested his hand on my shoulder. I’d grown several inches in the last year and was taller than him now.

“I know you care about her, son, and in some ways, that makes me happy. God knows the girl has no-one else who cares for her.” He squeezed my shoulder and sat down on the stone bench. “I just worry that you’ll get in over your head. The life she has in front of her…I don’t want that for you. Your mom made me promise that I’d keep you away from Francesco. You’re a bright kid with college in your future. You have a chance to be something, do something. If Francesco gets his claws into you, he’ll never let go.”

“I never see him. He doesn’t know I exist!” I scoffed, my anger having faded in the blistering heat. Sweat trickled down my back but neither of us made a move to go back inside, where it was nice and cool.

“Maybe he doesn’t, but Torrance does. He knows you visit Thea. That man sees everything.”

My shoulders tightened. Torrance scared me with his dead eyes and random acts of violence.

The bastard killed the stray cat Thea had spent all winter sneaking food out for. I’d stumbled across him burying it. He just grinned at me with amusement while I vomited all over the place.

Thea thought it had run away. She’d been so upset, but I hadn’t had the heart to tell her what happened to the poor creature. It was kinder if she believed it had found a better life somewhere.

“He hasn’t interfered.”

“Not yet, but trust me, if he believes you are a distraction to her, he will do whatever it takes to remove you from her life.”

I should have listened to my father back then. Maybe if I had, I wouldn’t be stuck on the outside while Thea barely gave me the time of day.

Seeing her with the others tore me up inside. There had never been anyone else. Sure, I’d fucked a lot of women. After I left her, I fucked every willing female I could find. None of them healed the broken fragments of my heart.

Most of them barely registered as anything other than a warm, wet hole, and there were very few I saw more than twice.

It didn’t matter where I went or who I fucked, nothing mattered. My life felt meaningless. Every day, I followed orders. Did what I was told. Hurt people.

Hurt my father most of all.

He blamed himself for what happened, but it wasn’t his fault. I hadn’t listened to him. Like all teenage boys, I thought I knew better. Thought I was invincible. Bullet-proof.

Seeing Thea, all soft and sated, killed me inside.

It should have been my arms around her tiny waist. My chest she laid her soft cheek on. My lips brushing her glossy hair. My fingers sticky with her juices.

But it would never be me.

Thanks to my stupid anger issues, I’d failed her.

Maybe if I’d questioned Torrance more that day, or bothered asking Thea before throwing everything away, we could have escaped. Me, her, and her sister. Looking back, my plan was bullshit, but I knew my father would have helped us.

He never forgave Francesco for luring me into the mafia, which was why he’d been squirreling evidence away for the last few years. Before Francesco sent me to Abernethy to watch Thea, Dad took me to one side and told me he had enough to take down Francesco, and when the time was right, he’d release it.

Francesco had no clue I was involved in Thea’s rescue. He thought I was watching the Forsyths, monitoring the fallout from the sex tape.

I was doing that, but from a distance. As long as I sent him regular updates, padded with the info Milo gave me, he was happy.

Although, from what my father had told me, losing Thea and Verity tipped him over the edge. The last phone call from Papa warned me Torrance had killed half the guards in retribution for letting us onto the estate.

Soon, he’d have nobody willing to work for him.

His empire was crumbling slowly but surely.

Cassian stood, lifting Thea into his arms. She murmured some nonsense but didn’t wake.

“I’m taking her to bed. Sort the fire out,” he said in a low voice in my direction.

I tensed, unaware he’d seen me lurking in the shadows. Watching her be intimate with him crossed a line. And even if my dick liked it, the rest of me was rapidly spiraling into a pit of self-loathing.

“You’re lucky,” I replied.

He paused on the threshold of the hallway. “Lucky?”

“Yes, lucky. Lucky she’s forgiven you for letting her down like all the other men in her life.”

“Like you, you mean?” There was just enough light from the fire to see his faint smirk.

“Yes, like me,” I said bitterly. But it was the truth, and I knew it.

“I am lucky, yes,” he admitted. “I fucked up, but I won’t make that mistake again. She needs me. Needs us all.” He watched me for a moment, and even though the shadows cast by the flickering fireplace shielded me, I felt stripped bare. Exposed. And not in a good way. “She needs you too, so man the fuck up and sort your shit out.”

I scoffed as he walked away, carrying the woman I loved with all that remained of my black, diseased heart.

She didn’t need me, but I sure as hell needed her.